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Anaconda

Anaconda

List Price: $14.94
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Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Anaconda- it stars a rapper. and goes downhill from there.
Review: Well, the best I can say about this movie is it's an entertaining B movie. And that's more than generous. The plot is stupid, the snake is horribly unrealistic, the acting is truly crap, and I won't even comment on the realism. I know it is a movie, and thus it does not have to be realistic, but they should do better than what they did. The snake was so unrealistic that it made the movie more of a sci-fi movie than an action show. In my opinion, that's bad. And How about the cast? J-lo and Ice Cube? What's this, the ghetto all star cast? Well, ghetto is right. This is a terrible show. However, it is entertaining for a while, so it's worth watching if it's on TV, or if you go to $... super tuesday at Mr. Movies. But other than that, there's no reason to watch this show.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Better or worse than you might think.
Review: Anaconda is a creature feature, plain and simple. It doesn't have any pretensions of being anything more than that and the movie has some true B-movie cliches. The special effects are mostly decent, the setting is beautiful and simultaneously dark and mysterious, and the acting is surprisingly not bad. It all makes for an entertaining 90 minutes, which moves at a pace so quickly it'll feel even shorter than that. Sure, it's dumb, but decent trashy B-movies are hard to come by, and that's what makes Anaconda worth a rental for fans of this genre.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Possibly the most ridiculous movie ever made
Review: When I walked out of the theater I said to an employee, "That just might be the most ridiculous movie I've ever seen." She smiled and said, "Yes, I know." Where to start? Well, for one thing I know that anacondas are not the size of full-grown trees. I also know they don't move as fast as bullwhips. Nor do they swallow people whole and then barf them back up. Apparently the only actor who knew this film was meant to be a joke is Jon Voight, who plays a deraned priest. He keeps winking at the camera, which is especially noticeable when our friendly snake gulps him down and then hacks him back up. He plops on his knees, looking kinda digested, and then winks at the camera before keeling over on his face. Worth a view, but you'll find out what the phrase "willing suspension of disbelief" really means.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: I am fed up with the killer animal movies
Review: Hey, producers... Stop making killer animal movies please. Snakes, sharks, piranhas, bees, killer insects etc. OR try to write a better scenario. Even jennifer lopez could not save the day!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: JUST PLAIN STUPID
Review: Okay if you want to see Jennifer Lopez earlier in her career wearing next to nothing this is your movie. If you like the idea of Ice Cube as a documentary filmmaker, well, this is your thing too. If you like seeing Jon Voight (weird actor and father of Angelina Jolie) playing evil, well, this is your thing. If you relish the idea of Eric Stoltz clinging to life in the hull of a ship while his exploration and anthropological filmmaking crew floats along the Amazon looking for an indigenous tribe of people only to encounter evil Jon Voight and a vicious, ridiculous Anaconda snake that looks bigger than a few football fields, well, here you go. There are things for everyone here. But not for me. This film is sooooooooo utterly stupid. One of the only things I have seen that was more inane was Breakdown which came out in the same time frame (early 1997).

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A good horror movie on a great DVD:
Review: I think this is a good movie. It's a horror movie, not an action/adventure film. Don't listen to the bad reviews. This movie is rated PG-13 for terror and violence brief strong language and some sensuality. It's about this crew played by lopez, ice cube, owen wilson, and more. They are in search for a tribe that they are filming. This guy who is bad and is played by voight, lures them into thinking that he is stranded and he gets onto their boat and takes over. He then leads then into something so terryifing that it will litterally take their breath away. I don't wanna tell anymore. See it for yourself. This DVD has some great features. It also has a cool keep case and crisp sound and picture. It also has a widescreen and fullscreen version of the movie. Buy it.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: THEY DID!!! ONF THE WORST "MONSTER" MOVIES OF ALL TIMES!!
Review: THis is unbeliavable. Jon Voight being in it...Everything is so bad, so ludicrous, so lame and mean. THe acting, the sanke, the plot, the ending, the beginning, the special effects, the scenario. My God, it's awful!! It's so awful that, even resisting, you'll find a smile forming on your face, so funny it is. So, I'm giving the note the producers surely wwanted to take when they shoot this: one star. Congratulations !!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: It's not as bad as everyone says it is.
Review: There is no way that this is the best movie ever, nor is it the worst. I don't understand why so many people are down on this movie. It has a lot of action, and is pretty suspenseful, granted there are better movies out there, but this is a very good one in its own right.

A boat full of people are making a documentary about a lost South American tribe. The group happens upon a skitsofrenic who is oppsesed with capturing this gigantic snake. He eventually takes over the boat. This leads up until the very end: a showdown between Jenifer Lopez, a giant snake, and Jon Voight.

Don't let anyone fool you, this is a very good movie, not the best, but still very good. You would be well advised to give this movie the benifit of the doubt.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: I watched it for Kari Wuhrer
Review: Disastrous movie has only one saving grace and that's sexy actress Kari Wuhrer, who is absolutely stunningly beautiful. Unfortunately, she has to take a back seat to Jennifer Lopez.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: so bad that it's good!
Review: This movie falls into that sacred genre of movies that are unintentionally funny because the plots, acting, etc. are so ludicrous. Seeing that this awful movie managed to draw in some considerable star power (Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, and "Rushmore's" Owen Wilson, for starters), this really is a gem!

If you are a bad-movie lover, then you will appreciate many of this movie's elements. First off, the slithery villian. Of course, the REAL anaconda doesn't get larger than 25-30 feet, but this movie posits that they could grow to be 50-60 feet. The snake is just too much at times: It is huge, and yet it moves like a garter snake. Watching it run down people is hilarious. It also makes a noise similar to a lobster being boiled in a pot - that high-pitched "eeeeeeiiiiuuuuuwwwww" sound.

Then there are the numerous one-liners and witty remarks from the characters. It's a never-ending stream of bad (but highly quotable) dialogue. Hey, I like movies that are described as "Oscar-worthy" or "instant classic," but it's movies like Anaconda (the dessert, if you will) that makes life all the more fun.


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