Not Without My Daughter

Rating:
Summary: A Naive one sided exploitation movie
Review: A one sided movie that exploits the western audience's ignorance of the middle east and the stereotypes of Iranian people fed by recent political developments. This movie is based on a book written by a woman who had marital difficulties leading to divorce and, most likely, deep seated bitterness towards her Ex. Bitterness that is not only reflected in her views of her former lover but also the entire society he comes from. A women, or a man, with a failed romance can be expected to write a book like this, but when a Hollywood producer puts it on the big screen, it gives the story a legitimacy which is unwarranted to say the least and which feeds existing stereotypes and hateful impressions based on ignorance. I lived in Iran for a decade and I can assure you that every one in that country does not hate happiness, freedom, prosperity, and family bliss, despite what the movie may have you believe. In fact many may argue that these are innate desires born to every human being, regardless of the political winds and stereotypes of the day. I would also like to note that the father of the "daughter" in this movie also wrote a book of HIS views on the matter which documents the other side of the coin and, to no surprise, has NOT been turned into a huge Hollywood production (not enough audience appeal). 'Not without My Daughter' is a one-sided and hate-full movie representing new heights for Hollywood exploitation movies and new lows for Sally Field's ever descending career.

Rating:
Summary: Why onla for the US??
Review: I live in germany and I have the video and looked everywhere for the dvd.
I love this film but why is it only for the US market???
I am very disappointed about that.

Rating:
Summary: Good movie but it is one-sided
Review: If you read the book before viewing this movie you will notice that the movie intends to grab you at the throat with Moody's control over his wife and making him look guilty throughout the movie. However, if you take notice when he does go back to Iran that his family is constantly on his case about living in the United States for so long and not staying with his family. He is placed in the middle between his american family and even his american values and his traditional values of iranian life. It is then the change comes.

If you remember Betty meets briefly with a woman who tells her that beating a woman is not Islamic. That's right it is not Islamic. So, what she is saying, that many men take their own faith and do with it as it pleases them and uses the suras from the Qu'ran as a way to control their some of their women. However, by telling Betty this- she now knows there's more to Moody than him just being in Iran. He knows she doesn't know anything about the Qu'ran and basically helpless to go against his word. So if you read the book, you will see she uses that as a way for to gain his trust. She must conform to escape. You see a little of this in the movie when she goes to Qu'ran classes and says the prayer at her birthday.

The movie gets 4 stars because it is a good movie and can educate you only of you are open to learn. Or you can view this movie and get upset and tell everyone you are right about how it is in the Middle East. However, unless you view this objectively, you will only base this movie on your own opinions and not on what is actually being seen.

I recommend you read both books by Betty MahMoody and then view the movie.

I am not agreeing with domestic violence it is wrong and those who use this should be punished. However, the movie, is not about the treatment of women in Islam. Many women wear chadors and abbeys not only because it is a law but because many of them want too wear them. It is the man who tells his wife she must be covered in fear of his anger that makes it wrong.

Rating:
Summary: Where was the Oscar for Sally Field's Performance?
Review: Where was the Oscar for Sally field's performance? I still don't know why? Sally Field has always been one of my favorite actress. I think this is the best work she has done to date. Well done Sally Field.... fantastic performance indeed!I give ***** stars for this movie.

Rating:
Summary: What the book conveyed
Review: I have read numerous reviews about how this is not really how Iran is. Let's remember that Betty's experience was 1984-1986 which could in fact be quite different from the Iran of today. I'm sure Betty's depiction in the mid-80s was quite realistic. How many of you knew what the Taliban was really doing to women before 9/11? I noticed a lot of your reviews were written pre-9/11. I have tracked the Taliban through articles for the past 3.5 years and wish the US had gotten rid of that regime long ago. It took 9/11 to do that. I think after seeing what the Taliban did to women, we should not say the movie necessarily exaggerated situations.

I just finished reading the book last night. I could not put the book down! Now tonight, I will go rent the movie. I've seen a lot of comments that the movie was "one-sided", "patriotic" and biased. If you take the emotions out of it (how Betty so described the slovenly family and the movie may have exaggerated this), let's just look at the way of life and law in Iran when Betty was there. Women were not free to wear what they wanted as it is in most Islamic countries. At schools, children chanted every morning "Death to America." We do NOT do such chanting in America nor did we do it in the 1980s. I know the US is not a perfect country but I'm sure if you polled 100 people around this great world, would not all of them prefer to live in the US instead of Iran - even today?

