Dogma

Rating:
Summary: Dogfeces
Review: Absolute garbage. The biggest anti-Catholic film I've had the displeasure to experience since the horrid "Chocolat". Writer Kevin Smith says to take this movie as a joke, but the role of George Carlin as a Catholic clergyman is the equivalent to David Duke playing Martin Luther King.

Do not mistake this film for friendly poking at Catholicism as is done by Monty Python's "The Meaning Of Life", or other Kevin Smith films. This is pure and hateful bias, hidden behind a thin veil of toilet humor. Jay and Silent Bob's other movies are hilarious, but this one threw a wrench in the gears of my confidence in them to produce anything meaningful and humorous. Their latest film "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" was also a dud, and an embarassing overstretch to cash in on their characters' crudeness with a nonexistent plot and hot women who can't act.

The only 'dogma' in this movie is the writer's unrelenting plight against the personal beliefs of millions of others. Once a diehard fan of Jay and Silent Bob, I would now be completely unsurprised to see them star in Battlefield Earth 2.

Rating:
Summary: The most solid and thought out KS movie I've seen!
Review: Well, this being the fourth in the Jersey series, but not the fourth KS movie I had seen. It is kind of long in my opinion and I think there are boring times and I love to hate Affleck and Damon as Bartleby and Loki, respectively, but that's another point. I didn't take it as seriously as I would have had some other people if there had not been an disclaimer. Anyways, not much to say about this edition except it has 2 discs, and both discs featire artwork from the movie. Disc 1 is about Mooby Egg-A-Moofin and Disc 2 is about Hosties. Final Verdict: It's very thought-provoking and really talks about sensitive material, so you may want to rent, then buy if u like it, but I would go ahead and buy it.

Rating:
Summary: one of the strangest vanity films ever made
Review: What an achievement, for Mr. Smith to recruit a dozen or so top celebrities to recite bits and pieces of his personal religious beliefs to a captive audience. Truly unbelievable. My guess is that most religious and non-religious viewers will find something to their distaste in this film (the appearance of the "fecal Golgothan" was particularly unpleasant to sit through). In addition to the unconvincing and gruesome special effects (Ben Affleck's head gets blown off!), Mr. Smith's eclectic philosophy is not terribly original, taking bits of Catholic mythology and peppering them with obscure Fundamentalist rants (i.e., the Virgin Mary has other children by Joseph, the "morning star" of Isaiah is a reference to Satan). Meanwhile, the bloodier side of Christianity is laid bare as we hear that Damon and Affleck's characters have been on earth "since the time of the plagues", and watch these two angels "smite" a boardroom full of entertainment execs who operate a company named after the "golden calf".

Go out and watch "Clerks" and forget about this nonsense from an amateur theologian. Smith is a better authority on "snowballing" than on transubstantiation. Stick with what you know....

Rating:
Summary: Irreverent Grace
Review: No one can be surprised at the complaints folks have about the movie, given that it touches on sensitive subjects and that Kevin Smith is not known for his subtlety. But I would ask everyone who dislikes this movie if they can name another that unquestioningly acknowledges the benevolence of God or the importance of spiritual faith. This film doesn't fret about God's existence, or emphasize Jesus' human fallibility like other, more serious-themed works that have offended folks in the same fashion. Furthermore, I know of no cinematic portrayal of God that shows His love for humanity and the universe better than Dogma does (and I can think of maybe one better way that the concept of Hell has been expressed). Sure, the film is over the top, and intented to be that way, but that should be no surprise coming from Kevin Smith. Ultimately, the questions and beliefs that the characters express are important ones, and the answers put forth are undeniably good ones.

Rating:
Summary: Just not enough fun
Review: In general, I like Kevin Smith's films. I'm not going to praise them as brilliance, as some ardent fans are wont to do, nor dismiss them as total garbage, as Smith's critics often do to compensate for his overratedness. Smith's films, overall, are generally fun, occasionally thought provoking, never quite as deep as they think they are, and playfully verbose.

