Kingdom of the Spiders

Rating:
Summary: Classic '70s sci-fi trash
Review: In yet another one of those don't-mess-with-Mother-Nature science-fiction flicks, William Shatner plays a small-town veterinarian who, along with a university researcher (Bolling), tries to figure out why thousands of tarantulas have suddenly descended upon Verde Valley, Arizona. Shatner gives a surprisingly restrained and effective performance, which makes you wonder what he could have done if he hadn't wasted most of his career making all those Star Trek movies. The apocalyptic, supposed-to-blow-your-mind ending is utterly preposterous, but that's part of what makes this film such a priceless piece of '70s drive-in trash.

Two and a half stars out of five.

Rating:
Summary: Chemical toilets ain't got nothin' on these tarantulas.
Review: Kingdom of the Spiders (John "Bud" Cardos, 1977)

I remember first seeing this movie on television (it must have been its TV premiere, as it was no more than a year after its theatrical release) back in the late seventies and being terrified of it. Well, twenty-five years later, someone decided to release a twenty-fifth anniversary DVD. Mutant tarantulas and Bill Shatner-- how could I resist?

There is a difference between good bad films (Dark Star, for example) and bad bad films (The Beast Within, for example). The best way to delineate it is to call it the Cheese Factor. The higher the cheese factor, the better the movie, pure and simple. (What defines the cheese factor is a matter of discussion. Many people think Attack of the Killer Tomatoes has one of the highest cheese factors on the planet. I am not one of them.) Kingdom of the Spiders has Cheez Whiz coming out its ears. Shatner and his then-wife, Marcy Lafferty (Star Trek: The Motion Picture), seem to be in a race to prove once and for all which of them can out-bad-act the other one. Spaghetti-western staple Woody Strode turns in a performance that would be great if his part weren't so horribly written. Playboy centerfold Tiffany Bolling, as the female lead, turns in the kind of performance one would expect of a Playboy centerfold. The spiders are roughly as terrifying as fruit bats. Even the cows look like they'd rather be in another movie. This, folks, is classic cheese.

It all starts when a rancher (Strode)'s prize calf gets sick. He calls in the local vet, Rack Hansen (Shatner), who's never seen anything like it. He sends some samples up to Flagstaff, who send them back with an entomologist (Bolling) who brings dire warning-- the calf was killed by spider venom. Everyone's concerned that the farm will be quarantined except the mayor (veteran character actor Roy Engel), who's concerned that such a quarantine will ruin the 1977 Verde Valley County Fair, thus setting the scene as so many mayors have done in so many monster movies. You know what's coming next if you've seen any two of them.

Kingdom of the Spiders features absolutely awful special effects (check out the very last scene, especially), truly terrible acting, and a horrid script. About the only good thing one can say about it is that it's perfectly-paced. There's never a moment where the film drags, though it does threaten to a few times at the beginning. Despite all of the above, however, if you're looking for a really good bad movie, pick this up. **

Rating:
Summary: Great big, ugly spiders run amuck in this creep-fest
Review: Kingdom of the Spiders starts off a little shakily, but it gradually evolves into a creep-fest of great, eight-legged proportions. I don't know how many tarantulas there are in the world, but I'm pretty sure at least 95% of them were cast in this movie. As with any Shatner film, you get the bonus of having two movies in one. At one level, this film is all about gigantic spiders run amuck, but it also serves as an excuse for Shatner to work his magic on the ladies. Interestingly enough, Marcy Lafferty, Shatner's wife at the time, has a role in the film playing the sister-in-law of he-man veterinarian "Rack" Hansen (Shatner). It's a strange role; a widow for two years, she seems quite taken with "Rack" and the two even engage in a little lasso fun on the farm until she mistakenly calls him by his dead brother's name, but later on, he rather blatantly flaunts another woman, entomologist Diane Ashley (Tiffany Bolling) in her face. But I digress.