If you read the book, it is not so one-sided. She tells how Moody was very American when they lived in Michigan and how he reverted back to a very Iranian way. Even so, there were "red flags" when they were in the U.S. such as Moody's disappointment when Mathob is born and is a girl, not wanting to put Betty's name on the checking account, etc. Moody's was very depressed about his career state in Iran. He wanted to work and finally got a job at the hospital but they didn't pay him for the longest. I could understand the depression of a man who feels he can't support his family. Moody could not go back to the U.S. either because his greencard had expired and we all know Betty was going to go for instant divorce upon return to the U.S. So we can see how "trapped" Moody felt as well - ironically, they were both "trapped" in Iran and this is how Betty described it. If you read the book, it is not so one-sided. Still, a person's bad lot in life or depression give him or her NO right to commit domestic abuse and to enact laws that basically enslave 50% of your population. I will see the movie tonight and can't wait to see it!

Rating:
Summary: Wonderful, action-packed, suspenseful... very dramatic
Review: I love this movie, it's got all the aspects of a perfect drama, with added suspense and action. The lenghts this mother goes to in order to locate and return her daughter to her American home are admirable and heart-wrenching. There is no limit to what she will do, even when there is nobody around to help, and she's left in a foreign land. The thought that such actions are truly happening in real life, add to the drama of this movie. Excellent!

Rating:
Summary: Not as good as the book...
Review: ... but movies rarely are as good as the books they are based on, which is understandable considering both are very different types of media.

In this case, I think that the movie complements the book, by giving us a 'visual' perspective of things (even though I'm not sure that's how Iran looks like, since in Betty's 2nd book she reveals that these segments of the movie were shot in Israel). But by transforming the book into a movie, we lose a few things:

1) A movie can only show us things and people's actions, while the book can also give us their thoughts and motivations. Even though we see Betty running around Tehran in the movie, we can never share her feelings or thoughts. Therefore, most of the characters aren't as deep as they are in the book. Moody, for instance, just seems like the forceful Iranian husband who tries to make his wife and daughter live in Iran because HE feels like it. The book, on the other hand, gives us some background on what he was like before coming to Iran. His transformation from a typical American to a man who wishes to live in Iran in the book is much slower than in the movie (where we can see his changing attitude by the way he feels about morning prayers) and seems much more convincing.

2) The scope of the movie is much shorter than a books, and therefore many people, events and places had been ommited. In this case, it's obvious an effort had been made to conserve as much of the original spirit of the book as possible, and the efforts were mostly successful, but still - the movie isn't as rich in scope as the book is. This mostly applies to the relationship between Betty and those surrounding her - I'm not sure people who only see the movie would be able to see the ups and downs in Betty's life in Iran...

3) Many of the small details mentioned in the book are missing from the movie. This bothers me even more than the drastic change made to the ending! (for readers who don't realize this, Betty's horse ride out of Iran was in a bad winter storm, not through a desert, but the essence of the dangerous & tiring escape are still there). Stuff like Mahtob's and Betty's problem with typical Iranian restrooms, Betty's description of food, feasts and holidays, or even the few Farsi words she throws in every once in a while in the book...

My bottom line is that for a book adaption - this is a pretty good movie. There aren't that many special features, but there is a documentary that I THINK that the 'real' Betty participated in - unfortunately, no one obthered to put in the names of people on the screen to introduce them. My advice to you - while renting / buying this DVD, borrow Betty's book from the library - since both complement each other.

Rating:
Summary: why all the complaints?
Review: i have a hard time understanding all the complaints against this film. i have a hard time understanding why folks wouldn't believe that this person's experience couldn't happen.

first off, i think the movie did a very good job of portraying variations of iranian culture and personalities within the view of an american. it's clear that there has just been a revolution and that there's a war going on (bombings here and there, a general tenseness in the air, soldiers rounding up young boys to impress them into the military).

a very conservative branch of islamic thinking had come to power, one that was fairly autocratic, politically, theologically and culturally.

we are shown a wide variety of iranians. the immediate family, the cleric who comes to dinner, the women at the daughter's school, the urbane and quiet man and his sister who help betty, the shopkeeper who keeps a memorial photo of his son on the wall of his shop, etc, taxi drivers/etc. who are just going about their business.

it's also made clear that the immediate family comes from a more provincial background and that the theocracy in power encourages their beliefs and culture, which is at odds with the culture of the more modern but still thoroughly iranian folk who have lived in the city, are better educated, etc.

