Valentine

Rating:
Summary: Mindless Slasher Fluff
Review: "Valentine" was pretty much the last film made during the "Scream" revived, self-aware, slasher genre era, and also a movie that single-handedly put the nail in the coffin of the four year trend. Too bad though, as it is much better than other "Scream" rip-offs like "I (Still) Know What You Did Last Summer" and "Urban Legend." Australian director Jamie Blanks (who also directed the latter movie) has a little more style and flare than the average slasher director, and he injects his film with enough subtle nods to more inspirational and original pieces, without being over-the-top ironic (something that was consistent in the genre). "Valentine" isn't rocket science. I knew who the killer was before the movie was over, and all of the red-herrings presented were too phony and obvious to fall for. The story revolves around a group of young, successful and bratty women, childhood friends who find themselves being haunted by an event that took place at a junior high dance years ago. Seems there was this nerdy kid that kept hitting on all of the girls, and in turn was viciously humiliated in front of the whole school (all this in the opening sequence, one of the best parts). This angle of the story was probably the most interesting, and oddly enough, it wasn't explored much. Oh well, seems the little nerd grew up to be a bit psycho and is now stalking each of the girls with disgusting, and clever, valentine gifts (these gifts often include bodily harm). It's basically another who-dunnit, but at least this time, the killer doesn't spill the beans for fifteen minutes about why and how he did it. The cast is so-so. I always like watching Denise Richards, especially after "Wild Things" and she is spot-on in her performance as the leader of the group (but can you say typecasting?). Katherine Heigl ("Bride Of Chucky") is also nice to look at, but is dispatched of very quickly, leaving us with a few no-name actresses and David Boreanaz, who I don't like in ANYTHING. Blanks' directing style makes the film very nice to look at, with a soundtrack full of obvious hard-rock and heavy metal tunes from the likes of Rob Zombie and Marilyn Manson. The murders are also pretty interesting and there are actually a few well-done moments of suspense. I would label this movie as competent. It's not perfect, and I don't tend to watch it much, but it entertains. Among the DVD features are a commentary by Blanks and a video for Orgy's "Opticon" -- which would be interesting if it weren't just clips from the movie. Bottom line: it's better than most of the movies that it fits in with, and certainly better than Blanks' own "Urban Legends." Worth watching.

Rating:
Summary: "Revenge is sweeter than candy"
Review: Jamie Blanks' 2001 "Valentine" is a recycle bin of a ridiculous psycho-killer plot seemingly pasted together from several previously made films, predictable "boo!" moments, character stereotypes, bad jokes, stale dialogue, and unoriginal killings. Not that I actually expected much from this movie, coming from Blanks, responsible for 1998's "Urban Legend" and starring a bevy of Hollywood C-listers including the dude from "Angel", David Boreanaz, Denise Richards, Marley Shelton, Jessica Capshaw, and Katharine Heigl.

In this horrendously bad faux-horror flick, we start off at Valentine's Day 1988 when a bunch of nasty girls make a poor geeky kid, Jeremy's, time at the V-Day school dance absolute hell for him through rejection and embarrassment. Fast-forward to 2001 when the girls from the dance are now being tormented by a psycho-killer (obviously Jeremy) and slowly killed off in successively dumber and unoriginal ways. The execution of this stupid-yet-still-had-some-potential-to-be-scary-script is simply awful.

Where is the suspense? Where is the empathy (or at least interest) for any of the characters? Where is just an ounce of intelligence, people?! I know that this is a slasher flick and you're supposed to suspend disbelief to a certain extent, but this pathetic plot soon degenerates into an utterly ridiculous mess that will insult your intelligence if you are anywhere over the age of ten.

Rating:
Summary: Good Movie
Review: This is a good horror movie its good movie, If you want scare you got it here


Rating:
Summary: Really BAD
Review: This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life. I have rarely seen such poor writing. The "twist" at the end was stupid and tried to be confusing on purpose. It wasn't. It was just stupid. If you took out all the scenes that were not needed to advance the story, you would have a 15 minute film. Without David and Denise, I doubt this film would have ever been seen in theatres. It isn't scary at all. It's just BAD. For proof, listen to the director commentary. Most of his comments are about everything he did wrong and why certain scenes do not make any sense at all. That's right - the director of the film explains why his own movie is bad. Don't believe me? Listen to it. Oh, wait - Don't. Peel some wallpaper instead. It is much more fun.

Rating:
Summary: You Can't Get By On Looks Alone
Review: The idea of a crazed psycho killer in a mask, slashing young folks, out for revenge is nothing new for the genre. Classics like Halloween, Friday The 13th and Scream helped to raise the bar for others to follow. Valentine, sadly misses the standards set by those benchmarks.

Years ago, Paige (Denise Richards), Kate (Marley Shelton), Lily (Jessica Caulfield), Shelly (Katherine Hegil), and Dorothy (Jessica Capshaw) indirectly caused a group of boys in junior high to brutally beat up the class nerd. After years of intense therapy and several mental institution visits, he has come back to his deadly revenge on those who did this to him. Kate's boyfriend Adam (David Boreanaz--TV's Angel) tries to get to the bottom of who's behind the carnage.

