Rating: Summary: Oh the humanity! Review: "Miner's Massacre," a.k.a. "The Curse of the Forty-Niner," is one of those films that sounds great on paper but causes your nose to turn up in execution. In an effort to cover all the bases in the slasher genre, to grind out the absolute last bit of originality in a cinematic rubric long tottering on the brink of utter exhaustion, the filmmakers behind "Miner's Massacre" decided the time had come to make a picture involving a crazed, resurrected gold prospector. Well, why not? Why not resurrect a deceased gold miner and have him prey on a group of young airheads? After all, we've got a guy that victimizes children in dreams, a hockey masked maniac, a killer with a Halloween mask, and numerous enigmatic psychos whose stalk and slash activities revolve around every major and minor holiday on the calendar. I'm continually amazed at the number of low budget slasher films I see on the shelf at the local video store, and can only conclude that somebody keeps making them because I keep renting them. Sorry about that. Perhaps if I quit watching this dreck I could save millions of us one horrible viewing experience after another. I hesitate to even review this film on the off chance that my effort will inspire even one person to take this film seriously. Here goes, anyway.
"Miner's Massacre" starts when a young guy discovers gold in the old mining regions of California. Unfortunately, his discovery of a nugget awakens the spirit of Jeremiah Stone (Vernon Wells), a world-class jerk when he lived back in the nineteenth century and an even bigger brute as a manic monster now. Before the youngster bites the dust as a result of Stone's tender mercies, he sends the nugget and a crude map to his sister Claire (Carrie Bradec). Now Claire, her boyfriend, and her friends aren't the sharpest tacks on the wall, but they do understand the implications involved in finding golden treasures. So Claire and her associates hop in their cars and head out to find the gold hinted at in the correspondence from her sibling. I won't go into great detail about the dolts along for the ride since we've all seen these types before in countless horror movies, but Axl (Steve Wastell) deserves special attention. Think of a low rent Steve Buscemi, add a grating, irritating attitude, and you've got a good idea of what to expect from the Axl character. More important is the number of instantly recognizable B actors sprinkled throughout the film. Karen Black, John Phillip Law, Martin Kove, and Jeff Conaway all turn up in minor roles.
The kiddies hardly step out of their cars before the casualties start to mount up. Axl's mouthy girlfriend is the first to wave bye bye when she leaves in a huff after her boyfriend befriends local gal Eve (Alexandra Ford). There are the usual warnings from the locals about danger in the area, particularly from Sheriff Murphy (Law) and Eve's Aunt Nelly (Black), but the gold seekers continue to look around for riches anyway. And they find them, chests and buckets overflowing with gold, tucked away in an old mining shaft. Of course, taking away Jeremiah Stone's gold will have lasting consequences of a most painful sort. Only by putting every piece of gold back in the mine will these young adults have any hope of escaping with their lives. Predictably, a few of the characters don't think much about this idea, but that's expected--they'll pay for their obstinacy with their lives before the final credits roll because unbridled greed always equals a death sentence in these films. The movie's conclusion fails to deliver anything we haven't seen done better in countless other horror pictures. There is an amusing flashback sequence explaining how Jeremiah Stone's curse came about, but this short series of scenes comes far too late to arrest the movie's downward spiral.
I'm finding it difficult to say anything good about the film. Certainly, seeing Karen Black screech her way through the role of Aunt Nelly provides a measure of enjoyment, but that's about all the movie has going for it. Martin Kove, Jeff Conaway, and even John Phillip Law only turn up for a few minutes before moving on to what one hopes are greener pastures. About ten or twenty minutes into the film I began to hope that the gore would save the day, a hope that turned out to be illusory. Stone carves up a few of the kids, and then collects their blood in a bucket, but nothing really happens beyond that. I thought that a film as derivative as "Miner's Massacre" would try to ramp up the violence in an effort to stand above the crowd of B grade slasher films--guess again. It's all rather tame and uninteresting. The same applies to the acting (mediocre) and the pace (plodding).
Extras on the DVD consist of three trailers for "Snake Island," "Killer Buzz," and "Global Effect"--three films that look no better than this movie. "Miner's Massacre" might slightly appeal to fans of low budget horror films, or completists that simply must see as much in the horror genre as they possibly can. For everyone else, I can think of a huge list of films preferable to this one. I recommend anything in the "Friday the 13th," "Nightmare on Elm Street," or even the "Leprechaun" franchise in place of this film. The lack of significant gore, ineffective cameos from faded stars, sloppy performances, and all around cheesiness of "Miner's Massacre" make this DVD a dangerous journey indeed. Watch at your own risk.
