Rating: 
Summary: Stop looking for another Manhattan and enjoy the movie!!!
Review: All these self-appointed Woody Allen experts who long for the brilliance of Woody's introspective era of film making are missing the point. WAKE UP! He stopped making those movies 15 years ago! What Jade Scorpion IS is FUNNY! It's wall-to-wall classic Woody Allen one-liners. This is NOT "a very bad movie" as one other critic here suggests. It's a very funny way to spend 90 minutes. This has infinitely better jokes than any of the other crap coming out of Hollywood and the jokes AREN'T based on bodily functions! In the pacekd house I saw it in, also a sneak preview, EVERYONE was laughing hard and loud throughout and buzzing when it was over. There are a couple points where the action meanders, but the one-liners that follow make you forget them. While I think Helen Hunt is a little stiff, Woody is at his joke-telling best. Noone can deliver the jokes like he can (which is why, I imagine he continues to play the leading man roles in his films instead of letting someone else butcher them, ie "Celebrity"). The secondary characters are all adequate and as usual, fit the look and feel of the film to a tee! Overall, not his best movie of the past ten years, but certainly as funny as anything he's put out in some time. Hmm...let's see, American Pie 2, Scary Movei 2, Rush Hour 2...umm...I'll take a slightly above average Woody Allen film, please!!! Relax, have some popcorn, and laugh!
Rating:
Summary: Woody Allens back again...just not as sharp
Review: There are things you can look forward to every year...tax season, winter, spring, summer, fall...a new Woody Allen film. Last year was 'Small Time Crooks', an uneven, yet a fulfilling and funny Woody Allen film that made me reminisce of his older movies like 'Take the Money and Run.' His latest one takes the nostalgia of 'Radio Days' mixes it with the mystery in 'Manhattan Murder Mystery' and gives you the constant one liners of 'Annie Hall'. There are things you can always expect from a Woody Allen film...the jazz music, the same title cards, some of the same reoccurring themes...yet each one is just as original as the other.
His newest movie released August 24th, is a subtle, smart nostalgic romantic-comedy-mystery. Set in 1940, "Curse" is about an insurance investigator (Allen) who seems to be a thief but isn't and two people (Allen and Helen Hunt) who seem to hate each other but are actually madly in love. It's also about hypnotism, which is the catalyst that brings these lovers togeher.
Allen, plays CW Briggs, a smart-aleck insurance investigator who has a nose for scams and robberies. Briggs works for Northcoast Insurance, where he's a star investigator. Hunt plays Betty Ann Fitzgerald, the efficiency expert that is out to get Briggs. The two absolutely hate each other. He compares her to Mussolini, while she calls him various insulting names. Briggs' boss, Chris Magruder (Dan Aykroyd) is having an affair with Hunt which only tangles things together even more.
At an office birthday party for co-worker George Bond (Wallce Shawn) held in a local nightclub, show-biz mesmerist Voltan (David Ogden Stiers) hypnotizes Briggs and Betty and gets them to romance each other on stage. Even worse, the villainous Voltan programs them for instant obedience to all his commands, as soon as they hear the key words "Constantinople" (Briggs' cue) and "Madagascar" (Betty's).
Voltan calls up Briggs and orders him to commit a string of jewel robberies at the mansions where Briggs himself installed the security. At night he is robbing these mansions, during the day he is investigating the robberies. Soon everyone suspects him as the robber, but this is just where the movie starts getting really funny.
My personal favorite scenes were the ones between Briggs and Laura Kensington (Charlize Theron). Theron burns up the screen as the nymphomaniac daughter of one of the robbery victims; she is a Veronica Lake look alike. The chemistry between Allen and Theron was one of the giddiest and most enjoyable twists to this movie. Theron's part is a notch above a cameo role but she stands out, which is a good thing.
Woody Allen of course plays a version of himself, which I never get tired of. Helen Hunt is mediocre to say the least, something about her in this part just didn't click with me, I would've loved to see Diane Keaton back again with Woody Allen in this role. Dan Aykroyd played a more serious role, which takes a while to get used to because its Aykroyd we're talking about here. But he pulls it off nicely. My biggest complaint is Elizabeth Burkley whose acting is as hollow as her career has been. She could've nicely stole every scene she was in as the office secretary, instead she made me cringe.
The movies plot progression takes a while to get used to, this is due to the direction of Allen, who in his old age isn't as sharp as he used to be. The script is filled with funny one-liners, but they never build up to be what they should be. Zhao Fei's cinematography is subtle yet brings alive the era, the style and the setting.
