Vampires Vs. Zombies

Rating:
Summary: 5 stars for comedic value, 0 for actual horror
Review: I feel honored to be the first to review this "masterpiece" of horror that pits vampires vs zombies. To sum it up, the movie is one of the most hilarious things you will ever witness. The zombies getting run over, the "General", the fact that vampires have no real special abilities, the 10 mph speed limit imposed on all vehicles in the movie, and that fact that ***spoiler*** zombies and vampires never battle each other add up to a memorable evening of laughs.

Rating:
Summary: Canadians are slow
Review: I'll give 'em this -exposure and focus were ALMOST flawless (except for the pull focus -whoops wrong way). But... How can I put this? Writing this movie I imagine Vince said to himself "I know people and I know what they're going to like. Lesbian vampires have always packed 'em in! Let's get some of those!"
Then we have the zombies -are they zombies? Vince? Really? Some guy in the middle of the road with black face paint on and half a smile. Next time ask him to roll his eyes back and moan or something. Anything, come on! Who gave you the money to make this anyway?
I could go on and on however I'll say just this -If you EVER wanted to know how to screw up EVERYTHING in your movie yet still make it actually watchable (I can hear and see this film just fine) and/or vaguely resemble a story, watch this picture. It is a testament to deluded filmmakers everywhere. Myself included.