Rating: 
Summary: Unmotivated nonsense
Review: I love and am very forgiving of horror films. This is a mess of an homage, chock full of more unmotivated opticals and changes in frame rate and film stock than even the most laughable cable-access talk show. Annoying, moronic, and desperate for genre-fans approval.
Rating:
Summary: What was that all about?
Review: I'm afraid I have to agree with all of the other folks who gave this a one-star rating--the movie just doesn't cut it. I think Rob Zombie is pretty cool, and I had high hopes for this movie being really scary, but I was sadly disappointed. I'm not exactly a hardcore horror movie fan (I'm really kind of a coward), and something like "Halloween" can keep me from sleeping for a night or two, but "House of 1000 Corpses" didn't disturb my dreams in the least. There wasn't even one instance where I wanted to cover my eyes! All in all, the acting was miserable, the characters empty, the plotline nonexistent, and worst of all I couldn't figure it out because there was no exposition! We know almost nothing about Dr. Satan, yet he seems to be the main force in the plot (or what passes for a plot); we don't know how many people he's killed or even what he is exactly, since he doesn't seem to be human at all. And here's something to think about: How could 1000 people, presumably, disappear from such a nowhere town without someone taking notice? But I can't completely toss it down the toilet because Captain Spaulding was so darn cool. I wonder why so much time was spent developing this character and then he disappeared from the movie? I would have liked it so much better if he had been the main character. I think maybe Rob Zombie should have concentrated on making his movie a little less "funky" and a little more sturdy in terms of what makes a horror movie good--engaging characters, terrifying villains, psychological suspense, and scares that will make you jump out of your seat.
Rating: 
Summary: this movie rules!!!!
Review: This is the kinda of horror movie that brings me back to my younger years. It had that same creepy, demented style of 80's horror flicks that were so cool. The kind of movies you and your friends would rent for a sleep over. I'm really tired of [...]Freddy Prinze jr. horror flicks out nowadays. They're so lame they might as well be a GAP commercial. Sheri Moon is the hottest psycho ever!!!! This movie is worth watching just for her. Some people say she can't act but I thought she was the best part of the movie. Her and Captain Spalding ofcourse. If you grew up in the 80's this move will make you nostalgic for those horror fest sleep overs.
Rating:
Summary: AWESOME BEST MOVIE OF 2003
Review: This movie was great it`s the best movie since texas chainsaw massacre. If your a horror fan like me you will love this one.Rob Zombie really shows his talent as a director.some gore but not too much I`ve watched this movie twice and it was better the 2nd time.If you love a good horror movie sit back and enjoy.
Rating: 
Summary: Don't know Rob Zombie? Then go HOME.
Review: Listen you 'tards, this movie is for ZOMBIE fans, and US ONLY. NOT. YOU. Don't listen to Zombie? Go home. And play your new britney album, watch TRL. Anyone who knows anything about Rob knows his music is based on old school horror, hot-rods, and women. Thus his movie reflects his major influence-classic horror, silent era, marginally deficient gore flicks. That's exactly what this is. If you're not familiar with NON-sellouts, you wont understand. If you're not a Zombie fan, you won't get it.
Rating:
Summary: Rob Zombie Directing A Film?
Review: Alright, I had high hopes for this one. I really did. I'm not really a fan of Rob...But the movie preview looked cool, and in reality though this movie was crap. When I was in the theatre watching it I noticed right away, that I had already seen it, back when it was called Texas Chainsaw Massacre! This movie is nothing more than a lame copy of TCM, except for new actors. Thats it. Come on Rob, what were you thinking man?
Rating: 
Summary: Should have been a silent Movie
Review: Wow. I watched this movie just last night, and what a waste of time. As a music video, this would have been great. It was definitely a visual feast and was artfully crafted--to be played along with heavy rock or techno music. The dialog was trite, the plot (what plot?) was lost amidst the imagery. And as for gore, this movie was not the life-scarring blood fest it was reputed to be. I'm rather glad of that, actually. When it was all over I actually wished I had better spent my time ironing or washing dishes. It's probably worth a look, but not much else.
Rating:
Summary: Why is Rob Zombie famous?
Review: Why? Because he used White Zombie to get on MTV and from there it's been one sellout after another. Rob has no musical talent and no talent for directing, as this film proves. The only thing that Rob has a talent for is exploiting horror and metal to get himself attention. Have you seen him lately? I drove like an hour to see this movie because I live in the middle of nowhere. I went into the theater excited and waiting for the good stuff to come. I'll admit, I did have fun watching the audience over-react to everything and scream constantly, but I found the movie to be very annoying. When it comes to Rob's girlfriend, I'd have to say that I've seen better actin' in tough actin' tinactin (as Chris Rock would say). Her screeching voice combined with terrible acting made me want to disembowel myself right there. The movie is filled with things that are supposed to be cool and original, but are tacky, irritating, and just plain dumb. If you want to watch this movie, do so with lowered expectations and you might want to get inebriated first too.
Rating:
Summary: The Downward Spiral
Review: What has gone wrong with Rob Zombie? It seems that with every passing moment, he becomes more and more lame. He use to be an awesome horror rocker in his White Zombie days, but since then, he just continues to put out a constant line of terrible products, with "House of 1000 Corpses" being the worst of the worst. I had high hopes for this movie. I thought, "Sure, his music [is bad] now, but who could write a better horror flick than the biggest fan of horror himself?" Well, apparently any one. First off, it was way too much like Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Second, it had way too many of those trippy cut-ins that added nothing to the story. Third, the story...well, there wasn't one. Jason X had more story to it than this. The whole movie, I was waiting for a climax, and my mind was reaching to see how it might possibly all tie together in the end. Well, I'm sad to say it never did, and I was left very disappointed.
Rating:
Summary: pretty good horror movie from rob zombie
Review: I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later. Rob Zombie (lover of all things horror) made his very own horror movie.
All in all it's not a bad movie at all.
I had hoped for more gore and things like in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre part 1.
The dirty old clown was funny and disturbing at the same time.
The "leader" of the family reminded me of the guy with the metal plate in his head from the first TCM movie.
There could have been a few more scenes with "baby".
As Rob Zombie stated in the director commentary, there was great attention to details, only one flaw that I immediately noticed: the "key chain" to the bathroom at the start of the movie.
Watch the movie a few times, then watch it with director commentary and you'll figure it out.
A movie well worth the cash, one that will be watched over & over.
I would have given it 5 stars except I would like to have seen more gore & guts and of course, a little more of "baby".
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