This, in the end, is a send up to the 1940's genre of films from Hitchcock to Bogart to Bob Hope. Allen and Hunt remind me of Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn. This movie is not flawless, but its fun, its interesting, it's a nice nostalgic journey and the ending is one of the best conclusions I've ever seen, without using any words Allen had me rolling in the aisle and leaving the theatre with a huge grin on my face.
Rating: 
Summary: Delightful
Review: The Jade Scorpion is a pure gem! No need to write a dissertation on Woody's movie making. I agree with another review. Just enjoy it! Woody's one-liners are irresistible, almost witty. Dan Aykroyd is even better than in "driving miss daisy", and Helen Hunt finally gets us to laugh and smile at her usual "up-tightness". That's pure Woody's genius. Not to mention the delightful choice of the soundtrack. There is a bit of a "Pink Panther" feel to this movie. Absolutely delightful, delightful, delightful. I have been looking for the soundtrack on CD for years and can't put my hand on it. If you know where I can find one, buy it and post it on ebay or advertise on USA Today (which I never read). Anyway. Just enjoy!
Rating:
Summary: Provides a lot of laughs...
Review: ~The Curse of the Jade Scorpion~ is a welcome addition to an inspiring body of work that spans over twenty years. This film is hilarious. A friend once commented to me that you either love or hate Woody Allen and through the years I've found this to be true. To be honest, I've lost a few potentially meaningful relationships through taking them to a Woody Allen movie. On the other hand, I've shared some great laughs with a few dates as well, which have turned into fond memories. This film doesn't take itself too seriously and is designed to simply entertain. And entertain it certainly does...This film is a period satire on 40's film noir and a parody on romance. Allen plays C.W. Briggs, an insurance investigator who more often than not, either through luck or default, always gets his man. A new efficiency expert joins the firm, Betty Ann Fitzgerald, (Helen Hunt) and literally despises C.W. because he finds 'smart broads' threatening - in fact they hate each other - which is a perfect recipe for some witty insults both ways. The story unfolds when the company gets together for a work function and an evil showman hypnotizes them to fall in love. Through hypnotic suggestion, the villain also programs them to commit a few jewel heists - it is from here that the plot grows and gets very funny. Helen Hunt puts in a great comedic performance and achieved a believable and hilarious chemistry with Allen. Their non-stop staccato exchange of insults keeps you paying attention to catch every word. Charlize Theron's Bacall impersonation as the sexy siren is a pleasure to watch in more ways than one. Although Dan Ackroyd did a fine job as the adulterous boss, Allen did not take advantage of his comedic talents, however, this was the only disappointment in the entire film. Whether you're a die-hard fan of Woody Allen or not, ~The Curse of the Jade Scorpion~ should provide a lot of laughs and that occasional escape we all require from time to time. And I can almost guarantee it will not spoil your first date.
Rating:
Summary: Take A Vacation In Madagascar
Review: This movie can be summed up in one word...funny. Woody Allen has written and directed many films, and he completely amazes me in that he can still come up with hysterically new concepts. THE CURSE OF THE JADE SCORPION takes place in 1940 where Woody Allen plays C. W. Briggs, an investigator for an insurance company. Classified as "more lucky than good," Allen plays his typical underdog/unsung-hero type role. His main adversary, Betty Ann Fitzgerald played by Helen Hunt, is the company's efficiency expert, not to mention the boss' mistriss. At a birthday party, these two are placed under a spell, and never released. Every once in a while the two are called upon to steal valuables while under the trance, making them the perfect theives. In a screenplay loaded with sarcasm and witty dialogue, the film is quite enjoyable. Hunt is the perfect compliment to Allen, as her timing couldn't have been better. Dan Akroyd also plays an good part as the Chris McGruder, the owner of the company. His straightforward demeanor is a nice counterpart to the snappy punchlines throughout the film. This is an entertaining film that will cause you to laugh out loud several times. A good cast coupled with an easy, humorous storyline will keep you wondering if they will ever catch the bad guy. THE CURSE OF THE JADE SCORPION is a good film. It will not disappoint.
Rating: 
Summary: Not a favorite...
Review: I'd say the funniest line in this film was between Allen and Charlize Theron: SHE "I could slap you back."
HE "This is beginning to sound like fun." But it didn't make sense that Helen Hunt would run off to Paris with Dan Ackroyd...this was supposed to be 1940 and the Germans were in Paris. Why go TO the threat?
