U-571 - Collector's Edition

Rating:
Summary: DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE OR MONEY
Review: Leaving aside the MASSIVE AND GROSS historical inaccuracies which yet again fail to acknowlegde the fact that it was the UK not the US who got the first enigma machine - this is still a TERRIBLE film

Wooden acting, submarine film cliche after sumbarine film cliche, complete lack of suspense, obvious plot, boring direction and I have to say some rather weak special effects make this a truly painful experience to sit through.

What was Matthew Machonahy thinking off i ask you? If he wanted to make a war movie then surely there must have been a better script floating around hollywood than this? It feels as if the story was written committee style by a load of second rate writers who had no clear idea what they were trying to say!

Please I beg you don't waste your time or money on this film - it will leave you reaching for the bottle of jack daniels in a vain attempt to try and wipe your memory clean of this most excruciateingly dull film

Rating:
Summary: See it for the action and effects
Review: Jonathan Mostow, who so successfully created an atmosphere of tension and suspense in Breakdown, does the same fine work here in U-571. In this film, Matthew McConaughey leads a team of naval officers to steal a German encoder known as the Enigma. They take over a German sub, and attempt to finish their mission, when major problems ensue. (don't want to give anything away)

The best part of this movie is the effects and the tension that it created within the submarine. The special effects are amazing, the camera work is terrific as you feel the dizzy, claustrophobic sense of tension aboard this ship. That being said, it's the type of movie where you only realize afterwards what was missing.

First, there are problems of historical accuracy: Although the end credits thank the real Navy efforts to steal the German encoders during the War, it was the British, and never the American Navy, who were involved. This isn't a terrible thing, but it's crediting the wrong people. There are a number of other plot holes as well.

Second is the acting. With several exceptions, most notably McConaghey's solid performance, there is some bad casting and dry acting. Harvey Keitel ? He is listed as Chief Klough, but then why does he report to McConaughey's Lt. Tyler ? Bill Paxton is wooden, and Erik Palladino whines through his role and is annoying.

The suspense and effects are great, and it makes for a good `popcorn' movie, but U-571 could have been better.

Rating:
Summary: Propaganda
Review: It is merely a propaganda film. History is so twisted that I want to vomit in disgust.

If I ever bought this movie I would feel so bad that I would kill myself with a table saw.

Rating:
Summary: Target Practice!.
Review: The review by Doughty says it all: "However, the staggering tragedy of this film is its unforgivable failure to involve, despite the dramatic gift of being set in a sub, a surefire claustrophia-filled setting. Instead, it becomes a comedy for all the wrong reasons."

But also this from Eldon Curtis: "For the most part, German sailors were committed nationalists, but not usually ardent Nazis, and would be just as appalled as any sailor by the idea of shooting up lifeboats."

Another scene where the audience will frown comes near the beginning: The American mission briefer sternly warns that our inability to read the German code is losing the war for us. What a load of hype, oh PUH-LEAZE!

Such an historically disrespectful film is unlikely to be produced very often in Britain or Germany, so thank God Hollywood still cranks out such junk for us to aim our spitballs at the screen.

Rating:
Summary: How low can Hollywood go?
Review: This film should be the last war film you ever watch. What a waste of time! If I had paid to see this I would have demanded my money back! Many other reviewers have picked holes in the film itself and the many technical mistakes so it is pointless repeating it here.

The real story of "U-571" is far more exciting and captivating than the fiction within this film. At least the film refers to the real heroes at the start of the credits, but I guess Hollywood doesn't like the idea of foreigners being heroes!

In short, just don't watch it.

Rating:
Summary: U-571
Review: Capturing (and operating) german U-boat without knowing german language. What is next ? Heroic sailors who don' t know how to swimm?

Rating:
Summary: The Worst Sub Movie Ever Made
Review: This is the sort of thing Hollywood would have released in 1942 if they could have made it then. An out and out propaganda film, with good guys vs. bad guys, and the bad guys are irredemably evil and the good guys, despite a few flaws, are, well, good.

The U-boat itself is pretty good, mind you. It's just a shame it couldn't have been used in a better movie. One, perhaps, with some vague connection to reality. For the most part, German sailors were committed nationalists, but not usually ardent Nazis, and would be just as appalled as any sailor by the idea of shooting up lifeboats. (It happened once, true, but that was the only time.)

Other problems? Officers might drop in briefly at an enlisted men's party, but they'd never hold joint social events. Submerged submarines couldn't shoot at each other until sometime in the 1950's. No German destroyer ever operated off the Atlantic coast of the United States, or even in the mid Atlantic. And, while submarines all operate on roughly the same principles, the way they do it is sufficiently different from one country to another that an American crew trying to dive a German boat would almost certainly be killed in the process.

Mind you, if you just want a lot of noise and special effects, and enjoy watching stuff blow up and don't care a whit about history or reality, this might just be enjoyable.

Rating:
Summary: Dire acting; appalling directing; shameful history
Review: If I could award this film no stars I would. There is nothing positive to say about it.

As a historian, I bought this film well aware that its interpretation was jingoistic Hollywood tripe (no surprises there, then) but I enjoy both sub movies and blockbuster action films, and the cast looked suitably impressive, so I chanced my luck. However, the staggering tragedy of this film is its unforgivable failure to involve, despite the dramatic gift of being set in a sub, a surefire claustrophia-filled setting. Instead, it becomes a comedy for all the wrong reasons. The acting is universally dire, including Harvey Keitel's worst ever performance, the script is nonsense, the history is bunk, and the director should be ... Sorry, but words defy me. Even the audio fails to live up to DVD expectations. The much-quoted Das Boot, originally released for TV in 1982, is now on DVD with far superior surround sound effects. Those who enjoyed this should really question their standards. I feel scarred. Absolutely dreadful.

This movie deserves a nuclear depth charge.

Rating:
Summary: Good
Review: U-571 is a great movie. It is a exciting movie about a U-Boat during World War 2. Watch it.