This film is really all about the spiders. The first victim is a poor rancher's prize calf, the one sure to win first prize at the upcoming fair. Unsure of the cause of death, "Rack" sends samples to the university in Flagstaff; soon Diane Ashley shows up to tell him the death was due to spider venom. Folks don't want to believe such a far-fetched thing at first, but these tarantulas are all business and not a bit shy about it. A huge spider hill is found on the rancher's property, which our heroes attempt to burn (forgetting to burn both sides of it, though); this apparently makes the spiders a little mad, and the full-scale invasion of town is soon launched. Our heroes find themselves holed up in a cottage in the middle of nowhere; surrounded by spiders all over the place, the chances of their survival appear to be worse than slim to none, all of which leads up to a somewhat unusual but more than acceptable ending.

If you don't like spiders, you don't want to watch this movie. I mean, there are tarantulas everywhere; I was more than ready for this film to end three-fourths of the way through it. I don't mind spiders that much, as long as I am only watching them appear somewhere else, but this movie puts so many spiders on the screen you start wondering if some of them will fall through your monitor or TV screen. For this type of critter invasion film, Kingdom of the Spiders works incredibly well. While there are a few weak spots in the plot, the filmmakers succeed remarkably well by going all out in terms of making the viewing experience as spiderific as possible.

Rating:
Summary: A Man Named Rack and the Spiders He Loved
Review: Kingdom of the Spiders was a childhood favorite of mine once upon a time, always feeling me with a sense of fear when I thought about the Midwest for a couple of reasons; one being mounding-building web-spinning tarantulas and the other being scary, overacting creatures like William Shatner. Now that I've grown up a bit I no longer fear those web-spinning, mound-building tarantulas nor do I fear William Shatner, because I know that they are both figments of some director's overactive imagination and nothing more.

The movie begins with "Rack" Hanson (Big Willy) - nicknamed because of a pool-playing humiliation he suffered at the hands of his brother and not because of his fortitude with the ladies - introducing us to his family life, that of taking care of his dead brother's lovely wife and her strange young daughter. Besides those duties, which include wrestling with his deceased brother's wife until she calls him by the wrong name as they ride through the country on horseback, Rack also enjoys being the town veterinarian. This job puts him in a rather curious situation as Walter Colby, Rack's rancher friend, brings his calf in that "was going to win first prize in the upcoming county fair." Well, Big Willy does all he can to save the poor beast, taking blood and staring at it profusely, but nothing seems to help and, before he knows it, the beast dies. Fearing some possible need for quarantine, he then sends the cow's blood off to be tested and is greeted a week or so later by a female entomologist (Rack's weakness) named Diane Ashley that tells him that the cow died from a massive dose of poison. Both he and Colby think that this is some sort of joke at first until it happens again and then they discover those strange spidermounds on his property, ones that the Mayor of the town refuses to let be quarantined for fear of the repercussions it would have on his fair, and then the "five times the venom of a normal spider" fun really begins.

For anyone expecting a movie that could be anything more than some fun with some dying, a lot of it in fact, and a less-than-happy-ending, think again. Still, for anyone looking for a good way to burn some of that B-movie, insects-taking-over-the-world midnight oil, this is the perfect place for a picnic.

Rating:
Summary: Spiders, spiders everywhere, what's a Shatner to do?
Review: Small, hairy creatures terrorize William Shatner, and I'm not talking about his toupees. Kingdom of the Spiders (1977), directed by stuntman/actor/director/producer John 'Bud' Cardos who later directed the miserably dismal Outlaw of Gor (1989). The film stars William `Mr. Tambourine Man' Shatner as Dr. Robert 'Rack' Hansen, along with once aspiring singer and fairly attractive Tiffany Bolling as entomologist Diane Ashley, and Woody Strode as Walter Colby, a small time rancher with big time problems of the hairy, creepy eight legged kind.

