Rating: Summary: Urban Classics' Masterpiece Review: Assault is the true masterpiece of the almighty Urban Classics Studios, the same people who brought you the classic Galactic Gigolo and the overrated Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-rama. This video is a must for parties. My friends and I don't even need to watch it anymore, we can just repeat the lines to each other. Assault doesn't take itself seriously at all and is great because of that. Trust me, 10 minutes of Assault beats the entire 1999 critics poll of The Village Voice. Standout performances include Nick Cassavetes, son of the famed director John Cassavetes, and Elizabeth Caitan. If you can't enjoy this movie, you probably take yourself far too seriously.
Rating: Summary: Assault Of The Killer Movie Review: Brought to you by the same people who made 'Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity' and 'Sorority Babes In The Slime Ball Bowl-a-Rama' (of which I loved) this one wasn't up to par. Elizabeth Kaitan (or Cayton, from the movie Slave Girls) is a co star in this flick that is kind of a Thelma and Louis b-movie. Two exotic dancers (bimbos) get framed for a murder by being bimbos (blatantly stupid). They hop in a car and partake in some adventures. They meet up with surfer guys, gangsters, and cops. Pretty well getting chased around the highways until they finally get to Mexico. The girls flaunt their sexy bodies and act totally like bimbos...I suppose the main idea for the movie. Absolutely nothing else happens in this movie.
Rating: Summary: A timeless classic worth repeat viewing ... Review: Every once in a while you run across a gem of a movie, usually a comedy, that keeps you coming back to watch it over and over until you know every line. For me, Starship Troopers, The Cable Guy, Up In Smoke, and most recently, The Matrix, fall into that category. Assault rocks, especially when you're partying as much as the characters in the film.
Rating: Summary: Not bad enough to be funny, just bad Review: My wife and I love funny-bad bimbo movies. Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death is one of our favorites, and we love anything by Andy Sidaris. This one just reaks. The dialog is flat and the people don't look like they had fun making it. Rent it, don't buy it. Yech.
Rating: Summary: Not bad enough to be funny, just bad Review: My wife and I love funny-bad bimbo movies. Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death is one of our favorites, and we love anything by Andy Sidaris. This one just reaks. The dialog is flat and the people don't look like they had fun making it. Rent it, don't buy it. Yech.
Rating: Summary: More than meets the eye Review: Seen "Thelma & Louise"? A fine movie, no doubt. Now, thought it had an original plot - or, at worst, that it was the first gender switcheroo on the male-dominated "road movies" of the '60s and '70s ? Check this one, and think again. Of course, for the past twenty-odd years Hollywood has been plagiarizing itself right and left. Still, AKB is significant - and scary - as an example of how many "major" productions are, basically, ripoffs of low-budget movies. Now, who are the artists, and who are the hucksters ?
Rating: Summary: Queen of the B movie! Review: This film is the mother lode of most B films out there. It includes a cast of very well known actors such as Nick Cassavettes, Eddie Deezen (anyone who knows movies knows who he is), Griffin O'Neal, and Jaimie Bozian. Not to forget the main stars of the film Elizabeth Kaitan and Christina Whitaker. Their portrayals of the street smart go go dancers who outsmart the law and just about everyone else is impecable. I believe they put their so called counterparts, Thelma and Louise, to shame. Could Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon pull off the classical art form in a rock and roll format..... in bikini's? I think not! The repoire between these two fine actresses mezmorizes any viewers of the film. Not to mention their way cool Plymouth Fury! The dialouge is superb....well, it is really funny. Perhaps besting the written dialouge is the ad libbed background lines. Although you really have to listen or see the film about 100 times, this part really makes some scenes shine. As a veteran Bimbo watcher, the best aspect of the film is the surfers and their crazy antics. Their car also rules and makes any surfer jealous beyond belief. Tune into their lingo and "pastimes" and feel like you are sitting in the back seat with "Billy-Boy". I could go on and on about this film and recite the entire dialouge, but I will just say....WATCH THIS FILM AND LEARN! So.....COWABUNGA and enjoy!
Rating: Summary: Queen of the B movie! Review: This film is the mother lode of most B films out there. It includes a cast of very well known actors such as Nick Cassavettes, Eddie Deezen (anyone who knows movies knows who he is), Griffin O'Neal, and Jaimie Bozian. Not to forget the main stars of the film Elizabeth Kaitan and Christina Whitaker. Their portrayals of the street smart go go dancers who outsmart the law and just about everyone else is impecable. I believe they put their so called counterparts, Thelma and Louise, to shame. Could Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon pull off the classical art form in a rock and roll format..... in bikini's? I think not! The repoire between these two fine actresses mezmorizes any viewers of the film. Not to mention their way cool Plymouth Fury! The dialouge is superb....well, it is really funny. Perhaps besting the written dialouge is the ad libbed background lines. Although you really have to listen or see the film about 100 times, this part really makes some scenes shine. As a veteran Bimbo watcher, the best aspect of the film is the surfers and their crazy antics. Their car also rules and makes any surfer jealous beyond belief. Tune into their lingo and "pastimes" and feel like you are sitting in the back seat with "Billy-Boy". I could go on and on about this film and recite the entire dialouge, but I will just say....WATCH THIS FILM AND LEARN! So.....COWABUNGA and enjoy!
Rating: Summary: BETTER THAN THELMA AND LOUISE Review: This film predated Thelma and Louise by a few years and surely served as a model for that film without being credited as such. It received justly high reviews by prominent crtics.e.g, Roger Ebert. Elizabeth Kaitin, who went on to become a soft core staple, does an excellent job. No eplicit sex here
Rating: Summary: A Classic B Rated Bimbo Flick Review: This is one of my favorite movies of all time. Ever since I first saw AOTKB in 1989 I have been a true fan, in fact a killer bimbo fanatic. An all time classic movie line, "Oh no...A bimbo with a gun!!!".
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