Rating: 
Summary: FANTASTIC GOREFEST!
Review: This movie has the makings of a classic horror film. ROB ZOMBIE is a talented individual. Any one who can create a masterpiece withou using all the computer generated [junk] needs to be recognized as a modern day horror film geneous.
Rating: 
Summary: Dude! DUDE!!
Review: If yooz only see one movie this year, not only are you very stupid for seeing only one movie in an entire year, but you have to see 'House of 1000 Corpses'.
I, being an absent-minded and mildly creepy ska punk, am not a big fan of Robert Zombie's work, but I could hardly wait to squeeze the juice out of this twisted little sponge of hatred. And when that spongey juice of entertainment fell upon my depraved tongue of tonguey goodness, I was engulfed in a disturbingly hilarious (or hilariously disturbing) motion picture event. To sum it up, I liked it.
Basically, it's 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. Bumbling slacker kids have their car break down and seek help in a rickety lone house with a bunch of homicidally eccentric family people thing dudes. Now, take 'TCM', multiply it by 10, add some death metal and trademark Rob Zombie humor, and yooz got 'House of 1000 Corpses'.
First of all, the magnificent cast surprised me greatly. Karen Black, for one, is among one of the weird-... family members. And Matthew McGrory, known for his wonderful work in 'Bubble Boy' and 'The Dead Hate The Living', plays the 7 foot tall 'Tiny', a heart-warming performance that should earn that man an Oscar some day, or even an Emmy, a Tony, and maybe even a Sergio. And Rob Zombie's brilliant 1 1/2 second cameo in the opening credits warmed my soul from my spleen to my bowels.
And speaking of bowels, this movie is perfectly gory. Sure, it could have been gorier, but that's just MY opinion, and I'm taking medications to control those opinons. There's also (not enough) nudity. I mean, sure, a couple of breast shots are required, but is there any gratuitous nudity? No. Luckily there's gore. And more gore. And a little less gore. To be honest, it ALMOST satisfied my gore quota, in a way that 'Dead Alive' and 'Evil Dead' almost did.
In fact, 'House Of 1000 Corpses' is a lot like 'Evil Dead', only it's more like 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. And 'Ho1kC' has plenty of humor, but not too much. It's more like 'Evil Dead 2' instead of 'Army of Darkness'. A good movie has to have humor (preferably macabre humor) and 'Ho1kC' does just that.
The soundtrack is just as good, I think. I have never cared for the death metal sounds of Robert Zombie or his band, Caucasian Zombie, so I was completely lost on the soundtrack, save for one old Ramones song. Then again, if it's not ska, I don't listen to it, and I don't think ska would fit into this movie. Or maybe...
The acting isn't half bad, either. Not what you'd expect from a horror movie. I haven't seen acting this okay since Bruce Campbell, Crispin Glover, Julian Sands, Robert Patrick, Ray Liotta, David Caruso, and Stanley Tucci were in that film together. Mmm...actors.
Overall, the movie is sickeningly fun. I love saying sickeningly. I like the 'ick' sound, like 'wicked'. Ooh! It was wickedly sickening...ly. If yooz are not easily offended, then I highly suggest you go see the 2003 masterpiece that is...'House of 1000 Corpses'. (Yes, that is the title, despite the commercials calling it 'House of A Thousand Corpses'. Jackass. I wonder if the sequel will be called 'House of 2000 Corpses', or 'Condo of 1000 Corpses', or maybe...'Condo of 2000 Corpses'. Cool...)Luv,
Muttz! And always remember...
"The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'!"
-Scary Clown Man.
Rating: 
Summary: Could Have Been Better
Review: I just saw the movie and am not thrilled. The first half was okay but towards the end it struggled. Rob Zombie tried to hard to go beyond the norm and gross the [...]out of you. It just became stupid. The very end though was a cool twist. Not your typical plot or characters. WARNING: Graphic torture and satanic rituals. NOT FOR EVERYONE!
Rating:
Summary: Best Movie Ever
Review: This movie, written and directed by Rob Zombie, is the best movie I have ever seen. I can't believe it will only be in theaters for a limited time. Eventhough it is only Wednesday the 7th of April now and it opens on the 11th I d/led it and watched it. This movie is a must see!
Rating:
Summary: Zombie Masterpiece
Review: I have waited nearly 2 years to finally see this movie, and the wait was well worth it. Rob Zombie is a genius, not only in the realm of music, but in the the cinematic realm as well. His decision not to stray from his original version makes this one to see. Who knows what would have happened if he had given in to the critics previously, and cut out certain parts. This is not just a movie, but a work of art in the twisted world of Zombie. From start to finish, it keeps you wanting to see more death. As I said previously, it's definately one to see...at least once. I know I will be adding this to my collection as soon as it is available on DVD.
