Rating: 
Summary: Worst movie EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Review: I rented this movie at Blockbuster and I don't understand how they could have this so-called movie as part of their stock. It was sooo bad. Worst movie I have ever seen!!!
Rating: 
Summary: Terror Toons for Oscar Gold
Review: I Sat down one day and my friends had rented our usual cheesy horror film from the local Blockbuster.Tonight's choice was Terror Toons.The incredible CGI and oscar worthy acting keeps ur heart racing this whole film.Freddy Kreuger,Jason Vorhees,Michael Myers these are all names we think of when we think of horror well after watching this film nobody strikes fear into my heart like the viscous duo of Dr.Carnage and Max Assassin.Not to be forgotten is the acting of Lizzie Borden who you can find naked anywhere on the web she reaches deep into her soul to make this film work.I recommend this to anyone who loves cheesy horror flicks and if you like this movie I recommend Scarecrow Slayer, and The Miner's Massacre.
Rating:
Summary: No words can describe how miserable I feel
Review: I'm so confused. Was this movie SUPPOSED to be scary and gory? Or was it supposed to be funny? Because it was none of the above. You know when something is SO bad that it becomes funny? Well this movie was SO bad that it went way past the funny level, and caused immense feelings of disturbance and rage. I wanted to hurt someone or myself after watching this. Whoever says this movie is gory must have half a brain. The peoples guts that were being ripped out was clearly cooked spaghetti and lentils. I couldnt believe what I was seeing. It also didnt help that during every "gory" part all u hear is the Mad Doctor's irritating, shrill, corny laughter, a bicycle horn honking, and morphed circus music playing, accompanied by the purple Gorilla jumping around like a moron making stupid Chimp skreechy noises in the background. (I have a monkey plush toy with the EXACT sound effect as the gorilla sidekick..honest) This movie was so low budget and..well just bad. I'm all for independent and undeground films. But this was worse something u would see on your local cable access television show. The "special effects" were ridiculous. Remember computers in the 80s and early 90s? Try to think of the Print Shop program and all of their marvelous graphics. Those are the graphics that were used. Sorry to be a spoiler, but when someone was cut apart, they appropriately copy and pasted an image of a cartoon vulture. The vulture was a still picture, no movements at all. Who would have enough self esteem to add their names to the credits of this piece of garbage? The devil apparently. (yes it says made by The Devil in the opening credits) I mean, I'm ashamed of myself for having watched the entire thing. The previews before seeing this movie were priceless gems also. One movie has Ron Jeremy in it (whats with all the porn stars in these movies??). Another one is called Carnage: The Legend of Quiltface. These people put out a movie about a mass murderer named Quiltface. Need I say more?? Normally I would say don't rent this movie, however I kind of want the rest of the world to experience what my friend and I did. We had a good time ripping on it, but in the end it just left us hollow shells of human beings. We will never recover.
Rating:
Summary: MST3K vs Terror Toons
Review: It was a rainy "memorial day weekend", the local theatres were mobbed, so a friend and I rented this steaming pile of ...
Yeah, I've made intenstinal sculptures that were more appealing than this mess. I fully expected to MST3K this movie to death, and oh boy, did I ever. The VHS version has the producer/director/some dude behind the scenes, come out in a leather jacket, spiked hair and the worst "i'm a bad guy fear me" tone in the history of cinema and deliver the entire plot in 1 minute, before the actual "feature" begins. The plot, the acting, the sets, the characters... it's all toilet tissue. The single greatest special effect was the 4 seconds of nudity provided by the "little girl" (who looked like a 20something stripper with amazing fake boobs, Lizzie Borden? yeah..right) Not to mention this cross-dressing troglodyte who through 9 pounds of make-up, hair, and nail extensions was unable to pull off 12 lines of dialogue (as the MOM character no less!) in anything resembling a high range voice. Indeed, the gales of laughter my friend and I received when "she" attempted to 'scream' and at the conclusion of the movie, and "her" voice was lower than "DAD's".... reminded me of Herman Munster in drag.... sad. (Eddie Izzard you aren't...)
I can go on and on about this train wreck, I am still trying to figure out how the heck this junk made it to the shelf of my local video store......
Rating: 
Summary: Jerry Macaluso bombs again...
Review: Looks like anything this executive producer involves himself in will result in disappointment, disaster, and a rather pedestrian effort. Caveat emptor!
Rating:
Summary: So awesome
Review: My other review might be too graphic so here's a better one.... definitely get this movie, sit with your buddies, fly to the moon with you smokey nuggets in a bowl packed tight and enjoy the ride... that's how good this movie is.
Rating:
Summary: It's been a year and I still feel nauseous!
Review: My two friends and I watched this movie over one year ago, and it nearly ruined our friendship.
This movie leaves you feeling cold and distant, like your entire city being nuked while you were away, and finding everyone you know charred to a crisp.
