Rating: 
Summary: Get Out of the Car!
Review: "Junior" tells of a lesbian couples unfortunate run-in with the title character at some off road area in a foreign country. The film tries to remind us of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and others of its ilk by portraying a disturbed family and various scenes of torture and unease. There are two main problems with the film; one, the first half hour or so is really boring as we retread old plotlines of getting lost and the car breaking down. Two, an overly, overly, overly long scene concerning one of the girls being harrassed by an unseen "thing" while in the car. This scene almost made me give up on the film but I am glad I stuck with it as things pick up considerably in the last half. This part of the presentation is truly disturbing and gruesome in a TCM kind of way and makes the movie worth watching. The title character is memorable as is his chosen instrument of destruction. Not a lot of gore but some things do get a little messy. Overall, "Junior" is no classic but has enough going on to make it worth your time.
Rating:
Summary: Get Out of the Car!
Review: "Junior" tells of a lesbian couples unfortunate run-in with the title character at some off road area in a foreign country. The film tries to remind us of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and others of its ilk by portraying a disturbed family and various scenes of torture and unease. There are two main problems with the film; one, the first half hour or so is really boring as we retread old plotlines of getting lost and the car breaking down. Two, an overly, overly, overly long scene concerning one of the girls being harrassed by an unseen "thing" while in the car. This scene almost made me give up on the film but I am glad I stuck with it as things pick up considerably in the last half. This part of the presentation is truly disturbing and gruesome in a TCM kind of way and makes the movie worth watching. The title character is memorable as is his chosen instrument of destruction. Not a lot of gore but some things do get a little messy. Overall, "Junior" is no classic but has enough going on to make it worth your time.
Rating: 
Summary: Where's Danny DeVito?
Review: After a long day working at the local roller rink, I felt a need to watch a light hearted comedy about Conan the destroyer getting pregnant and hanging out with short actor danny devito. I thought of all the hilarity that may ensue from such a premise, such as jokes about morning sickness and male breast-feeding, so I roller skated over to the local video store to rent "junior." I browsed around and eventually found this movie. I figured the fact that a man wearing a mask and holding what looks like a miner's pick was all part of the joke, so I rented it. I simply figured that junior was just recently pregnant and not showing yet, and maybe he worked down in the coal mines all the live-long day, and possibly having some drinks after work with his little buddy.(devito)Long story short, I'm so glad I did. This movie was HI-larious, and it really helped to ease my aching feet as I laughed the night away! I couldn't help chuckling at poor juniors' pregnant antics!(I felt kind of bad about this, but then I just reminded myself it is only a movie.) The scene where junior gets a face full of dirt thrown at him and falls over for about 3 minutes is sure to be a classic! I read later in people magazine that this is Charlton Hestons' favorite movie, and I don't blame him. I also read that this movie is an "unofficial" sequel to "fried green tomatoes", but I have been unable to confirm this rumor yet. My only problem with this movie is an almost complete lack of aforesaid devito, although the scene he was in(the chicken scene)was very well acted and tastefully done.
Rating: 
Summary: crapola
Review: BAD ACTING.
BAD CAMERA WORK.
STUPID STORY.
I WOULD ONLY SUGGEST WATCHING THIS IS YOU TRUELY HAVE NO LIFE.
Rating:
Summary: This is the worst movie I have ever seen.
Review: I watch a lot of independent horror movies, and this is by far the worst one I have ever seen. It's so bad that it isn't even enjoyable to sit around with your friends and make fun of it. It oozes badness from every pitted contrived pore of its withered 90 minute bulk. There is not one moment in this entire movie that is the least bit inventive. The dialogue is so bad that you'll want to grind a pen in your ear until you feel the sweet embrace of permanent deafness. It's a hilariously low-budget combination of tired cliches from other, better movies. Now, I rented Junior, and after just ten minutes into the movie I began to suspect that I had made a terrible mistake. At the end, not only was I depressed that I had wasted five bucks, I was depressed that I had wasted nearly two hours of my life. The only scene in the movie that's worth anything at all is the bizarre car scene, and even that is ruined when we get to see the dumb monster that looks like something a sugar-addled middle schooler would draw in a textbook margin. If you buy this movie, you will live to regret it.
Rating:
Summary: Decent Horror Flick
Review: Junior was actually a pretty good horror flick. I remember seeing the cover saying okay its by Artisian its musn't be that bad. Well I popped it in and the first 10 minutes were horrible. The diaglougue in the beginning was just awful and the acting as well. However, soon the movie started getting good. It seems to me that someone noticed that the movie was bad so far and decided to take this film actually seriously. So It got really good as it progressed. The diaglougue and acting turned out decent. It did copy some scenes from some other movies though. However one scene that they copied was from Friday The 13th. This scene was great because I haven't seen any other movie that copied the same scene before! The ending was decent too. All in All, Junior was a decent movie. It was heading in the wrong direction at first, but then turned into the right direction!
