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Mars Needs Women

Mars Needs Women

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Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Mars Needs Rehearsal!
Review: Of all the bad Larry Buchanan movies ever made, this is one of them. And, sadly enough, this may be his best.

Martians Tommy Kirk and Company, in vacuformed bodysuits with "boing" antennae, announce to the Pentagon that Mars needs women. When America refuses to cooperate by providing a few suitable single females, Kirk and Crew baldly state that they will simply do their own informal poll and take some girls on the sly. The Secretary of State informs the public that Martian kidnappers are on the move, and creates a think-tank to deal with the problem. One of the think-tank's members, space geneticist Yvonne Craig, falls into Kirk's sights as a perfect inductee for the Martian breeding program - and, unaware that Kirk is in fact one of the Martians she is working against, she falls for him while he is in undercover guise.

This is one of the weirdest movies ever made. It isn't a comedy, nor does it try to be one. That it isn't good goes without saying - but it's really not that bad, either. Strangely enough, the script would actually have worked, if given a halfway decent production. It's all played serious as a heart attack, and only the incredibly cheap production values, drastically overused stock-footage padding, and a lack of rehearsal that make the performances come off as first dress night at the local community theater kill it. It's got virtually no entertainment value, and yet the seriousness with which the story is undertaken almost hypnotically holds your attention. It's sometimes amusing - and even interesting - in spite of itself.

Recommended only for unusually thorough sci-fi cinema buffs.

Rating: 2 stars
Summary: Mars Needs Rehearsal!
Review: Of all the bad Larry Buchanan movies ever made, this is one of them. And, sadly enough, this may be his best.

Martians Tommy Kirk and Company, in vacuformed bodysuits with "boing" antennae, announce to the Pentagon that Mars needs women. When America refuses to cooperate by providing a few suitable single females, Kirk and Crew baldly state that they will simply do their own informal poll and take some girls on the sly. The Secretary of State informs the public that Martian kidnappers are on the move, and creates a think-tank to deal with the problem. One of the think-tank's members, space geneticist Yvonne Craig, falls into Kirk's sights as a perfect inductee for the Martian breeding program - and, unaware that Kirk is in fact one of the Martians she is working against, she falls for him while he is in undercover guise.

This is one of the weirdest movies ever made. It isn't a comedy, nor does it try to be one. That it isn't good goes without saying - but it's really not that bad, either. Strangely enough, the script would actually have worked, if given a halfway decent production. It's all played serious as a heart attack, and only the incredibly cheap production values, drastically overused stock-footage padding, and a lack of rehearsal that make the performances come off as first dress night at the local community theater kill it. It's got virtually no entertainment value, and yet the seriousness with which the story is undertaken almost hypnotically holds your attention. It's sometimes amusing - and even interesting - in spite of itself.

Recommended only for unusually thorough sci-fi cinema buffs.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: The worst B movie ever made
Review: This movie is even worse than "in the year 2889" with Paul Peterson,if thats possible.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: The worst B movie ever made
Review: This movie is even worse than "in the year 2889" with Paul Peterson,if thats possible.

Rating: 5 stars
Summary: old yeller's owner and batgirl in a space age love story!!!
Review: This movie is so much fun. I didn't think I was going to be able to get through it, when I sat through 16 minutes of stock footage from the US airforce. I couldn't turn away! it just gets worse and worse! Men glare at hot young things and strippers twirl, but the fun is just beginning, cuz MARS NEEDS WOMEN!!!
The only thing I didn't like about the dvd itself is that the transfer is pretty bad. Not up to par with the only midnight movies that have been released in the series. It is only in pan and scan which for once is fine with me, cuz I didn't need to see the ample body parts of the women all over the screen. There wasn't a trailer. I think I will watch it again tomorrow and see if I can sit through it again. No matter what I tell you, you have to see it to believe it.

Rating: 1 stars
Summary: Yeah, yeah, and Soylent Green is people...
Review: When the first minute of the movie involves a bad trick-cut of a woman disappearing during a tennis match, you know you're in for it.

I admit I have seen this movie twice. Not because it was actually a good movie- far from it!- but because I felt the need to spread the joy to my friends; the joy that is Tommy Kirk's alien colleague explaining, completely deadpan, how great it would be for their woman-finding mission if one of the candidates was well-versed in sex and genetics, 'both fundamentally and as it applies to space!'

I give this one star because z-movies deserve nothing more. If they are truly classics, as this one's title suggests, one star is a badge of honour. MNW does not dissappoint in the cheese department and I was cackling out loud through most of it (and howling by the climax).

WARNING: Lots of stock footage here, folks. Many Amazon viewers have mentioned how completely boring this movie was, most of which was due to a tiny tic in the director's brain that must have repeated to him over and over: "I've got ten minutes of footage of a plane taking off, and by gum, I'm going to USE it!!"
The premise, title, acting, plot and dialogue completely make up for this in my opinion, but feel free to fast-forward through the following scenes:
-The strip-tease that isn't really
-Hypnotization! (actually all the hypnotizing made me want to fall asleep)
-Another strip-tease
-A large part of a football game
-Any scene with a plane

The sad thing is, there is some sub-decent acting and intruiging symbolism buried under all the nonsense and wonderfully horrendous exposition. However, the plot goes all over the place and can't decide whether its own characters are rapists, lechers or just lonely, and ends up being all three at times(creepily enough).

Yes, it might be a little slow in patches, but those priding themselves on B-movie stamina should definitely take this one for a ride. All the elements are here: Laughably quotable dialogue, wooden acting, bizarre views on sex (all the more intruiging considering the lead, Tommy Kirk, was ousted from Disney for being supposedly gay), questionable science, misplaced 'drama', clumsy editing, bizarre leaps of logic not seen since 'Plan 9', huge gaping plot holes, bad special effects, incredible amounts of pure Swiss cheese and a phrase to rival that of "Soylent green is people" in terms of yelling value.

This one is golden. And having to fast-forward the nude-less so-called strip-tease just makes it funnier.



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