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Mommie Dearest

Mommie Dearest

List Price: $14.99
Your Price: $11.99
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Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Unintentional Comedy Galore!
Review: Ah, Mommie Dearest, what can I say? Almost 25 years after the movie came out in theaters, I still can't turn away from it when it is shown on TV, especially in its unedited state. This movie was intended to be a drama that illustrates that being involved in the life of a movie star is not all peaches and cream. Child abuse, alcoholism and paranoia are all portrayed in a classic over-the-top performance by Faye Dunaway, whose career has never been the same since she took this role and alienated the movie industry for scathing "one of our own".

If you are one of the six people who have never seen the movie, you know about it. The raw steak, the assault on the flower garden and, of course, the infamous wire hanger. I've never laughed so much at a movie this disturbing before. Not even close. Some of the worst acting in movie history is in evidence, including the absolutely brutal Steve Forrest, who wins my vote as "Worst Acting Performance By a Male (or Female or Dog or Cat or Hamster) in the Last Half of the 20th Century". Diana Scarwid, who plays Christina Crawford as an adult, also gave what I thought was a career-ending performance, but she still does movies today so I was off base.

Four stars after all that, you say? What can I say, there are just some bad movies I can't resist and this is one of the best!

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: "Tina!... Bring me the Axe!"
Review: This movie scared me to death when I was a kid. I had absolutely no idea who Joan Crawford was, so I just naturally took the whole thing as a tale of a goofball mother who abused her kids a lot. I had nightmares of Faye Dunaway wearing a facemask beating me with wire hangers while screaming, "Don't f--- with me, fella!"

Seriously, I never had the nightmares, but as a child, Faye Dunaway played one vicious bitch who I was glad wasn't my mother. I'm 22 now and know who Joan Crawford is. The physical resemblance between Mrs. Dunaway and Mrs. Crawford is striking at times. As far as Faye's acting goes, well... I'm suprised she didn't gain a little weight during the production from all that scenery she chewed. This is THE definitive "ham" performance. It's just so over the top and hysterically wacko. There's so many instances where the character does something off the wall that it'd be impossible to list them all. In short, it's one of the most memorable performances of the 80's. I would say "bravo," but I'm not sure if this is what Dunaway was going for.

It's also the only interesting performance in the entire movie. At least Dunaway knows how to deliver her lines in a SLIGHTLY realistic manner; the rest of the cast is basically just pathetic. The girl who played Christina (name escapes me) is god-awful in this film. Behold:

"I'm... not... one of yourrrr [FANS]!"

It must be seen to be believed. The entire film revels in the realm of all things bizarre and awful. And that's exactly why it's so darn entertaining. Some of the quotes are so nutty that they've earned a permanent rank into the lexicon of pop culture, the most famous being, of course, "No wire hangers... EVER(....)!"

If you're into this goofy stuff, I'd highly recommend buying it. No interesting extras to speak of, but the price is good. Place it on your shelf right next to your MST3K collection.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Shocking and heartbreaking
Review: "Mommie Dearest" is a genuine stunner. I was overwhelmed by the film on first viewing. This dramatic, intensely horrifying biographical portrait of Joan Crawford's maternity is enough to make even the most die-hard Crawford fan cringe.

Faye Dunaway (frankly what I believe to have been a performance of Oscar caliber) portrays Crawford. Dunaway has Crawford down to the last inch. In mannerisms, looks, even voice, she IS Joan Crawford. Dunaway's performance lends a very creepy sense of voyeurism to the film because the viewer actually forgets that this is a performance.

At any rate, the story begins circa 1939, when Crawford was one of Hollywood's reigning glamour queens. She adopts two babies as a single mother. Flash forward five years. Crawford is sweet to her daughter Christina in front of the cameras. When the bulbs aren't flashing, Crawford is cruel to her daughter (Mara Hobel; I don't know how she endured making this film)... forcing her to give up birthday gifts "...for the less fortunate children...", locking her daughter in a poolhouse for backtalking, and chopping off Christina's hair in one particularly gruesome scene when the girl is caught staring at herself in a mirror. Other cruelties include forcing the child to eat raw meat and sending the girl to boarding school for mixing a drink for one of Crwaford's boyfriends. In later years, Crawford actually wrestles her daughter to the floor and chokes her mercilessly.

