Carnosaur III

Rating:
Summary: One of the funniest
Review: This movie makes me laugh uncontrollably just thinking about it. It has such a perfectly bad cast, plot, and conclusion. The way every character approaches the ridiculous carnosaurs is almost as hilarious as how silly the attacking reptiles act when they fight. You will find that this third chapter is the cream of the crap, and if given a chance it is a good buy.

Rating:
Summary: Carnosaur 3 Primal Species
Review: This time their more deadly. Their back and want more. Terrorist hijjack a shipment of what they think is drugs, but turns out to be a truck load of raptors and a bigger truck with a t-rex in it. That made me think about how a t-rex could fit into a truck. Then a anti terrorist unite is sent to stop the carnosaur once and for all. There should be a fourth one because a dinosaur survives at the end. The special effects have gotten a little more cheaper. The t-rex is mostly stop motion so you can't really see him that good. The raptors are the same as the second one though. See it today.

Rating:
Summary: What did this movie have against donkeys?
Review: When the words "Roger Corman presents" comes on the screen, you know you're in for some thing. Unfortunately, what you're in for here is a bad plot and incomprehensible writing. The movie starts off with some European terrorists (we have to be politically correct, after all) attacking a military convoy guarding a truck carrying what they think is uranium and take it to an abandoned warehouse in a harbor. What's actually inside the truck are two genetically built velociraptors and a female T-rex. Incidentally, the great method of keeping these three animals secure is to blow cold air on them - and thats it. I guess defense budget cuts took away cages.

So a team of army special forces are sent in to recover the three dinosaurs. But they aren't TOLD what they're looking for because "That's classified" - which is like saying, "OK boys, we need you to kill this guy. Nope sorry, we can't tell you who, that's classified." Of course, it's not until AFTER the carnosaurs have killed two team members that the higher-ups say, "Oh yeah, by the way, you're up against three dinosaurs." By the way, they can't KILL the carnosaurs because apparently these things were bred to help stop disease. However, at no point in the movie are ever told WHAT disease these carnosaurs can cure, or WHY the government chose dinosaurs in the first place. The sharks in "Deep Blue Sea" were forgivable because the super-IQ was an unknown side-affect, but this is just ridiculous.

After many deaths, the characters say, "Hey! Here's an idea! Let's put them on a boat AND THEN try to capture them!" instead of saying, "Wait a minute, it's not the method that's failing us, it's the whole LOGIC." As predicted, this doesn't work either, and so they must resort to using C-4, which they suddenly have. I guess the C-4 fairy paid a visit or some thing, I don't know...

Usually a film like this can get by with a bad storyline, but this had some atrocious writing in it as well. The marine Johnson is a black marine, so he gets to say stereotype things like, "Take dis mutha fugga!" When the police storm into the empty warehouse and see five small body parts scattered around a big room their sergeant says, "Looks like a plane crashed through here!" And by the way...what was with all the donkey references?! You think I'm kidding? The colonel calls Polchek a "dumbass donkey" at the beginning of the movie, then there are two more donkey remarks while they're hunting the carnosaurs, and then at the end of the movie the girl marine says, "Johnson, if you see any thing bigger than a donkey, shoot it!" Did the writers have a thing for donkeys? What is this!?

There is ONE good scene though: while the female scientist is blabbing on about the features of the three carnosaurs, Polchek and Sanders are passing notes to each other and snickering the whole time. They were taking the film about as seriously as I was.

Rating:
Summary: What did this movie have against donkeys?
Review: When the words "Roger Corman presents" comes on the screen, you know you're in for some thing. Unfortunately, what you're in for here is a bad plot and incomprehensible writing. The movie starts off with some European terrorists (we have to be politically correct, after all) attacking a military convoy guarding a truck carrying what they think is uranium and take it to an abandoned warehouse in a harbor. What's actually inside the truck are two genetically built velociraptors and a female T-rex. Incidentally, the great method of keeping these three animals secure is to blow cold air on them - and thats it. I guess defense budget cuts took away cages.

So a team of army special forces are sent in to recover the three dinosaurs. But they aren't TOLD what they're looking for because "That's classified" - which is like saying, "OK boys, we need you to kill this guy. Nope sorry, we can't tell you who, that's classified." Of course, it's not until AFTER the carnosaurs have killed two team members that the higher-ups say, "Oh yeah, by the way, you're up against three dinosaurs." By the way, they can't KILL the carnosaurs because apparently these things were bred to help stop disease. However, at no point in the movie are ever told WHAT disease these carnosaurs can cure, or WHY the government chose dinosaurs in the first place. The sharks in "Deep Blue Sea" were forgivable because the super-IQ was an unknown side-affect, but this is just ridiculous.

After many deaths, the characters say, "Hey! Here's an idea! Let's put them on a boat AND THEN try to capture them!" instead of saying, "Wait a minute, it's not the method that's failing us, it's the whole LOGIC." As predicted, this doesn't work either, and so they must resort to using C-4, which they suddenly have. I guess the C-4 fairy paid a visit or some thing, I don't know...

Usually a film like this can get by with a bad storyline, but this had some atrocious writing in it as well. The marine Johnson is a black marine, so he gets to say stereotype things like, "Take dis mutha fugga!" When the police storm into the empty warehouse and see five small body parts scattered around a big room their sergeant says, "Looks like a plane crashed through here!" And by the way...what was with all the donkey references?! You think I'm kidding? The colonel calls Polchek a "dumbass donkey" at the beginning of the movie, then there are two more donkey remarks while they're hunting the carnosaurs, and then at the end of the movie the girl marine says, "Johnson, if you see any thing bigger than a donkey, shoot it!" Did the writers have a thing for donkeys? What is this!?

There is ONE good scene though: while the female scientist is blabbing on about the features of the three carnosaurs, Polchek and Sanders are passing notes to each other and snickering the whole time. They were taking the film about as seriously as I was.