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Noah's Ark

Noah's Ark

List Price: $14.98
Your Price: $13.48
Product Info Reviews

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Rating: 1 stars
Summary: FALSE ADVERTIZEMENT
Review: This film was advertized as a cinematic specticle with a host of highly regarded actors, but it was actually more like "monty python's unholy ark." I'm ecstatic that it was NOT billed as a comedy, because then it could have potentially had a larger viewing audience. I rented this DVD at a local movie rental store (in the drama section) and returned it for another rental after only 30 minutes into it. I would have shut it off after the first 5 minutes, but I thought it had to get better. (I WAS WRONG.)

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Waste of Film, Time & thought.
Review: Excited at first to see a modern movie about noah's ark, I was disgusted to say the LEAST. From the first few minutes...I knew this was going to be stupid. The script...ayayay Who the HELL wrote this?!?!? And how did it get as far as to actually be made?? This "movie" was full of bad humor, bad acting and the Worst direction. How they even dare to "sell" this on home video is beyond me... 1 of the Worst movies I've ever seen.

Rating: 4 stars
Summary: OLD STORY + FRESH IDEAS = ENTERTAINMENT
Review: Come on you guys, lighten up! If this were not taken from the Bible you would probably think it great fun. And how can anyone say it was inaccurate? Whether it happened or not, none of us was there! The point is that the writers took a few paragraphs from the Bible and extrapolated a fun story with likeable characters. Does the bible always have to translate into dour and ultra-serious dramas?? Great fun, buy it.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: regret that i ever saw this movie
Review: I watched this movie on tv and i regret I ever saw it. First of it was not anywhere near accurate to compliment the story of the bible and secondly when I saw two lobsters as well as two male peecocks climbing into the arc that was it for me

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: This mini-series is so bad that atheists will be offended
Review: "Noah's Ark" must inspire everybody in Hollywood who dreams of making a movie because it proves that there is no idea so outrageous that somebody will not ante up several millions of dollars to put it on film. Granted, the Bible stories found in Genesis are sketched out rather than told as fully developed narratives, but this goes well beyond filling in the gaps. In a mini-series that is jaw-droppingly bad, what is the part in the script by Peter Barnes where your jaw becomes unhinged: for my money that is when the pirates attack the Ark during the Flood.

So I really have to say anything more than that?

I would not take the position that any dramatic license with scripture is by definition wrong. My favorite scene in "Jesus of Nazareth" is when Jesus tells the parable of the Prodigal Son while he is at the house of Matthew the taxcollector and the morally offended Peter is standing in the doorway listening. It is a brilliant use of the parable mainly because it provides an appropriate spiritual context. But there is nothing like that in this debacle. I am sure this was sold on being a Bible Disaster Flick, the Genesis version of "The Poseidon Adventure." Instead it ends up being something more akin to an Ed Wood film.

To add insult to injury, the film actually does try to deal with the "big" question, as to why God created humans but was so troubled by their exercising their free will to be evil. "Noah's Ark" suggests that one of the reasons for the Flood was to give God enough time to think up an answer. I always knew the story of the Flood was an object lesson for humanity, but apparently it was really just an oral exam for Noah.

"Noah's Ark" does not get a single star for two reasons. First, no one actually dies in the making of the film, therefore it is a step up from being a snuff film. Second, the film has to inspire people to read the Bible story of Noah's Ark simply because the vast majority of people who find themselves sitting through this film are going to want to go check out what the Bible really has to say about the Flood. But to those who want to go the one star route--I will not say them nay.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Not biblical
Review: I was very impress with the quality, but the story line is not the way it is written in the Bible. It is very disappointing. I believe that this video is a lie and this is the way the world would like to make the bible like. (Half truth) If you want the truth in your live, don't waste your money on it.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Rancid!
Review: Like most TV miniseries retelling classic myths, this one is totally rancid, even more so than all the others. Acting, F/X, dialougue- all painful to the senses.
As for the innacuracy, I've got a funny story- I remember watching miniseries like "Merlin" and the Odyessy on the same network, and throwing a fit because they took gross artistic liberties. Everyone said I was too nitpicky. Then this movie comes along, and they're reacting the same way I did. Hardy har. What the hay- if they don't feel like staying true to the old Greek and English myths, why not the Judeo-Christian ones?

At least Merlin was slightly better.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: Good Entertainment
Review: 90 percent of all movies and/or contents out there are bs, and this one is no exception. I watch it because it entertains me. For those who gave it bad reviews, I would like to see you make a good movie. Until then, keep quietly to yourself.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Even worse than the "black book of God"(The Bible)!! itself
Review: This is just as bad as the evil book "Bible" itself!!
Nobody willl ever like this movie, and I hated how Yehoveh destroyed the CHILDREN of Sodom and gommorah!(HAh! THERE IS some innocent blood on you believers' hands).
The world was never flooded, and we have the scientific research to prove it.I find it hard to believe that God spared humanity just because Noah was entertaining, and that God wouldn't let anyone on the ship procreate .Just be glad the wiccans didn't walk up to church and rant about this violence,immorality, and inaccuracy.
I don't think that a deity would drown all his subjects at the FIRST SIGN of sin, or simply because they accused his prophet of "Sorcery".

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: A mockery of God and the Bible itself
Review: this movie is the very mockery of God, God's voice is made out to be old and weak, in the movie they make it that God second guesses Himself, they talk about the scribes and how they misinterepret the stories, it is a completer mockery! do not buy it,rent it, or watch it! ever! actually, when we returned the movie for rental we taped our review on it, ha, ha! and told them the real story could be found in Genesis 1-20. Noah is made out to have just guessed there is a God, not that He had ever made himself known to man and the Sodom and Gomorrah and Lot was intertwined with Noah, assuming to make God out to be a villian, oh, how this movie totally disturbed myself and would disturb Bible Believers, that know that God is the Almighty, the Alpha and the Omega, the I Am.


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