Rating: 
Summary: Great Horror SPOOF
Review: "Return to Horror High" is a wonderful horror SPOOF. Clearly several of the reviewers had no idea what they were watching and therefor had no right to write a review. Some of the jokes fall flat, and the movie loses momentum towards the end, HOWEVER "Return to Horror High" is not to be missed. Geeks, if you like this movie check out "Night of the Creeps."
Rating: 
Summary: Bill Froehlich's Return to Horror High
Review: As a matter of fact, George Clooney is the first victim in this slasher comedy wannabe. He is also the luckiest, since he does not have to endure the rest of the film.Five years after murders rock a high school, film makers return to shoot a film based on that event. Slowly, members of the cast and crew begin disappearing, indicating the killer is still lurking in the halls of Crippen High. The killer did not do enough slashing, he should have had a stab at this cliched script. All the film makers' characters have been done before. The director is all artistic frenzy, the producer is a sleazy scumbag, the screenwriter is ignored, and the actors are shallow. At one point, an actor playing a corpse with a hatchet in his face asks "what is my motivation?," as if that joke has not been done a thousand times before. The hero here is a local cop and his cute actress girlfriend, who begin wandering around the set, writing down lists of names of the crew who have a connection to the high school. This plays like rejected scenes from "Harriet the Spy," as they happen on a conversation, whip out a notebook, and nod and write. In the end, they do not even solve the murders, as the killer is revealed a'la "Scooby-Doo." Other familiar faces here are Vince Edwards, who proves he will appear in anything for a paycheck, and Maureen McCormick, TV's Marcia Brady, who has an odd role as an oversexed police woman. Clooney does disappear early, but the look on his face tells you he has to do this silliness to fill a resume. The film makers constantly try to trick the viewer with "are you watching the film or the real thing?" scenes that get real old after a while. The ending is insipid, makes no sense, and thankfully the sequel everyone promises then never was made...yet. "Return to Horror High" should be held after class and put into detention. Skip it. This is rated (R) for physical violence, gun violence, mild sexual violence, gore, profanity, female nudity, some sexual content, and sexual references.
Rating: 
Summary: A Hilarious Pic!
Review: Cool sets and very interesting directing make this film good, the EFX make it hilarious! The "killer" has an awesome mask and outfit, and expect to see GEROGE CLOONEY in his early days make a cameo. Also, MARSHA from the Brady Bunch television series is in it, and man does she look good these days. The story will confuse even Einstein, I've watched it a few times and it just doesnt make sense. Oh well, still a cool picture. Pick this up, the price cant be beat and you'll surely watch it a few times.
Rating: 
Summary: A (very) poor man's "Scream"
Review: Featuring George Clooney in an early role and Maureen McCormick (Marcia Marcia *Marcia* Brady) in a comeback role, of sorts. Also featuring a confusing metafictional plot, flat humor, and mostly bad acting. "Return" is yet another slasher-movie-about-slasher-movies. There were several of them made during the eighties, most of which now claim to have been the inspiration for "Scream." None of them were as good as that movie, however, and "Return" is no exception. Although the movie has its moments -- a scene of a cop creeping down a murky hallway whereabouts the killer may be lurking is tense -- there aren't enough of them to sustain the proceedings. If you watch just to see Clooney and McCormick, be forewarned that the former gets bumped off early (first, in fact), and despite a valiant effort McCormick's cop who gets turned on by all the carnage is a joke that just doesn't work.
Rating:
Summary: Horrible
Review: Horrible, to say the least. I am a b movie horror fan, but I can say that this one was rated F. I only paid a few dollsrs for it and that is what it was worth. The "special effects" were horrible, the acting, down right terrible. This is only my opinion, watch it for yourself and see. Also the ending confused the heck out of me. Rent before you buy. Or buy it from me, I'll give it to you free.
Rating:
Summary: Its a just-kidding horror movie
Review: If I had to give this movie a rating on horror value it would rate as the worst scary movie I've ever seen in my entire life. However, this film has much more value than that. It is so painfully, horridly, terribly bad, that its good. Like pop-tarts so cool thier hot . . .first of all George Clooney and Marsha Bradey in a wicked low budget film is enough to make anyone chuckle. This movie also has a terrible plot, and the worst special effects I've ever scene. Its a classic worth viewing again and again. Its better than Cats.
