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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

List Price: $19.96
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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Whatever
Review: A great example of a movie that could have been taken to a whole other level of horror and gore, given the time between the original and this version, but was just not good, literally. About the only think I heard when the movie was over was. "that wasn't scary".

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Good remake.
Review: While it does not have the dread of the original film, it does excel in the creepy department. The scares are fast but they are memorable, and the killings are as gruesome as they come. It is a good fright movie to take your date, and that really all that matters.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Amazing Movie!!!
Review: Having not seen the original, i can't compare it to that, but i will tell you this, this movie is fantastic.

First of all, i'd like to say that it really isn't all that gory. There are a few icky scenes, but 90% of the time the movie bases it's scares on actual suspense and horror, rather than buckets of blood. Assuming you already know the plot, (if you don't, you'll enjoy the movie more) i'll just go on to say that this movie leaves you with the feelling that you have just exited a terrifing haunted house--literally, i can promise you, that you can practically feel like your within a haunted house throught most of the movie, which makes this movie fantastic for halloween, or a VERY effective way to make an actual haunted house 400 times as scary. This movie is a must, don't miss it!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: So boring I kept checking my watch
Review: I had such high hopes for this film. But in the end it just ended up being a trailer that was far superior to the actual film. After a very slow start & introduction to some "hippie" kids we get treated to the house of horrors that Leatherface & family inhabit. There was never a question of if it would top the original TCM, we all knew that could never happen, but this film tried so hard to different yet capture the same feel thta it ended up being a mess. The gore was turned up to the nth degree, ironically the first film has little to no gore just imagination. This remake has none of that. The characters are a joke, unlike TCM 2 where that was intentional. In all it was just boring and not scary. want to see scary? Then check out films such as Black Christmas, The Exorcist or the original Nightmare on Elm Street...anything but this dreck!

And how can we not mention the one true crime of this movie... NO GRANDPA!

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: A Review in 2 Parts - Before and After
Review: Part 1

I wrote this part BEFORE I saw the movie. I've reviewed over 90 reviews written by other Amazon customers and was intrigued to see that they were typically very PRO or very CON ... not much in between. I wondered if the CON reviews were written by people who think a remake MUST remain tightly true to it's inspiration in nearly every detail or if they were written by people who's tastes merely differed from the bulk of the crowd. I LOVE horror movies and saddly I find that most of them these days don't scare me much or even make me feel tense. So I'm curious as to what the effect of THIS horror flick will be on me. I have seen the original TCM and loved it. But, I'm not one of those people who thinks a remake HAS to be true to the original in certain ways. I can enjoy a remake for what it is, apart from the original and I can dislike a remake because what it decided to do just didn't grab me, NOT because it wasn't just like the original.

So ... let's see what I think of the new TCM.

Part 2

OK ... now I've seen it. It was carefully crafted and I must admit to enjoying the prolonged sight of Jessica Biel in snug, low riders and a tank top ... but aside from that, the movie left me feeling rather bored.

I think the gore effects were very well done, but for some reason they didn't move me. I was never even left feeling tense, let alone scared. Plenty of people in the audience around me WERE scared ... but this movie never succeeded in getting me to suspend disbelief long enough to get pulled in.

Why not? Well, first off, I don't mind at all that they didn't stick to the original TCM vision all that closely. And it wasn't a lack of production values or poor effects. Those were both fine. I guess I'd have to lay the problem for me on writing and acting/directing. I was never convinced that what I was seeing were the actions of a group of people being exposed to one of the most bizarre and horrifying series of events one can imagine. They seemed like they were going through the motions ... not so much from an acting point of view ... but more from the standpoint of writing and directing.

The movie did do a good job of introducing us to and getting us to care a bit about the primary characters. But when things start to go wrong, I just found the reactions of the primaries consistently unconvincing. I got the feeling that the actors were doing a good job of conveying what the director wanted ... but it didnt' seem to me that the director had a good feel for how people would really respond emotionally to a situation this horrible. If this had been the sort of horror flick where all we see is mostly naked teens running around getting themselves killed by sheer stupidity, I'd remove this expectation because the director of a movie like that has let me know up front "this isn't supposed to make sense ... it's eye candy for the T/A and gore crowd". But TCM, I think, was trying to be a "serious" horror flick.