Rating: Summary: A Horrid Attempt at a Horror Film Review: A member of the Donner party survives only to become a crazed claim jumper. He steals treasure in the form of gold and hoards it in a secret stash within a mineshaft. Making some kind of pact with the devil, the miner, Jeremiah Stone, swears that anyone who encroaches upon his treasure will find a quick death. When a young man discovers the gold, he unwittingly releases this demonic miner and the "curse of the 49er." Jeremiah promptly rids himself of this usurper. However, his work hasn't finished yet. Before Jeremiah got to this young man, the adolescent managed to send a golden nugget and a map to his sister. The sister and a group of her friends, wanting to make a quick fortune, head out into the western wilderness with dollar signs in their sights. Little do they know that they will be met with more than a few twangy locals, and will get more than a mere vacation in the great outdoors. This film could have been decent, but was extremely poorly executed. Both the plot and the script are chock full of horrible cliches. The script steals lines from other movies in a desperate attempt to be humorous. The plot is excruciatingly unsubstantial. A good portion of the background is not explained until near the end of the film, leaving the viewer wondering what is going on while the seemingly mindless bloodshed ups the body count. The characters aren't developed at all, and thus the viewer doesn't really care what happens to them. This of course isn't helped by the fact that the acting is pretty poor as well, with everyone turning in easily forgettable performances. The effects and cinematography are cheap looking, with the possible exception of the make-up on the miner himself. I love horror films. However, this film was just awful. It wasn't scary, it wasn't gory, and the script had me chuckling with how dreadfully horrendous, boring and banal it was. Do not waste your money on this film unless you are a filmmaker who wants to see what not to do.
Rating: Summary: A Horrid Attempt at a Horror Film Review: A member of the Donner party survives only to become a crazed claim jumper. He steals treasure in the form of gold and hoards it in a secret stash within a mineshaft. Making some kind of pact with the devil, the miner, Jeremiah Stone, swears that anyone who encroaches upon his treasure will find a quick death. When a young man discovers the gold, he unwittingly releases this demonic miner and the "curse of the 49er." Jeremiah promptly rids himself of this usurper. However, his work hasn't finished yet. Before Jeremiah got to this young man, the adolescent managed to send a golden nugget and a map to his sister. The sister and a group of her friends, wanting to make a quick fortune, head out into the western wilderness with dollar signs in their sights. Little do they know that they will be met with more than a few twangy locals, and will get more than a mere vacation in the great outdoors. This film could have been decent, but was extremely poorly executed. Both the plot and the script are chock full of horrible cliches. The script steals lines from other movies in a desperate attempt to be humorous. The plot is excruciatingly unsubstantial. A good portion of the background is not explained until near the end of the film, leaving the viewer wondering what is going on while the seemingly mindless bloodshed ups the body count. The characters aren't developed at all, and thus the viewer doesn't really care what happens to them. This of course isn't helped by the fact that the acting is pretty poor as well, with everyone turning in easily forgettable performances. The effects and cinematography are cheap looking, with the possible exception of the make-up on the miner himself. I love horror films. However, this film was just awful. It wasn't scary, it wasn't gory, and the script had me chuckling with how dreadfully horrendous, boring and banal it was. Do not waste your money on this film unless you are a filmmaker who wants to see what not to do.
Rating: Summary: Gold Miner's Slaughter! Review: Despite it's awkward title and slow start, "Miner's Massacre" turns out to be quite an interesting take on the slasher genre. Here we have a group of friends(who look wayyyyy to old to pass as teenagers) searching for treasure in an old mine. The locals repeatedly warn them not to go near the mine for good reason. They are soon stalked and slaughtered by a re-animated 1800's-era miner who's trying to protect his gold. What "Miner's Massacre" lacks in originality, it makes up for in it's humorous script and memorable characters(particularly the Steve Buscemi lookalike Axl). The young actors are attractive and mostly appealing, and the cast is rounded out by some seasoned vets(John Philip Law, Karen Black, Richard Lynch, Jeff Conaway, and Martin Kove). "Miner's Massacre" is a satisfying blend of horror, action, and comedy. It may not be the best of it's genre, but it's hard not to like this movie.
Rating: Summary: Gold Miner's Slaughter! Review: Despite it's awkward title and slow start, "Miner's Massacre" turns out to be quite an interesting take on the slasher genre. Here we have a group of friends(who look wayyyyy to old to pass as teenagers) searching for treasure in an old mine. The locals repeatedly warn them not to go near the mine for good reason. They are soon stalked and slaughtered by a re-animated 1800's-era miner who's trying to protect his gold. What "Miner's Massacre" lacks in originality, it makes up for in it's humorous script and memorable characters(particularly the Steve Buscemi lookalike Axl). The young actors are attractive and mostly appealing, and the cast is rounded out by some seasoned vets(John Philip Law, Karen Black, Richard Lynch, Jeff Conaway, and Martin Kove). "Miner's Massacre" is a satisfying blend of horror, action, and comedy. It may not be the best of it's genre, but it's hard not to like this movie.
