Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter

Rating:
Summary: Great movie? No. Great commentary? Of course!
Review: I can't speak for anyone else, but I bought this DVD solely for the Joe Bob Briggs commentary. I would watch him late at night on MonsterVision and always thought he was hilarious, and could also improve a film by interjecting interesting facts about it. He's a very well educated and talented writer and has a fantastic screen and voice presence. That makes him great on stuff like this.

"The stuff" in question... isn't so good. I love schlocky B-movies as much as the next person, but Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter beats the original Frankenstein's Daughter in the dull department- and that's saying a LOT. I couldn't imagine watching the whole thing without Briggs funny and enlightening commentary. Buy this if you're a fan of the film of Briggs, but if you're expecting a classic horror or western movie- search elsewhere.

Rating:
Summary: Ouch! This movie's bad!
Review: I purchased this movie just to see how campy it would be and it was terrible. I can't believe that William Beaudine (Producer) actually thought that this flick would sell? Anyway, I thought it would be fun but, it was one big waste of time...

Two thumbs down. Purchase it only if you must but, I wanted it for my collection.

Rating:
Summary: The other half of the "Billy the Kid vs. Dracula" twin bill
Review: I think it is safe to say that more people have heard about "Billy the Kid versus Dracula," the 1966 drive-in flick that had John Carradine hamming it up as the vampire count who is involved in a love triangle with the infamous American outlaw suddenly turned good guy, than have actually seen the film. But somehow I managed to remain ignorant of "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter," made by the same writer (Carl K. Hittleman) and same director (William Beaudine) that same year (1966). Part of the reason that this film has seeped through the cracks of pop culture history is that it lacks the redeeming campy nature of the other film, which was at least laughably bad. This one will just make you wince.

"Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" flips the situation of "Billy the Kid versus Dracula" with the cowboy coming to the monster this time around. Jesse James (John Lupton) is being pursued by Marhsal MacPhee (Jim Davis; that is right, Jock Ewing himself), so he hides out in Baron Frankenstein's hacienda, which is now being run by his granddaughter Maria (Narda Onyx) and her brother Rudolph (Steven Geray), both of whom have pretty bad fake German accents. She is a chip off the old mad scientist's block, and promptly turns Jesse's less than intelligent sidekick, Hank Tracy (Cal Bolder), into a bald zombie now named Igor. She has been experimenting with brain transplants on the local young boys and that has not been working out so well.

Believe it or not "historically" this film takes place between the disastrous James gang attempt to rob a bank in Northfield, Minnesota and Jesse's death (Jesse even calls himself "Mr. Howard"). There is also the Wild Bunch, led by Butch Curry, so that a large part of this film is a relatively straightforward western. It is only when Hank needs a doctor that Jesse ends up over at the Frankenstein place; however, I defy you to explain why Juanita (Estelita Rodriquez) would take anybody back there now that she has finally succeeded in getting away from the crazy sibling tag team. This film is literally a collision between these two genres, like Hittleman wrote two scripts for two different genres and then mixed them together.

If for some reason you feel compelled to watch this film, then I would strongly suggest you check out the DVD version, which benefits from being presented by Joe Bob Briggs. That alone has got to double the entertainment value of watching "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter." If you decided to do a drive-in double feature by screening both this one and "Billy the Kid versus Dracula," the order in which you view the two films is pretty much irrelevant (i.e., I have no opinion on which order would either provide the most fun or result in the least amount of harm to your cinematic sensibilities).

Rating:
Summary: Gothic Terror in the Old West! Yeah, right! (Yawn).
Review: Jesse James (John Lupton) and his pal, Hank Tracy take part in a failed stagecoach robbery. Hank is wounded by the posse and they seek medical assistance from, of all people, Dr. Frankenstein's granddaughter. When things got too hot for them in Europe, Maria Frankenstein (Narda Onyx) and her homunculus brother moved to the American Southwest and took up residence in a gloomy abandoned monastery. We are told that American electrical storms used in Frankenstein's experiments are more potent and reliable than the European variety. Sappy science from the "technical" director, no doubt. After Jesse and the wounded Hank knock on her door, the fatal female decides to use the king-sized Hank as her latest experiment in brain surgery and behavior control.