It is heartbreaking because in every instance Christina is trying to be a good girl for "Mommie Dearest". Crawford's outlandish behavior manages to scare the blazes out of her children. Just after winning the Oscar, Crawford beats the devil out of Christina when she discovers wire hangers in the girl's closet (a symbol of poverty).

They are bizarre and never completely understandable, these turns of events. An older Christina (Diana Scarwid, just great) still finds it hard to come to terms with her mother's erratic behavior after death, when her mother left a cruel statement in her will excluding her children as beneficiaries. This is a story that needs to be told, but it is still nerve-wracking when told. I'm proud of Christina Crawford for having the courage to tell this story. I hope it may even help some people who have suffered this kind of abuse.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: NO WIRE HANGERS!
Review: Possibly my fav. movie I've ever watched!

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: For Some People, Priceless!
Review: Mommie Dearest is not everyone's type of movie, to be sure. If you've read the book, you're sure to say that it falls far short of the book. However, there's no way a movie could possibly include everything the book contained; a movie that contained all that content would have run for a half day at least, and no audience would have been that patient. As far as movie adaptations go, Mommie Dearest did an admirable job of capturing as much as it could from the book, which was powerful in itself.

If you remember Joan Crawford in her heyday, the movie will hit you where you live because of Faye Dunaway's performance alone. Faye Dunaway IS Joan Crawford. She captures Joan Crawford's gestures, her voice, her mannerisms so perfectly that it is easy to forget that the person on the screen is Faye Dunaway and not Joan Crawford herself. All the others in the film are secondary to her, although Diana Scarwid's portrayal of Christina as an adult is significant as she is the one who is telling the story.

Herein lies the weakness of the movie. For persons who knew Joan Crawford and the legend behind her, watching Faye Dunaway's histrionics may conjure up gleeful feelings or outrage, depending on how the viewer felt about Joan Crawford. She had a reputation for being a very tough woman, and those who liked her will feel she was betrayed in this movie; Faye Dunaway's career did suffer as a result of her portrayal in this movie. Those who despised Joan Crawford will cackle with glee over the way this movie turned her into a witch. However, for audiences who knew little about Joan Crawford, the movie will look strange and bizarre, and the performances by Faye Dunaway and Diana Scarwid may make no sense at all. As one thirtysomething viewer said after seeing the film, "It was the eeriest film I ever saw in my life, more than the Exorcist."

Many people who watch Mommie Dearest claim it is truly awful and will say it has the worst acting imaginable; reviews blasting the film can be found everywhere imaginable. However, how you enjoy the film depends on your viewpoint. The people who love it -- and I am one of those people -- remember Joan Crawford's movies but also remember her as a woman who was known to be a real bitch. She knew everyone thought of her as a bitch, too; when she appeared on I Love Lucy, in one of the rehearsals, she was overheard saying, "And people say I'M a bitch!" She was well known to be not an easy person, so when the controversy over Christina Crawford's book and this movie started -- so many people, including adopted brother Christopher -- claimed that none of it was true -- there was the reputation to deal with. This movie certainly makes the most of that reputation. It then makes the film into a very swanky sort of mud wrestling contest, only without the mud. Faye Dunaway's histrionics become incredibly funny when you view the film in such a light, and to a large extent, many have chosen to make Mommie Dearest into a sort of cult film in that vein; it certainly works well that way.

Realize when you view Mommie Dearest that how you view it may well be affected by how much you know about the career of Joan Crawford. If you know nothing about Joan Crawford, you may not even want to rate this movie with a half star. If you remember her from movies such as Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, this movie may well be one of your all-time favorites.

There's little question that if Joan Crawford came back from the grave, she would not be pleased by this film. She might even go into the same histrionics that the film displayed. Only then would we really know how true the story is. Even so, it is still fun to imagine that she would.

