Dark Harvest

Rating:
Summary: El-Stinko Productions presents...Dark Harvest
Review: I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this film simply because it doesn't deserve it one way or the other. But if you like poor acting, poor filming and poor dialogue, then this movie is for you. If not, I recommend that you skip it!

Rating:
Summary: B-movie tradition
Review: If you are the regular movie goer who looks for quality in film, this one is not for you. For some one like myself who takes pleasure in watching relly bad B horror flicks, this is perfect. The campy film has a weak story line, no suspense, bad acting, and bad cinematography. In keeping with my tradition of really bad films, this one is perfect.

Rating:
Summary: Beware The Scarecrows
Review: Iv'e seen quite a few movies dealing with killer scarecrows like "Scarecrows" (1988), and "Night Of The Scarecrow" (1995). The low-budget and lack of special effects make it more creepy. This movie is pretty average about a group of friends who go and stay in an abandoned farm-house surrounded by vast corn fields in West Virginia. The land was owned by one of the guy's great grandfathers and he inherited it. Rumors were circulating around town about the area being haunted. Supposedly the great grandfather who lived there back in 1932 summoned and made a deal with the devil to keep his crops alive during a drought. His crops were the only crops in the county to be alive. The grandfather became evil himself and killed his wife. The friends are warned that when the harvest moon rises the evil spirits will return for a bloody vengence. And sure enough, the spirits possess the scarecrows and come alive. They have glowing red eyes and make bloodcurdling screams, creepy. The friends are running for their lives as the scarecrows scream and chase them with mechetties, hooks, knives, and hatchets through the corn fields. You'll probably laugh more than scream even if you watch it at night. It ain't that scary.

Rating:
Summary: Warning: Do not insert into your DVD player
Review: Knowing from previous experiences that Stephen Baldwin is most likely the worst actor in the world, the guy has like one facial expression through an entire movie, we decided in a hurry to rent 'Warnings' (seems like that's its title here in Europe (...) After five minutes approx. the movie turns into the biggest movie rip-off I've ever seen, and we're talking 'Signs' of course. I didn't like 'Signs' that much when I saw it. The aliens, being computer graphics and all, ruined the movie totally. With that in mind 'Warnings' is ten times worse - at least! The rip-off part aside, this movie had potential, but I guess they dug their own grave with those CG-aliens (the dolls looked even worse) and the, at times, really bad acting. Unbelievable! Billy Zane is the real star in this movie, for what it's worth, and he can't possibly have more than ten lines or whatever. The only terrifying thing about this movie is that it actually got released. What were they thinking? Beats me.

Rating:
Summary: Signs rip-off!
Review: Man this movie SUCKS ASS! Sorry but do I have to explain why it sucks ass?

Rating:
Summary: These kinds of movies are why you need to buy at amazon
Review: Never again will I go with "a hunch" based on box cover art or description. I usually buy all my flicks here at amazon because I can read the reviews and at least make an intelligent choice.
Unforutnatly I picked this up at a store and thinking that it was priced at 17.99 it at least should have been fairly entertaining.
Heck, All I need to do is go to my local halloween store and pick up a rubber mask and put on some farmer clothes and I would make a great scarecrow in this movie.

It was soo bad, but me having my pride, watched the entire movie.. although be it, the last 30 minutes in FAST-Foward motion. BLECH... It is bad enough for me to come on line and start typing to tell ANYONE that this was just horrible.. And to relieve my stress at reading that others reviewers had the same unfortunate experience to see this.. gave me a few chuckles to know that somehow I was not the only one.

So then, I will just stick to my old ways and actually get to read reviews rather than just going on a "gut feeling". Not all movies I purchase get a great review, but, at least I think this is an informed way of purchasing it, knowing I was warned, but going for it anyways.

Don't know what I will do with this one, I have a few hundred movies in my collection, maybe I can make a hole in the wall, insert this dvd, and replaster the wall so that it can never be found in my collection.. Can't give it away, and do not want someone finding this in the trash and seeing it...

