Rating: 
Summary: A Hartley Perspective on the Human Condition
Review: As individuals, or collectively as a society, what is it, exactly, that we are afraid of? Since the beginning of time, what has really been behind all those knee-jerk reactions that have brought us to where we are today? These are the questions posed (and answered) by writer/director Hal Hartley in "No Such Thing," an often biting satire of the news media, the all-to-prevalent-in-our-society tabloid-type mentality and our response to the unknown, be it tangible or imaginary; a film that brings us face to face with fear and confronts it with humor, pathos and Hartley's own insightful and inimitable take on the human condition.Some time after a three-man television news team disappears after being sent to Iceland to investigate reports of a "monster" living on a rock island just off the coast, the station receives a tape recording from someone claiming to be the monster himself, describing in graphic detail what he did with those dispatched to find and film him. "The Boss (Helen Mirren)" of the news department, in her quest to give the public the "worst news" possible, agrees to send another employee, Beatrice (Sarah Polley), to Iceland to follow up on it, since Beatrice was engaged to the cameraman of the crew gone missing. After a temporary delay due to circumstances beyond her control, Beatrice finally makes it to Iceland, where she has to trek to a remote village on the coast (the final leg of which she has to walk, as even horses can't make it through). Once there, the locals tell their tales of the "monster," who has apparently always been with them, and point out to her the rock upon which he is purported to live. And Beatrice finds herself at the point of no return; she has come this far, and now it's just a matter of getting some help from the villagers to get her across the channel to the rock-- and her encounter with this monster who is "changeless and eternal." As no one else can, Hal Hartley has crafted and delivered a film that is part "Beauty and the Beast," part "Frankenstein," part "Forbidden Planet," and ALL Hartley. Unlike most films featuring a "monster," Hartley does not keep his audience in suspense, but reveals his "man/beast" at the very beginning, as we see him making the tape he subsequently sends to the T.V. station. And he's an ugly spud (credit goes to Mark Rappaport for special effects makeup), unique among all of the monsters in cinematic history. Hartley's creation affects a John Wayne countenance, drinks too much and speaks perfect English (how this can be so is ultimately revealed). Hartley then layers one unexpected event upon another, using black comedy to present a scathing social commentary, incisively composed through his keen insights into human nature. The allegory of the tale is concealed in who this monster really is, and what he wants, and it brings to mind Dr. Morbius and the secrets of the Krell. Absent in this film is the trademark cadence Hartley generally has his actors employ through a very deliberate delivery of their lines, and it is missed, as it is one of the elements that makes his films so engaging, creating as it does a fairly hypnotic effect (similar to the method employed by David Mamet in his films). Still, the Hartley magic is alive and well, and by keeping his volatile monster front and center throughout the film, rather than as a mysterious entity hidden in the shadows to whom he merely alludes, he succeeds in keeping his audience totally involved. Hartley is also a master of "thinking outside the box," which enables him to offer entirely unique perspectives on the human condition and this thing we call "life"; you never know where he's going to take you, which is another reason why his films are so engaging (as this one certainly is). He knows how to make that all-important connection with his audience, but he chooses to do it indirectly, offering thought-provoking scenarios in a way that gives his viewer the option of coming on board or standing by while the ship sails; a kind of "you can lead a horse to water," proposition that most filmmakers would not have the courage to employ. Keep in mind, though, that once you hit the deck with Hartley, the rewards are many and great. Working with Hartley for the first time, Sarah Polley proves to be a quick study in all things Hartley; in creating Beatrice, she demonstrates an innate grasp of his methods, and most importantly, what it is he is attempting to accomplish through his characters. And this has to be a challenge to any actor; just as not every actor can work with Woody Allen because of his approach, it would seemingly be difficult with Hartley because of his unique perspectives. Whatever the case may be, Polley succeeds splendidly, presenting a convincing character who is decidedly all "Hartley." Helen Mirren, too, demonstrates her versatility and consummate professionalism by falling into Hartley's rhythms with apparent facility. The role of "The Boss" is something of a departure for Mirren, but she immerses herself in the character with gusto and makes The Boss believable. And she seems to be enjoying herself immensely in doing so. A terrific actor, she's a joy to watch in this one. As the monster, Hartley regular Robert John Burke steals the show by creating a monster that is so stunningly atypical; this beast has a fearless swagger and the wisdom of millennia to back it up. Burke readily conveys his disdain for human beings with terms and a tone that fairly drips with cynicism, and it is in his portrayal that we find both the real humor and the pathos of the film. The supporting cast includes Baltasar Kormakur (Artaud), Julie Christie (Dr. Anna) and Stacy Dawson (Mugger). Off-beat and entertaining, "No Such Thing" is a unique experience that is going to make you think a bit.
