Bite Me

Rating:
Summary: Screaming Dead Okay, Bite Me fantastic!
Review: Okay so Brett Piper might have hit and miss with Screaming Dead but don't be too hard on the guy. He was just giving the middle finger to some jerk(s) that got under his skin. Be assured that Brett has a smile on his face now and Bite Me is a big reason why. The movie has tons of humor, some vintage stop-motion FX and a cast of some lovely ladies including Misty Mundae, Julian Wells, Erika Smith, and Caitlin Ross. Oh yeah there's also some comedy coming from the guys like Rob Monkiewicz, John P. Fedele and Michael R. Thomas.

There are some classic moments like Erika Smith doing the worst lap dance ever,Caitlin Ross falling asleep on the job to speak, Rob Monkiewicz being a total idiot, and John P. fedele being a crazy former DEA aganet. But the best is watching Misty go Rambo on those damn pests from hell.

For those who still want to keep faith in Brett Piper this would be a good place to start with. What could beat a movie with Drugs, Nudity, Comedy, and mutant bugs.






Rating:
Summary: Hilarious sleaze
Review: Films featuring Misty Mundae are usually a mixed bag. As much as I love to watch her radiating presence on screen, some of the films I've seen her in were excruciating to watch. I wasn't expecting this one to be very good especially given that the film was directed by Brett Piper, the man behind the awful "Screaming Dead". Well it seems Brett finally got it right this time, "Bite Me", while dirt cheap, is a hilarious romp of blood and sleaze.

The film revolves around a struggling strip joint in New Jersey where Misty and friends poll dance unhappily for the benefit of the club's dirtbag owner. The owner orders a full crate of pot but unbeknownst to him, inside of the crate are mutant fist-sized bugs who have eaten the stuff and soon start invading the strip joint.

First off with a low-budget movie like "Bite Me" about killer insects you have to know what to expect before diving in. The movie has a decidedly "Troma Trash" vibe to it and in many respects is laughably bad. The special effects consist of bugs running over freeze-frame pictures, the insects look like they were bought at the local dollar store and the strip club's patrons look like people that were plucked right off the street. But while the movie is dirt cheap it has a great sense of humor and ultimately that is what makes "Bite Me" an amusing film instead of a cinematic atrocity. The pole dancing scenes are hilarious. The bug effects are hilarious. The characters are one of a kind: You have sleazebags with "Sopranos" accents, a pole-dancer who keeps falling asleep on stage, an exterminator who doesn't like to hurt bugs and women baring it all without even a moment's thought.

Although there is no shortage of nudity, it is not the centerpiece of the film, unlike most of Misty's films. No, people are actually trying to make a horror film here. I actually recommend you watch "Bite Me" cause it's bound to make you laugh out loud a bunch of times, however I would only recommend you watch it if you are a person who has a tolerance for the types of trash films put out by studios such as Shock-O-Rama/Troma/Sub Rosa.

In keeping with the great Shock-O-Rama tradition, the DVD is packed with ultra-cool special features. There's a heavy metal video featuring Misty Mundae smearing blood all over her body, trailers for 7 other Shock-O-Rama features, a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the film as well as its world premiere at the Canadian National horror convention in Toronto and last but not least a 20-minute long Misty Mundae interview in which she candidly reveals many interesting things about herself.



Rating:
Summary: Bite Me Bites!
Review: I'm sorry to say this move let me down (just like Screaming Dead--and for the same reasons).

First of all, nothing beats "A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell"--granted, of course. Where Screaming Dead failed to have that element of fun and instead substitued boring dialogue without the horrific action. Both of Piper's films on the Shock-O-Rama label are missing the gritty,satiric "bite" that appeared in movies like Draniac and Arachnia.

Bite Me let me down because there was only ten minutes of real bug action, action that was limited on gore and was quick, much to quick to please. The conflict is solved within a blink of an eye. And Misty Mundae comes off as just plain stupid in this one, sorry--no offense, but keep out of horror movies, go back to Mummy Raider.

Basically, the humor is stupid, the bugs not mean enough, and the action over with before it even starts; an hour and ten minutes into it, I was wondering when we'd see some freaking action already!!! (again, just like Screaming Dead).

Sorry Piper, it just didn't entertain me.

Rating:
Summary: 3 and 1/2 stars
Review: Well after the very disappointing and very stupid `Screaming Death', I didn't have much hope for `Bite Me'. But hey c'mon a movie about mutants, marijuana, and strippers, how can they go wrong? Fortunately, this flick was alright.

Missy Mundae is her same sweet little self. She is one of the strippers and if you like seeing Missy in the buff, this flick will definitely not disappoint you. There's plenty of T&A to go around for everyone. Missy has a great nude scene in the shower right before her bug attack.

Well the spiders are funny. I was surprised how well done the special effects were considering the budgets these movies usually have. It was cool how they bloated with blood after biting their victims.

So all in all there's not too much of a story. The strip club owner makes a weed deal, there's bugs in the weed, and mayhem ensues.


Rating:
Summary: Bites the Big One
Review: You get what you deserve if you buy this movie. Even getting it used here on Amazon will end up costing you like $14. If your curiosity gets the better of you, I would suggest renting it before you buy.

The only redeeming thing about this movie is that it seems to revel in its own manure like a pig, and it doesn't take itself very seriously. This movie is so bad, it's almost good. If they had cut the budget a little more and made the bugs out of paper mache, they could have called this the "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" for the new millennium.

It's pathetic films like this that make people think of horror as low brow entertainment. Just like school in the summertime... no class. Fans of Troma films will be in hog heaven, but everyone else should steer clear.