The movie starts of with Colby's prize calf becoming sick of `mysterious' causes, but seeing as how the title of this feature is Kingdom of the Spiders, it's no big task for the viewer to assume the spiders got at it, but the characters aren't let in on it until a little later in the movie. Also, we are given a number of scurrying, point of view shots on the ground near the calf prior to its' becoming ill, indicating that many small, quick creatures had their way with the bovine. Dr. Robert 'Rack' Hansen, the local veterinarian, is called, and he takes some samples from the dying calf, and sends them off to the `big city' for further analysis. Thus enters Diane Ashely, entomologist to further investigate the matter, and also to provide a rather awkward love interest subplot for Shatner's character. She informs Rack that the calf died of spider venom, to which he has a hard time believing, until Mr. Colby speaks of a giant spider mound on his property, one crawling with tarantulas up the wazoo. Diane is amazed to see such a concentration of spiders in one place, and proposes some rather lame theories to help justify the main crux of the film, namely why thousands, even millions of spiders that are about to descend on the small, Arizona town. Oh yeah, she also finds out that the spiders have venom like five times more toxic than normal. Well, some measures, rather futile ones at that, are initiated to try and kill the wee, hairy varmints, but to no avail. I love how the character of mayor, between a rock and a hard place with concern about an upcoming fair that generates a great deal of revenue for the small town, acts in borderline criminal fashion in dealing with the spiders. The similarity between this character and that of Mayor Larry Vaughn (Murray Hamilton) from the vastly superior Jaws (1975) is unmistakable, but while Mayor Vaughn suffered internally for his folly, the mayor in this film just meets a rather nasty end. I know it's not fair to compare these two films, as Jaws, in my opinion, is one of the best films ever made which spawned so many copycats trying to cash in on the success of a particular genre, namely man vs. nature.

Shatner hams it up a bit as you might expect, but that added to film for me, rather than detracting. There was an odd and creepy subplot involving the widowed wife of Shatner's character's brother as a potential love interest, but that was put to rest fairly quickly, to which I was thankful. The spiders are the main attraction here, and the film certainly doesn't skimp, providing, at times, hundreds of the hairy little creatures, certainly more than enough to give this viewer a serious case of the willies. I couldn't even begin to imagine having to work around so many live spiders...I give credit to the actors for this point, and it's obvious for the scenes involving a character having to suffer spiders on their person the revulsion was real. These are the kind of reactions hard to get with CGI work. My biggest problem was with the music as it didn't always fit and became fairly annoying at times. It's interesting when music works in a movie, I don't always notice its' presence, but when it doesn't, it really stands out, like it did here for me. I don't want to give too much away, but I will say the ending was typical of these types of movies throughout the 70's.

Good Times Home Video offers a reasonably good looking print in full screen format, but don't be expecting any special features as there are none, not even a trailer. For the price, I wasn't expecting a whole lot, but given the better than average quality of the picture, I was pleasantly surprised. If you're in the mood for some good, creepy crawly fun, you could certainly do a lot worse.

Cookieman108

Rating:
Summary: Spiders, spiders everywhere, what's a Shatner to do?
Review: Small, hairy creatures terrorize William Shatner, and I'm not talking about his toupees. Kingdom of the Spiders (1977), directed by stuntman/actor/director/producer John 'Bud' Cardos who later directed the miserably dismal Outlaw of Gor (1989).

The film stars William 'Mr. Tambourine Man' Shatner as Dr. Robert 'Rack' Hansen, along with once aspiring singer and fairly attractive Tiffany Bolling as entomologist Diane Ashley, and Woody Strode as Walter Colby, a small time rancher with big time problems of the hairy, creepy eight legged kind.

The movie starts of with Colby's prize calf becoming sick of 'mysterious' causes, but seeing as how the title of this feature is Kingdom of the Spiders, it's no big task for the viewer to assume the spiders got at it, but the characters aren't let in on it until a little later in the movie. Also, we are given a number of scurrying, point of view shots on the ground near the calf prior to its' becoming ill, indicating that many small, quick creatures had their way with the bovine. Dr. Robert 'Rack' Hansen, the local veterinarian, is called, and he takes some samples from the dying calf, and sends them off to the 'big city' for further analysis. Thus enters Diane Ashely, entomologist to further investigate the matter, and also to provide a rather awkward love interest subplot for Shatner's character. She informs Rack that the calf died of spider venom, to which he has a hard time believing, until Mr. Colby speaks of a giant spider mound on his property, one crawling with tarantulas up the wazoo. Diane is amazed to see such a concentration of spiders in one place, and proposes some rather lame theories to help justify the main crux of the film, namely why thousands, even millions of spiders that are about to descend on the small, Arizona town. Oh yeah, she also finds out that the spiders have venom like five times more toxic than normal.

