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Things That Go Bump

The Item

The Item

List Price: $14.98
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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: I Did Not Get A "0" Star Option
Review: I am NOT trying to be funny; this is the worst movie I have ever seen. The movie rental place should've sued me for renting such a bad "movie".

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: absolute trash!
Review: I could not believe how bad this movie was. I am a fan of horror movies and I thought the box looked ok for a low-budget horror film.

I barely made it through the entire movie! It was awful! There was alot of needless murder and bloodshed. I thought that the
"item" was the silliest looking thing I had ever seen!

I tried to get a refund or exchange from the video store but I could'nt. I threw it in the trash!!

Please don't purchase this video or Dvd until you have rented it.

Then you can be your own judge.

I wish I could go back in time and leave that trash on the shelf!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: This movie gave me nightmares.........
Review: I had horrible nightmares after watching this movie. I dreamt that I was being forced to watch this horrible movie over and over again. This has got to be the worst movie I have ever seen, and I usually love all sci-fi movies including ones that most people don't like. The filming seemed to be done by a first year film student and I think most porno's have better acting. This movie should be categorized under comedy (as in Ha Ha, we got you to pay money for this piece of garbage) and not horror.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Delivery of 'the Item' Delivers!
Review: I had very low expectations before watching The Item knowing that is was shot on video tape and had been previewed before the God-awful "Drive In" VHS tape which I just happened to see the night before. To my surprise the Item blew my socks off! Dan Clark did a fantastic job directing and acting in this piece about a group of gangsters who must pick up and hold on to a box for 24 hours that is home to a monsterous worm.

I was really impressed by the acting(Dan Clark's character Alex rocks!), character delevopment(you really get to know the characters), incredible camera work(this is 1999 don't forget), great sound effects/music, the intense violence/gore and the end love making scene between the worm and a very hot oriental female. This one has it all!

This is the sort of film that someone is either going to love or hate. I don't think there is any in between. Read more online reviews and you will see what I mean.

HMTS CEO

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Loved this movie
Review: I saw the 2nd 1/2 this movie on Sundance channel it was wild . You didn't know where it was going but it was totally hot. When I got the DVD I was stoked its funny the whole violent thing is is fake , the blood and stuff. I thought it was wild how the "monster" changed with each encounter a monster you liked. the ending is weird too, it leaves room for a sequel to answer the question . its a trip ,its got EVERYTHING all at low cost . A great lowbrow real indy movie I DUG IT. Thank God for brave hearts who venture where no worm has gone before. SICK TO THE END THE WAY WE LIKE IT ******************ROCK RAT

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A ruby in a mountain of rocks...
Review: I search the back shelves of Blockbuster for the unknown or the unusual. There is so much bad that when I stumble on a gem I tend to be effusive, so be warned.

This is the kind of movie Quentin Tarantino, Dario Argento and Kevin Smith would make if they collaborated. Think "Dusk to Dawn" meets "Sleepless" meets "Clerks". Let me give you three examples. First in a Tarantino moment one of the characters unfolds a knife from a crucifix she carries and in a mad effort at revenge charges the blazing guns of the bad guys. In what seems like two hundred bullets later, and after being hit a dozens times, she collapses dead at the feet of her assailants, who continue to blaze away at her lifeless body. In a moment that Argento would be proud of, a character who has been shot mortally falls to the floor. The camera focuses on his eye as it searches the room, looking in every direction... looking for something until it stares directly at the camera as the light in the eye blinks out. Great stuff! It is very well written, full of great introspective dialogue worthy of Kevin Smith; for example one character says to another (and I paraphrase) "You're not a man trying to suppress an evil nature, but an evil nature trying to suppress a man." You don't get this kind of writing in a one star movie. The acting is really first rate with a special nod to the lead (Dan Clark?) who (I forgot to note the names before I took the movie back) looks and acts like Maynard G. Krebbs (from The Many Loves of Dobbie Gillis, AKA Bob Denver) on acid. Great performance, but every one is excellent.

Shot on video the film reminded me of an upscale Dr. Who or the old Playhouse 90 of the 1950's with strange video conventions such as running people look like they are on a skateboard. Still this is a wonderful movie experience, with a stunning visual style and three dimensional characters, speaking intelligent dialogue. Best thing I have seen since "Go" and I hope Dan Clark can do another one.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: THIS MOVIE IS SO BAD YOU HAVE TO BUY IT, SERIOUSLY.
Review: I SWEAR, THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE. I BOUGHT IT JUST SO I COULD MAKE OTHER ENDURE THE WRATH OF THIS MOVIE. THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT IMMEDIATLEY AFTER WATCHING THIS (PROVIDED THAT YOU DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE), YOU STANDARS FOR MOVIES DROPS DRAMATICALLY. EVERYTIME YOU HEAR A FRIEND OR LOVED ONE SAY DURING A MOVIE, "THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVERMADE". YOU WILL REPLY, "NOT AT ALL MY UNENLIGHTEND FRIEND, I OWN THE WORST MOVIE EVER MADE" SO THAT IS WHY YOU MUST BUY IT.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: absolutely the worst!
Review: I was shocked at how terrible this video was. I watched it once and that was certainly enough. I am a fan of horror movies and I thought that the box looked ok for a low-budget movie. I purchased it and,when I made it through(barely!),I could not believe it! It was so stupid, to me. I tried to get a refund or exchange at the video store, but was not able to. I threw the movie in the trash can!

The worst parts were the needless and stupid bloodshed and the ending of the movie. The "item" was a silly looking thing too!

Please make sure you rent this movie before purchasing it. Don't make the same mistake I did.

This is my own personal opinion. Be your own judge!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Don't buy this movie!
Review: I watched this movie and could not believe I sat through the whole thing. The acting was bad from the absolute beginning and the quality of the film was that of a show shot on a cable access channel. The so called "item" was this horrible stage prop that looked like a worm with a big phallus as a tail. The end of the movie was horrible and left me feeling like "what the hell!?". It was sick and I will never trust the description of a movie again!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: I COULD ONLY WATCH ABOUT 15 MINUTES AT A TIME
Review: I'm stationed overseas and we don't get much of a movie selection to rent. I wasted the [money] and wasted some valuable time. I could have been chipping paint or sleeping. The effects, acting, etc. were below B-Movie status. It is a disgrace to even compare this junk to a B-Movie. It should be burned and never sold anywhere ever.


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