Rating: 3 stars
Summary: Crawford Behind Closed Doors
Review: The movie is not as entertaining nor as intriguing and shocking as the book.There are lots of holes and they did not show a lot of characters that are in the book which is understandable because of its low budget.And it only focused on Joan Crawford's home life with her adopted kids.Its a little slower but when you get to those famous abuse scenes,its a lot of fun.Im not happy to see these children get beaten up,theyre just unintentionally funny most of the time.We dont know if all of the things shown here were actually true,but you just cant help but be fascinated.Faye Dunaway as usual was brilliant but the supporting actors are pretty lame.If you love movies and also interested to know what actors are like on other people's eyes,I recommend this one.Besides,you wouldnt want to miss out on one of the most popular cult classics such as this one that people often talk about.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: This IS Joan, folks...
Review: Among Joan Crawford's films, only "Queen Bee" captures her real personality (and "Strait-jacket", when she's feeling friendly but only slightly irritable).

Otherwise, what's so over-the-top about this movie? If anything, Dunaway is too RESTRAINED!!
It's what "Dynasty" shoulda been, but usually wasn't: good camp!

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: A Top 10 entry in the Kweenie Klassix
Review: A fright-night horror movie, if there ever was one, starring Faye Dunaway in the role she was born to play - Joan Crawford. No other actress alive could have portrayed Joan with the fire and intensity that, much to Faye's chagrin, has rendered her name synonymous with the role. Spawning a zillion one-liners ("It's not you I'm mad at, Helga, it's the dirt." "Strap yourself in, Christopher!" "No wire hangers, ever!" "Tina! Bring me the axe!" "Don't f*ck with me, fellas." And "You're a lousy excuse for someone who *really* cares," among others), the film is not to be taken seriously and is definitely *not* for the faint of heart. In the celebrated "night raid" scene, Faye, as Joan, performs what can only be described as American Kabuki. With cold-cream obliterating her features except for the twisted mouth and incendiary eyes, Faye *becomes* the enraged Joan, practically showing us the inside of Joan's brain. The scene of the psycho-somatically bedridden Joan accepting her Oscar for her superlative work on *Mildred Pierce*, as well as the famous "Christmas broadcast" scene, are thrillingly realistic, as is the scene where Joan watches Christina pretending to be Joan addressing her fans. Dunaway has said that it took her a long time to shake Joan out of her system. There is no doubt of this, since Dunaway's performance is riveting, and this is her best period for movie roles. Favorite moment: (One of so *many*) A drunken Joan trying to lure her lover back to her, begging him to stay. He turns to the vulnerable and weepy Joan and tells her, "If you're acting, you're wasting your time. If you're not, you're wasting mine."

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: As Deluded as the Real Joan?
Review: Allegedly a serious bio-pic on Joan Crawford, the movie makes it mark by falling in that rare, special genre--unintentionally funny. It has all the hallmarks of a John Waters film--outlandish clothes, deranged performances, Ed Wood-like dialogue, and...NO WIRE HANGERS! Who can forget THAT infamous scene, followed by the "Old Dutch" scrub-o-thon?

Faye Dunnaway plays the role with desperate aplomb in a truly unfortunate (for her) career choice. But what a gift for US. The rest of the performances are pretty dismal, but add to the overall camp effect of sublime incompetance. The adult Christina seems like she had a lobotomy.

Good for laughs; not, NEVER, to be taken seriously.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Miss Crawford CANNOT be played!
Review: Girl, this movie is too much! Miss Dunaway deserved an Oscar for playing the legendary Joan Crawford, who adopted two blonde brats who constantly interfered with her career. Tina got a ghetto beating for using wire hangers and not eating her rare meat for lunch. How DARE that blonde jezebel wench disrespect Miss Crawford?! I also liked the part when Joan choked Tina after she made that flip comment "I'm not one of your FANS!" That'll teach her! All in all, an excellent movie with fabulous costumes, makeup, set design, and whatnot. You go, Miss Crawford!


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