Rating:
Summary: Oh, the horror - and not the good kind...
Review: Not all that long ago, I was a theatre major at Marshall University in Huntington, WV. I remember a couple summers ago, some friends of mine in the theatre told me about a little indy horror flick they were working on called "Dark Harvest." I was pretty excited to see what they had accomplished. Now that I have finally seen "Dark Harvest," I must say... Well, uh... Damn. As much as I'd like to tell you all that this is a wonderfully directed, edited, scripted, etc. horror film, it just isn't. "Dark Harvest" is an absolutely abysmal piece of trash, that should be removed from every store in America (and god forbid this crap should end up in other countries). If any of you that worked on this flick are reading this, and you know me and wonder just why I would go Judas on you... Well, I'm sorry, but you made one very terrible film. No, calling this a "film" isn't right; hell, it isn't even a movie. This is a flick, and a most atrocious one at that. You've already read why in the many other reviews already posted here, and possibly elsewhere on the web. Therefore, I won't repeat the reasons for this flick's craptacular nature. I would say "you just have to see it yourself," but I would be a terrible critic indeed were I to say such a thing. No, you would be better off skipping this flick altogether; don't even rent it. If you absolutely must see this flick, know this: you have been warned.

Rating:
Summary: wow this was bad
Review: So a bunch of my friends and I rented this movie over the summer because a co-worker was actually in it. The movie was absolutely horrible. The acting, directing, and special effects were terrible. The script is one big cliche. But, I do have to say, Dark Harvest makes a pretty good drinking game and it was well worth renting to see our coworker get offed.

Rating:
Summary: It'll scare the crop out of you? Really?
Review: The tagline is a warning that what you're dealing with here is a piece of garbage. Don't be fooled by the cool cover art: this is not a scary movie. It's not the self-aware shlocky bad horror movie either. It's just plain bad. When my own mother is heckling a movie a la MST3k, I know it's a bad movie.

The movie's opening is fairly effective, which got my hopes up for disappointment later. It goes on about the Depression and the droughts, while showing newspaper clips and images. This little montage is pretty well done, but it's only a couple minutes long.

The dreck starts bad and gets work. Back in the 30's, Elijah Baker, a farmer in West Virginia, has strung up a human for a scarecrow in his corn field. He's gunned down by the police. I'd usually be more detailed than that, but the movie isn't worth the effort. Fast-forward to present day, the great grandson of Elijah has just inherited the farm from his biological father, and he and his fiance decide to go out into the mountains to check the place out.

Of course, this kind of movie is no good with just two potential victims, so they invite four friends along to be cannon fodder for the evil spirits. When the new Baker boy goes for an ice run, he meets an old woman who informs him that his great grandfather made a deal with the devil to keep his crops healthy at all times, and kept to the deal by stringing up drifters as scarecrows and bleeding them onto the soil. She tells him that on the next night, the spirits will rise for vengeance.

Throughout the long period of time before the monsters show up, we're treated to bad acting (not flat line delivery; just plain bad acting), lots of needless dialogue, poor cinematography (I'd forgive poor camera quality, but a film-maker should at least know to use camera angles), clunky music, and plenty of nudity (a sure sign that the makers knew their movie was lacking.)

I was willing to forgive all this if the monsters lived up to the packaging somehow. But when they finally appear, they're nothing more than zombie scarecrows dressed in overalls and wearing red bandanas around their necks. The make-up job isn't even very good, as often the actors' skin shows up when a limb goes too far out of a sleeve.

This isn't the sort of B-movie you can enjoy for its badness. It's the kind you ridicule for its badness. Most piece-of-crap slasher movies at least put a hook early on by killing some teens right off the bat. This one just plods along, building suspense and boredom, with no fun pay-off. There isn't even enough gore in it to reccomend to blood and guts lovers. There's nothing to reccomend about this movie at all. Just turn away from the cool cover and repeat to yourself "I know it's nothing good."

Rating:
Summary: do not watch this film!!!!!!!!!
Review: This is THE worst film that i have ever seen (and i have seen blairwitch 2!) it has got to be the worst film ever made. i have even taken the time out of my life to warn you appreciators of good films not to burden yourselves with the shame of watching it, the acting is incredibly bad as is the camerawork (what was the director thinking?). this film is so bad it does not even warrant the 1 star which i gave it. PLEASE do not even think about seeing this flik 4 the sake of film buffs everywhere infact if you see it in a shop just burn it. simple as that!