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Vampires - Los Muertos

Vampires - Los Muertos

List Price: $19.94
Your Price: $17.95
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Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Not bad, Not good..
Review: If you are a TRUE fan of vamp films pick this up...nothing stands out here, nothing special...just a same ol same ol vamp film...hunters look for vamps and kill em,...the end...no plot twists, no big bang special ending, and not alot of vampire scenes either, NO menacing "theres the main vampire this is gonna rock" scene either....the original was definitely the best..this one is O.K...
Bon jovi's sword couldve seen some better swordplay..., oh well, lets hope carpenter directs a finale!!

this was entertaining, but mediocre as vampire films go, its just average.
this film is for die hard vamp fans mainly...if youre looking for something different or refreshing for the vamp genre, this ISNT it!

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: The Surfboard of Doom
Review: It is Thursday which means in this apartment it is bad movie and pizza night and the movie I chose was this one: Vampires - Los Muertos. I was prepared for a stinker. Even though Carpenter's name is on it, the property was just licensed from him or some such thing. I settled down with a beer and pizza and watched the film unveil itself as Jon Bon Jovi works for a mysterious Van Helsing Group and gets hired to take out a 'colony' of vampires by an anonymous source. He suspects it is the Catholics because they lost quite a few hunters a few years before (a not so subtle nod to the first movie.)

His mission is to put together a vampire hunting unit. In a nice turn of events, all the guys he is supposed to gather get killed or are dead. The monastary he visits to find the priest from the first movie (who died before he got there) gets wiped out by the vampire and only one survives. Yada yada yada, the movie goes on and he collects a rag tag group of unlikely hunters (a vampire who is on a drug that allows her not to be a vampire, a 16-year-old boy, the "priest" who hunted maybe once, and a big black guy the Van Helsing Group sent to help him.) Who are the turncoats? You know somebody has to, I'll leave that part a secret.

The movie kind of revolves around the Black Cross yet again and a Master Vampire wanting to be able to move around in sunlight (kind of like that medicine the vampire chick is taking...hmmm.)

There are some great moments in the movie though. In the beginning Jon is driving this jeep with a surfboard in the passenger seat. It seems odd until he has to clear out a church of vampires and we discover the surfboard is actually the case for his wooden lances and other weapons. It's cool because it made me think of a cartoon that could stem from this: Jon Bon Jovi and his Surfboard of Doom!

All in all I like this kind of movie, not a lot of thought, just enough twists that they aren't 100% predictable and unlike Blade II where he knows who the traitors are, poor Derek Bliss (JBJ) finds himself befuddled.

The movie played out like a bad rpg video game, though, collecting characters, having little asides, watching expendable characters die on cue and putting in the predictable little twist ending. What twist, yeah right, as if you couldn't guess that Jon Bon Jovi would make it through the movie without ... well, I guess you'll have to watch it to find out.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Fairly Good Sequal!!
Review: John Carpenters Vampires Los Muertos is a fairly good sequal. I have recently seen this movie on the Starz Action Channel and it was pretty good. The acting was pretty good and so was the music score, but it is basicly a rehash of the first one which is in my book a classic John Carpenter film. We baiscly have more vampire hunters who is headed by Jon Bon Jovi, a girl who is part vampire, and a master vampire who is after the black cross. The difference's in this film is that the half vampire girl takes pills that allow her to be out in the sunlight and help her with the craving. The master vampire is a woman who in my opinion is more violent and less seductive then the one in the first film. I was upset that they never mentioned any of the events from part 1. But other then that it was enjoyable, and it also left it open for another sequal. Hopefully if they make another one they will talk about the events of the previous films.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Sexy Slayer
Review: Jon Bon Jovi plays incredibly sexy vampire bounty hunter Derek Bliss of the Van Helsing Group. Derek gets hired by an anonymous client to go on an expedition to Mexico and eradicate a colony of vampires, the only catch is the client wants a hunter team and Bliss is a loner. The only problem is the hunters on Bliss's list have been exposed and the vampires are one step ahead of him eliminating his teammates.

Along the way, he meets Sancho (Diego Luna), a teen whose willing to join the team because his mother needs the money, Zoe (Natasha Gregson Wagner), a woman who was bitten during sex but is under control due to an experimental drug she obtained in Mexico City, Rodrigo (Christian De Le Fuente), a priest from the Mt. Grace Monastery from the original film, and Raf Collins, a hunter from Memphis sent by his agent. They become his team.

Their opposition is a master vampire (Arly Joyer), who is after the Black Cross, which through a ritual has the power to give vampires the ability to walk in the daylight unharmed.

