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Jack Frost

Jack Frost

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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Hilarious and Chilling all in 1!
Review: When I bought this movie, I was in the mood for bad acting and pointless gore(don't ask why)and thought this was the perfect choice. Well I was wrong! This movie made me laugh and scream! It's about a maniac who gets a special kind of acid douced on him and turns into a killer snowman. the reason for that is because the acid turns you into your surroundings and he was in the snow. He goes on a killing spree in search of the sheriff who sent him to death. He shoves axes down peoples throats, strangles them with x-mas lights, crushes their faces into x-mas ornaments, freeezes them, decapitates them with sleds and even impales them with icecles! Don't think it's all gore though. There is one line where a kid asks him what he is and he answers " World's most pissed off snow cone!" Pretty funny. There's a whole lot of hilarious one liners. Get it if u r into gore and comedy.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Oh, The Humanity!
Review: "Jack Frost" made quite the impression on vulnerable movie mavens at the local video store with its holographic 3-D cover that caught the eye of lost souls hoping to rent a gem for the evening's viewing. The cover attracted so much attention that the resulting glut of video rentals of this turkey inspired a sequel that also went straight to video. Fortunately, I resisted the urge to rent this film for years until I read a few reviews about the utter terribleness of "Jack Frost" and I decided that anything worthy of such scathing comments must find its way to my DVD player. I make it a point to watch bad movies on a regular basis, not because I feel any inherent need to punish myself for some dark secret in my past, but because I always hope to stumble over a rarity: a movie so bad, so far beyond redemption in any way, shape, or form, that it is actually good. In other words, I fervently hoped that "Jack Frost" would be another "Troll 2." Alas, it wasn't meant to be. "Jack Frost" is bad in nearly every conceivable way. It's so bad that it fulfills the Platonic idea of forms, for if every tree we see around us must come from a perfect tree beyond our perceptions, then "Jack Frost" is the perfect form for every bad movie we've ever seen in our realm of existence. "Jack Frost" is to horror films what "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon" is to the shark film genre.

The opening sequence of "Jack Frost" pans over a Christmas tree with lots of lights and ornaments embossed with the names of the cast and crew of the film. A voiceover tells the background of Jack Frost, a vicious serial killer who murdered over thirty people before finally falling into the hands of the law. This introduction is cheesy and sets the tone for the disaster that soon follows: Jack Frost is on his way to the execution chamber, chained in the back of transport van heading down the highway in the middle of a severe snowstorm. An accidental collision with a truck carrying some type of gene altering acid permanently alters Jackie, turning him into (get ready for it) a huge, fake looking snowman. Oh, yeah. Of course, Jack isn't merely content with turning into a genetic nightmare; he tracks down the sheriff who caught him in order to follow through on his threat to get his jailer and his family. To carry out his horrible revenge, Jack heads to the town of Snomonton and into history as the first killer who melts, has a carrot for a nose, and a sudden sense of humor about his snowy condition. The whole town suffers the wrath of a snowy Jackie.

Killings include a decapitation by sled, icicle bullets, strangulation with Christmas tree lights and ornament shards, and an axe used in an unusual way. What's even more fun to watch than these mild murder scenes is the townspeople of Snomonton. You have the town wench played by Shannon Elizabeth of "American Pie" fame, two thick headed deputies, the guy who owns the local hardware store, an FBI guy named Manners who couldn't act if his life depended on it, and the good guy sheriff and his family. Special mention goes to the kid who plays the sheriff's son. This twerp is so annoying he had me ready to go on a rampage seconds after he appeared on the screen. He's always making weird cookies or some such thing, and even though I refuse to spoil anything for you about the end of the film, just prepare yourself for the part about antifreeze as a cooking ingredient so you won't be permanently struck dumb.

I could go on for eons about the shoddy production values, brain dead script, unfunny jokes, and pedestrian pacing in "Jack Frost." I won't, though, because to do so would require more thought than I am willing to expend on this clunker. Here's one problem that deserves special mention:

For a movie about a killer snowman, there isn't much snow lying around. Case in point: the opening scene where Jack undergoes his metamorphosis takes place in the middle of a blizzard, but when the trucks crash the snow suddenly stops and it's obvious there isn't much snow on the side of the road. The town where most of the film takes place is even worse. Many shots show trees with leaves on them, buildings with no snow on the roofs, and roads lacking ice pack. And this is supposed to be in the mountains during winter? Yeah, right. At some point in the film, a guy from the research laboratory mumbles something about Jack being able to melt and re-form at will so maybe this explains why a snowman never seems to melt. What it doesn't explain is why we never see anyone's breath during the outside shots. I think I saw one character's breath in one scene, but that was it. Noticing errors such as these will help you survive this banal experience.