betty's husband is also not portrayed as an out-and-out monster who can do no right nor show no kindness. when he picks betty up at the house (in which he has locked and abandoned her) he is genuinely worried and fearful for her safety. he is conflicted many times as his family and the culture prevalent in iran at that time encourage him to keep his wife in line and treat her differently than he treated her in america. in one scene he himself derides the backwardness of the present regime that has chased many of the trained workers and professionals from the country and left it's burgeoning industry to lie useless and rot.

the family is also not portrayed as a gibbering group of backward, evil people. one of the family members tells betty quite sincerely and movingly that he is sorry that her father is so ill. in another scene, the family has decorated the house with a christmas tree, ornaments, etc., to help betty celebrate her faith. that was very loving and supportive.

when the husband is railing at his daughter, trying to browbeat her into admitting that she and her mother have gone to "unapproved" places, the father's own mother runs in, scolds him and forcibly takes the daughter from his arms. in another scene, when the father ruthlessly beats betty at the school, in front of the women there and in front of her child -- and then hits his own daughter in the head, the women clearly disapprove and rush to help the child.

there is so much to see in this film that recommends iranians and their culture. i was terribly moved and impressed by the bravery of the shopkeeper who extended help to betty in a simple, clear way and equally moved and impressed by the bravery of the brother and sister who risk everything to not only help her, but help others in a similar situation.

why is it so hard to comprehend that when laws that place one group with consistant power over another (blacks/whites; men/women) that there will be abuses of that power (physical abuse, abuse of justice, etc.)? why is it so hard to accept that violent revolutions, especially religious ones, throw a country into turmoil and are often reactionary? this happens throughout history and all over the globe (the days of the french revolution were very bloody and that revolution wound up devouring many of it's own, more liberal protagonists; many good ideals of the bolsheviks were obliterated as cruel individuals like stalin came to power).

why is it so hard to empathize with a person who was lied to and tricked into living in a country in which her human rights were abused? why is it hard to understand that individuals often disobey religous/cultural/judicial laws when those laws conflict with their impulses or needs?

women are supposed to have more freedom guaranteed to them than is often the practice under the koran. and there are different branches of islam that differ as to what is exactly islamic law (the sunni/shi'ite differences; the question as to whether the shariahs, which were written by clerics and are often more restrictive towards women, are part of or not part of the prophet's teachings)? the cleric who comes to dinner seems a bit surprised at betty's wearing of the more retrictive garment inside the house. it was clear that there were differences between individuals as to how islam should be practiced, and the film suggested that these arise from many sources: education, tradition, local cultures, etc.

why is it so hard to see that there was a sliding amount of freedom granted to betty by her husband? when she "behaved" as he felt she ought, he allowed her more mobility. when she didn't, he took away that mobility.

all that being said, i found this film fairly evenhanded and not overacted. it' certainly evenhanded enough so that i can see how the family would feel betrayed by betty, after showing her kindness with the christmas fesitivities, her father, etc.

and why is it so hard to understand that people can change and become abusive, and also demonstrate some acts that are abusive and some that are kind? does the fact that betty's husband goes to get her from the house in which he has abandoned her and is worried about her change the fact that it was abusive to lock her there in the first place? no. does the fact that he does seem genuinely sorry that her father is experiencing a grave illness change the fact that he beats her? no. people are capable of all kinds of positive and negative behaviors, even in the same timeframe.

i think this is a fine film that tells a legitimate and not an isolated story, and it told it well, focusing on betty's story and at the same time showing variation within an unfamiliar culture.

Rating:
Summary: Excellent
Review: Although filmed in Israel, this movie gets right to the grit of the situation Betty found herself in after being tricked by her husband into going to Iran for a "vacation". Moody had planned to stay in Iran all along; anyone watching this movie will glean this info from dialogue between Moody and Betty and between Moody and Mamaal. Hence the inability to get the passports validated so they can leave to come back to America.
Although one-sided, no one can dispute the fact that a mother can and should do all she can to remove herself and her child from a harmful, abusive, and destructive situation. I don't think much has changed in Iran since Betty managed to get out of what she obviously believed to be a dangerous and primitive country.

Rating:
Summary: Excellent Portrayal of Riveting Story
Review: What a great movie. Dramatic, tense, suspenseful/And such an accurate portrayal of blind, fanatic devotion to Islam that would cause a man to lie to and betray his wife. This is quite a warning to non-Islamic women who would ever fall for an Islamic man and consider marrying him. Don't do it!!! It will lead to a similar horror as depicted in this film. This is far more than a clash of cultures; this is a class between good and evil, between freedom and tyranny, between modern society and trying to move the clock back to the 7th century. Watch this film and be warned about a terrible evil lurking in our world.