I agree with many of the other reviews that this movie didn't go beyond the original as far as storyline; but Jon Bon Jovi's performance makes it worth seeing anyway. I'd say it's one of the better B-Movies. I hope they make a sequel!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Jon rules
Review: Jon Bon jovi proves he is multi talented. We know (or you should know) he's a fantastic singer and he demonstrates a pretty good acting ability in this vampire flick. In this movie,he is a white mans version of "Blade" as he seeks vampires to kill. Good cast of characters was assembled and a decent storyline.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Nothing Original, but still Good!
Review: Jon Bon Jovi stars as: Vampire hunting Derek Bliss (I know its cheesy, but I LIKE the name LOL)who is deployed to New Mexico by a top-secret vampire hunting agency. Once there, Derek Sent to Mexico, where he must gather a group of allies to hunt and kill a nest of evil, cruel and incredibly stupid vampires.

Despite the 'good guys must stake evil vampires' plot, Los Muerteos had its moments. Jon Bon Jovi does well, as the laid back and practical Bliss, and the supporting cast are completely up to the task of portraying a band of 'hunters,' with enthusiasm.

Things I could've done without: some stereotypical characters: crusty old coot, young sidekick, and the 'ditzy female psychic whose mind is linked to the arch-vampire,' and the stereotypical I'm so eeevvvvvilllll villain who seems to have no motivation, other than to run around and act stupid. I mean, a SMART vampire could've easily outwitted Bliss and the gang without a drop of blood spilled. Its too bad, because I found the master vampire/ss interesting, and a little backstory on her wouldn't have been amiss.

Overall a light entertaining film, with nothing new, featuring a decent cast.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: This is a Vampire movie?
Review: Jon Bon Jovi. Ok that sums up reasons to watch this movie. Now onto every reason not to...it doesn't follow hardly anything I've ever known about Vampires, it lacks action in a major way, it is slow moving...or maybe it just seems that way because you have to force yourself to stay awake through it. If you are a die hard Jon Bon Jovi fan, like myself, buy it, he looks great. If you want a good vampire more go get "Interview with the Vampire", "Queen of the Damned", or "Blade" and "Blade 2", those are vampire movies worth watching.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: terrible
Review: Not only does Bon Jovi leaves his supposedly reasonable acting chops at home with this one, but so does everyone else it seems. The acting and dialogue are seriously lame. A very poor "sequel" to John Carpenter's bunker-busting original.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: VAMPIRES: LOS MUERTOS
Review: Once again, John Carpenter hands the reigns to his friend, Tommy Lee Wallace, who manages to churn out a somewhat crap-tastic "sequel" to John Carpenter's Vampires. I put quotes around the word sequel because virtually none of the first film's characters return, and really only the title and basic mythos of the earlier film comes into play. That said, Wallace manages to make Carpenter's Vampires look like the icon of classy vampire horror (and it was FAR from perfect). This one is ridiculously violent right from the start (in an unintentionally comedic way), and it also manages some very poor performances, shoddy production values, and a lackluster plotline that has more holes than a sewer grating. The score, however, deserves honorable mention - it's excellent.

So is all of this entertaining? Well, yes, actually it is. Bad movies can be fun too, after all, and Los Muertos is a BAD movie in the best sense of the word. And it's not all laughable either - it's actually possible to get lost in the midst of the cheesiness and truly enjoy yourself for a while, depending on your own personal tastes. If you're a sucker for vampire movies especially (no pun intended), by all means, give Los Muertos a go.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Another nonsense in the name of horror
Review: Reviews of this movie usually start with "don't be fooled, this is not a Carpenter's movie."
I wasn't fooled. Since Carpenter put his signature on Vampires and Ghosts of Mars, he could easily do that here as well because movie is equally stupid and infantile as these previous two. What makes these people do movies this foolish, one may ask. Well, the answer has to be money, and in Bon Jovi case some type of macho posturing.
What are you going to see?
Body builder impersonating dedicated handyman impersonating dedicated priest.
An ugly frail women impersonating stronger than "average" vampire.
American teenager impersonating Mexican teenager.
Another frail, not ugly though, woman, impersonating victim.
A black guy playing unusually stupid vampire "hunter."
And a bunch of statists that die in implied but not consumed action sequences.

Anything new you have not seen before? I guess that must be a surfboard weapon package. Anything new that you have not heard before? With lines like "I bet it will hurt you bad if I pull this trigger" or something like that, there is nothing very smart here.

I think that both Carpenter and Craven ... and their cohorts, should be demistified as "classics." These guys are making movies for mediocre and subintelligent moviegoers, there is nothing remotely "classic" and worth viewing in their flicks.


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