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Vampires - Los Muertos

Vampires - Los Muertos

List Price: $19.94
Your Price: $17.95
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Badly miscast, lame sequel, with one wasted good idea
Review: "Vampires: Los Muertos" is a sequel of sorts to "John Carpenter's Vampires," which means that it inhabits the same world. James Woods and his over the relentless and entertaining chewing of each and every scene has now been replaced by Jon Bon Jovi's lethargic turn as vampire hunter Derek Bliss. I guess he is supposed to be a bad ass just like Woods' character, but he only gets the role half right (the first half people, be nice). This was just a mondo bad casting decision and writer-director Tommy Lee Wallace dug his 2002 film into a hole on that basis alone. The second strike is Arly Jover as the master vampire Una, not just because the name strikes me as silly but also because she is no where near as scary or as sexy as she is supposed to be. If the hero and the villain are essentially boring, what hope can a vampire spaghetti-western have?

Whereas Woods headed an organized group of vampire hunters that was decimated early in the film forcing the hero to go almost solo, Bon Jovi does the reverse. Bliss is a free-lance vampire hunter for hire who has to put together a crew, so there are all sorts of trust and competency issues. If Bliss cannot count on Father Rodrigo (Cristián de la Fuente) then his merry little group and the audience are in for a long hole. We are still in the world where vampires explode into flames when exposed to sunlight, even when you use one of their heads as a hood ornament, but that is also something old and something new along with everything borrowed from the first film. The idea of being able to communicate through the shared blood of the vampire from Stoker's "Dracula" comes back and works in with the more contemporary idea that vampirism is essentially a blood disease.

"Vampires: Los Muertos" is a bad film, but it picked up its third star because of one intriguing idea off of the blood disease idea. Having established that a drug cocktail has stopped Zoey (Natasha Gregson Wagner) the requisite damsel in distress from turning into a vamp despite having been bitten, Wallace does come up with an interesting twist by having Una use the magic medicine to help her take a walk in the sunlight like she was wearing the Gem of Amarra. The execution is not as exciting as the idea and you really wish it had been used in the service of a much better film. Here it is just too little, too late in terms of saving this film from driving off the cliff, but it does stand out as the one bright spot in this dreary little film which continues the idea that vampires are flourishing south of the border.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Badly miscast, lame sequel, with one wasted good idea
Review: "Vampires: Los Muertos" is a sequel of sorts to "John Carpenter's Vampires," which means that it inhabits the same world. James Woods and his over the relentless and entertaining chewing of each and every scene has now been replaced by Jon Bon Jovi's lethargic turn as vampire hunter Derek Bliss. I guess he is supposed to be a bad ass just like Woods' character, but he only gets the role half right (the first half people, be nice). This was just a mondo bad casting decision and writer-director Tommy Lee Wallace dug his 2002 film into a hole on that basis alone. The second strike is Arly Jover as the master vampire Una, not just because the name strikes me as silly but also because she is no where near as scary or as sexy as she is supposed to be. If the hero and the villain are essentially boring, what hope can a vampire spaghetti-western have?

Whereas Woods headed an organized group of vampire hunters that was decimated early in the film forcing the hero to go almost solo, Bon Jovi does the reverse. Bliss is a free-lance vampire hunter for hire who has to put together a crew, so there are all sorts of trust and competency issues. If Bliss cannot count on Father Rodrigo (Cristián de la Fuente) then his merry little group and the audience are in for a long hole. We are still in the world where vampires explode into flames when exposed to sunlight, even when you use one of their heads as a hood ornament, but that is also something old and something new along with everything borrowed from the first film. The idea of being able to communicate through the shared blood of the vampire from Stoker's "Dracula" comes back and works in with the more contemporary idea that vampirism is essentially a blood disease.

