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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

List Price: $19.96
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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Don't take this for just another dumb remake!
Review: THIS IS BY FAR THE SCARIEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN. IT FAR SURPASSES THE ORIGINAL. IT IS WAY BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL IN THE EFFECT OF BLOOD, ACTING, DIRECTING, AND SETUP. IT HAS A MORE CLEAN PICTURE THAN THE ORIGINAL AND HAS A SPOOKIER FEEL TO IT BECAUSE OF THE CONSTANT DARK AND JUMP FEAR. THE NEW FAMILY IS MUCH CREEPIER AND FUNNIER THAN THE OLD ONE. THANK GOD THEY GOT RID OF THE HITCHHIKER WHO WAS BY FAR THE MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER IN THE ORIGINAL. INTERESTING NEW CHARACTERS INCLUDE THE LITTLE BOY, SHERIFF HOYT, OLD MAN HEWITT, AND OF COURSE, A NEW AND REVAMPED LEATHERFACE. THE DIRECTING IN THIS MOVIE WAS SUPURB. THE CAMERA ANGLES WERE PERFECT AND THE SCRIPT WAS PERFECTLY WRITTEN. I WAS SITTING ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT 'TILL THE VERY END. VERY REALISTIC AND SUSPENSEFUL, IT WAS A JOURNEY THROUGH HORROR I WILL NEVER FORGET.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: WHOA!
Review: I have to say this was the scariest movie I have ever seen! I only give it 4 stars because I don't like being scared that I actully want to leave and not see the rest. But if you like SCARY...you'll love this one!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Everything the original wasn't.
Review: Let me just say I have no idea why the original is held in such high regard. It was truly one of the worst films I have ever seen. Nothing happened in it. There was ZERO suspense or excitement, the dialogue was barely audible and it felt like another half of it was missing. I hated it. I am so puzzled why so many people love that film.

But this was sooooooo much better. The characters actually HAD character this time. I got on their side, I got involved in the action (yes, there is action this time, and a LOT of it) and the acting was done well. Plus Jessica Biel is VERY hot.

So many new dimensions and situations occur is this remake that elevates to something a zillion times what the original was. Don't automatically think that because Michael Bay is the producer that it's going to be some kind of glossy and sanitised Hollywood production. It is still a very edgy and nervous film. It's rare that a Hollywood film manages to horrify and offend these days, so I'm very glad the new TCM went for a hard R-rating. The tone is so filthy and depraved that you will definitely need to shower soon afterwards. THAT'S how close you get to the action.

Even the character of Thomas 'Leatherface' Hewitt has a lot more to do this time. He's not quite Jason Voorhees but he's still an incredibly mean bad guy you'd NEVER want to mess with or come within 10 miles of. And in case you're wondering, he's played by the same dude who played Butterfinger, the big, dumb blonde guy from Hudson Hawk. Only this time he's not so cuddly.

Not since 8mm almost 5 years ago have I seen a film where the bad guys (there's more than one) are nothing but the blackest of all evil. R. Lee Ermey was terrific (as usual) as the disgusting Sheriff and any fans of him should only expect the most badass of performances.

Second to Freddy vs Jason (and tying with House of 1000 Corpses) this is THE horror movie of the year. Don't miss TCM. Miss the original, but see this now!!!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: THIS MOVIE WILL SCARE THE ... OUT OF YOU...
Review: Wow! I haven't been this scared watching a horror movie since I first saw the Exorcist many years ago. Michael Bay has crafted a truly terrifying and disturbingly realistic movie. I guarantee you -- the images in this film will stay with you for awhile. Be warned.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Not scary at all and at times boring...but it was "OK"
Review: When I went to go see Freddy Vs. Jason, I saw the preview for this. At first, I didn't know what the heck was goin on in the preview. Then, Texas Chainsaw Massacre flashes on the screen after the preview. I had mixed feelings at the time about this movie at first, wether or not it would be good to remake a classic and if it will be good to see. I guess it was ok to remake it, but it will never be as good as the original TCM. The original will be forever a horror classic in everyone's book. While the original focused on the madness and psychotic behavior of Leatherface and his cannibalistic family and relatives, this one more focuses on the police reports and stuff like that. I do have to admit, that it was much better seeing a crisp, clear picture, than seeing a rough, documentary picture, like the original had.

