Star Wars - Episode II, Attack of the Clones (Full Screen Edition)

Rating:
Summary: George Lucas Redeemed (and YES, I've SEEN the film)
Review: If Star Wars: Episode 1 was a disappointment because of cutesy kids, cutesy slapstick, mediocre acting and some poor writing, Episode 2 dispatches that ghost with one swoop of Mace Windu's purple lightsaber. Attack of the Clones is everything Phantom Menace was not, and emerges not only as an important chapter in the Star Wars saga, but a groovy stand-alone movie as well. There's a lot to talk about, so let's cut to the chase.

As expected, the plot involves old pal Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGreggor), now a master jedi, and his padawan learner, Anakin Skywalker, AKA The Future Darth Vader (Hayden Christiansen). The two are dispatched to investigate a series of assassination attempts on Senator Amidala (Natalie Portman), who is attempting to lead an effort to prevent the Galactic Republic to refuse creation of an army to take care of a faction of rebels led by Count Dooku, (the incredible Christopher Lee). This much we learn from the opening credits. In the interest of keeping the review relatively spoiler-free, let's talk about what makes Attack of the Clones great.

First of all, lack of cutesy stuff. Yes, there is some of the usual Star Wars banter and some slapstick, but it manages to serve more as comic relief. Jar-Jar has a minimal (but ultimately important) role, and his total screen-time is about two minutes. The CGI isn't distracting, most of the time. If there is one area where Attack of the Clones could stand to really improve, it's in some of the creatures that look more like cartoons than live-action aliens and... things. And when characters are riding various creatures, it REALLY sticks out, but compare it with some of the scenes from Empire and Jedi, and it's quite an improvement.

The acting has improved considerably in Attack of the Clones. The Patented Lucas Thousand-Yard Stare is still there when McGreggor has nothing to talk to but a blank blue screen, but its presence is minimal (a Phantom Menace perhaps?) The film is a whopper - almost two and a half hours - but a good deal of that is spent in character development, another area Lucas has been criticized for. It's not enough to drag the film down, but it is a refreshing change of pace from constant battling. Because he gives Anakin and Padme ample time to develop, their relationship seems far more real than it could have been - and so does Anakin's decisions. Hayden Christiansen plays Anakin exactly as he should be: a self-centered, slightly spoiled, emotionally unstable, drunk-on-power punk. He's a mix between the kid in class who had all the answers, and the jock who always scored the touchdown and dated the head cheerleader. The audience isn't supposed to like him, although he does have likable traits, but as the movie progresses, they are increasingly gobbled up by his surrender to emotions.

Not to give too much away, but this is really a film that deserves the title Star Wars - the others might rightly be called Star Skirmish, or Star Scuffle, or even Star Minor Exchange of Fists. The last half-hour of the film is dominated by an enormous battle that can rightly be called a war. Where Lord of the Rings put an army of twenty-thousand on the screen for a few minutes, Attack of the Clones puts a larger army, with airships, lasers, lightsabers, and all kinds of other stuff for a solid twenty-five minutes. It culminates in the major Jedi showdown of the movie, where Christopher Lee shows off his stuff and Yoda proves he's the absolute best jedi ever. This battle makes up for the short, unclimactic scrapping Darth Maul and Qui-Gon got into at the end of Menace. Most of the time, all you see are the reflections of lightsabers, the grunts of fighting, and strangely illuminated faces, combined with distance shots of the combatants laying into each other. It's extremely effective, and rates as the coolest Jedi battle to date.

Attack of the Clones is, finally, a worthy successor to the Star Wars title. Although it does make some of Menace make a little more sense, and it certainly leads up to the classic trilogy, it's a great film on its own and should do very well for itself. If you are disappointed by this film, get out of your parents basement (or your film-school Ivory Tower) and gain a little perspective.

Little Easter Eggs to watch/listen for: when Anakin first walks into the club, make sure to watch the leftmost TV monitor. When Obi-Wan is in the diner, listen VERY CAREFULLY to the background music.

And, by all means, enjoy the movie. It's a cinematic treat, and much more than another feather in Lucas' cap.