Rating: 
Summary: Yes, I have seen this movie, in it's entirety.
Review: Rated 2.6
These characters are essentially the Munsters with bad intentions, going about their lives in a matter-of-fact way. No, I didn't find it 'scary', was it supposed to be? I enjoyed the opening with the face-painted clown-man telling his normal friend he didn't know why he hung out with that other .... The humor is actually fairly subtle in an 'Office Space' way, that surprised me, but there isn't too much of it, it's more moody. It's going to leave a lot of people feeling left out because it's a big inside joke, but others will have found a film they've been looking for for years. I adored the cartoonish, imaginative visuals and thought it suited the movie. If nothing else, this will give you a laugh and some exaggerated visuals you won't forget quickly. It's cool just to know it wasn't animated. You'll probably dream about it, too. R. Zombie also douses in a lot of older-looking footage and kiddy All Hallow's Eve gear. Unfortunately, none of that really makes a good movie. It had a surreal atmosphere of a night in a zombie town, it takes place in about '71, but black and white tv or movie footage could put it in just about any 90's decade. It takes elements from many horror films and puts them into one film, for someone who wasn't raised around 'actual' horror films of the seventies or with much access to them, it was awesome to see. Scenes are practically ripped out of EC comics. Sheri Moon's character had a very funny lisping voice, all of the characters would make great McFarlane toys. Will older horror fans need this? Probably not, but it might be nice to see a really stylish, fun horror movie on the big screen, over 'I know what you did last decade' or 'Scream 3' on a brightly-lighted movie set, hopefully, it will open the gates for more interesting horror from future directors. I hope they used a neon, fun show poster for the ads of this film, because anything too dark would be unsuitable, it's a wild little spookshow, zombieland funhouse flick. Popcorn all the way. The edited version...feels edited. It has a sense of missing scenes and there's hardly any violence at all, I don't think I even saw blood! The new standard of horror? One thing I disliked was the close-ups and quick-cuts for event scenes (I loved the small montages), which are fine in a music vid to pump you up or whathaveya but in a film, it's annoying. The first part of the story could have been more coherent, and I didn't always know which person was which. I like Rob Zombie's music but I found this mostly boring while the ending in THE PIT was SHEER BRILLIANCE(!) if Rob had the budget to maintain that quality throughout a film he could make some of the best, most memorable sequences ever, however that's no excuse for having some pretty dull parts in this film. I'm optimistic about future film projects he might have, if concentrated, he could definately pull off a good/great film. I loved the snippets of new songs introduced here, I think the soundtrack may be better than the movie... BTW, I waited for this to come out for 3 years! Also, it's kind of unfortunate that Zombie can get a movie made on just one song, while M.Manson can't get a movie based on an album (Holy Wood)!
Rating:
Summary: Destined To Be A Classic
Review: I watched this movie today actually (May 24th, 2003) for the first time. I downloaded it off the internet, I just couldn't wait another 2 weeks to see it. Now I have seen so many horror movies I can't even recall half of them, and not one has bothered me. But this one did. Its not so much scary as it is sadistic. The way that Rob set this movie up is amazing. It looks and feels a lot like "Texas Chainsaw", it has a similar (very loose but slightly similar) story line about a family in rural Texas (I think it was Texas) that kill people. But the biggest difference-"Chainsaw" was like Sesame Street compared to this. The film starts out on a very light note, with Chris Hardwick (The guy who hosted Singled Out on MTV way back) cracking jokes and making an @ss of himself. But at the half way point, when we see the first murder of the group of kids, the film takes a GIGANTIC turn for the dark. It doesn't even seem like the same movie. I don't think I've seen a movie before that jumps that quickly from one extreme to the next. The way that Rob has the kids tortured is, like I said before, nothing but sadistic. For his first time directing, I think Mr. Zombie did a terrific job. Now I doubt that he'll get to make a sequel, he either won't be aloud or he won't want to due to censorship. As for the actors, Bill Mosley (of Texas Chainsaw 2 fame) plays the most evil character I have ever seen. The way he speaks and acts is frightening. Sherri Moon (Zombie's girlfriend) plays the childish and spooky (for lack of a better word) Baby. She did a real good job. Karen Black plays the Mother of the house. She only kills one person but her character is memorable none the less. As for the "hero's", the four innocent kids, the only one I recognized was Chris Hardwick who did an amazing job. The others were good but nothing to write home about. I suggest that all horror fans see this film, it WILL be a classic and its simply amazing for a horror film. This is the "Godfather" or "Jedi" of the horror genre-people will talk about it for years.
