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Hemoglobin

Hemoglobin

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Failed attempt at classic horror, with no scares or shocks.
Review: One has to wonder how a movie that ends with a man eating a fetus kept alive in formaldehyde, in order to cure the degenerative blood disease caused by the generations of inbreeding in his family, ever got made. But here it is, "Bleeders," which is more promising than most independent horror films, but not by much. And despite that, it's still a movie-making folly. You'll barf, but not in the way the movie intends.

The movie begins by showing us a gratuitous sex scene, as a narrator relates the family history of a Dutch family who moved to the coast of North America and kept breeding within the family. Cutting to the same coastal island, only present day, John Strauss (Roy Dupuis) and his wife, Kathleen (Kristen Lehman), are venturing to the place of his birth in order to find out more about a degenerative blood disease plaguing him.

Paying a visit to Dr. Marlowe (Rutger Hauer), the only doctor on the island, they are able to get the medicine they need and continue their explorations, leading them to many different places and people, all of whom speak of strange occurrences within the Van Damme family, who were rumored to have been killed off in a fire 75 years before.

As in any horror movie, people start disappearing into the ground, the victims of midget-like mutated "people" who live in tunnels spanning the length of the island. As if the movie doesn't make it predictable enough, it lets us know that John is actually a member of the Van Damme family. And to prepare itself for an inevitably boring climax, the movie has a beginning twist: the coffins on the island are all being dug up, so the mutants must look for other, living sources of nourishment.

I have to ask just one question: Who comes up with this kind of material? It's the kind of plot that, even with a Hollywood gloss and a major studio to back it up, it would still flounder miserably. It's predictable and lame, and sets up its characters in different ways so that we know who's going to die when, where, how, and what's even going to be left after the feast.

The acting is sketchy at best. Rutger Hauer's acting as Dr. Marlowe isn't as much a problem as the fact that his character is merely there to provide all the scientific information needed so that the imbeciles sitting in front of the television will know what's going on. Roy Dupuis is a bore as John, never reaching any level of believability with his character's urge to learn more about his past. Kristen Lehman, as Kathleen, has her moments, mostly in her character's concern for her husband, but it quickly dissolves when her T&A shot comes to call.

And if there's nothing more I hate about a horror movie, it's the long awaited antagonist that is never really as scary as the movie claims to be. All the character talk of foreboding things to come, and some nice flashbacks in John's mind set us up for what can only end up being a fall. The small creatures are funny rather than scary, and if you need a good laugh, then this is a pretty good movie for it.

"Bleeders" is the kind of movie directed with one thing in mind: money. There's no coherent plot, no credible acting, no intense suspense sequences or grasping images. What there is is an abundance of banal, uninvolving story and cheesy horror tactics that makes movies like "Kolobos" look good.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: GREAT movie
Review: one of te best movies a fetus loving maniac can buy, shows sex after eating different color eyed hemogoblin babies, very hot

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: SORRY MOVIE FANS, THIS FILM SUCKS!!!
Review: Rutger Hauer is the only reason to see this movie if you do at all. If you are one of his fans, this may turn you against him. Do yourself a favor and stay away from this abomination, it's boring, pointless, and the plot is kind of stupid. The box cover cost more than the film, that should say it all...

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: this is how low I will sink to see Rutger
Review: Some of you will understand exactly what I'm talking about. The rest of you, I'd say don't bother watching this movie.

I will watch ANYTHING with Rutger Hauer. (Other than that, I'm fairly normal.) Anything at all. Which explains why I sat through this creepy little B minus minus movie about legless, formaldehyde-swilling/flesh-eating mutants on a generic fishing island. (Supposed to be Maine, judging by the boat registrations, but apparently filmed in Canada- and God only knows what kind of accent those people were attempting. )