I stand humbled and speechless after viewing this movie. It's difficult to adequately describe this film (using the term very loosely). Combining a Grade B Western with the old low budget standby of the "mad doctor tampering in God's domain" sounds as if it's good fun for those of us who have the "So Bad, It's Good!" mantle proudly emblazoned on much of our personal video collection. For the most part, this film lacks both cheap thrills and unintentional laughs. The movie takes itself much too seriously. The cast and director grimly work their way through the script as if this is high drama instead of a fine opportunity at low comedy. Checkout the rainbow colored army helmets bedecked with electrodes used to transfer brainwaves (or something). The helmets are Dr. Frankenstein's version of cutting edge scientific technology, no doubt. Ditto the cheesy lab equipment that flashes, crackles, and pops on cue. Renaming the brain-tampered Hank "Igor" (or is it "Ygor"?) after the surgery is a nice touch. In these elements we see traces of low budget director William Beaudine's homage (albeit unintended) to that other infamous zero budget director, Ed Wood, Jr. If only Bela Lugosi was still alive in 1966!

See it, if you must. There is a companion volume to this movie called "Billy the Kid vs. Dracula." They sound like good Halloween party tapes, but "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter" may be too much of a bad thing. Beware!

Rating:
Summary: "Blazing Saddles" Meets "Young Frankenstein"
Review: Maria Frankenstein and her brother Rudolph have fled from Vienna, and have relocated to an abandoned mission in Arizona. Maria is trying to create the perfect zombie slave by replacing a man's brain with an artificial brain, but her experiments have all been failures. Maybe that's because her brother is opposed to the idea, and keeps injecting her patients with poison. Jesse James and his partner Hank Tracy join another outlaw gang to rob a stagecoach. Hank, a dimwitted, muscular giant, gets shot in the process. Jesse and Hank manage to escape and, along their travels, meet up with a peasant girl named Juanita. With her help, they make it to Doctor Frankenstein's place.

Drooling over the hulk Hank, the good Doctor operates on him to remove the bullet, and later operates on him to remove his brain. She successfully transplants the artificial brain, and renames her creation Igor. The first thing Maria does is to order Igor to kill her brother before Rudolph can inject him with poison. When Juanita and Jesse arrive on the scene, Maria orders Igor to kill Juanita. Unbeknownst to her, the big lug is sweet on Juanita. In the grand tradition of Frankenstein movies, the creation disobeys orders and kills its creator. After Igor kills Maria, he attacks his partner in crime. Juanita shoots Igor dead before he can kill Jesse James. Some may criticize this movie because of the basic incompatibility of the Western and horror movie genres, or because of its absurd plot. Still others will point to the bargain basement sets, the corny dialogue and the wooden acting. As for myself, I gave this movie five stars because it's so bad it's good!

Rating:
Summary: "Blazing Saddles" Meets "Young Frankenstein"
Review: Maria Frankenstein and her brother Rudolph have fled from Vienna, and have relocated to an abandoned mission in Arizona. Not only did they move there for privacy, the desert offers lots of electrical storms necessary for her experiments. Maria is trying to create the perfect zombie slave by replacing a man's brain with an artificial brain, but her experiments have all been failures. Maybe that's because her brother is opposed to the idea, and keeps injecting her patients with poison. I guess it's poison, since the beaker has a skull and crossbones on it, and underneath that it says POISON.

Jesse James and his partner Hank Tracy join another outlaw gang to rob a stagecoach. Hank, a dimwitted, muscular giant, gets shot in the process. Jesse and Hank manage to escape and, along their travels, meet up with a peasant girl named Juanita. With her help, they make it to Doctor Frankenstein's place. Drooling over the hulk Hank, the good Doctor operates on him to remove the bullet, and later operates on him to remove his brain! She successfully transplants the artificial brain, although she does a poor job of stitching back the top of his head, and renames her creation Igor! The first thing Maria does is to order Igor to kill her brother before Rudolph can inject him with poison.

When Juanita and Jesse arrive on the scene, Maria orders Igor to kill Juanita. Unbeknownst to her, the big lug is sweet on Juanita. In the grand tradition of Frankenstein movies, the creation disobeys orders and kills its creator. After Igor kills Maria, he attacks his partner in crime. Juanita shoots Igor dead before he can kill Jesse James. Some may criticize this movie because of the basic incompatibility of the Western and horror movie genres, or because of its absurd plot. Still others will point to the bargain basement sets, the corny dialogue and the wooden acting. As for myself, I gave this movie five stars because of its originality, and because I'm still recovering from my lobotomy!

Rating:
Summary: Ridiculous and Fun
Review: This film is so outrageously ridiculous that you'd have to be a moron to dismiss it as unworthy. Where else could you see Frankenstein's granddaughter banished (?) to the 'Wild Wild West', only to resume her wacked-out experiments on the wholehearty locals. Fine performances had by all - especially Dr. F's hencheman who looks in desperate need of another brandy throughout.

Great fun.