Rating: 
Summary: You Were Warned!!!
Review: I was able to of seen a special sneak screening of this long anticipated horror film. After I saw this film, I realized that everybody could wait even longer. How about forever?. That's how you are going to feel after seeing this film. Everything Rob Zombie promised that this film delivers is false. He says it will be gross and weird. He was right. However, it isn't scary, funny, or anything near original. Zombie says how he wanted to return to 'true' horror and make a film like that. Well, he basically took his favorite horror films and put them together in this hodgepodge mess. A lot of it is incoherent with poor, sloppy editing. There are things that aren't explained and don't have a point. The film is getting some reviews rolling in at movie sites, and the consensus is really bad. Even the fans who were waiting for this hated this film and have given it a review that's as bad as can be. This movie isn't what Zombie promised. It's stupid with a plot as thin as Nic Cage's hair. The acting is pitiful, and the dialogue sounds as if it were done by Ed Wood. It appears that Mr. Zoombie is delusional enough to think he actually did something. He should stick to making music since he doesn't know jack about how to make a movie. It is THAT bad. I warned you.
Rating:
Summary: FINALLY!!!!!!!
Review: After 2 and ahalf years of waiting and 2 stuidos later,we're finally gonna be able to see this werid-looking horror film.I've wanted to see this film since Oct 2000,when I saw the first trailer.This film is gonna rock!!!!
Rating:
Summary: This Movie Isn't For Everyone
Review: Set in the '70s, the day before and on Halloween, the film tells the tale of two couples on a road trip who lose their way looking for the legendary "Dr. Satan". They come upon the Firefly household one rainy night and meet its family members: Baby (Sheri Moon), Otis (Bill Moseley), and Mrs. Firefly (Karen Black). At first things are fine, then everything spirals dangerously out of control as the two couples are stalked and tortured by the Firefly family. I was a bit scared, at first, when I heard another rock star was going to take a stab at horror ("Strangeland" anyone?) but this is Rob Zombie we're talking about. The man knows horror and he proves it with every minute in "Corpses". He gives you horror straight up with a heaping bloody chaser in case you're not satisfied. He pulls no punches. He doesn't turn away and leave it to your imagination. He gives you the grisly details. Essentially, Rob's delivered a 1970's horror film. It's really no wonder why Universal and MGM execs are scared by this film. The film isn't a summer release for crying out loud. This is a Halloween-release flick that will scare the mess out of you. The new final release date was announced yesterday. The film will be released April 11, 2003. FINALLY!! In early interviews, Rob claimed that his intention was to make the audience "root for the bad guys". He's succeeded, but it sure makes you feel filthy afterwards. You can thank the collective performances of Sheri, Bill and Karen, for that. Moseley is always great. Don't expect a Chop Top retread from him this time around. For those who don't know...Bill played "Chop Top" in Texas Chainsaw massacre II. Bill's REALLY bad in this one. He's just plain evil. Karen Black turns in another great role as she flaunts her stuff. And Sheri Moon's just plain beautiful. Aside from being Zombie's girlfiend, Sheri has been in several of his videos. This is her first big screen role and she handles it perfectly. I don't think I can picture any other horror actress to play the sweet/demented Baby like she did. Rob set out to make a true, original and classic horror film for the fans and he's succeeded. It was loud, it was bloody and it was the best horror film I've seen in a long, long time. Immediately, Zombie sets the mood of the film opening with Sid Haig's foul-mouthed character, Captain Spaulding, and pals being robbed at gunpoint by two thugs in Spaulding's Museum of Monsters and Madmen. The criminals suddenly realize they're in deep when a man in an oversized mask bursts through the door and cuts the robbers down. At this point the audience cheered. The film immediately smash cuts to the opening credits, which is pure Zombie, as a deviant surgeon performs surgery on a patient (it does tie into the filf though.) This movie isn't for everyone and as bad as I don't want to say it, I don't even know if I will see the finished product. After 3 and a half years of waiting for this movie I have changed a lot and I have even higher morals than I did back then. Like I said before this movie isn't for everyone and now I think I'm one of them. The parts that I did see have been reworked and some scenes have been reshot and intensified with more gore and detail added to them. I can't even imagine what the final product will look like now.
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