Rating: 
Summary: Sophisticated fun! Not for Beavis and Butthead.
Review: Modern Vampires brought standing ovations at the Fantasia Film Festival this summer and was voted the "audience favorite" award out of ninety selections. It also had the largest number of walkouts. It isn't every day that a film grabs people so viscerally (and I just purchased my DVD, which has great behind-the-scenes commentary, etc.). Modern Vampires is definitely not for right-wing Puritans, left-wing Political Correct Police, or drooling Beavis and Butthead types who just want to see bosoms and gore - although this film has it's share of that. This movie is a marvelous satire on society, with something to offend almost everybody. It also has a touching love story between Casper Van Dien and Natasha Gregson Wagner with a Pygmalion twist, kind of a "My Fair Vampire" tale. The self rightous Van Helsing (mighty Rod Stieger) and his crew of streetwise gangbangers (lead by the amazing Gabriel Casseus) sends this well crafted plot into high gear. This has to be the most original vampire movie ever. My friends and I loved every second and will watch it many times.
Rating: 
Summary: Silly but not Modern
Review: There are no modern vampires in this story (the youngest having been turned 20 years previously) as most of them are very old. The story centers around an outlaw vampire (Van Dien), the young vampire, Dr. Van Helsing (Steiger) and The Count.The Count rules the vampire world and must approve all new vampires. The young vampire was not approved. The outlaw is back in town for a few days. Van Helsing out to tell everyone he is Van Helsing. Not only do we have some very silly-acting vampires (especially the one played by Drew Carry's Mr. Wick), but Steiger seems completely clueless about everything except killing vampires. To top it off, none of the actors seemed to have taken the time to learn how to speak while wearing fangs. The whole movie can be summed up in the opening scene where we see Van Diem using a fang to poke a hole in the end of his cigar. The real problem is that is feels almost like this was supposed to be a serious vampire film with some comedy accents but it comes off as silly and cheap. But, silly and cheap is still entertaining, so you will probably like this one.
Rating: 
Summary: good old fun
Review: comparing this to say Buffy is completely off kilter...so what if the Buffy movie failed..it was a cute movie.plus a comedy. now lets say the original Blade for example is a perfect form of vampire cinema..so is the 1931 Dracula with Bela Legousi..has vampire movies changed over the years...well lets see...theres Dracula1931..Nosferatu..Captain Kronos....Fright Night..Salem's Lot.....The Lost Boys..Near Dark...Bram Stoker's Dracula1990....Buffy The Vampire Slayer(tv show and movie)...Interview With The Vampire...The Vampire Journals...John Carpenters Vampires...Queen Of The Damned..Blade..Blade II....Shadow Of The Vampire....Angel(tv show)...From Dusk Till Dawn...Tsui Hark's Vampire Hunters..Dracula2000....Vampires:Los Muertos....Underworld2003...I mean the list goes on and on and on down the line people. well let's face it I am a vampire genre freak..this one is fun for its time, has colorful atmosphere and a good showcase for its cast..especially Casper Van Dien(Starship Troopers, Sleepy Hollow). others include Gabrieal Casseus(Black Dog, Fallen), Rod Steiger(Mars Attacks, End Of Days), Kim Cattral(Sex and the city, 15 Minutes), Udo Kier(Blade, End Of Days) and Natasha Gregson Wagner(Vampires:Los Muertos, Urban Legend) if your a vampire genre buff like I am..you wont be dissapointed
Rating:
Summary: Campy B-movie
Review: The first mistake this straight-to-video film made was being marketed as a Blade wannabe, which it isn't in anyway. No, Modern Vampires is a campy B-movie horror parody that doesn't pretend to be anything else. I'm surprised more people didn't understand that. The films stand out element, it must be said, is its politically incorrect edge which makes the PC herd squirm. After all, most of the Vampires are White Supremacist's, Van Helsing is a Nazi, the beautiful Natasha Gregson Wagner turns in a great Trailer Trash performance, and we get a Vampire hunting gang of Black ghetto filth. A straightforward telling of the story wouldn't do the film justice. Certainly there are action scenes and violence and gore galore. But those are almost side effects to the often silly and over-the-top situations that occur through-out the movie. If Modern Vampires has a kindred spirit, it would probably be Evil Dead II, though it lacks the innovative directorial techniques Sam Raimi pioneered. In the end, Modern Vampires can be appreciated by anyone who likes to laugh in the face of conformity.
Rating:
Summary: Such a beautiful film!!! I laughed and I cried all the time.
