El Chupacabra

Rating:
Summary: Not quite a z-movie
Review: El Chupacabra is by far, the worst movie I have seen in the last few years. Imagine a horror film where the "monster" looks like a retarded chimp that's been punched in the face a few too many times, and has fallen into a vat of green dye. In spite of the fact that it's less than 3 feet tall and moves like it's doing the potty dance in slow motion, it manages to kill several stupid humans that aren't smart enough to just kick it like a football and beat it with a stick. Sadly, the monster being on-screen is the highlight of this movie, as the acting is horrible. I rented this movie expecting a really bad, d-movie, and it exceeded my expectations by far.

Rating:
Summary: Not quite a z-movie
Review: El Chupacabra is by far, the worst movie I have seen in the last few years. Imagine a horror film where the "monster" looks like a retarded chimp that's been punched in the face a few too many times, and has fallen into a vat of green dye. In spite of the fact that it's less than 3 feet tall and moves like it's doing the potty dance in slow motion, it manages to kill several stupid humans that aren't smart enough to just kick it like a football and beat it with a stick. Sadly, the monster being on-screen is the highlight of this movie, as the acting is horrible. I rented this movie expecting a really bad, d-movie, and it exceeded my expectations by far.

Rating:
Summary: Snotty film student weighs in...
Review: Great effort for a movie with a budget smaller than Blair Witch - I hope. The camera shaking added to tension - good call on the part of the Director. Very creative shots. Cameraman needs V8. (...) Don't let your sibling watch, they'll be too afraid to take out the trash. (...)

Rating:
Summary: This Was Really Bad.
Review: If you are reading this bad review and look at the others which are bad and still think "Hey, forget what they say, I bet it'll be a good movie," Don't count on it. When I read the reviews I wanted to see the film for myself first. when I saw it the reviews were correct. This sucked! All they did was talk, talk, talk ,talk,talk, talk, talk. And there was this stupid sentence which stayed right in the middle of the movie saying Property of Crappy Films or something like that. Anyway trust me. I know and I was in the same position you were in. This movie sucked. If you don't believe me rent or borrow it and see it yourself.

Rating:
Summary: This movie is testimony to Amazon needing zero-star ratings
Review: This has got to be one of the worst B-horror movie ever. Of course, no one expects a B-horror movie to be good or make sense, but this is ridiculous!

All throughout the movie, we have people doing things for no reason at all! We have the scientist who will do anything for science, including sacrifice people. We have the greedy man who will do anything for money, including sacrifice people. Then we have the good guys. We have the hero who will do anything to save people, including risk his life. We have the pretty girl's father who will do anything to save people, including risk his life.

My description may sound like an overexaggeration, but that is how it normally is with B-movies. All the bad guys act the same, all the good guys act the same, and there are generally two types of women. There's the bad ass female who can kick ass despite her rather small stature (and most of them have petite figures, so don't lie to yourself) and there's the female who actually acts like how she looks. In this movie, it's the latter but she gets to kick some ass later on in the movie. She fails miserably at it, but she does it.

The chupacabra itself is a rather big enigma. It growls loudly all the time, yet no one hears it. It mauls everyone it comes across, yet no one except the main people sees any dead bodies. It moves like it has a giant spring in its ass, yet it slows down when near someone and speeds up again when it's right next to them.

However, that is not the biggest problem. The biggest problem in this movie is that everyone and the chupacabra does things for no reason. The scientist decides to kidnap the admiral's daughter even though kidnapping someone else would have made it tremendously easier for him. The thief tells the soldiers that the heroes are dead for no obvious reasons. As a matter of fact, telling the soldiers the truth would have made things EASIER for him. Then there's the chupacabra itself. It really mauls EVERYONE it comes across! How can anything be hungry all the time? Even so, it never eats all of its victim. It swallows maybe a tiny part and then it moves on to something else. Why?

You guys should save yourself the agony of this movie. Nothing makes sense. In one scene, one of the soldiers will toss grenades all over the place, but almost NOTHING is destroyed! Please don't watch this. You'll thank me for it later.

Rating:
Summary: Snotty film student weighs in...
Review: this movie rocks! it looks cool, the writing is fast and funny and scary. the guys who directed this are definitely here for good. I can't wait to see their next movie.

Rating:
Summary: this film rocks
Review: this movie rocks! it looks cool, the writing is fast and funny and scary. the guys who directed this are definitely here for good. I can't wait to see their next movie.

Rating:
Summary: Save your money....
Review: Unless you can pick this up in a closeout bin, and even then just save your money....