Rating: 
Summary: Really Funny
Review: Beauty and the beast takes a turn for the worse with this ugly bust by cult writer-director Hal Hartley. When the timid Sarah Polley hoofs it to Iceland to confront her boyfriend's (literally) monstrous murderer, Robert John Burke, the two strike up an unlikely and uneasy friendship. So, Polley brings the horned creature to New York (shades of King Kong?), where her boss, tabloid TV producer Helen Mirren, wants to make him a star. Hartley's meditation on society's obsession with conformity and celebrity is intermittently engaging, but the relentlessness with which he drives home his points quickly jangles the nerves. Only the most dyed-in-the-wool Hartley fans will find this monster a ball.
Rating:
Summary: Not just for Hartley fans
Review: By any normal standard, this is a terrific movie. The two lead actresses are brilliant; production, makeup and costumes are gorgeous, the scenery is the best I've seen since 'Lawrence of Arabia', and several exquisite moments in the film rival the best of Kubrick, Godard, and Stillman. This is a Hal Hartley film though, and it doesn't get judged by any normal standard. Fact is, after 'Unbelievable Truth', 'Trust', 'Simple Men', `Amateur', `Book of Life', and 'Henry Fool', a Hal Hartley movie is expected to offer breathtaking, unbelievably distilled plot, dialog and wit, hilariously deadpan philosophizing and commentary, and characters that snap to your attention with their uncompromising honesty, honor, and relevance. And compared with Hartley's masterpieces, 'No Such Thing' just doesn't deliver. Having a reasonable budget and a truly professional crew for the first time let Hartley make his movie efficiently, but the late-night beer-and-honing sessions that were part of how the earlier movies achieved their brilliance never happened here. This movie got made from his rough draft, smoothly and professionally and just as it was, and before he could even do anything about it. Buy the other films first, this is for fans only.
Rating: 
Summary: not the best Hartley movie to start with
Review: By any normal standard, this is a terrific movie. The two lead actresses are brilliant; production, makeup and costumes are gorgeous, the scenery is the best I've seen since 'Lawrence of Arabia', and several exquisite moments in the film rival the best of Kubrick, Godard, and Stillman. This is a Hal Hartley film though, and it doesn't get judged by any normal standard. Fact is, after 'Unbelievable Truth', 'Trust', 'Simple Men', 'Amateur', 'Book of Life', and 'Henry Fool', a Hal Hartley movie is expected to offer breathtaking, unbelievably distilled plot, dialog and wit, hilariously deadpan philosophizing and commentary, and characters that snap to your attention with their uncompromising honesty, honor, and relevance. And compared with Hartley's masterpieces, 'No Such Thing' just doesn't deliver. Having a reasonable budget and a truly professional crew for the first time let Hartley make his movie efficiently, but the late-night beer-and-honing sessions that were part of how the earlier movies achieved their brilliance never happened here. This movie got made from his rough draft, smoothly and professionally and just as it was, and before he could even do anything about it. Buy the other films first, this is for fans only.
Rating:
Summary: Not Hartley's best.**1/2 out of *****
Review: By no means i liked the film, i almost liked it. ALMOST. I liked the acting, some of the music and the humor.But the film began to get boring and with many cliches.
But i liked the film, because Mr. Hartley challenged critics, but unfourtanely he missed here.
If you want to see a great Hartley flick see Henry Fool.
There are many much better things there in HF than in No Such Thing and the music is much better there. And you will see Hartley's full potential.
Rating:
Summary: "Wings Of Desire" turned inside out.
Review: Director Hal Hartley's subtly arch, deadpan observations on the Human Condition either completely grab you or leave you cold, and "No Such Thing" is no exception. Pretty TV news intern Sarah Polley gets her Big Break when she is sent to Iceland to get the "exclusive" on a Real Live Monster (Hartley stalwart Robert Burke) an immortal nihilist who kills the boredom by drinking heavily and terrorizing whoever's handy. After her plane goes down en route, her cynical boss (played with relish by Hellen Mirren) smells an even bigger story when Polley winds up as the "miracle survivor" of the tragedy. The Monster agrees to come back to N.Y.C. if Polley helps him track down the one scientist in the world who can be his Dr. Kevorkian and put him out of his misery. The pacing in the first half is leisurely yet compelling, with the Monster's morose, raving monologues set against the stark, moody Icelandic backdrop (I was reminded of David Thewliss in "Naked"). Once the movie heads for New York, however, the story steers closer to satirical camp (a la "Pecker") where the couple quickly become celebrities "du jour" with the trendy Downtown crowd. The second half feels somewhat rushed, as if Hartley were suddenly forced to edit for time. Puzzlingly, several reviewers see this dip into Mythology as something "different" for Hartley, perhaps they've forgotten his "Book Of Life", which featured Jesus and Mary wandering around modern-day Manhattan. Flawed but still quite watchable for Hartley's fans; others beware. (Just for the record, he is not a relative!)