I think "Jack Frost" would have been funnier if the acting was worse. With the exception of the guy who played Agent Manners, most of the actors did an admirable job with a terrible script. As it stands now, "Jack Frost" falls into the category of unwatchable pap. As I mentioned above, there is a sequel and I will probably watch that too. Why? Because it's my job to watch the worst of the worst and report my findings to the general public. If I can save one person an hour and a half of pure agony, I am willing to toss myself on the grenade of bad movies. Only those willing to expose themselves to endless pain should watch "Jack Frost."

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: One of the greatest Black Comedies Ever.
Review: I can't believe some of these negative reviews are bashing it becasue it wasn't scary. Come on! It's a killer snowman, what did you expect. Of course it's gonna be a cheeze fest. Honestly. Anyway this movie is so bad it's good very funny, and gory. A must see if you're ineed of a good laugh.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: gorey fun witha twist
Review: pretty freaky and fun movie with killer snowman saying some killer sayings and killing people in harsh ways

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: a cheesy gorefest
Review: i love this movie i watch it every year at christmas this movies chessy but cool ilove the snowmans sayings dont eat yellow snow ...this movies a great gory funny ride just sit down and watch RATED R FOR=CHESSY HORROR VIOLINCE GORE LANGUAGE BRIEF NUDITY.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Don't Eat the Yellow Snow
Review: My Grandpa invented lenticular designs back in the 1930's.

For those of you that don't know, lenticular is the technology used to give "motion" to normally 2-D images. It's been used on everything from cereal boxes to VHS covers.

Ever since my Grandpa Len invented this wonderful technology, I've spent the majority of my adult life searching for anything and everything lenticular.

Since my lenticular collection consists of over 3,500 pieces, many of those pieces are not worthy of my attention. Fortunately, "Jack Frost" is not one of those unworthy pieces (the cover of the movie features an excellent lenticular design).

The movie starts out with one of the most creative opening-credits sequences that I've ever seen (until the recent "Panic Room"), but the fun doesn't stop there. Categorized as a horror movie, "Jack Frost" is really a delightful romp through a winter wonderland.

Granted, Jack Frost is a killer snowman (actually, he's a reanimated serial killer), but it's all about the laughs. You can't help but let out a wonderful belly laugh when the maniacal Jack goes on one of his killing sprees. I mean, snowmen don't even have arms... how hard can it be to escape his grasp? Ha!

Do me a favor and forget about the inconsistencies in this movie. Forget about the silly premise of a killer snowman. Forget about the weak writing and atrocious acting. Enjoy "Jack Frost" for what it is, a splendid little movie about a menacing snowman... and laugh, laugh, laugh. Ha! Ha!

I can only hope that Grandpa Len is looking down on me right now. Smiling.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Wise Cracking Killer Snowman
Review: This is one of the most funniest and creative movies i've everseen,and I watch alot of movies,Jack Frost was a killer,but captured by sheriff Sam,but lucky for Jack on the night he gets turned into "deep fried Jack" police van is crashed Jack gets hit with chemicals and melts into the snow and transforms into a killer snowman on the hunt to kill Sam,his family,and friends I loved this movie if you like movies with comedy horror this ones for you.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Another stupid movie.
Review: The beginning of the movie is funny afterwards it's rather stupid and laughable. The monster on the cover is too pokey to be scary. It couldn't scare a two year old. I'm sure the family version will.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Horrorible
Review: This movie is just totally dumb, it's about a serial killer who dies but comes back as a Snowman. Anyway it's [bad], the most watchable scene is also it's worse. It involves Shannon Elizabeth "American Pie, 13 Ghosts" being [abused] by the Snowman in the shower with a carrot. Also a scene where a kid's head is cut of with an ice skate. I found the movie more disturbing than funny or scary for obvious reasons. I wouldn't even recommend it as one of those movies that you and your friends poke fun at when you're drunk.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: don't let this idiotic cover fool you!
Review: I rented this movie expecting it to be really frightening and clever. I even waited for the perfect night to rent it and be ready for a thrill. Apparently, a snowman is able to turn from water to ice and shoot sharp ice from his hand. If you watch the bathtub scene in slow motion ,you will see that the girl is screaming and smiling at the same time. Again with another scene if Jack is to grab somebody with his hand, you'll see that his snow thumb is not latched onto the guy's foot. It's like a puppet , a very stupid one too. The special effects for this is terrible, along with the story and plot. Don't waste your money. I'm telling you the truth about this film.


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