Rating: Summary: Gold Miner's Slaughter! Review: Despite it's awkward title and slow start, "Miner's Massacre" turns out to be quite an interesting take on the slasher genre. Here we have a group of friends(who look wayyyyy to old to pass as teenagers) searching for treasure in an old mine. The locals repeatedly warn them not to go near the mine for good reason. They are soon stalked and slaughtered by a re-animated 1800's-era miner who's trying to protect his gold. What "Miner's Massacre" lacks in originality, it makes up for in it's humorous script and memorable characters(particularly the Steve Buscemi lookalike Axl). The young actors are attractive and mostly appealing, and the cast is rounded out by some seasoned vets(John Philip Law, Karen Black, Richard Lynch, Jeff Conaway, and Martin Kove). "Miner's Massacre" is a satisfying blend of horror, action, and comedy. It may not be the best of it's genre, but it's hard not to like this movie.
Rating: Summary: Boring, Boring, Boring, oh wait and BORING Review: I LOVE horror movies, I love gore, blood, and massacres, but this movie was HORRIBLE!! There are 6 people who are in search of gold... a woman's brother told her to come to this place because he found soooo much gold. So, she gets her boyfriend and her 2 other pairs of friends who are couples. At first, the movie started out good, but then it just turned so CHEESY! The legend was that this man (the 49er or miner) found some gold, but he was *evil* and he liked to kill people. So, he then sold his spirit to the devil and said anyone who comes and takes my gold will awaken me and all who are in my path or have taken my gold shall die. (hmm haven't we heard something like this before??) and basically they the 3 couples take the gold and now they must pay, becaues they woke up the spirit of the 49er. There is like NO gore at all in this movie. If you saw the Texas Chainsaw Massacre you know that he hangs his victims on a hook right... well thats EXACTLY what this guy did, except he put a bucket under then to catch the blood. Also, there are so many cheesy, wisecrack, sexual, jokes. If you really wanna see a GOOD HORROR MOVIE... may I recommend, "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" or "Jeepers Creepers 1 or 2" Like I said if you like boring, cheesy, crappy movies, this is the MOVIE FOR YOU!
Rating: Summary: Great slasher flick Review: I love this movie it has everything sex,hot girls,nudity,and some gore.Sure it has elements from "Wrong Turn", and "Jeepers Creepers" but who cares.If you like this movie then I recomend these movies to watch: Jeepers Creepers Wrong Turn The Texas Chainsaw Massacre House Of 1000 Corpses.
Rating: Summary: A GREAT SLASHER FILM!!!! Review: MINER'S MASSACRE WAS A DIRECT-TO-VIDEO RELEASE WORTHY OF THEATRICAL EXHIBITION. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT TO FANS OF SLASHER FILMS. A FEW SIMILAR MOVIES COME TO MIND WHEN I SPEAK ABOUT THIS MOVIE. IN THE STYLE OF THE FRIDAY THE 13TH SERIES AND IN THE VEIN OF MY BLOODY VALENTINE, THIS MOVIE DELIVERS. IT FEATURES A CAST OF ALMOST ALL UNKNOWNS, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF JUST A FEW(KAREN VALENTINE AND JEFF CONAWAY). THIS FILM IS QUITE VIOLENT AND FEATURES SOME GORE. ALSO, A BIT OF NUDITY. IT IS SURE TO PLEASE HORROR FANS THAT APPRECIATE OLD-STYLE HORROR/SLASHER FILMS. I ALSO RECOMMEND WRONG TURN AND CABIN FEVER IF YOU ENJOY THIS. THEY ALL DELIVER THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF THRILLS AND CHILLS! SO TURN THE LIGHTS DOWN LOW, SIT BACK, RELAX AND ENJOY!!!
Rating: Summary: The Miner's Gold Should Stay Buried... Review: The Miner's Gold should stay buried, and so should this DVD! From beginning to end, this DVD was a disapointment. I chose to give it 2 stars, although it is more deserving of a 1.5. The idea itself put me in mind of a mummy film- disturb the treasure, and awaken an evil curse. First, the film seemed to "bright" to fit the horror genre. Second, the film score was not at all ominous enough to invoke any type of fearful anticipation (Except for the end of the movie!) Third, the actors looked more like teen-show actors than actors of a horror film. The only good spot in the film was a 20 second strip dance given by a well-built red head. My recommendation...this one should go back to the dust.
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