Why it took 4 writers to adapt Tom Savage's novel (never read it) is beyond me. From my experience, the more writers on a horror film, often is the first sign of trouble--though there are exceptions, this is not one of them. The script is filled with one cliche after another. Stylistically, director Jamie Blanks, also responsible for Urban Legend, has made a good looking movie, the cast hits their mark, but it's not enough. The mystery of the killer's identity is not a surprise if you are paying attention--and not sleep walking by the third act.

Despite my harsh words about the script, I did enjoy the audio commentary from Blanks, whose enthusiasm woke me up a bit. I liked hearing about the how's and why's just the same. The cast and crew sit down for a few fluffy pre release interviews that all say something like--"This is the best movie I have ever done...I'm so glad I worked on it" The music video for Orgy's song Opticon, from the film's soundtrack, and a few cast-N-filmmaker profiles fill out the DVD extras.

Valentine is great to look at and all but as a horror/thriller, it will leave a sour taste in your mouth.



Rating:
Summary: Be Mine
Review: I'm not exactly sure what to think of this one. It's the standard slasher movie where young kids are cruel to a peer and years later, he takes revenge on all of them. This movie also reminds me a lot of the superior film 'Terror Train'.

Years ago in junior high, a group of kids terrorize a geek with severe nosebleeds when he asks one girl to dance. Of course, in these movies anyone who's rejected by a girl once immediately becomes a serial killer. Years later, the group of girls and their friends start to receive threatening valentines, and one by one, get offed in creative ways by a psycho in a cupid mask.

The mask is effective. It was very creepy, and there was also the nice touch of the killer having nosebleeds after every kill...though now that I type that, it doesn't make sense. Eh. It was a nice touch nevertheless. The cast is halfway decent, David Boreanaz interestingly displays the most charisma of the bunch, while alternately being his usual dull self. Denise Richards on the other hand, bugs the crap out of me in anything she's in.

Though the cast is competent and the typical slasher conventions are displayed, this still comes up lacking in the end. It's ok for a watch or two, but not a keeper. Get 'Terror Train' instead.

Rating:
Summary: There was Capshaw's Bf There was that other guy why david?
Review: I have to say, wasn't Angelus Evil enough that they have to give away Adam too?
I am really Angry with the writer!
all though i liked the way the killer killed and the Sexyness of the party, and the Dromatic killing scene of Paige (DANISE RICHARDS) and especially the killing scene of that girl, you know arrows, Falling into the garbage box, and i really liked the killing scene of shelly, it was really scary and looked painful, one slash and kill finished.
Anyway, i didn't like this insult of Boreanaz, so i can't give it more than 2 stars.


Rating:
Summary: Doesn't do justice to Tom Savage's excellent novel
Review: I waited in anticipation for the release of this movie several months ago, as I am a fan of all novels by Tom Savage. However - as is normally the case with book-to-movie versions of tales - I was disappointed.

Although I must say that, while this movie certainly doesn't do the excellent (non-slasher) novel any justice, it's not too bad.

Best described as the "Scream" trilogy (movies) meets "Sex and the City" (TV) . . . an admirable attempt to rise above such movies as "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and worse!

The twist ending (while not exactly surprising) is good, as is the style of the movie - a sort of merging of typical romantic drama with slasher horror.

Throughout the movie, you are never quite sure whether the main character is Denise Richards or Marley Shelton, and the two actresses seem to be competing throughout. Although it does become clear as the movie reaches its finale.

For the most part, the death scenes are quite good, dark and containing a punch! The script is quite witty in places, and the pace and performances and direction (by the director of "Urban Legend") are reasonably decent, too.

All in all, not a bad movie - best viewed as bit of easily forgotten fun-n-fright.


Rating:
Summary: Excellent Horror; One of 2001's Top Movies Overall
Review: Much more in the vein of classic horror series like "Friday The 13th" and "Halloween" than the late-90s "Scream"/"Urban Legend" school of horror films it seems to be grouped with, "Valentine" was reportedly intended to be the first chapter in an ongoing franchise of its own. Although there have been no signs of a sequel yet, the window of opportunity remains open, and with the well-deserved global success of "Freddy Vs. Jason", the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and so on, there's still hope they'll get to do at least 1 more of the planned entries.

Opening up with one of the most disturbing and uncomfortable beginnings big studio horror movies had seen in years, "Valentine" promises to cut like a razor and not a butter knife, and doesn't disappoint. Managing to transfer over all the best elements of the late 90s 'hip' horror subgenre with none of the shortcomings into a scarier, more interesting (in my opinion), less sterilised (and non-self-parodying) package, it boasts A+ level production values, a uniformly talented cast, original horror scenes and a menacing atmosphere. Distinguishes itself from most horror 'revenge' movies in that the initial mutilation of the character who'll return years down the road (to plague both the guilty and the innocent) is no accident. Without a doubt, Valentine is one of the best slasher horrors of the last decade.