Smith himself readily admits that dialogue is his strong suit, and visuals are his weak suit. That's all fine in movies like Clerks, Mallrats, and Chasing Amy, but the broad, comic-book canvas of Dogma called for more, much more, and Smith failed to deliver. Just a smidgen more influence from a talented director of photography would have made a world of difference, even if it were only as much as we saw in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back--in which camera direction that would be merely ordinary in any other movie seemed amazingly energetic, simply because we knew we were watching a Smith film.

I looked forward to this film, having read one of the widely circulated advance versions of the script (forced upon me by an enthusiastic friend, despite my protestations of having the film spoiled). Perhaps that is why the experience of watching Dogma brought so few surprises, and seemed ... well, boring.

A second viewing allowed me to get past my initial disappointment, but also gave me a chance to pick out exactly why the film seems so dull: Nothing happens in it. Seriously.

Every scene is just talking. Fine in a normal Smith film, but this story seems to demand action which never shows up. Even the talking would be forgivable if we ever heard anything new, but basically, every step of Smith's journey follows the same structure:

1. Bethany/Jay/Silent Bob meet a new character (Salma Hayek, Chris Rock, etc.)
2. B/J/SB explain the premise of the film to that character
3. That character (somehow related to God) expounds on how they got screwed in a supposedly daring but actually sort of ordinary way. (A feminist complaint that the Bible is gender-biased? Stop the presses! Hayek's dull scene is a perfect example of how the film fails to be shocking, insightful, or funny, all at once.)

This rhythm is slightly altered in scenes where Alan Rickman explains the premise to the protagonists for the first time (the only time it's interesting) and in others where Chris Rock recounts the premise for no reason at all, in case the audience has forgotton.

Interspersed with all this, we occasionally get Angels Damon and Affleck, who provide the only real driving action in the film. Even then, they are reduced to spending half the movie talking about what they want to do, and finally getting one scene to kill people 2/3rds of the way through the picture. (Incidentally: The one woman in the boardroom happens to be a good person? What a P.C. cop-out. Why not kill them all?). Late in the game, they suddenly switch roles (Affleck becomes the killer, Damon the nice guy) for no perceptible reason.

The finale, which ought to be a showstopper (the Universe is hanging in the balance, after all) feels smaller than it should, and the whole film ends up being a poorly-paced noble effort. A good idea and a nice try, but I don't have the urge to watch it again like some of Smith's other efforts. Say what you want about Smith's lowbrow work like J&SBSB, but it accomplishes what it intends to. Dogma tries to wrap serious examinations of religious faith in the easy-to-swallow trappings of a big comic-book fantasy action picture. But the examinations of faith get redundant quickly, and the fun of the action never arrives. In spite of its lofty goals (some might say pretensions), Dogma fails. As such, it remains the only Askewniverse film left out of my DVD library.

Rating:
Summary: Dogmatic Belief Skewered
Review: This movie is one of the funniest of all time. Added to that, it is also one of the most philisophical and thought-provoking. The movie starts with the Catholisism WOW! Campaign, in which George Carlin, a cardinal trying to advertise Catholisism, changes the crucifix to a less morbid "Buddy Christ" (giving the thumbs up to the people) However, the movie revolves around another promise made by the Cardinal; whoever goes under the arches of the church would be forgiven of all of their sins.

