Rating: 
Summary: Scorpion has sting!
Review: Woody Allen's lastest movie is a dandy! It is set in 1940 and the photography, texture of the film, and attention to details on the set lend absolute authenticity to it. As is a signature of Allen's films, the dialog is king. In Jade Scorpion, the dialog is witty, clever, and doesn't detract from the plot points. I thought it was very well done and would recommend it to anyone who prefers clever dialog to explosions and special effects. In other words, it's a movie for grown ups and I seriously doubt teenagers or younger would enjoy it. The only negative for was Dan Akroid who has been around long enough to be given a lot of forgivness for his poor acting skills. His acting was as bad in this as in almost everything else he's done. Other than that, everyone was excellent. Go see the movie!
Rating: 
Summary: Disappointed and Not Funny
Review: The previews are the best part of this movie. The potential for this to be a great movie lose steam about 30 mins into the movie when Woody Allen starts acting (or so he thinks he's acting) as if he's in a hypnotic trance. Also, too many flubs in the movie make the timeline (1940) seem unreal. For example, when CW Briggs (Woody) drops a $20 bill dropped into the peddler's cup for information; when Betty Ann (Helen Hunt) drives into a garage--that opens AUTOMATICALLY--to meet Voltan (David Ogden Stiers). Yes, there were a few snickers throughout the move, but without Helen Hunt, this movie is da bomb! And I don't mean that in a good way.
Rating: 
Summary: Woody is back!
Review: I am a die-hard Woody Allen fan and I must say that he hit a homerun with "Curse of the Jade Scorpion". I found myself laughing out loud at least 2 dozen times. A lot of great one-liners. Also, it had a plot! It was quite creative the way he blended in the "mastermind" jewel thief story with the love story and comedy. The other characters were awesome too. Those who gave it poor reviews have lost sight of what a real film is. Thank Gdodness Woody made this film, it's the first real movie I've seen in a long time. If you like Woody, his sense of humor, and the way he can tell a story, then you'll love this film.
Rating:
Summary: The Scorpion has a wicked sting.............
Review: Woody Allen's "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" is a disappointment there is no doubt. But a disappointing Woody Allen film is still leagues ahead of most of what is being released lately. The premise sounds promising: CW Briggs (Woody Allen)is an insurance investigator, working for Chris Magruder (Dan Ackroyd)who has brought in an efficiency expert Betty Ann Fitzgerald (Helen Hunt) to improve the operation of the office. Betty Ann and CW take an instant dislike of each other. Charlize Theron plays a "femme fatale," Laura Kensington, whom CW meets on a case. One of the funniest bits in the movie is CW's "seduction" of Laura...first rate Allen. But most of the dialogue misses and the sub plot with Voltan (David Ogden Stiers), a magician-hipnotist is only mildly amusing. Despite all of this, if the performances are charming, well-written script or not, we often leave the theater with a smile on our face. Unfortunately this is not the case with "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion." Allen's performance, his usual nebbish role comes off only somewhat amusing and Hunt mostly looks strained and stressed and her lighting is uncomplimentary. Did anyone look at the rushes? Compare her here with her radiant performance in "What Women Want" or even "Pay it Forward" and you can see what I am talking about. She's simply poorly directed here and when she is well directed she literally glows. Charlize Theron, in a small role, comes off best I think. She looks great and she delivers her lines with the appropriate Mae West/Veronica Lake allure. Woody Allen is without a doubt a great filmmaker responsible for some of finest movies of the last 30 years: "Hannah and her Sisters," "Annie Hall," "Manhatten," "Bananas," "Crimes and Misdemeanors," "Love and Death." "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" is not one of them.
Rating: 
Summary: Good, not great
Review: Walking into the theatre, I had no idea what to expect, since before I had never seen a Woody Allen flick before. But I decided to see this anyways, because I already saw "Jay and Silent Bob" and did not want to see "Summer Catch". What i noticed almost immediately was the styling of the film; as you probably have read, it is supposed to be set in the 1940's, and whoever was behind the styling of the film did a great job of making it feel genuine while not overbearing (in that today's culture can still somewhat relate to it). Woody Allen's acting was a bit stiff, although I don't know if he's always like this or if it was just for this movie. Helen Hunt was a surprising pick for me in this movie, but she deserves kudos for carrying it off perfectly. Both Allen and Hunt do excellent "hypnotee's". The plot, probably the best thing about this movie (note: this is not a bad thing for the rest of the movie), is well pulled off in that it's able to be complex enough to keep the movie going for just under 2 hours, while giving the audience and cast a chance to stay caught up. Now, you may be wondering why I only gave it three stars. As a result, here are my few complaints about this movie. First, there are many funny jokes, but there are also some that aren't. Secondly, as i said Allen's acting was a bit stuff, and at points it becomes painfully obvious. Finally, this is the kind of movie you should be in a certain mood for. Don't expect to be on the edge of your seat; it does require a certain level of patience; but it's still worth it. Overall, if you have patience and want to see a light hearted comedy with an interesting plot, see this one.
Rating: 
Summary: Bad. Just bad.
Review: Making me half-giggle once in a movie isn't going to cut it if I'm bored all the way through. Woody Allen has gotten too old and ugly to still fancy himself in such roles. He needs to stick to writing and directing. Let's just say this movie is trying way too hard and not making it even close.
Rating:
Summary: Mr. Allen's film is the best of the year.