Someone walks into a room filled with rotting meat and who knows what in someone else's CREEP fest mansion ... (the smell alone would have kept ME out) and barely seems affected by it. Most of us walk and talk funny if we think there's a big spider in the well lit room we're about to go into in our own house ... how is it that this kid saunters into the kitchen from hell like he's been there 100 times before?

I've got a HUGE meat hook in my spine ... a) Why am I not dead? b) just how is it that I move around so MUCH for so LONG ... with this giant meat hook in my spine? c) how'd my buddy over there manage to survive his "meat hook in the spine" like it was just a flesh wound ... to walk away!!?

Someone just blew her brains out in my van ... and within 10 minutes, I've got the emotional reserves to make wisecracks? And not the kind of stupid things people say to cover up a state of sheer panic ... the sorts of things people say at parties when they're a bit uncomfortable with the crowd. It just didn't feel right.

Alien and Aliens started out with a much more outlandish premis and left me riveted to my seat. I nearly nodded off at some points in this movie, brought back to attention only by Jessica reappearing with her trademark bounce ... And what a bounce!

Don't get me wrong ... I think this woman can act ... and she clearl knows how to show off her body. I just don't think her director in this film cared as much about her acting as he did her bounce and her walk. It's not a sin to have both, you know. And she's got both ... so give us a chance to see them both!

I also noticed a continuation of the trend in horror flicks to slowly and brutally mutilate men on screen but have the girls die quickly or off camera. Apparently, in our culture, we've all agreed it would be very very wrong to show a woman suffering a horrible death on screen ... Just dreadful. Guys? It's fine if guys die in a slow, screaming blood bath of agony. Hey ... they're guys!??

No double standard there.

They went so far in this film to make our man's first female victim's death so "sanitized" that in the middle of a sweltering, humid, rainy Texas August night, she's killed wearing a down jacket ... so we see FEATHERS instead of blood when she's killed. Every sweaty, grimy, parched moment leading up to this one ... kind of left me wondering WHO'S bright idea a down jacket had been.

And I must commend Jessica's cleaners ... once splattered with someone else's blood ... she's QUITE clean moments later ...

Sorry guys ... but it's not a seriously intense horror flick if you play with kid gloves.

I think this film was trying to be too many things to too many audiences. People who like their horror remakes true to the original won't be happy with this one. People who like their horror flicks gory for both sexes will be disappointed. People who like horror flicks that have lots of gratuitous sexuality will be very disappointed. People who like to be REALLY scared by a horrof flick (unless they're EASILY scared) will find this one UN-scary. But, people who like Hollywood santized, well crafted (lighting, camera work, sets, costuming, etc.), "torn between reality and fantasy" style story telling will give it 5 stars. If you're the sort of person who's not quite sure what you like so you'll take whatever Hollywood dishes out ... you'll love this one.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Disgrace of the original
Review: In 1974 a movie was released that changed how people saw movies forever. It was the Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Denounced for excessive violence and legendary for making movie goers run from theaters in horror, it went on to become a cult classic. But was it a quality movie? Yes, it was. If you look at it now, you of course being an educated person, don't you notice the bizarre lack of bloodshed? In fact, very little blood is seen. It's what we don't see that scares us. What does Leatherface do with those kids after he slams his door? The movie left us hanging, left it to our own imagination, because THAT's terror.