Final rating: A-

Rating:
Summary: Deleted scenes reveal that a much better film was possible
Review: After watching the deleted scenes, I couldn't help but wonder what got into George's head in not using some of them in place of other unneccessary scenes of exposition. Most notable are the scenes in which Anakin and Padme go to her family's home. The scenes have a unique quality to them and boast "better" writing than what the prequels have seen so far--actual character development! It is simply unbelievable that we know so little about the mother of the "savior" of the galaxy and, in having a chance to do know her better, Lucas abandons including them in the theatrical release. The story of the entire saga centers around and hinges upon its main characters, and, so far, Lucas has decided to beat us over the head with unneccessary details about corruption in the Republic. The audience is always just on a "need-to-know" basis and is more concerned about how a film's characters are responding to the events surrounding them--not every contrived detail of the events themselves.

George Lucas is not a good screenwriter or director. Despite his early successes with "American Graffiti" and the original Star Wars in 1977, he doesn't appear to possess care or discernment for the fundamental tenets of good filmmaking. It's as though he's forgotten all that he learned along with his pal, Steven Spielberg, at UCLA. He doesn't direct his actors well, write them good dialog, develop their characters, or make us care for them by giving us scenes of genuine intimacy. Without characters that we care for, the story, production, and everything else simply falls apart. In conclusion, unless he's, somehow, been doing the prequels this way intentionally (and I can't see why), I have major reservations about Episode III; I simply believe that it is too late. It's as though he recognized that his real strengths were in the areas of producing, story outlining, and technical ideas and then, suddenly, forgot it when he decided to do the prequels.

There are a lot of people who could've scripted and/or directed these prequels better (heck, I'll even boast that I could've!), but Lucas decided to let his ego get the best of him. Well, it hasn't paid off so far and I'm not holding my breath for 2005.

Rating:
Summary: George Needs Help with writing Romantic Scenes!!
Review: My question is: Did George Lucas write the romantic story in this movie? Because if that's his idea of love developing-YIKES!!

How can we possibly be convinced that Anakin is in love with Padme with such wooden acting by Hayden Christiansen? I'll try and believe that it's bad writing and direction and try and give Hayden a break. But boy, it better get better in Episode 3 or no one is going to believe this love story!!!

If Anakin is suppose to burn with love and passion for the Senator then, good grief, give the boy some facial expressions!!!
Where's the struggle of the love he has for Padme and the pull of the Dark Side?!! It's really not believable here.

Is George Lucas' real love life this wooden???

Rating:
Summary: Star Wars Back On Track
Review: After being somewhat disappointed with Episode 1, my expectations for 2 was tempered a little. And I admit to being a little disappointed with Episode 2 as well when I left the theatre. Keep in mind I didn't watch a digital screening, so the sound and picture fell flat. It wasn't until I purchased the DVD that I could see this movie shine.
I've heard the disparaging remarks about Attack Of The Clones, and I'll admit to some of them being justified. The love story is somewhat stilted and abrupt. The Han and Leia love story seemed much more organic. There are a couple of plot holes, namely the fact that the Jedi don't seem to find the Jango Fett connection with the clones and the seperatists even worth mentioning(Maybe they'll comment on that in Episode 3). But one must realize that these movies don't claim to be art-house fare. Star Wars is the progeny of thirties pulp and movie serials. Dialogue takes a back seat to spectacle. And the trajectery of the story is driven more by the visuals than complex character development. Come on people, this is Star Wars, not Lawrence Of Arabia.
These things taken in consideration, I must say that I have a particular fondness for this film, especially the DVD. It contains none of the cutesy characters that infested Return Of The Jedi and The Phantom Menace. There is a generally darker and more atmospheric color palette. The cityscape of Coruscant jumps off the screen, I've never seen Tattoine look so moody and varied and Naboo looks as lush and beautiful as ever.
We can also start to see the bridge between the two trilogies with the look of the ships losing the elegance of the first film and shifting more towards the industrial. It was a nice ironic touch to see that the Star Destroyers grew out of the Jedi Starfighters. Also to see the origins of the Death Star was another interesting nod. These little echos make the film worthy of multiple viewings, and these touches will undoubtedly reach a crescendo in Episode 3.
As far as the Jedi are concerned, we've never seen more than a three battle it out at a time. This time out we see two hundred in the Harryhausenesque battle in the colosseum. Finally Samuel Jackson gets to swagger out with his lightsaber and do battle. And let's not forget Yoda who turns up with strange company and saves the day.
And since this is a Star Wars movie, we need to have a good battle, and that's what we recieve. The last twenty minutes of the film gives us the biggest battle we have yet seen in the series as the Clone Wars kick off. The thousands of CG droids and clones doing battle on the wastes of Geonosis is one of the best battle sequences in movie history.
So did I like it? Well yeah. It wasn't perfect, Threepio made Jar Jar look like Alec Guiness, but my affection for this movie does surpass Return Of the Jedi, like I said, this movie is almost devoid of cute characters, and I have a feeling the younglings are in trouble in the next film. So while I rate the film itself four stars, the DVD package gets 5. It's simply the best looking DVD yet released. A bench mark to be sure. Not only doesn't the movie look great and sound great, but there's little skimping on the extras. I doubt that they will get the OT DVDs to look this good, but if anyone can come close, its Lucas and his crew.