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck play two fallen angels that God has decreed would never re-enter heaven. They plan to go through the arch and then die sinless, going to heaven. However, this would prove God fallible, therefore destroying existence as we know it.
God chooses Bethany (Linda Fiorentino) to stop them: Alan Rickman appears as his? voice to guide her. The irony: Beth is a lapsed Catholic working in an abortion clinic. Bethany accepts, however, and starts on her way, chased and hindered at every turn by Jason Lee (the Demon Azariel) and his trio of hellish hockey players. However, Bethany has aid, in the name of three prophets: Jay, Silent Bob, and the black 13th prophet, Chris Rock. Salma Hayek as a sexy Serendipity, and Alanis Morissette as a forgiving and nature-oriented God round out the excellent cast.
The movie exposes much of the blind faith, right-and-wrong beliefs, and the fact that so many righteous people are terrible humans. It explains how each religion has twisted the truth to fit its own dogma (such as the fact that Jesus was black). While the exessive F-word and gore are turn-offs to the movie, the overall comedic value and excellent acting, not to mention the philosophy, far more than redeems it: making it in my eyes at least one of the best movies of all time.

Rating:
Summary: Dogma
Review: This movie, directed by Kevin Smith is one of his funniest and cleanest cut films. If you liked the witty and racious comedy of Mallrats, Clerks or Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back(I'm leaving out Chasing Amy since it is a more sophisticated movie)you'll love Dogma. Although I personally believe that this movie has wit and humor it is not for everyone. This movie pokes at religion and the everyday understanding of God and the religion of Christianity. Overall the movie is very well done and has a flavor that mixes well with the average viewer. The R rating is for extremely strong sexual references, strong launguage and crude humor. I highly recromend it.

Rating:
Summary: Sad what passes for farce these days ...
Review: (Note: I'm not Catholic, but I'm very familiar with the religion)

"It's a great satire as well as a philosophical/theological statement (the thinking man's movie)." "As a lapsed Catholic, I appreciate the film's serious discussion of religious issues."

Thinking man's movie?! Don't make me laugh. No, wait, please do, cause this movie sure didn't.

If anything lambasted in this movie is remotely close to what Catholics think their religion is about, no wonder they're lapsed. But it isn't - and that's where all pretension to satire or farce disappears.

See, to satirize something, you must understand it's foibles, present them, and then poke fun at its problems. Otherwise you're trashing something that doesn't even exist except in the minds of your clueless audience, which, sadly, apparently is a gamble that paid off, judging from the praise here - perhaps a self-satire about public education?

Is Catholicism really presented in this movie at all? Perhaps in a couple of instances - the contradiction between the Pope's ex cathedra special offer and what we expect divine justice to deny may be one. But the rest bears scant relation to the religion the movie supposedly spoofs. Monty Python would be a better bet by far. Perhaps this is the director's private joke - which is that the people who think they're enjoying watching Catholicism skewered come off looking like fools themselves. And pretentious ones, at that ("Thinking man's movie").

Now let's get this straight. I was looking forward to an irreverent, gut-aching, knee-slapping, if somewhat misguided, Pythonesque ride, despite my respect for the religion. But the laughs are unbelievably lame, the pacing is tedious. The main character looks like she can't wait to finish this movie and get out of Dodge - either that or she can't act to save her life. You don't care a whit what happens to her. She is dead as a doornail throughout. Even Chris Rock as a black apostle cannot bring out the comedy in this movie - isn't he supposed to be some kind of comedian? He is as useless in this movie as Orlando Jones in "Evolution"?

Matt Damon has his moments, an impressive scene where he spouts some puerile pseudo-Catholic conundrums, but that's about it. That guy from Die Hard has some funny British-type moments as well.

Some find this movie insulting, but I'm not sure who it insults, except, of course, its theologically clueless viewers.

Brilliant? Farce? ...

Rating:
Summary: 5 stars for movie, 1 star becuase it crashes my DVD player
Review: Does anybody else have problems with this special edition crashing the DVD player?

Rating:
Summary: angels are inequipt
Review: i wrote this a long time ago but...wouldnt let me post so now you can see it.

two renagade angels were banished two wisconsin now they found a way back to heaven with one side effect... it will unmake everything. the characters(bethany, jay, silent bob, azrael, loki, bartelby, rufeus, serindipity, and the triplets. lets not forget the golgothan)all have a quest either to help detroy man kind or save it. i was very happy when i saw this movie. i reccomend you buy it unless... your very religios.