Cheerleader Autopsy

Rating:
Summary: I'm dreaming of a white trash Christmas
Review: Variety is the spice of life, and as a film lover, I like it all: Hollywood formula movies, pretentious art films, and unusual stuff that grows in the cracks in between. Stuff like CHEERLEADER AUTOPSY.

The plot, such as it is, says a lot:
Lowlife loser graduates from blow up sex dolls to sleeping corpses when he takes a job with a degenerate mortician. When fresh meat arrives via dead cheerleaders ready for the slab, a battle begins to see who will be king of the necrophiliacs.

If this were a drama, it would be depressingly misanthropic, but in fact C.A. is a mixture of romance, horror and crazy comedy. Hilarious moments pockmark the movie like a bad case of acne, and the cast ham it up as if they're in some old Warhol project. The janitor is played so creepily as to make Crispin Glover nervous, and as the white trash ingenue, Misty Kapp shines as bright as a beer can. I don't know about you, but I've seen enough of peroxide blond brats, silly-cone boobs, and collagen lips to do for a good while. Misty Kapp hits the g-spot in the role of The-Girl(in the trailer)-Next-Door. I hope to see her in more (or in less) in the future.

When Hollywood makes a slob comedy, the ususal plot device is to depict a loveable rogue surrounded by good hearted but misunderstood misfits. Vince Vaughn, for example in DODGE BALL. In CHEERLEADER AUTOPSY, heroic or "good" characters are notable only for their absence. There are no good people, no smart people, no positive values, no morals. These characters' thoughts are only where their next beer or orgasam will come from. This absolute refusual to show anybody who is not a worthless p. of s. is one of the things that give C.A. it's edge. With no familiar signposts of morality, the movie has a sense of danger. Face it- regarding even the best of the Hollywood products, you still know how the movie will end just by looking at the poster. With a movie like C.A., knowing anything can happen means you don't know what will happen. It's far from normal, and that's the fun.

John Waters used to make movies like this, before he succumbed to the Hollywood dollar(s), but it's few and far between since then. In fact, this is a lot like Water's early stuff, and that's a good barometer on whether you'll like it or hate it. You can't recommend PINK FLAMINGOES to just anybody, and the same is true of CHEERLEADER AUTOPSY. It's certainly not for the squeamish, the overly sensitive, the politically correct. If you're metroplex mainstream, in the mood for the next bruckheimer blockbuster, you'll hate it. The art house crowd will despise it. But if you like variety, and need to decompress from the above choices now and again, take the unmarked dirt road off the Mainstream highway all the way to CHEERLEADER AUTOPSY.

Rating:
Summary: Biggest pile of crap I ever bought!
Review: Dont waste your money like I did. Be forwarned

Rating:
Summary: WORTHLESS
Review: I don't usually bother to review films on here, but I only write this in order to potentially save someone else from having to endure the misery that I just endured. I generally love campy B movies like the Toxic Avenger or Killer Klowns from Outer Space, but Cheerleader Autopsy was the most irreconcilably terrible film I have ever seen. After reading one other user's review, I expected an amusing horror/comedy with fairly intelligent dialogue accompanied by cheesy effects and nudity. On a positive note, the film did deliver cheesy effects, which elicited a giggle on one particular occasion, but that in no way made up for the rest of this mess. Even the gratuitous nudity of the average (at best) looking girls in this film couldn't save it. I had fairly low expectations going into the experience, and this film managed to be significantly worse than I had expected it to be. First off, the humor was most definitely NOT intelligent, unless you consider fart jokes and rubber penises to be intelligent. I find it hard to believe that anyone who completed grade school was involved in the production of this film, excepting the Pavlov reference which indicates that someone took high school psych. Such razor sharp witticisms as "You want a tip? Don't eat yellow snow" and other such drivel were anything but clever. The necrophilia humor was also done poorly. Humping the dead is not hilarious in and of itself, but the writer evidently thinks so and expected every reference to it to generate a reaction. The only reaction I had was to yawn and regret competely and utterly wasting the last hour and a half of my life on this hillbilly trash.

Note: Those with IQs tested ABOVE 100 should avoid this movie at all costs because they run the risk of significantly lowering their scores.

Rating:
Summary: CHEERLEADER AUTOPSY is a 'MUST SEE" for any B-Movie fan!
Review: I've rented and/or purchased a lot of so called "B-Movies" because of their clever titles and some times deceptive cover art, and I usually end up dissapointed. That's not the case with THIS movie. Though I expected a title like "Cheerleader Autopsy" to be a straight up horror flick, it's actually a comedy that somehow mixes nudity, gore and bad taste into something unique...campy yet entertaining...This is one indie you have to see!

Note: Get your I.Q. checked before your watch this one...If it's under 100, don't buy it 'cause you won't get the jokes...




Rating:
Summary: It's silly - it's supposed to be!
Review: It's low budget, campy, and involves cheerleaders. What do these 1-star raters expect? There's definately a lot of gore and while some of the effects aren't prime quality, well, it's not supposed to be. That's what makes it funny. I thought the cheerleaders were all hot, and the guy that runs the funeral parlor is insane.... and this title's name just takes it from there. if you're looking for a low budget, modern indy film that'll make you laugh and take you back to the days of those late 70s early 80s camp movies, this one's a good one.

Rating:
Summary: Biggest pile of crap I ever bought!
Review: The story of Cheerleader Autopsy had to be told, and this film is the direct result of that telling. The movie documents the horrible fate of a group of cheerleaders who depart from their school (Stinkwater High) for a cheerleader camp/competition. Look for lots of gross dead people, a dog that pees too much, spanking, boobs and more dead cheerleaders than you can shake a stick at...if you're prone to shaking sticks at things.

I believe that it is only fair to say that this is also the ONLY cheerleader movie that I've ever seen.

Rating:
Summary: The Best Cheerleader Movie I've Ever Seen.
Review: The story of Cheerleader Autopsy had to be told, and this film is the direct result of that telling. The movie documents the horrible fate of a group of cheerleaders who depart from their school (Stinkwater High) for a cheerleader camp/competition. Look for lots of gross dead people, a dog that pees too much, spanking, boobs and more dead cheerleaders than you can shake a stick at...if you're prone to shaking sticks at things.

I believe that it is only fair to say that this is also the ONLY cheerleader movie that I've ever seen.

Rating:
Summary: i stopped it in the first 30 minutes
Review: yea...its bad, and doesn't have much redeeming factors about it either. An example: a guy takes his life with a gun and they use a Papier-Mâché head as the dumby head that looks like something your younger bother made in kindergarden (it flashes fast, but not so fast you cant see it). Its bad.