Rating:
Summary: William Beaudine Made Over 500 Films. This Is One Of Them.
Review: This is an amazing film. It is the last film ever made by William "One Shot" Beaudine, and was a real resume killer for almost everyone in the cast as well. This is the sequel to "Billy The Kid Versus Dracula" (Beaudine's second to last film) which starred John Carradine. Carradine said that "Billy The Kid Versus Dracula" was the worst movie he ever made. That is saying something coming from John Carradine. Now imagine that this film is the sequel. I have seen both, and I think that "Billy The Kid Versus Dracula" is marginally worse, but I can't imagine seeing these on a double bill, which is how they were typically shown.

The thing that makes this DVD special is the commentary track by Joe Bob Briggs. Joe Bob is a genius in his own right, and is super knowledgeable about any type of Grade B movies. Here he gives us the rundown of the cast and location history, and points out continuity gaffes which are so numerous that some of them would probably escape notice due to sheer volume without his help.

In the film Jesse and his gang have a rendezvous with fate with Dr. Frankenstein's granddaughter (Yeah, I know the title is inaccurate. It isn't the only thing in the film, either.) There are several subplots, most of which don't make sense, and possibly the single most stupefying ending in cinema history. The only thing really well done here is Igor's skull scar. Prepare yourself to laugh at everything else.

I watched the film without the commentary once, and with the commentary once. My advice is to just watch it with the commentary. Joe Bob makes sure you listen in whenever anything important happens (which isn't often) and provides plot summation throughout the film anyhow. Another reason is that sometimes the sound is poor and some of the cast (especially Narda Onyx and Estrelita) have bad accents and diction problems.

The movie gets five stars with Joe Bob's commentary turned on. With the commentary turned off it would get two simply as a lifetime achievement award for William Beaudine.

Rating:
Summary: William Beaudine Made Over 500 Films. This Is One Of Them.
Review: This is an amazing film. It is the last film ever made by William "One Shot" Beaudine, and was a real resume killer for almost everyone in the cast as well. This is the sequel to "Billy The Kid Versus Dracula" (Beaudine's second to last film) which starred John Carradine. Carradine said that "Billy The Kid Versus Dracula" was the worst movie he ever made. That is saying something coming from John Carradine. Now imagine that this film is the sequel. I have seen both, and I think that "Billy The Kid Versus Dracula" is marginally worse, but I can't imagine seeing these on a double bill, which is how they were typically shown.

The thing that makes this DVD special is the commentary track by Joe Bob Briggs. Joe Bob is a genius in his own right, and is super knowledgeable about any type of Grade B movies. Here he gives us the rundown of the cast and location history, and points out continuity gaffes which are so numerous that some of them would probably escape notice due to sheer volume without his help.

In the film Jesse and his gang have a rendezvous with fate with Dr. Frankenstein's granddaughter (Yeah, I know the title is inaccurate. It isn't the only thing in the film, either.) There are several subplots, most of which don't make sense, and possibly the single most stupefying ending in cinema history. The only thing really well done here is Igor's skull scar. Prepare yourself to laugh at everything else.

I watched the film without the commentary once, and with the commentary once. My advice is to just watch it with the commentary. Joe Bob makes sure you listen in whenever anything important happens (which isn't often) and provides plot summation throughout the film anyhow. Another reason is that sometimes the sound is poor and some of the cast (especially Narda Onyx and Estrelita) have bad accents and diction problems.

The movie gets five stars with Joe Bob's commentary turned on. With the commentary turned off it would get two simply as a lifetime achievement award for William Beaudine.

Rating:
Summary: Ripped From The Pages Of Yesterday's Headlines!
Review: Yessiree, this here is just how it all happened. Jesse James (John Lupton) and Hank Tracy (towering behemoth Cal Bolder) were minding their own business, robbing a stagecoach, when, -BAM!- They were double-crossed by one of the notorious wild bunch! Sheriff MacPhee (Jim "Monster From Green Hell" Davis) attempted a capture, but Jesse and Hank got away. Sadly, Hank was shot and didn't have long to live. Thankfully, our "heroes" came across a friendly mexican family willing to help out. Beautiful daughter Juanita (Estelita) told Jesse of a doctor who could fix poor Hank. Yep, doctor Maria "Narda Onyx" Frankenstein M.D. (Mad Doctor). She and her brother Rudolph had fled their european homeland, settling down in Arizona to continue the family tradition of cranial implantation. Unfortunately for Maria, Rudolph had been poisoning her subjects faster than she could re-animate them! Then, along came Jesse James with loveable lummox Hank Tracy, the perfect specimen; and it's out with the old brain-in with the new, artificial brain! Just like in the history books! The only problem with JJMFD is it's length. At nearly 90 minutes, it tends to drag on a bit (like pulling a cast-iron cactus behind a square-wheeled wagon). It could have easily been cut down to about an hour or so without losing anything close to important. Actually, it might have made a great 15 minute short film...