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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

List Price: $19.96
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Rating: 5 stars
Summary: awesome remake of the original
Review: lets face it, most remakes aren't that great, but this one is awesome!!! leatherface looked scary and creepy as hell in this movie!! i already seen it twice in the theatre and i will definatly own this movie when it come out on dvd!

go see it and find out why it's #1 in the box office!!!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Great Remake
Review: I was very leary of this one as I am a Huge fan of the original. I'm very happy to say this one was great too. Not quite as good as the original but very close. I'll be honest too I might rate this one higher if I'd seen it first. There were some differences, namely a couple laughs in this one that didn't exist at all in the original. I'm glad to say they paid attention to detail and keeping the atmosphere close to the original. If you liked the original, by all means give this a chance.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: pretty good
Review: now before this movie came out i wasent sure how to make of it.
i thought they would just make texas chainsaw massacre out to be a joke BUT certain things in this version is a little better then the orignal.
one thing i was hoping for was that leatherface isnt as goofy as he was in the first one.
well in this one he's not as silly which is a plus!
i also liked how they explained why he wears the masks.
now remember...this movie IS NOT A TRUE STORY!
granted certain elements are based off of ed gein but other then that this movie isnt based off a true story.
now to you little children bashing people for not enjoying a movie just because you enjoy it need to..well..GROW UP!
people have the right to honest and give a movie a thumbs down just like you can give a thumbs up so quit acting like a bunch of 6 year olds and just give a review!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Unnecessary remake, but it's still a good one
Review: First off, let me say that I do believe this remake was unnecessary. I just do not get why studios must always remake a classic.
However, this remake is a great film. I was very surprised with Jessica Biel's performance. It didn't look fake, like I thought it would be. This film being filmed in chronological order probably helped.

I really loved how the beginning of the movie starts off with the "Sweet Home Alabama" song. This is one huge difference that the original film did not have. It made me feel for the characters having a good time, not having a clue...that later on they would be chopped up into little pieces. It also explained within the first minute of the movie: who the characters were, which was the annoying one, who were the party people, who was the smart one, etc. The original film just basically started off with Sally and her friends driving, not going into detail of who the characters were. I enjoyed this film for that. Overall rest of the film was good for a remake. The cop guy was hilarious, I loved it.

You pretty much know how the rest of the story goes, if you have seen the original. They just took the same storyline and changed the crazy family. If you are a horror movie fan, I would definitely recommend you to see this movie. It's worth it.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Look It's Harry Knowles Giant Head
Review: I'd like to know who the hell thinks Harry Knowles deserves a cameo in every freaking movie on earth. I think the guy hangs out in front of every major studio and since key players can't get their Ferrari's past his big fat ass they put him in the movies. I'm just damn tired of being engrossed in a decent movie only to be pulled out of the moment by having to look at that jackasses face. Wow, Harry Knowles we all know you've sold your soul to the devil and that's why your stupid website exists. But please talk about movies. Stop trying to get yourself into every movie.

With that being said I must say THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE is so close to a decent horror flick it's almost scary. It's got some terribly gripping moments, it looks really cool, and the setup is virtually flawless. It's two bad acts 2 and 3 needed a little tweaking.

It's 1973, and five friends (okay, actually 4 friends and a hitchhiker) are on a road trip to see Lynard Skynard in Dallas. In a one-horse town they pick up a hitchhiker they almost killed. She babbles incessantly about something horrible that has just happened to her and her family. Then she kills herself. Forcing these friends to face some of the wildest and sadistic people on earth in a struggle for their lives. Oh yeah there's also a chainsaw wielding maniac named Leatherface, but if you didn't already know that I suggest you rent TOBE HOOPER'S [Original] THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE.

First time Director Marcus Nispel begins the MASSACRE strong. Setting up characters rather than carnage. This makes the scenes of peril far more interesting. Rather than just introducing a bunch of sexy teenyboppers and hacking them apart, he actually creates human beings you feel sorry for.

For instance, there is a great sequence in which Erin (Jessica Biel, Summer Catch) is trying to rescue Andy (Mike Vogel, Grind) who's been impaled on a meat hook. She can't help so she's forced to do the unspeakable. Instead of playing this scene for sheer gore and shock, it's played for human emotion. It's such a strong sequence, and it works so well, you almost hate to come up with the things that don't work.

But there are plenty. The biggest problem is Leatherface (Andrew Bryniarski, Rollerball) and his clan. Their motivation is underplayed to the point that you struggle to understand why these people are so crazy. I always looked at the original Leatherface with a little sympathy. The same sympathy I have for Michael Meyer's. Sure they are both animals, but they each had this small shred of humanity, this vulnerability that is sorely missing from this film.

The other big problem is many of the action scenes consist of people standing around in the dark as the camera shakes incessantly and you hear loud sound effects. This kind of effect never works, and I'm so tired of moviemaker's that calls this kind of shoddy camerawork, action. I want to see what's happening, I don't want to guess. While MASSACRE is not the worst offender (I still think that honor goes to THE THIRTEENTH WARRIOR) I'm just so tired of that kind of bad action scene.

I couldn't finish this review without mentioning R. Lee Ermy (Full Metal Jacket), of course the guy has built a career out of playing the same character in every movie, but he's just so good at it. I love how he can be a big teddy bear at one moment and then tear your head off the next. I also liked his Sheriff. It's not multi-layered but it works. It's funny and smart all at the same time.