Rating:
Summary: What it says on the back
Review: Good and evil, love and hate collide in this captivating adventure from award-winning writer/director Hal Hartley. Starring Sarah Polley ('The Claim'), Robert John Burke ('Robocop 3', Academy Award nominee Helen Mirren ('Gosford Park', and Academy Award winner Julie Christie ('Dr. Zhivago'), No Such Thing is a thoughtful, provocative film that will change the way you look at the world. New York journalist (Polley) travels to Iceland to find a monster (Burke) believed to have killed her fiance. Once she meets the beast, he opens her eyes to the horror of his once solitary existence. Moved to help him, Beatrice takes the monster to New York. But when a media firestorm erupts, Beatrice realizes her monster is more than he appears to be . . . and the world may not be ready for the truth.
Rating: 
Summary: Hartley's folly
Review: Hal tries to do too much here and it doesn't cohere. While all his films have disparate elements that he brings together based on his character's psyches, pulling them into converging situations, here the convergence is much too contrived. The focus is lost because of the presence of too many reasons to make the film--media satire, the stupidity of man as revealed by history, Beauty and the Beast, man's place in the universe, meaningless intellectuals and scientists, et cetera, et cetera. When a young woman reporter (Sarah Polley) finds out her fiance Jim was killed in Iceland, she travels there to find out what happened and encounters a foul-mouthed creature who admits to killing Jim and his colleagues. The monster speaks perfect English and rants and raves to the reporter about killing a lot of stupid human beings--either that or wanting to die himself. She convinces him to come with her to New York where he becomes a media darling for a day or two, then is subjected to intense scientific research. The monster is impervious to bullets and tells the reporter only one man can kill him... This is really Hartley doing a comic book version of his own type of movie. Too bad, because there are some interesting elements here. For example, a pre-credit sequence reveals the monster immediately and has him spouting his typical vitriol; this works very well. Aside from the plethora of themes tossed out willy-nilly, there are too many cliches in the film to really make it work. The dialogue thrown off by Helen Mirren's media boss is much too trite to contribute any real substance and while she's always an excellent actress, she tries hard to make this work and just can't do it. Similarly, Damian Young's research scientist spews lines that hark back to the dopiest 50s science fiction films. And the entire sequence when girl and monster first come to NY City is total cliche. Additionally, the reporter was the sole survivor of a jumbo jet crash. The only reason to include this was to, ostensibly, establish more of a link between her and the monster--i.e., she's a media star for a short time based on freakish events, and he too shares the same brief spotlight because of his freakish appearance. But this link is much too tenuous; the reporter's survival of the accident really does not add anything to the film at all. For the best Hartley film, see Henry Fool where his control is perfect. Another excellent film by him is Amateur. But this one is a misfire.
Rating:
Summary: The real "Sexy Beast"
Review: I also can't believe that the critics didn't like this film. This film is very original and incredibly funny. Robert Burke is the real "Sexy Beast". His performance was amazing!!!!! I loved the concept of this mythological figure living in the present. I hope Mr. Hartley is not discouraged by the bad criticisms. There are not many independent filmmakers left that haven't sold out to Hollywood. Mr. Hartley, please keep your integrity!!!! We need you!!!!
Rating:
Summary: Critics, just dont understand anymore
Review: I cant believe that critics hated this film, Roger Ebert thought that this wasnt a challenging film, well guess what Mr.Ebert? It is, it seems that nobody this days can get into something orignal just because of the fear that critics will hate the film, its a good thing that Hartley isnt that kind of director. No Such Thing is when Hartley theres to go further, is not as epic as Henry Fool or as different as The Book of Life, i think this is his most challenging project yet.
The film has a lot of clever humor and acting, Robert John Burke potrayed the monster perfectly, i dont think this is Mr.Hartleys best film, i give it three stars and a half, because it began to got boring towards the end and i didnt like the ending much, see this movie and ignore the -------critcs
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