In 2003 a film was released which attached itself like a parasite to the legend of a great film. It is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Seeking to modernize a film which needs no modernizing, a la Psycho remake, this horribly anti-terrifying movie falls flat almost before it starts. First, there is no build up, no suspense or tension. Just when the movie seems to be trying to create a sense of foreboding, it dashes it with a splash of bloody special effects. Why not let the wanderer in the beginning create a sense of terror? Instead she merely babbles crap which isn't particularly interesting, then bam!, plot device removed.
Following this awkward beginning, we go on a endless special effects spree, which seems less like an homage to the original than an outright rip off. This movie cares not about creating deep psychological terror, which makes the original such a classic, it merely wants to do dumb stuff like having somebody pop out unexpectedly, (I was almost expecting the cop to say, "Boo, did I scare you?" when he appears out of nowhere and scares the teens in their van), or have someone fake an attack, such as when one boy acts like his arm has been pulled into a rusty car. Why the hell would someone whose just seen someone blow their head off, and afraid for the disappearence of one of their friends, act like he's being attacked. Wouldn't one be ACTUALLY SCARED? No, of course not, because this movie isn't about scaring, it's about saying boo.
That's not terror. I'm amazed that educated people can still be surprised by these lame attempts at scaring. How many times in movies can a loud jump in the musical score scare people? Seriously, as I sat through this movie, I rolled my eyes each time they tried to make me jump. The original didn't try that, because it trusts the intelligence of it's audience.
The constant graphic violence lessened the horror a lot, as well. In the original, it's what we imagined Leatherface did to his victims that was truly terrifying. In this movie, we see what he does, and the image they give us of Leatherface sewing someone's skin while hunched over his sewing machine like some grandmother is more humourus than scary.
Acccept no substitutes: the original is a classic, this shame merely has the same name. (P.S., to anyone who thinks it's unfair to compare this film with a classic, I say the filmakers bring it on themselves when they remake a classic).

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: scariest, disturbing movie ever. a review by an 11 year old
Review: This is the best movie in the world!! my favorite is when the hitch hiker blows her brains out! Clea Duvall should have played Hitch hiker but lauren german did great. 5 STARS!!! HENRIETTA SAYS SOMETHING LIKE. NOTHING LIKE A NICE CUP OF TEA WONT SETTLE? (PLEASE WRITE ON THAT). PEPPER AND ERIN ARE SO HOT! THERE LIKE A HOT STOVE. eVERY ONE LOOK LIKE A 70s PERSON EXECPT FOR keMPER.

IF ANY ONE KNOWS WHAT HENRIETTA SAYS PLEASE PLEASE WRITE!!!

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Nothing new
Review: The only thing different here is a larger budget for blood and body parts. Probably more popular with a younger generation who wasn't around when the original came out. Also funny how many people are distorting the "facts" about the events in which the movie is based.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: waste of time and money
Review: Don't see this movie. This isn't scary at all, it's just disgusting. Not much to say about this movie, but I can say that I just wanted to leave after 30 minutes. This is the only movie in my life I felt like that.

Don't waste your time, this movie isn't worth money and especially for your weekend.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: possibly the most terrifying movie ive seen in years!!!!!!!!
Review: Well,i went to see the texas chainsaw massacre yesterday and here is what i have to say
It was a frightning,chilling,thrilling,action packed gore fest.This movie was truely incredble.Micheal bay realy out did himself in this bone crushing remake of the (1973)original.
10/10 Horror-This movie was truly frightning.I had to cover my eyes at some point because of all the gore,it was just to much for me at one point.I mean all the realism in it,it made me want to scream literally-not an exaggeration.
10/10 graphics/gore-WoW! the gore was all too real in this one.I felt the pain of leatherface's victims as one by one the were cut into pieces with a bloody chainsaw.I couldn't tell you how many times i had to cover my eyes or grap on to the edge of my seat.
10/10 acting-The acting was excellent as we recieve an excellent and realistic performance from each and every actor and actress.I felt sorry for the characters,at one point you get attatched to the characters and start to feel some compasion for them.
10/10 suspence-I have never had this much fun at the movies before.There were so many seat jumping moments,hair raising moments in this movie.My heart was pounding and pounding You start grabbing your seat so tightly.I just couldn't take any more i was going to have a heart attack.You can feel the chainsaw cutting through your flesh.
To sum it all up this movie gets a perfect score.I am a person thats very hard to scare and this movie did it for me.It scared th hell out of me.10 times better than the original!!So intense!!!So thrilling!!Go see it Today.This movie will truely give you the chills.


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