Review: Now THIS is what I call "production values"!!!!!! This doesn't look like a low-budget movie to me, I don't believe that it is one for even a second. It's PERFECT!!!! So funny! So sexy! This is the best vampire movie to ever come out of the USA. Fantastic Tragi-comedy at its most divine level of suspension of disbelief. I really believed that all the actors were vampires, they were so good, even though some of them had bigger fangs than others. The scary parts were really scary, and the funny parts were just hilarious, and when the film was over I felt completely and totally satisfied. My boyfriend was happy too because I was holding on so tight. He also loved the movie, though. Also there are a lot of sexy parts in the movie, but the people are so pretty and the movie is so well-written and perfectly directed and filmed that even when it's bloody, it's still really totally stylish and so much fun to watch (and such a turn-on too), which I guess must be hard to do because I see so little of it in other movies. I RECOMMEND THIS absolutely, you won't be disappointed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rating:
Summary: Sophisticated fun! Not for Beavis and Butthead.
Review: Modern Vampires brought standing ovations at the Fantasia Film Festival this summer and was voted the "audience favorite" award out of ninety selections. It also had the largest number of walkouts. It isn't every day that a film grabs people so viscerally (and I just purchased my DVD, which has great behind-the-scenes commentary, etc.). Modern Vampires is definitely not for right-wing Puritans, left-wing Political Correct Police, or drooling Beavis and Butthead types who just want to see bosoms and gore - although this film has it's share of that. This movie is a marvelous satire on society, with something to offend almost everybody. It also has a touching love story between Casper Van Dien and Natasha Gregson Wagner with a Pygmalion twist, kind of a "My Fair Vampire" tale. The self rightous Van Helsing (mighty Rod Stieger) and his crew of streetwise gangbangers (lead by the amazing Gabriel Casseus) sends this well crafted plot into high gear. This has to be the most original vampire movie ever. My friends and I loved every second and will watch it many times.
Rating:
Summary: Cheerfully awful!
Review: This movie is deliberately, carefully, precicely made to be absolutely awful. And because it's supposed to be so bad, because no effort is made to make it a dramatic great, it's perfect. It's got some great ideas - I LOVE the vampire hunters and the take on Van Helsing. This movie is, in it's way, seamless. I put off getting it for so long, despite Amazon popping it into my recommendations every other day for a year; and now that I have it I'm glad. It's evenly paced, cheerful, full of action, a little love story, some bloody murder, utterly horrible special effects and some synthisyzer-dubbed wildcat screams. You can't take it seriously, and you're not supposed to. But for all that, it's very well made.
Rating: 
Summary: This is how we pay respect to Bram Stoker?
Review: This worthless sack of filth that somehow was made into a film is all we have to pay tribute to Bram Stoker who basically started the entire meaning of vampire fiction? Well this is total disrespect and I can't believe people actually allow these kind of movies out. Honestly throughout this entire movie I wondered which one offended vampirism the worst- Queen of the Damned, another horrible vampire movie, or this one. But I will state here and now I would watch Queen of the Damned a million times than ever watch this film again, although I hate Damned dearly- but not as much as this film. Did this movie have depth whatsoever- any kind of human feeling? NO. Sure, that man that's supposed to be Van Helsing tries to make us cry about his own personal reasons of why he's killing vampires- but that does not save the movie whatsoever. I don't care if this was to be a movie that was only for laughs- this movie I couldn't laugh with because it was just ridiculous and once more like so many other horrid vampire movies made today- made vampires look like all they do is have sex and drink blood- without any sort of conscience. I hated this movie and never would recommend it to anyone.
Come on people, how about making occult movies that evolve around characters that actually are not all a bunch of moronic sex- manics with no souls? It would be nice for a change don't you think?
Rating:
Summary: Ugh, Eew, Ridiculous, Dull, As If
Review: There aren't enough words for me to say 'Do not buy this piece of cowhide. It doesn't even deserve the 1 star I gave, let alone a recommendation! I'd say more but this is a public post.
Rating:
Summary: Not what you would expect.....
Review: I was not expecting this satircal, campy spoof when I popped the DVD in the player...for the first few minutes I wasn't sure I wanted to watch...after about 10 minutes I was involuntarily drawn into this fun and silly movie--spoofing many of the vampire traditions, while at the same time creating believable characters about whom we come to care, however reluctantly. I found myself chuckling involuntarily at the one-liners ("Be still, my beating trousers!"), and at the absurd and hilarious plot turn in which some gangsters are recruited to help the German professor nail some vampires in Los Angeles. The gags, while unapologetically blatant and silly, are nonetheless funny. Have you ever seen a vampire brush his teeth, giving particular attention to his fangs? Or, perhaps you have seen a solitious eternally-pregnant vampire, doomed to never give birth, take a new young vampire under her wing, take her shopping and school her in the finer arts of vampirism and glamour? My favorite scene, I must admit, is near the end with the gangsters...I will not spoil the surprise. Keep a lookout, also, for Udo Kier--ever a vampire throughout his movie career--you would have seen him as the head vampire in Blade (1998) and as Count Dracula himself in Andy Warhol's Frankenstien (1974). This is original and funny...don't put it in the player if you are looking for suspense, thrills or horror. Put it in if you need a good laugh.
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