I was asked by another friend one evening at the video store if we should rent it, I told them I would rather set my arms and legs on fire and watch them burn then feed them to my neighbors dog than watch that movie again. He thought I was joking.I even heard that American soldiers forced Iraqi prisoners to watch this film at Abu Ghraib prison, but found that they drew the line at sexual abuse and attack dogs, this movie was too much even for insurgents.
Please, do not watch this movie unless you are on the verge of suicide, and need one last good reason to end your own life.
Rating:
Summary: The horror.....the horror......the horror...........
Review: Oh my god...to all you reviewers who put 2 stars or less and suggested people not see this...I ask you humbly for your most sincere apologies. I did not heed to your warnings and now...part of me is gone...part of me will never return... You know in Mystery Science Theater 3000 when our heroes say a movie hurts them? I always thought they were just kidding, but now I know perfectly what they mean. This movie HURT me. It did. I would rather hit Omaha Beach with a pea shooter and bright orange uniform than watch this movie again. I don't know what kind of cartoons this Joe Castro guy watched as a kid, but I don't remember any thing like this. Even cheap French cartoons don't get as bad as this...and might I add the two main villains ARE NOT CARTOONS! They're guys in rubber suits! And what little they do animate is awful. I'm at an art college, and I do things for class projects that have come out better animated than what these guys did. The special affects in this makes the giant insect films of the 1950's look like "Jurassic Park." The music got god-awful annoying after a while. At first I was like, "Cool, its like a poor man's Danny Elfman." I quickly learned the err of my judgement. They play the theme through out the whole movie, almost nonstop. Its the same damn two notes over and over and over and over and over and over again. This is accompanied by the Doctor's constant cackling, which is also just as nonstop. These two sounds combined make a soundtrack you can easily slit your wrists to. But you know what? This whole movie never ends. It just won't end! At one point I thought to myself "My god when is this thing over?" only to look at my DVD info and find out I had only gone 30 minutes in. They drag every scene out into oblivion, presenting one continuous bad joke to another. The plot of the devil using cartoons is all well but not done in this way. Its kind of a silly plot too...the devil wants to use Saturday morning cartoons to kill people. This was obviously under the assumption people still watched Saturday morning cartoons. My pondering about the guy that made this thing was answered looking at the special features ("special" being a choice word). The opening interview with Joe Castro has him talking about his film: "How'd I get the cast from Terror Toons? The cast of Terror Toons is like...you know when I look at Terror Toons I look at the cast of of every body you know...you know...its been about a year since we made the movie...every body seems to have gone on and done other things..." Wow, with such a great stream of consciousness I'm amazed he could even write a script, let alone combine letters to form words. Don't see this movie. No. Don't. Just trust me. You'll go through the pain I did. No, don't even see it if you like bad movies. This isn't "funny ha ha" its "funny oh my brain is melting." Don't see it. Just trust me. Don't watch it. I'm serious. Please. I'll die happy knowing I've spared other souls. Don't see the movie. Don't.
Rating:
Summary: The worst movie you'll ever want to definitely rent!
Review: OK, one question in this review: Were you a fan of Mystery Science Theatre 3000? Those who answered no, hit back, there's NO way you'll want to even TOUCH This video. If you answered yes, I recommend renting this movie - only buying it if you want to drive friends crazy when they stop by from out of town. The gore in this that's much hyped is SO laughable in it's attempt to be over the top, that's not much of a factor unless someone is really bothered by it - for example, whenever anything 'gory' happens that MIGHT look disturbing, they hold the camera on it for 5-10 seconds to provide "maximum gore" level. The problem with this is that, simply put, effects fall apart when you study them too closely! You'll see the brains are oatmeal, that the top of someone's head that just got carved off is quite obviously a hat, as is the exposed brain which is obviously liver, etc. Why do you want this movie then? Because it's so bad, it's good. NOTE: IT IS BEST WATCHED IN A GROUP SETTING! We had a blast ripping the movie to pieces as it progressed, steadily getting more and more ridiculas. Even the VHS version has the behind the scenes section, which is great - it repeats the same scenes over and over and when they ask people if they like how the movie came out, they ACTUALLY pause and think about it for seconds before trying to lie their way out of it. You also get the classic moment where one of the actress likens one of the special effects experiences to her previous role in a movie titled ... In fact, that about sums up the whole movie: Gore porn. There's less than 4 seconds of actual nudity but the acting, video quality, sound quality, plausability - that's pretty much what it seems like. So rent this movie, turn down the lights, and watch it all the way through - the Brain Damaged trailers really set the mood with the awfulness, too, so don't skip them!!
Rating:
Summary: total garbage
Review: stupid, disgusting, self promoting garbage. a movie, ANY movie, needs a reason to exist (high or low budget)...this doesnt have that. the producer, director, writer, etc talks about how he didnt pay any actors, filmed the whole thing in 3 days in a friends house, for 23,000.00! it looks like it is more of a film student's project than a movie meant for release. stay away...If you want to see something better in this vein, rent blood sucking freaks or faces of death.
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