Pieces

Rating:
Summary: Terrific Trash!
Review: A ridiculously terribly made gore film from the early 80's that's a load of unintentional laughs, PIECES is a perfect Friday night's drunken party film.

The film is a Spanish production starring Christopher George (GATES OF HELL) and his wife, Linda Day George. The film, like so many other 80's slasher films, begins with a flashback. In 1944 we see this kid putting together a puzzle of a naked woman (who looks very 70's for some reason). The kid's mom finds the puzzle and has a conniption fit, destroying the puzzle and going berzerk busting mirrors and throwing stuff around. The kid runs out of the room and comes back with an axe, and chops mommy up. When a family friend suspects something is wrong, she comes in with the police to find the dismembered corpse of the mother and the little kid bluffing that a "big man" had done the dirty deed. This sequence features a touch-tone phone that had not yet been invented.

We then flash forward to present day at a U.S. college where we're shown a scene of a girl on roller skates smashing into a huge mirror that is being carried across a sidewalk by movers. This scene seems to have nothing at all to do with the rest of the movie, but supposedly the breaking mirror sets off the memory of the hacked up mom smashing a mirror back in 44. So, the kid who is now grown up is obviously psychologically "awakened" and all sorts of girls start getting killed. Various parts of the girls are being taken by the killer... being used to construct a "perfect" female. The killer is obviously the kid all grown up, but the "mystery" lies in figuring out which cast member is that kid. Since this is a pretty lame movie, it's not too hard to figure it out, though they do try to confuse you a bit by throwing in the guy that played Bluto in the terrible live action POPEYE movie as a suspicious character.

I realize that my description of the plot makes very little sense... well, guess what... this movie makes very little sense.
The dialogue and acting is about as hilariously wretched as you are going to find in any movie. What makes this movie worth checking out is the high body count, and the gallons of blood used in the production.

Everyone's favorite scene seems to be the girl getting sliced in half by a chainsaw. It's one of the all time great gore scenes from any slasher flick.

The music is total Goblin rip-off, but very effective. The story line is one of the most idiotic ever put to celluloid. The ending is so completely absurd you'll be laughing and scratching your head at the same time. You'll wonder "what in the hell were they thinking when they made this piece of junk."... But you'll love it none-the-less.

Those of us that watch these kinds of movies watch them for a reason... and this movie delivers the goods to those of us that enjoy creatively inept filmmaking, bad acting, exploitive T&A, and cartoonishly excessive violence.

If you love trash, check out PIECES. This is some of the worst trash-cinema ever vomited onto a motion picture screen.

This DVD is mastered from a videocassette... in other words, it doesn't look too good... but what do you want? This isn't Citizen Kane we're talking about.

Rating:
Summary: #1
Review: Absolutely the best movie ever made. I've never seen anything like it. A 12 star masterpiece theatre spectaculator. From a true Mbugout City Sin's prospective, there shall never be a better film. HaHaHaHa HeeHee. Willard.

Rating:
Summary: I'm glad I picked up this "piece!"
Review: As a fan of horror films since the age of five, I, personally, enjoyed Pieces. Why? In my opinion, unlike a number of (so-called) "horror" films, Pieces, like the original Boogeyman, the original Gates Of Hell, Make Them Die Slowly, Just Before Dawn, Deranged, and Schizo, among others, is "genuine horror." In other words, this film, fortunately, doesn't rely on male and female teen heartthrobs, modern special effects, children's toys, or...robots (??). I prefer Pieces over any of the Nightmare On Elm Street films!

Rating:
Summary: I'm glad I picked up this "piece!"
Review: As a fan of horror films since the age of five, I, personally, enjoyed Pieces. Why? In my opinion, unlike a number of (so-called) "horror" films, Pieces, like the original Boogeyman, the original Gates Of Hell, Make Them Die Slowly, Just Before Dawn, Deranged, and Schizo, among others, is "genuine horror." In other words, this film, fortunately, doesn't rely on male and female teen heartthrobs, modern special effects, children's toys, or...robots (??). I prefer Pieces over any of the Nightmare On Elm Street films!