"Vampires: Los Muertos" is a bad film, but it picked up its third star because of one intriguing idea off of the blood disease idea. Having established that a drug cocktail has stopped Zoey (Natasha Gregson Wagner) the requisite damsel in distress from turning into a vamp despite having been bitten, Wallace does come up with an interesting twist by having Una use the magic medicine to help her take a walk in the sunlight like she was wearing the Gem of Amarra. The execution is not as exciting as the idea and you really wish it had been used in the service of a much better film. Here it is just too little, too late in terms of saving this film from driving off the cliff, but it does stand out as the one bright spot in this dreary little film which continues the idea that vampires are flourishing south of the border.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Justice in the Barrel
Review: "Vampires: Los Muertos", a sequel to John Carpenter's 1998 hit "Vampires", is one more fine film in the Jon Bon Jovi canon. This time around, Jon plays a vampire slayer who has his hands full saving the world deep in the heart of Mexico. While it re-uses many of the elements from the first movie, and borrows one major plot point from Kathryn Bigelow's "Near Dark", the script has enough going for it to be an enjoyable way to waste an hour and a half. And, of course, Jon shows that his two years of acting classes paid off.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Lame
Review: A more or less sequel to John Carpenter's smashing take on vampires, Vampires: Los Muertos finds Carpenter's long time collaborator Tommy Lee Wallace (Halloween 3) directing this low budget direct to video shlock fest, starring Jon Bon Jovi of all people as a vampire hunter in over his head. Assembling a haphazard, rag tag team (including Lost Highway's Natasha Wagner) to combat a vampire queen (Arly Jover, who played a vamp in the original Blade, and she looks much better here), the film rolls briskly along with some over the top overacting, plenty of leaps in logic, and plot holes aplenty. It's a shame John Carpenter's name got attached to this drek of a horror film, those who enjoyed his Vampires should definitely avoid.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Boring.
Review: A poor plot and a very slow-moving story make this film a chore to watch.

Rental only.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: sort of boring, difficult to follow
Review: A vampire movie is good if it does one of two things: makes you think OR makes you a bit scared. This movie didn't do either for me. Maybe I just have difficulty by Bon Jovi as a vampir hunter but I think ultimately not enough time is spent on telling us and helping us feel why these hunters do what they do and why the vampires do what they do.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Dont quit your day job...
Review: Dont waste the money on this stinker. Jon, stick to your day job of rocking teenage girls and middle-aged housewives. This is supposedly some sort of sequal to Carpenter's "Vampires" which totally rocked, Los Muertes is nowhere near being in the same league. Obviously an excuse for Bon Jovi's female fans to see Jon with his shirt off unfortunatly guys there are no gratutious female bod-shots for us to make this movie worth-while. Forget the fact that the plot jumps around so much that you give up trying to understand it and just pray that it somehow gets better before you fall asleep. Take some advice and rent it like I did. Especially if there is nothing else you would rather do than numb your mind.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: This is great film...
Review: Good action, the vampire master chick moves kind of like Jet Li in THE ONE, some gory and some really funny moments. Down side is that besides the vampire effects, nothing really new to see, and the black dude has to make what I consider to be the most incredibly stupidest move in the history of vamp movies! That one plot point is so outstandingly stupid that it makes no sense in the larger scheme of the movie. It's akin to being a zombie hunter and deciding to take a nap in the graveyard when you're on the trail of a zombie who is killing off people just like you! Too dumb for words. Besides that. I loved the film, and the diner scene is a killer. Get it and be amused and sometimes shocked. But the brotherman...why oh why???

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Vampire: Los Muertos
Review: Good fun! If you like Vampire movies, this one'll do ya! And who doesn't like to see Jon Bon Jovi...he's great!!!

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: go back to hell
Review: i have never seen such a pointless movie. i mean what the hell were they thinking. the script was bad, no bad is an under statement, horrible script and even worse actors. the only good part of the is the lead vampire, i would have gave this movie 5 stars if she would have just ripped her shirt off like expected in every other horror movie but no they go and screw it up like everything else. and oh yeah the end was good to.


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