Kiss Me Monster

Rating:
Summary: "Eurotrash" on the spine of the case sums this one up.
Review: A couple of buxom babes traipse around the Carribean, tracking down a mad scientist. One of director Jess Franco's least successful efforts. For die-hard Francophiles only.

Rating:
Summary: Camp Classic? Call this one a Z-Movie (on a scale of A-Z)!
Review: Anyone with a super-8 camera (with bad dub added later), various luxurious sets, several tiny Euro-Convertibles, a few long-legged call-girls in mini-skirts, several cute college guys, and a few hours to blow, could have made this film, and probably done a better job.

The story appears to be made up as they go. A team of "stewardess-like" knock-outs in cool (skin-tight) outfits are on to some spy stuff, people get murdered wherever they show up, all of which is handled with total calm and matter-of-factness. Oops, a man just got stabbed as he's giving a clue (I wish I had received a clue, but no such luck). One more dead, better get out our costumes and into something else. The mad scientists's wife is dead! Oh my! What now? On with the mindless plot, and on, and on, and on.

This isn't "camp" it's TORTURE! Absolutely awful! Suddenly the films made by Edd Wood look like masterpieces. Give me "Refer Madness", "Pink Flamingos" or "Plan 9 From Outer Space". "Kiss Me Monster" all of a sudden has no equal as the absolute worst film ever made. I've seen a lot of movies, but this one needs to be pulverized and sent into Outer Space, it's THAT BAD!



Rating:
Summary: A Great B Flick
Review: I recently became a big fan of Jess (Jesus) Franco. This has to be his funniest movie. I have to admit though, I not sure what was meant to funny and what wasn't. The cheap production, the bad dubbing, and the over the top story, make this one very enjoyable movie. If Mike and the bots ever do another MST3K film, this is the movie they should be forced to watch. I would highly recommend this to any fan of B movies.

Rating:
Summary: A Great B Flick
Review: I recently became a big fan of Jess (Jesus) Franco. This has to be his funniest movie. I have to admit though, I not sure what was meant to funny and what wasn't. The cheap production, the bad dubbing, and the over the top story, make this one very enjoyable movie. If Mike and the bots ever do another MST3K film, this is the movie they should be forced to watch. I would highly recommend this to any fan of B movies.

Rating:
Summary: Inferior sequal to "Two Undercover Angels"
Review: I truly wish I could have rated this one higher, because after all, it's Jess Franco, one of my favorite directors. However, I must call a spade a spade: this film, a sequal to "Two Undercover Angels" (see my review), never truly sparks. A viewing of "Angels" is essential before digging into this one, and even then "Kiss Me Monster" so full of campy in-jokes that one quickly gets exasperated. Here, our two beloved "Red Lips" chicks travel to the tropics for an "adventure" (I use the term loosely). I caught myself glancing at the DVD timer to see how much time was left--and it's a short flick! As a Franco completist, I own it, but I cannot in good conscience recommend it to the public at large.

Rating:
Summary: Inferior sequal to "Two Undercover Angels"
Review: I truly wish I could have rated this one higher, because after all, it's Jess Franco, one of my favorite directors. However, I must call a spade a spade: this film, a sequal to "Two Undercover Angels" (see my review), never truly sparks. A viewing of "Angels" is essential before digging into this one, and even then "Kiss Me Monster" so full of campy in-jokes that one quickly gets exasperated. Here, our two beloved "Red Lips" chicks travel to the tropics for an "adventure" (I use the term loosely). I caught myself glancing at the DVD timer to see how much time was left--and it's a short flick! As a Franco completist, I own it, but I cannot in good conscience recommend it to the public at large.

Rating:
Summary: Weather dancing, singing, or killing, these women look good.
Review: Kiss me monster starts out fast. There are two sexy nightclub-singing detectives. They seduce and kill. Sometimes they just cripple. Jess Franco directed. He's made some strange and very sleasy films over a long career: Sadisterotica (with the same cast), Faceless, The Awful Dr. Orloff, The Diabolical Dr. Z, Night of the Blood Monster, And other films under false names. There is a mystery to be solved and lots of fast paced dialogue. It's confusing from the start, super stylish, and the girls are smart and sexy. The first time I saw it I was very confused, the second time I got it. It's like a European Russ Meyer movie without the pnumatic aspect.

Rating:
Summary: Franco a go-go
Review: More from Franco's Red Lips duo (see also "Sadisterotica") this a fast, furious and ridiculous romp through comic book colours, eccentric stock characters and a plot so simple it becomes almost incomprehensible. Franco himself cameos as a seedy contact who meets an untimely end in service of the plot. Not one of Jesus's more profound efforts to be sure but from the opening car chase (which runs under the credits and has nothing to do with the plot) to the finale, by way of badly dubbed songs to act as clues and show stopping night club scenes this is a joy. Franco obviously had a lot of fun with this one and it seeps out of the film and infects the viewer. A good introduction to the world of Jesus Franco for the uninitiated this is well worth the purchase price. Check out the opening credits and the (unmotivated) use of the "Blow Up" logo, which dances along in time with the jazzy score to see why franco is such a one-off.

Rating:
Summary: Kiss Me Monster
Review: This movie is so bad it is great fun to watch, IF you enjoy watching bad movies.

Rating:
Summary: The Red Lips girls visit a mad scientist's island
Review: When you get a chance, check out the resume of director Jesus Franco. Not only did he direct films under dozens of alias, most of this films come close to double figures on release titles. That makes "Kiss Me, Monster," his 1969 film also released as "Castle of Doom," almost something of a minor offering. This one features the return of the "Red Lips" detective team of Diana (Janine Reynaud) and Regina (Rosanna Yanni). Looking over some sheet music the girls pose as saxophonists (this explains the jazz soundtrack I think) to visit an island where a missing scientist has been doing diabolical experiments on young people as part of one of those secret cults that were so much in vogue after the Manson murders. Do not try to seriously follow the plot, because the director loves to take red herrings and slap the audience in the face if they try to take things too seriously. The dubbing is highly suspect as well, so take that into account when trying to follow the dialogue. Obviously we are supposed to pay attention to the skimpy outfits and enjoy the go-go dancing. The film only runs 75 minutes in the U.S. version, losing 12 minutes from the original Spanish version-the mind boggles at the possibilities of what has been lost. Certainly "Besame monstruo" is a minor effort from Franco in comparison to "Vampiros Lesbos" or "Succubus," which are more representative of his particular brand of Sixties Euro-Sleaze. This is a movie for frat parties where nobody cares what is playing on the tube.