Anyways, the movie goes like this. Five teenagers are on vacation and they spot a hitchhiker. The hitchhiker is all messed up and ends up shooting herself in the back of the van. Then all heck breaks loose. The teenagers go to the Hewitt house, where the end of their lives is about to take place. The teenagers enter the house and get caught, and soon Leatherface unleashes his mighty chainsaw and slices and dices. The gore rate is pretty good, I do have to say. Theres one part that stands out the most to be gruesome and utterly painful, and I will not say. Just one hint though. "Meathook"

Although this is supposed to be a really scary movie, it's really not. There's maybe only part I jumped at, and thats about it. The first half hour and some parts after the killings are boring, and you tend to nod off a couple times, but your attention will be back in full gear when you hear the revving up of the chainsaw. The acting was actually good for a horror movie, which is very rare.

So, if your a TCM fan or if you like horror movies, then check this one out. It's not bad, but it's not good either. Also, this movie is very loosely based on the events of the serial killer Ed Gein. You could roll a small amount of TCM, Silence of the Lambs, and Psycho into one, and you'd see the true colors of Ed Gein.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Why bother?
Review: When I finished watching this movie that's the question that popped up in my mind. Why bother making this movie? THe original TCM is considered a cult classic, and it is indeed a good movie. The original looks like a nightmare on film, a quick video of violent and sadistic scenes. THe remake however is a polished film that supposedly gives more detail on the whole Texas chainsaw "crime". Well in my opinion this remake is a complete waste. It was a waste of time making it and its a waste of time watching it. THere is nothing about the remake to make it superior or even different than the original. THe only differences are negative, like in the original, Leatherface and his family actually interact. In this film there is no interaction between Leather and his kin, we don't know who is who and how they're related. THis movie is completely scare-free, there is not an original thought in this film. THey're trying to remake a 70s film by just having flashier chase scenes and more gory scenes. This whole remaking of classics is a bad idea. Don't bother making classics because you're already two strikes behind first Psyco now this.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: What a Waste!
Review: The more I think of it, the sicker I get. I can't believe they actually made this film and people actually thought it was better then the original. For starters, it really has nothing to do with the original, except for Leatherface being in it. What a pathetic excuse for a Leatherface as well! Give me Gunnar Hansen, Bill Johnson, or R.A. Mihailoff anyday, but please not this lame excuse for Leatherface! All this movie is is another one of those stupid teen flicks made for people who can't watch an original classic, because it doesn't have one of today's "pretty faces" in it. Believe me, none of the faces in here are pretty. I don't blame Gunnar Hansen for turning any role offered to him in this movie down! Don't waste your time on this one! I'm deeply sorry that I did!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: TCM
Review: Simply terrifying.... thats really all you have to say... Scariest film I have ever seen in my life next to Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs.... definently not a slasher movie... just a horror movie... a scary one!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Excelent
Review: I like this one better than the other one because the real footage and the gore but I like the way the movie flows in the first one like when she ran out and he caught her and stuck her on the hook but this is so good. I wonder if this is a ture sotry because Gunnar Hansen the person who played the very first leatherface said the director made this up and there was no texas massacre no chainsaw he based it on ed gein i still belive it happened because it was in the newspaper.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: They turned Sally into Rambo.
Review: In the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Sally was absolutley TERRIFIED, and revolted at the horrible things that were happening to her. She was scared to her very soul of Leatherface, and you could tell when he was chasing her with the chainsaw that she was living her worst nightmare. In the 2003 version, Jessica Biel is too modernized. She only runs from Leatherface because she is unarmed, and does not seem frightened of anything at all. She seems to want to kick everyone's butt, including Leatherface's, and save the day. I knew the filmakers of today would do this. It comes off as hokey. She looks great in her tight jeans and little tank top, but the film would have been vastly improved had they made her character AFRAID of this deranged family, and horrified that her boyfriend, and friends had been butchered. She seems only slightly agitated. At the end of the original, Sally loses her mind, whereas the Biel character seems hell bent on revenge, and making things right. The character of "Grandpa" was greatly missed, and Lee Emery simply played the D.I. of Full Metal Jacket, only in a police uniform. The film had great promise, but as soon as I saw that Biel was cast, I KNEW they'd make her into a version of Linda Hamilton's Sarah Connor character in T2. Too bad, they should have done the film the way it was shot in the 70's. The original is VASTLY superior.


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