Rutger, Rutger, Rutger. You are fast becoming Brandoesque in stature- and I don't refer to acting ability. You mumble and slur your words. You no longer get the girl. Yet I still see you as Etienne of Navarre, as Martin the swashbuckler- impossibly Aryan, the android more alive than real flesh. Sigh. Is there any hope for me??? Probably not, if I keep watching such awful movies just to get my fix.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: This film is a classic old fashion B movie
Review: This film contains most of the elements of a wonderfully old fashion horror movie: the beautiful, tragic young couple facing an incurable illness; the mad old woman in the ruined old castle; the family skeleton in the closet; the drunken doctor; wonderfully fake monsters; a remote island setting; the delightfully dishonest innkeeper: so where did it go wrong? The editing was haphazard. There were glaring inconsistancies in the storyline. Sometimes there were hints that led nowhere. Other times things happened that made you sure you had miss an important part of the movie. There are flashbacks but they occur so quickly the only way I was able to tell they contained actual pictures and aren't just blurs representing the confusion and weakness of John's illness was to watch them in slow motion. Roy Dupuis and Kristin Lehman made the viewer care about what happened to John and Kathy Strauss. During their search for the secret of John's past they meet a number of interesting residents of the island. Sadly most of these characters never develop. Rutgar Hauer as the doctor is actually a more minor character than his billing lead me to expect. This film is not the movie it could have been, still I enjoyed it well enough to rewatch it and try of figure out the parts where I had been left with the feeling I'd missed something.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Good Monster Movie
Review: This film had some nice T & A. The social commentary is waring against incest. An important bloodline practices incest to keep the bloodline going, and over time the children end up becoming grotesque little monsters. I got this to finish my H.P. Lovecraft adaption collection; I have every last one of them and Crimson Cult is on its way. Another, better film, was based off the same H.P. Lovecraft story, if not I stand corrected; it was called Lurking Fear. As far as Lovecraft adaptions go, this is B-grade. This is an under-rated film. I got lucky and I own the now out of print and rare bloody box version. There is a plastic thing attached to the front cover that contains fake blood that is movable. I originally saw this as a rental when it first came out. It made a strong impression on me, both with social commentary, the T & A, and the off-beat nature of it. Recommended for diehard horror fans and H.P. Lovecraft devotees.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Good Monster Movie
Review: This film had some nice T & A. The social commentary is waring against incest. An important bloodline practices incest to keep the bloodline going, and over time the children end up becoming grotesque little monsters. I got this to finish my H.P. Lovecraft adaption collection; I have every last one of them and Crimson Cult is on its way. Another, better film, was based off the same H.P. Lovecraft story, if not I stand corrected; it was called Lurking Fear. As far as Lovecraft adaptions go, this is B-grade. This is an under-rated film. I got lucky and I own the now out of print and rare bloody box version. There is a plastic thing attached to the front cover that contains fake blood that is movable. I originally saw this as a rental when it first came out. It made a strong impression on me, both with social commentary, the T & A, and the off-beat nature of it. Recommended for diehard horror fans and H.P. Lovecraft devotees.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Not worth the time or Money...Had it's moments though
Review: This film was about a family from france that commited incest with each other over 300 years and the horrible offspring with various genetic deformalities it produced.One family member came out normal and they send him away to be adopted.Later on in life with his wife he returns to the island that his family is from to find out his history and if there are any surviving relatives in his family who can tell him about the strange genetic disease of the blood that he has.It's not that this film was terrible it's just that it was not exciting enough to sit there for a hour and a half. Was a waste of my time.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Going, going, gone...
Review: This movie had, what it seemed to be, an interesting plot going for it, for the first hour, and then.... Muppets! The film turns from a man haunted by a mysterious legacy, to muppets fighting villagers. Oh well, pass the popcorn.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: The most origional horror film of the 90's!
Review: This movie has everything horror film fans are looking for! It's scary, gory and it has beautiful women in it! When a couple come to a remote island off the coast of Maine to find his family, they soon find out that the town has few secrets burried under the cemetary. Centuries earlier a family of rich Dutch people called the VanDams lived there. Being inbreads,their mansion was set aflame by the townsfolk. But some Vandams escaped into the tunnels beneath the island. Years later they still live there and survive by eating the corpses from the cemetary. Once their food source is taken away after the cemetary is dug up, they become desprate for food and start feeding on those unlucky enough to be out at night. Soon they are discovered and are found to be very sensitive to light. The townsfolk gather at the lighthouse where they hold up with guns through the storm and try to fight them off. The best scene is where the island's mortician, Alice climbs down into a grave to steal a necklace (for the best of intentions) and a Vandam pops out from underneath the coffin, digs sharpened hammers and spikes into her calves and pulls her into the caves. I give this movie an A+!


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