Rating:
Summary: Movie - average, DVD package - excellent.
Review: If you cried when Yoda took out his lightsabre to face Dooku, then you are a Star Wars "trajic" like me. It pains me to say however, this is easily the most disappointing movie in the saga. Yes, worse than The Phantom Menace. Remember, TPM had the most pressure to perform than any other film in movie history. It isn't that bad a movie; in ten years time, it will review much better than in 1999. TPM actually flows much more smoothly (due to better editing) than AOTC and the acting is considerably more impressive.

The "Attack of the Clones" DVD is exceptional - the extras enable this package to be one of the best on the market. But the package doesn't save the movie which is terribly slow and cliched throughout its middle section; namely, Anaken and Padme from the time they leave Coruscant to uncomfortable Naboo then the detour to Tatooine and finally the computer game - conveyer belt / embarassing rescue scene. However, the movie is saved by the beginning of the Clone Wars and lightsabre duels.

I recommend that you wait for the Episodes 1, 2, 3 DVD package or the 6 movie package when that is eventually released. I believe the deleted scenes would service the films better by being in them (like the extended Lord of the Rings DVD's), therefore, wait for George to produce this product. Hopefully, he will place the theatrical version AND the special extended editions in the one package (like the Alien Quadrilogy).

Rating:
Summary: Can one really bad movie wreck an entire franchise? YES!!!
Review: Wow, what a truly awful, pathetic movie.

And here I am, speaking as an original Star Wars fans from way back in 1977. Was that a seminal movie to remember or what? I still remember watching that movie in college, and feeling the incredible thrill and awe and excitement.

I remember also the thrill and anticipation for "Phantom Menace", after such a long, long, hiatus.

Well, Phantom Menace did not exactly live up to the hype, but at least it was not a completely awful movie. The sheer inventiveness and energy of Ray Park as Darth Maul, and the grace of Natalie Portman as Amidala/Padme, more than made up for the idiotic Jar Jar Binks and the retard boy who played the young Anakin.

But, as if we hadn't gotten enough of ONE bad child actor playing the future Darth Vader, in this movie, we get Hayden Christensen, as a pouty teen age version of Anakin Skywalker. A pouty teen ager who can't act either.

And what ever happened to Industrial Light and Magic's vaunted cutting edge special effects? Almost everything in this movie looked like it was old technology. The CGI and special effects for "Lord of the Rings" was ten times better and more realistic. George Lucas made some bad decisions here - he went almost entirely with CGI to do the special effects, especially the background sets and the robots and androids, when a combination of traditional models and set design and real actors would have served him much better. Peter Jackson realized the current limitations of CGI and ended up producing a perfect fusion of traditional and CGI techniques that was nearly indistinguishable from reality in "Lord of the Rings". "Attack of the Clones" has so much CGI, and the look and feel of the CGI is so flat and featureless that it looks fake and cartoon-like, not much different from one of those cheesy Saturday morning CGI cartoon shows where human actors step into a CGI cartoon world.

But it was the inane plot-lines that ultimately did this movie in. The worst scene of all time had to to have been when Yoda started having his light-saber duel with Count Dooku. At that point, I just had to close my eyes and sink down into my seat in the theater in utter despair (that was the only time that I have watched this movie, in the theater). Yes, definitely, it was the sight of Master Yoda bouncing off the walls like a rubber ball, wielding a light saber, that finally nailed the coffin lid shut on this once proud and trend-setting movie franchise for me.

And let's forget about George Lucas's claim that this movie was supposed to be a love story. Even an accomplished actress like Natalie Portman couldn't save this dog of a plot line, especially playing off of Hayden Christensen. I mean, really, she's supposed to be six or seven years older than him. All I could think of at that point in the story was, love story? What love story? Why? Why? WHY? What redeeming qualities do you see in this whiny pathetic teen age toad? Run! Save yourself, Princess!!! It's just a Jedhi mind trick!!!