Rating:
Summary: European Train Wreck
Review: Once again, as a glutton for punishment, I rented this on a perfectly good Friday night. The back of the DVD intrigued me, to paraphrase... "two chicks.. a broken down car... a wacko... who will survive?...blah .. blah .. blah" Okay, so I figured It'd be a little like Jeepers Creepers or any of the typical "lost on the highway and killed by a stranger" flicks. Unlike pointless hackfests involving two relatively good looking (and in this case, lesbian perhaps) women, this euro-junk didn't "stoop" to showing pointless nudity. If it had, there might have been some redeeming value to the half hour country drive the female protoganists took. I'll save you the cost of renting or buying this mess by spoiling its plot in three sentences. Chicks drive into country in crappy car that breaks down. One chick gets whacked by "junior" the other gets captured. Chick breaks free whacks junior but gets whacked in turn by junior's dad. The End. This could have easily been distilled into an old episode of "Tales from the Darkside" or even "Monsters". The movie dragged, and dragged and dragged on.
Endless scenes of English? countryside, poor paving and dialogue... oh man... can I please have a movie where the "bad guy" doesn't stand there and explain the entire freakin' movie in 5 minutes at the end? "i'm junior's dad... blah blah blah.. he was born deformed and evil...blah blah blah... here is the whole point of the movie!... blah blah blah" That's why silence of the lambs was so cool, the freak in that movie didn't explain himself, he just did evil stuff to people and didn't give a care about what people thought. ::sigh:: 1 star people. No Production value, no special effects, (unless you like phony chopped off rubber heads that leak Ketchup), awful and often ponderous dialogue.
Rating:
Summary: European Train Wreck
Review: Once again, as a glutton for punishment, I rented this on a perfectly good Friday night. The back of the DVD intrigued me, to paraphrase... "two chicks.. a broken down car... a wacko... who will survive?...blah .. blah .. blah" Okay, so I figured It'd be a little like Jeepers Creepers or any of the typical "lost on the highway and killed by a stranger" flicks. Unlike pointless hackfests involving two relatively good looking (and in this case, lesbian perhaps) women, this euro-junk didn't "stoop" to showing pointless nudity. If it had, there might have been some redeeming value to the half hour country drive the female protoganists took. I'll save you the cost of renting or buying this mess by spoiling its plot in three sentences. Chicks drive into country in crappy car that breaks down. One chick gets whacked by "junior" the other gets captured. Chick breaks free whacks junior but gets whacked in turn by junior's dad. The End. This could have easily been distilled into an old episode of "Tales from the Darkside" or even "Monsters". The movie dragged, and dragged and dragged on.
Endless scenes of English? countryside, poor paving and dialogue... oh man... can I please have a movie where the "bad guy" doesn't stand there and explain the entire freakin' movie in 5 minutes at the end? "i'm junior's dad... blah blah blah.. he was born deformed and evil...blah blah blah... here is the whole point of the movie!... blah blah blah" That's why silence of the lambs was so cool, the freak in that movie didn't explain himself, he just did evil stuff to people and didn't give a care about what people thought. ::sigh:: 1 star people. No Production value, no special effects, (unless you like phony chopped off rubber heads that leak Ketchup), awful and often ponderous dialogue.
Rating:
Summary: European Train Wreck
Review: Once again, as a glutton for punishment, I rented this on a perfectly good Friday night. The back of the DVD intrigued me, to paraphrase... "two chicks.. a broken down car... a wacko... who will survive?...blah .. blah .. blah" Okay, so I figured It'd be a little like Jeepers Creepers or any of the typical "lost on the highway and killed by a stranger" flicks. Unlike pointless hackfests involving two relatively good looking (and in this case, lesbian perhaps) women, this euro-junk didn't "stoop" to showing pointless nudity. If it had, there might have been some redeeming value to the half hour country drive the female protoganists took. I'll save you the cost of renting or buying this mess by spoiling its plot in three sentences. Chicks drive into country in crappy car that breaks down. One chick gets whacked by "junior" the other gets captured. Chick breaks free whacks junior but gets whacked in turn by junior's dad. The End. This could have easily been distilled into an old episode of "Tales from the Darkside" or even "Monsters". The movie dragged, and dragged and dragged on.
Endless scenes of English? countryside, poor paving and dialogue... oh man... can I please have a movie where the "bad guy" doesn't stand there and explain the entire freakin' movie in 5 minutes at the end? "i'm junior's dad... blah blah blah.. he was born deformed and evil...blah blah blah... here is the whole point of the movie!... blah blah blah" That's why silence of the lambs was so cool, the freak in that movie didn't explain himself, he just did evil stuff to people and didn't give a care about what people thought. ::sigh:: 1 star people. No Production value, no special effects, (unless you like phony chopped off rubber heads that leak Ketchup), awful and often ponderous dialogue.
Rating:
Summary: Even the garbage man refused to pick this one up.
Review: That's right. Even the dump was too good of an area to throw this garbage away. Low budget, poor acting. Nothing good to write about this one.
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