Review: The best film of the year so far! Allen's comedic gem set in 1940 about an insurance investigator, C. W. Briggs (Allen), and his map cap relations with Betty-Anne Fitzgerald (Hunt) is a glorious satirical comedy. Allen, very sophisticatedly, interrupts the crime story with wonderful bits on love and all of its classifications. Charlize Theron plays, with exuberance and sexiness, a mysterious smoking dam that tempts Allen's character; her character represents lust. Dan Aykroyd plays the chief detective who cheats on his wife, whom we never see, with Fitzgerald; this character represents hopeless love. Everything is surrounded around a delightful crime story full of magic and suspense. Briggs and Fitzgerald cannot stand each other in reality, but, when put under the curse of the jade scorpion, they fall for each other (but not at the same time). Allen suggests that true, pure love is not possible in reality. True love is the victim of magic! Therefore, love is magic. There is a wonderful scene where Briggs and Fitzgerald embrace each other and fireworks begin to fly! As a metaphor on love, this scene is perfect! But here's the good part: the dialogue. Allen's dialogue is the most witty he was written in years! While it's not laugh out loud comedy every second (although it kind of is), it is still the funniest Allen film since the ones made in the 70's and the best comedy of his since Deconstructing Harry. At one point, Fitzgerald says to Briggs before entering his room, "I'm not going to catch any viruses in there, will I?" He responds, "Hunny, viruses wouldn't be able to live in your blood stream. It's too cold!" The best thing about it is that Allen understands all the jokes, that is why they're realized so well.
Only criticism: some haphazard explanations bring it down a notch. Woody Allen, Helen Hunt, and Charlize Theron are all flawless in their performances. I love the Curse! Allen is the most prolific filmmaker in America. He is also the most talented.
Rating:
Summary: Woody's worst
Review: I had seen and enjoyed all but three of Woody Allen's films, when Dreamworks released that abominable streak-breaker, "Small Time Crooks." That film's score of failed jokes gave rise to the chilling suspicion that Woody Allen had lost it, that his total control and final cut had at last become liabilities rather than advantages. Still, I had high hopes for "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" when I walked into an advance screening last night. Maybe "Small Time Crooks" had been a fluke.
It hadn't been. "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" continues the heart-stopping descent of a great filmmaker. There are a few funny moments -- a few, in a film that is nothing but jokes. What has happened to the man who could so artfully portray the tragicomic intricacies of human relationships? Forget human relationships; look at the early comedies, the ones to which fiendish PR scoundrels compared the sorry "Small Time Crooks." The writing! The wit! The exuberance! Lost. No one expects another "Manhattan": all we want is some good jokes. And we are denied them.
I'll still go see "Hollywood Ending" when it comes out. I will not give up hope. Woody's too good to abandon.
But "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" is a very bad movie.
Rating:
Summary: A Somewhat Cursed Comedy
Review: A by-the-numbers Woody Allen movie, "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" is another example of the more recent (and uneven) efforts created by the director. Essentially sitcom material, the movie`s plot has some nice ideas and funny moments, yet it`s way too light and linear to deliver an above average cinematic experience. The acting (Helen Hunt and Charlizer Theros are the Allen girls this time) is good, the dialogue sharp and witty as always (although a bit forced at times), and the photography is very competent as well. Add an interesting NY in the forties and you`ve got a decent entertainment that`s worth watching once, still it`s far from a remarkable achievement.Mildly Recommended.
Rating:
Summary: Oh, just sit back and ENJOY yourself
Review: I picked up a promotional pamphlet for Woody Allen's "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" the other day. It outlines the various steps one must take to hypnotize another, and at the bottom it says: "For entertainment only. Try at your own risk". Isn't it interesting how that statement nicely echoes the wonderful time Woody Allen gives in his new film. Don't go in expecting a masterpiece (this isnt an "Annie Hall" or "Everyone Says I Love You") but Curse is a gem compared to all of the schlock this summer has offered. Woody Allen is CW Briggs, one of the best insurance investigators in the business. A new efficiency expert Betty Ann Fitzgerald (Helen Hunt) joins the company, and she drives CW up the wall. She is also having an affair with Chris Magruder (Dan Aykroyd), head of the insurance company. One night, in a club celebrating a company birthday, a master hypnotist (David Ogden Stiers) puts them both into a spell that leaves them to do everything he wishes. Lunacy begins as he commands them to rob estate after estate, putting them both on the line. "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" is Allen's tip of the hat to such enduring 1940s classics such as "Double Indemnity" and "The Maltese Falcon". The dialogue in "Scorpion" doesnt come close to the zesty sharpness of films like "Indemnity", but the banter between Allen and Hunt is a pleasure to watch. The only critique I have of these hilarious arguments is that in their closing, Helen Hunt always seems to be clinging to that last punchline, as if she's asking Allen "did you get that?" One thing Woody Allen has always good taste in was music for his movies. Every time hypnotist Volar rings in to say the magic words (Constantinople for Allen, Madagascar for Hunt) the music kicks into full swing (pun intended). The music matches the mood and feel of the film so perfectly that its a wonder no soundtrack has been released. The performances arent outstanding, but they fit snugly into their roles. Allen, who is perfect for the role because he writes for himself, leads the pack. He is very good, and signs of him slowing down or dulling are nowhere to be seen. Hunt also does a good job, even though she seems half-asleep during some scenes. Dan Akroyd also provides abundant support as Betty Ann's lover. But it is Charlize Theron, impeccable as Laura Kensington, who brings back memories of the 40s more than anyone else in the cast. "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" is not a new Woody Allen classic, but it is without a doubt one of the best (Hollywood) comedies I've seen all summer. Allen sticks to familiar territory, but it's still so much funnier than most everything else out right now. I recommend this delightful movie without reservation.
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