The film also looks good. Its muted colors are a decent throwback to the films of the seventies. It's also look really eerie, like your walking cornfield all by yourself, the film uses its look well. I hope it isn't stolen for every horror film from now on. But as it goes, the movie looks pretty cool.

So here's my consensus. Rent Tobe Hooper's THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, if you want to see our old pal Leatherface tear people apart for real. But, If you're a horror buff or in the mood for a moderate scare you can go see the new version. It pales in comparison to it's original, but hey it's a thousand times better than FREDDY VS. JASON or THE HOUSE OF A THOUSAND CORPSES.

***1/2 out of 5

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: better than expected
Review: this was way better than I expected because the remake in 1995 was sucky but this is a different version and the cast do great jobs. its visionary and not much gore but the story keeps on going with the suspense. they actually shot the movie where the massacres accurd. Jessica Biel is hot in tightpants. some parts drip the story but it always has one goodie up its sleeve

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: KICK ASS MOVIE
Review: Well, I saw it last night and I have to say, despite all the bad reviews, all I can say is, WHAT THE H*LL WAS UP WITH THE CRITICS!? This was possibly one of the scariest movies of 2003! It had so many jumps and scares, it could frighten almost anyone! I loved it! While watching it, I looked for mistakes that could possibly make the critics hate it, and I saw only a few MINOR ones, but other than those few, it was great! And Timothy ( the ?Killer? ) looked really creepy, and the acting was great except for that one chick, who was doin the guy at the begining, she was really obnoxious! But the rest was good! And some of the special effects were great, like in the bringing when they pick up the hitch hiker and she pulls the gun out of her vigina and blows her brains out and the camera follows through the hole, that was great, and just the mood of it was wierd and freaky! The music was really good too. And one of my favorite scenes was when the sheriff was in the van with the boy who was like the biggest nerd ever and his darn lip would not stop quivering! I was like, could someone please get this baby a bottle? Who hired him anyway?! You could have done better, but he gave it his best, as did most of the cast. And 1 part that made me cringe was when Timothy was taking the guy down the stairs ( the one who had half his leg cut off ) and the guy was scrapping his nails across the wall and his nails ripped off and AHH that was cring-worthy, and when he put him on the hook and took that handfull of salt and just slapped it on the leg OUCH! Some have said that this was a suckie re-make, well, you obviously don't know greatness when you see it so shut your dam* mouth and live with the fact that you go in the category with the fools who hated Freddy Vs. Jason( which was also a great movie ) and you just can't accept the fact you're too stupid to tell what's good and what's trash, so sit back, and keep your opinions to yourself! Ok, back to TCM! My personal favorite part was when Erin ( jessica ) took her almost dead nerd friend into the empty room and put him in a closet and she hid behind a wall. This was in the previews but it was still freaky! Ok, why the he** did the nerd friend have to open the closet door and make it squeek? He would have mever found him! Stupid, and another thing, when Erin was in the meat freezer, why didn't she close the door and trap Timothy inside it?? Stupid things the director should have thought about, but it was still a cleaver exciting move, one that I will be sure to own the hour it comes to DVD! Any one else who has good taste and half a brain will do the same! Also another note, for all you guys out there, wasn't it a sly way the director put in Erin's move when she walked by the camera twice looking for her boyfriend, the way she *bounced* was just perfect! But she's a beautiful woman and 7th Heaven was good when she was a kid, now she needs to find a jobs that does her acting and looks ( and BODY ) justice!!!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Very, very scary...
Review: There will never be another film like Tobe Hooper's original TCM - it was surprising, terrifying and truly evocative of madness and insanity. The 2003 remake is not in that class, but taken on its own terms it is a very effective and scary horror movie. I haven't seen such a scarily effective horror film in this genre in years...This is the real deal. The power of the chainsaw is palpable, Jessica Biel is fantastic and believable as the beleaguered heroine, and the film doesn't take cheap shots. Now, it is not the original, but it passes the test of good horror movies: it scares. I jumped out of my seat at least four times in this movie, and I am a long-time veteran of such pics, so I was pleasantly (and powerfully...) surprised.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Not the best movie I've seen....BY FAR
Review: This movie had soooo much potential. Why didn't they use some of it? I don't care about how much of it was based on true stories or events, or even where and when they supposedly happened, all I wanted was to be entertained, and I wasn't, not that much anyway. It was a painfully slow start, and didn't get much better. You can tell they didn't expect much, it only cost nine million to shoot. There were a few short minutes of good footage, but yards and yards of oh-hum. I really wanted this to be a good movie, but I found myself extremely disappointed walking out of the theater. It's like House of 1000 Corpses meets Leatherface, but worse. I thought House was a great cult flick, not for everyone but well done by Rob. This movie attempts to be the serious side of House but is in fact a cheap rip-off of what Rob Zombie so brilliantly put together. If you don't go expecting it to be the blockbuster of the year, you might be okay with it. But if you expect a really good, scary movie...something that delivers a great movie-going experience, sorry this movie will not deliver.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: I was pretty impress.
Review: I was expecting a bad rip off of the original, and I got instead a well-made horror movie that really is creepy. It's also a beautiful film to look at, and a very gory one. The characters were not as annoying that I thought that they could be, and old Leather face himself was actually really scary.

Worth a look.


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