Well, some measures, rather futile ones at that, are initiated to try and kill the wee, hairy varmints, but to no avail. I love how the character of mayor, between a rock and a hard place with concern about an upcoming fair that generates a great deal of revenue for the small town, acts in borderline criminal fashion in dealing with the spiders. The similarity between this character and that of Mayor Larry Vaughn (Murray Hamilton) from the vastly superior Jaws (1975) is unmistakable, but while Mayor Vaughn suffered internally for his folly, the mayor in this film just meets a rather nasty end. I know it's not fair to compare these two films, as Jaws, in my opinion, is one of the best films ever made which spawned so many copycats trying to cash in on the success of a particular genre, namely man vs. nature.

Shatner hams it up a bit as you might expect, but that added to film for me, rather than detracting. There was an odd and creepy subplot involving the widowed wife of Shatner's character's brother as a potential love interest, but that was put to rest fairly quickly, to which I was thankful. The spiders are the main attraction here, and the film certainly doesn't skimp, providing, at times, hundreds of the hairy little creatures, certainly more than enough to give this viewer a serious case of the willies. I couldn't even begin to imagine having to work around so many live spiders...I give credit to the actors for this point, and it's obvious for the scenes involving a character having to suffer spiders on their person the revulsion was real. These are the kind of reactions hard to get with CGI work. My biggest problem was with the music as it didn't always fit and became fairly annoying at times. It's interesting when music works in a movie, I don't always notice its' presence, but when it doesn't, it really stands out, like it did here for me. I don't want to give too much away, but I will say the ending was typical of these types of movies throughout the 70's.

Good Times Home Video offers a reasonably good looking print in full screen format, but don't be expecting any special features as there are none, not even a trailer. For the price, I wasn't expecting a whole lot, but given the better than average quality of the picture, I was pleasantly surprised. If you're in the mood for some good, creepy crawly fun, you could certainly do a lot worse.

Cookieman108

Rating:
Summary: GOODTIMES WITH RACK
Review: The quality of this DVD is suprisingly good, considering it's from Goodtimes Video. Like another reviewer stated, too bad it's fullframe.

This is a entertaining movie. For the money, I can't think of any reason why you shouldn't get this. It's just a fun movie. There must be some reason this movie works and other movie with bigger budgets fail. I can just imagine the director gathering the cast and crew and telling them, look, I know we're not making Citizen Kane, but let's make a good movie. Something like that. The cast all give solid performances and seem to be having fun. A scene that is typical is when the sheriff tries to tell a woman that her husband is dead. He is unable with words, he grabs her in silence, hugs her, and the camera views them from the distance. I didn't expect that. Kinda moving.

Rating:
Summary: GOODTIMES WITH RACK
Review: The quality of this DVD is suprisingly good, considering it's from Goodtimes Video. Like another reviewer stated, too bad it's fullframe.

This is a entertaining movie. For the money, I can't think of any reason why you shouldn't get this. It's just a fun movie. There must be some reason this movie works and other movie with bigger budgets fail. I can just imagine the director gathering the cast and crew and telling them, look, I know we're not making Citizen Kane, but let's make a good movie. Something like that. The cast all give solid performances and seem to be having fun. A scene that is typical is when the sheriff tries to tell a woman that her husband is dead. He is unable with words, he grabs her in silence, hugs her, and the camera views them from the distance. I didn't expect that. Kinda moving.

Rating:
Summary: Way Over The Top.....
Review: This is campy at it's best.....but sooo worth the watching! I spotted this gem of a DVD in the Halloween section of my local Wal-Mart and just had to have it! I remember watching this one in the late 80s....and it is sooo good for a "cult" flick. The spiders are pretty creepy....and the acting is wwwwwaaaayyyy over the top! I am sure glad to see this one on DVD!

Rating:
Summary: Too many spiders!
Review: This movie is jam-packed with spiders. If you have arachnophobia, you might want to watch something else! If you've read my review for Goodtimes Home Video's edition of Night Of The Living Dead, I bought these two movies in a two pack, and figured it was a great deal. I figured right, as both movies were cool. When I was watching this movie, I had a bad case of the creepy-crawlies and got really itchy. In addition to the killer spiders, there's some cool action scenes (like a plane crash), interesting human drama (between Rack, Diane, and Terry), a message about the environment and a freaky ending. Check it out!