Rating:
Summary: A GOOD ONE
Review: I never really was much of a Woody Allen fan, at least until I seen this movie. And I can't tell you if there have been any more scenes added on in the dvd version. I don't know. What I do know is this is a terrific film. It's a comedy, and a darn good one. Unlike a lot of today's comedy movies where the writers feel they must include tons of curse words, sex, and loads of yelling just to try and make the picture more appealing, this one has perfect dialologue that is both witty and inventive. This is a movie you can watch and get a good laugh, without wearing you out. It has action, but in a perfectly timed way. And I don't care if whether or not the movie grossed monkey one, It's good. It's the story of an insurance investigator (played by Allen) who, along with one of his associates (helen hunt) are hypnotized at a club as part of the evening enterainment. Only thing is, the magician has more sinister motives for their hypnotism. What are they? As usual, I'm not going to tell you. What I will say is that when certain words are said over a late night telephone call, Allen becomes a different person, and seeks to carry out the bidding of his "Master". This is by far one of the best movies I have seen in quite a while. I seen it on a premium channel today, and today I am ordered it from Amazon. I want to see this movie again, and again, and again. The one thing I did not like about this movie was the banjo playing during the "action" scenes, but since this was this was set in the 1940's, it really wouldn't feel right to have electric guitars played by AC/DC to set the mood. Besides, I don't think electric guitars were around at that time either???
Rating:
Summary: Oh, just sit back and ENJOY yourself
Review: I picked up a promotional pamphlet for Woody Allen's "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" the other day. It outlines the various steps one must take to hypnotize another, and at the bottom it says: "For entertainment only. Try at your own risk". Isn't it interesting how that statement nicely echoes the wonderful time Woody Allen gives in his new film. Don't go in expecting a masterpiece (this isnt an "Annie Hall" or "Everyone Says I Love You") but Curse is a gem compared to all of the schlock this summer has offered. Woody Allen is CW Briggs, one of the best insurance investigators in the business. A new efficiency expert Betty Ann Fitzgerald (Helen Hunt) joins the company, and she drives CW up the wall. She is also having an affair with Chris Magruder (Dan Aykroyd), head of the insurance company. One night, in a club celebrating a company birthday, a master hypnotist (David Ogden Stiers) puts them both into a spell that leaves them to do everything he wishes. Lunacy begins as he commands them to rob estate after estate, putting them both on the line. "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" is Allen's tip of the hat to such enduring 1940s classics such as "Double Indemnity" and "The Maltese Falcon". The dialogue in "Scorpion" doesnt come close to the zesty sharpness of films like "Indemnity", but the banter between Allen and Hunt is a pleasure to watch. The only critique I have of these hilarious arguments is that in their closing, Helen Hunt always seems to be clinging to that last punchline, as if she's asking Allen "did you get that?" One thing Woody Allen has always good taste in was music for his movies. Every time hypnotist Volar rings in to say the magic words (Constantinople for Allen, Madagascar for Hunt) the music kicks into full swing (pun intended). The music matches the mood and feel of the film so perfectly that its a wonder no soundtrack has been released. The performances arent outstanding, but they fit snugly into their roles. Allen, who is perfect for the role because he writes for himself, leads the pack. He is very good, and signs of him slowing down or dulling are nowhere to be seen. Hunt also does a good job, even though she seems half-asleep during some scenes. Dan Akroyd also provides abundant support as Betty Ann's lover. But it is Charlize Theron, impeccable as Laura Kensington, who brings back memories of the 40s more than anyone else in the cast. "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" is not a new Woody Allen classic, but it is without a doubt one of the best (Hollywood) comedies I've seen all summer. Allen sticks to familiar territory, but it's still so much funnier than most everything else out right now. I recommend this delightful movie without reservation.
Rating:
Summary: A Somewhat Cursed Comedy
Review: A by-the-numbers Woody Allen movie, "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion" is another example of the more recent (and uneven) efforts created by the director. Essentially sitcom material, the movie`s plot has some nice ideas and funny moments, yet it`s way too light and linear to deliver an above average cinematic experience. The acting (Helen Hunt and Charlizer Theros are the Allen girls this time) is good, the dialogue sharp and witty as always (although a bit forced at times), and the photography is very competent as well. Add an interesting NY in the forties and you`ve got a decent entertainment that`s worth watching once, still it`s far from a remarkable achievement. Mildly Recommended.
Rating:
Summary: Not a favorite...
Review: I'd say the funniest line in this film was between Allen and Charlize Theron: SHE "I could slap you back."
HE "This is beginning to sound like fun." But it didn't make sense that Helen Hunt would run off to Paris with Dan Ackroyd...this was supposed to be 1940 and the Germans were in Paris. Why go TO the threat?
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