Rating:
Summary: PIECES : Piece Of...(Slop)
Review: As far as camp goes, this one goes all the way. No doubt about it. I'm surprised to see the rest of the reviewers failed to notice that the last half of Pieces turned into a Teenage Sherlock Holmes skit. Here's the boy doing all this detective work, running around trying to find the Jig-saw madman with the off-camera murders and light nudity. The first half of the film, however, I found quite brilliant in a way (in the B-movie universe of course). How the film was set up was exectuted quite ingeniously. The opening scene where a post production chainsaw killer hacks his mother up with an axe is just socially inept, and where the story leads us after that is a bunch of college chicks getting killed left and right. But amidst all this blood and gore lies a campy masterpiece, and that is Pieces.

Rating:
Summary: Should be on Criterion...
Review: Forget the Lord of the Rings four disc set...we need to see Pieces with 30 hours of extra footage and commentary--perhaps that would at least clear up the bizarro ending.
I love this film--it has everything a film of the genre should have, but gives you so much more. I laughed so hard I fell of my couch--whether it was at the suprise Kung Fu sequence or Linda Day shrieking "BASTARD!!!" three times. On an interesting note--Paul Smith, the terrifying guard in Midnight Express and Bluto from Popeye plays the scene-chewing gardener.
I must say that I don't think I had ever bought a DVD that was actually worth every dollar I spent on it until I came across Pieces in the bargain bin at Tower Records. I made some popcorn, put it on, and gathered with my movie geek friends and had a divine experience--this was funnier than most intentional comedies--pure genius.

Rating:
Summary: A great "bad" horror film...but be prepared
Review: Forty years after a sweet-faced lad axes his mother to death (she flips out after catching him doing a nudie puzzle) college girls start meeting their demise at the hands of a chainsaw killer. It seems that he's assembling another puzzle of a woman...only this time the pieces aren't cardboard. Whenever you're not horrified by the (very) graphic violence, you'll no doubt be laughing at the awful acting and dialogue. I was delighted to come across this DVD for [$$$], and for that you get it in fullscreen, with only 4 chapter stops, a picture quality slightly better than VHS, and a few pages of notes on stars Christopher George and Linda Day George...but didn't I just say this is only [$$$]? Fans still should snap this up, as any "special edition" of this movie will no doubt be years off...if ever.

Rating:
Summary: So Bad It's Good!
Review: I bought this at the same time I bought CITIZEN KANE. I loved that one so I can't be totally hopeless can I? :) I like these types of movies too because I find movies done as badly as this hilarious. And this one is probably funnier than most I've seen. And it's not as bad as it really seems. This movie boasts of some really good actors, like Edmund Purdom (Student Prince), who exudes cool, distinguished but menacing Englishness in his role as the Dean. But some of them are just really bad, and some of the humor comes from them. Except for the brutal killing at the start, this movie doesn't really display any gross out hack and slash scenes. In fact, much of the hacking happens off screen. Well, I just have to say I really enjoyed this movie, as bad as it is.

Rating:
Summary: Cookie Cutter
Review: I had to get this because it was on Losman's Disturbing Movies, which is a Holy Grail of must-see movies. This is pretty much standard slasher fare. Besides from a little more blood than most similiar slashers, I couldn't help but think why this cookie cutter slashers film ended up in the vaults of the disturbed. It's still a pretty enjoyable film. If you like slashers, you can't pass up this infamous movie.

Rating:
Summary: Wow...
Review: I really didn't think budgets for movies could be so low. This is something that you'd expect to see on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

I heard about this in a community not too long ago, and found it toay for [money amount]. I watched it expecting just a really poor horror movie to give me a few laughs. What I got was a sickeningly poor movie that gave me tons of laughs.

It starts out with a little boy getting slapped by his mom for putting together a puzzle of a naked woman. Then after she tells him to get something, he hacks 'er up with an axe. 40 years later (yes, 40) he begins attacking people at a college and taking parts of them to make a person.

Seriously, take the budget of Critters and reduce it by 17/18 and that's this movie. The lip movements don't match the speech in any scenes. Characters pop in whenever they feel they need to be useful. And the killer's theme is more or less the only music in this sucker. He's a peeping Tom most of the time. He just watches girls do things while he breathes heavily like a pervert...then does them in.

The movie is not that graphic, not to me anyway. Limbs are lopped off, but that's about it. There's not that much violence or nudity like many say, but for what there is, it's pretty good.

My DVD had no actual extras. A screen of "promotional" stuff and a chapter menu. There's no actual menu, just a chapter one.

Don't buy this expecting anything violent or good, it's just a fun cult movie that will give you laughs. If not the acting, the budget.