One has to remember that George Lucas once also made "Howard the Duck", and that is about the only thing that explains this awful, and I mean really, really bad, just ugh, take your breath away, oooooof, bad movie. It isn't even on the level of "Plan 9 From Outer Space". Now that was a bad movie that could be appreciated for it sheer badness. "Attack of the Clones" is so thoroughly infused with pretensions of greatness that it has not even this one redeeming quality.

Yes, George Lucas, it's time to wake up and hear the truth. You are a billionaire and an emperor in your own little kingdom. You are surrounded by all these yes-men, who are afraid to tell you just how bad of a director and screenwriter you are. You have no ability to cast the right actors for a movie part or to show the actors how to get the performance needed for a scene. Nobody around you dares to tell you that your famously penny-pinching ways are turning ILM's special effects movie technology into yesterday's news. You need to let go of your creation and hire better writers and directors take hold of this story. But you won't and you haven't.

Will I go and watch your (thank goodness) last movie in this series? Perhaps. But I'm not really looking forward to it. And this is what you've done to your once faithful fan base.

Rating:
Summary: Perhaps three-and-a-half
Review: After the rather rushed climax of "Episode I" (which was still a worthy into the Star Wars Saga), writer-director George Lucas took a much more epic approach with "Episode II--Attack of the Clones."
The Clones themselves make only a brief appearance in the final battle. Mainly, the film follows Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and his hot-headed apprentice Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christiansen) as they protect Senator Amidala (Natalie Portman) from assassination. As they relentlessly pursue the assassins, the trail leads to Count Dooku (Christopher Lee), a former Jedi turned Sith Lord. Samuel L. Jackson plays a significant bit as a Jedi Master, and Yoda appears throughout the movie.
The film's biggest problem is, however ironic it may seem, the visual effects. Lucas's decision to go almost completely-CGI was a bold attempt, but ultimately fails. Most of the sets and alien characters (including Yoda) are computer-generated, and the result is that most of the battles and locations seem almost cartoonish. Despite all its glory, CGI still has many limitations, and Lucas failed to realize this.
Despite that huge flaw, and Hayden Christiansen's juvenile portrayal of Anakin, the film does manage to entertain. The action scenes are exhilarating, and McGregor makes an excellent Obi-Wan. "Star Wars: Episode II--Attack of the Clones" is a worthy, if hugely flawed, entry into the most famous movie saga in history.

Rating:
Summary: One more movie to go
Review: The PT has been great so far. AOTC is even better. I can't wait for the 3rd movie.

Rating:
Summary: A Slight but Welcome Improvement Over Episode 1
Review: The lack of small children yelling "yippee" every five minutes is a welcome change. So is better, more confident, acting by Ewan MacGregor. Natalie Portman still can't act but she's at least easy on the eyes. Haydyn Christenson has added bitter and petulent to the sullen brattiness Jake Lloyd brought to the part of young Darth. Pathetic. Pretty boy pouty Padawan Skywalker wouldn't frighten a kitten. Hard to believe this twerp is going to grow up to terrorize the entire galaxy. Almost no effort is made to imbue any of the characters with the style and substance of the heroes from the first trilogy. Episode 1 wasn't just a singular bump in the road. The thrill is gone. George Lucas cannot direct or scriptwrite and his Jabba-sized ego won't let him turn either over to a more competent peer. Now we see the tremendous debt he owes Harrison Ford and his original group of special effects wizards. I'm almost looking forward to Episode 3 just to get it out of the way so we can all move on and forget about this "pretrilogy" ever having been made.

Rating:
Summary: Foooooooolllllllllls!
Review: How could I have ever admired the Star Wars franchize? What did George Lucas see in me as a fan? People who watch the Star Wars films, play Star Wars video games, read Star Wars books, dwell in their parent's basements, and wield toy things which they call Lightsabers are blind to reality. They cover their eyes with their own ignorance and arrogance, and they are too brain dead to understand the concept of life. If that's not strong enough of a conviction, then what is?
The love story in this movie is for weaklings who have no concept on how reality is. This movie deserves to be destroyed along with every Star Wars film, book, video game, and toy. I have seen the errors of my ways, because all the five star reviews I have written about this movie were brain dead, and, I was a lovesick weakling who was ignorant. George Lucas needs to be taken out back and beaten until his heart stops. It's time to put an end to this Star Wars trash, and rid our planet of this scurge once and for all.