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Noah's Ark

Noah's Ark

List Price: $14.98
Your Price: $13.48
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Ishtar's Ark (but worse)
Review: Blindingly aweful. Colossal waste of time (and money, if you are foolish enough to buy this).

This must have been intended as a spoof. However, it was just simply stupid--nothing imaginative or clever, just stupid. Bad writing, bad acting, bad effects, bad everything.

It was hyped on TV as an epic mini-series resembling something coming from the Bible. If so, the writers got BADLY, BADLY lost somewhere. I actually went and found a Bible to read the real story again. [That was worth the time.]

Had they attempted to even half-seriously approach the story of Noah that even the kids of anthiests are familiar with, they would have done much better.

I was stupified by how simply aweful this was. Give it a -3 stars.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Noah's Ark
Review: I would have to say that if there was a less rating than one star this movie would winn hands down. Again I see that the Director took no thought for historical accuracy of the events and times in which they took place. To begin with, Noah didn't live in the times of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham was the one who lived during that time. Lot was the one who lived outside Sodom and was taken out by the two angels. I wish someone would do their research properly before making a movie on the Bible. Anyone who changes the Word of God is in danger of being judged by it. I was a great deal upset , to say the least, while watching this movie. Maybe someone will take not and study the facts next time.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Needs a 0 star rating for this one!
Review: Wish they had 0 star ratings, but no option for that. This was so anti-Scripture it was rediculous. It looked like the movie was made just to totally twist the stories and make up their own stuff to confuse people. Sad that people will see that good name "Noah's Ark" and think it might be the true Biblical story. So, just so you know...IT'S NOT even close. YUCK...would be the best word to describe this movie. Don't waste your time watching this...you'll be very glad you passed this one up. Even the newspapers reports on it ripped it to shreds...about being totally nondoctrinal, and unscriptural, and making fun of the true stories of the Bible. So thank God for those many true reviews of this twisted movie. The old classics were so good at staying online with Scripture...best to stick with those. Enjoy the oldies but goodies...and especially enjoy reading the real thing...THE HOLY BIBLE...no better book than that! God bless. :)

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Zero-star heap of garbage
Review: Most of the comments here are dead on about this film being blasphemous and all, but I think Jay Leno put it best...

"Next time, the writers should consult better research material ... like the Bible!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Absurd, Terrible, And Biblically Inaccurate
Review: Is this really suppose to be the story of Noah and the great flood. It seemed more like a story from Grimm's Fairy Tales than from the Holy Bible. I saw this when it came out on television, and it was hysterically horrible. Putting Lot in the story was the most inaccurate thing the director could of done among other obvious inaccuracies, or maybe the people behind this film read from The Hollywood Bible. It was hysterical when Noah and his sons go head to head ready to rip each other's face off on the ark, when they all become incredibly insane. I would of thought this was great comedy if it wasn't so blasphemous. Anyway, it's a really big waste of time watching this trash, so stay away from this...you have been warned.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: It does not deserve more than 1 star (I would give 0)
Review: As far as biblical truth is concerned, this movie is a complete disaster. Worst biblical movie ever made. They even dared to insult God (who does not in Hollywood these days?). Actually, it is hard to expect anything good these days from Hollywood. Compare with Joseph, Jacob, Moses, Samson and Dalilah, David or Abraham. These movies stay quite close to biblical truth. My favorite is Joseph, Ten Commandments. Sodoma and Gomorah beeing destroyed before the flood already shows you, how well was producer aquainted with the Bible. Probably, they never read it. I think that this movie was influenced by Titanic so they released "biblical" Titanic epic (Noah Ark was enormous - 150m in lenght - equals to size of modern ships). I watched this movie twice and this movie sits on the shelf completely forgotten. Nobody liked it. I was afraid of my wife when I bought it and saw it. Fortunatelly, my sweetheart was not hard on me. Nevertheless, she did not like that movie at all.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: Irreverent, dark comedy about the end of a civilization
Review: Peter Barnes' witty script takes wild liberties with the Biblical story, but opens up some of the intriguing moral questions behind it in the process. The direction is more plodding than the script, though, so it may not have occured to all the viewers that they were watching what was intended as a dark comedy. But it's a funny tale in a very dry way (so to speak), as the ark becomes a kind of "Endgame" with oars and elephants. Barnes also wrote the terrific (and similarly sacrilegious) "The Ruling Class" in the late 1960's.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: An expensive joke!
Review: I had been so looking forward to this movie. Boy, was I disappointed. They tried to make it almost "campy". Very inaccurate, Noah and Lot did not even live in the same time period. Abraham and Lot, his nephew interacted in the Bible. When Sodom and Gomorrah was being destroyed and Lot's wife looked back, she turned into a salty stone-like statue. When Lot reached over in a comical way and broke her finger off, I gave up! They seemed to try to work in a lot of comedy that just didn't fit at all. I've never been more disappointed with a movie. It was such a wasted opportunity!

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Noah's what?
Review: I was looking forward to this movie. I don't even believe most of the Bible is true, but it does generally make exciting movies, but shame on the people who put this together and the lack of taste they showed in offending the millions of people who do take it seriously.

Jon Voight and Mary Steenburgen must have been desperate for work to even have agreed to make this mindless movie that depicted them in such a degrading light.

This really could have been an excellent movie, comparable to "The Ten Commandments" had they stuck to the original version.

Maybe one day Hollywood will learn--poking fun at things that millions of people hold "sacred" is not the best way to win an audience.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Not at all like the Bible
Review: I only like this movie because of the exciting things. But I really don't like it because it is not at all like the Bible. First of all, they had other characters that weren't in Noah's day and they were supposed to be Noah's friends in the movie. Also, they added hours of stuff that people didn't really care about and it just wasted time. And another thing, why in the world would there be a caravan in the flood? That is just so stupid! The Bible said that only Noah and his family survived by being in the ark, not a stupid caravan guy and his things that he was selling. Besides, if in the Bible it said that he was there, there would be a very small chance that Noah and his family would see him if he was the only person besides them. This should be a fiction story more than a Bible story.


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