Rating:
Summary: A Horror Comedy Has Never Been This...Dead
Review: In spite of what the title implies, 1987's RETURN TO HORROR HIGH is not a sequel but is, instead, a tongue-in-cheek horror film that is intended as a spoof of the slasher sub-genre wildly popular during the 1980s. Interestingly, it predates Wes Craven's similarly themed (and excellent) SCREAM by almost 10 years. But RETURN TO HORROR HIGH doesn't even come close to Craven's magnum opus in terms of production quality, scares, or laughs. The word RETURN in the title of this film is not just a deliberately misleading joke; it also is a reference to the film's plot. The story involves a group of filmmakers who have "returned" to Crippen High School to make a low-budget fictionalized horror movie about the "real" murders that occurred there 5 or so years earlier. Unfortunately for these movie-mogul wannabees, the killer was never caught, and when members of the cast and crew start getting offed one by one, it looks like history might be repeating itself.... Admittedly, RETURN TO HORROR HIGH is not an example of great horror filmmaking, not even as a spoof, especially when compared to later and better genre films that are both funny and scary--films like SCREAM (1986) and SCARY MOVIE (2000). Its primary failures? One, the flashback structure of the plot is not handled well, easily causing confusion for the average audience member. Two, a lot of the acting is, to put it succinctly, just plain rotten. Three, the special FX are sometimes cheesy. Four, it's nearly impossible to suspend disbelief during the disappointing Scooby-Doo-like revelation of the real killer. And five, there is very little of the copious T&A offered in many low-low-budget horror films as compensation for the low, low production values. Okay, so it's not going to appear on an AFI top-100 film list. Still, RETURN TO HORROR HIGH does have its moments. For example, some of the killings are staged in ways that are both creepy and humorous, the most notable being a decapitation that is done in silhouette, with the head rolling up into the air in subtle slow motion; and a little scene in which a cold-hearted and sadistic biology teacher gets dissected in much the same manner that he forced his students to cut up formaldehyde-saturated frogs. Another cool segment is a dream-within-a-dream piece in which the audience is just as surprised as the dreamer each time one scenario segues into another. That one is carried off quite skillfully, and the scene's ending leaves viewers with both chuckles AND goosebumps. Also notable is the appearance of a few familiar faces. Cinematic heartthrob George Clooney fills a minor role in one of his early career jobs, and in an interesting casting choice, Maureen McCormick--better known to couch potatoes as Marcia Brady on TV's THE BRADY BUNCH--appears as an oversexed police woman who seems to get turned on by all the blood. Gravelly voiced Alex Rocco, ubiquitous character actor of TV and the silver screen, generates a few chuckles playing a lecherous movie producer. And fans of vintage TV should recognize Vince Edwards, the actor who came to fame playing the title character on the show BEN CASEY in the 1960s. Although she is a lesser-known actor with a smaller resume than those listed above, some movie buffs may also recognize Lori Lethin, who here plays one of the main protagonists in the film's "flashback" sequences. Not only is Ms. Lethin quite attractive, she does a pretty good job of acting, too. As is almost always the case with Anchor Bay releases, the DVD offers a nearly pristine transfer of the movie. The disc does present the film in anamorphic widescreen, but other than the trailer, there are no bonus features. Considering the low retail price, lack of extras is no problem for those who want to add the disc to their collections. However, this release of a so-bad-it's-good film would have greatly benefited from the inclusion of a feature commentary with members of the cast or crew. To recap, RETURN TO HORROR HIGH is, overall, a pretty poor film. But it's one of those awful films that is, under the right circumstances, just good enough that it's actually fun to watch, though it's just bad enough that you won't admit you watch it. For some genre fans, then, this film might be one of their guilty pleasures. If so, the Anchor Bay DVD will definitely be something those fans will want to pick up.
Rating:
Summary: Everything Scream Has A ForeFather
Review: Return to Horror High, the beginning of an entire limb of horror that leaned away from trying to be truly horrible, wasn't received with open arms when its spoof qualities were first exhibited and still has problems to this day. The reason it seems to have these issues is because it: (1) lacks quality caliber actors and actresses (yes, it did have George Clooney and his bloody moment did come off rather well, and Marcia Brady was a bit odd to see here as well), (2) lacked an awe-striking budget, (3) sometimes hits a few plotholes has it trudges through various deaths, (4) it has a few laughs along the way. Still, the elements to something enjoyable all manifest themselves herein. Return to Horror High is a movie about someone making a movie about a massacre that took place years removed. In it, they decide to use the scene of the crime itself, people that had knowledge of what had transpired here in the past (including the school's principal, its janitor, and a local policeman), and some portions of truth in their otherwise horror-prone plot. Since its low budget they also want the actors to go that "extra mile" as well, having them pick up the extra slots left open by people "quitting the film" as well as staying on location day and night while its shot. Little do they realize that something is there working with them in the dark with them, something that obviously doesn't mind a sequel. Personally, I enjoyed this movie and I think that other people will enjoy it as well, given the fact that they understand exactly what they are watching. Be warned, however, that it is lacking in many respects and that you have to appreciate the qualities of a good laugh to really enjoy this.
Rating:
Summary: Avoid
Review: Savagely uninvolving by the numbers semi-horror flick that is supposed to be hilarious....No, sadly this flick is a complete waste of your time. The boredom will grow on you, and Clooney displays little talent. Marcia of the Brady Bunch also appears in this as a cop, if you care. Rent "Student Bodies" for an example of a comedy-horror spoof. The pits.
Rating: 
Summary: fun
Review: This campy movie is not one to analize but to just sit back and enjoy. We know what happened to George Clooney after "Horror High" but where is Brendan Hughes?
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