Rating: 
Summary: "Not Uplifting" ~ So What's Your Point?
Review: Another reviewer has quoted an unnamed reviewer (I assume of this movie) as asking "What story did it tell me? What aspect of our world did it illuminate? What did it show about, say, evil that I didn't already know before?"Gosh, I wonder what percentage of all the world's movies would meet those criteria? Let me suggest my own questions: Did I enjoy it? (Yes!) Was it well-done? (Marvelously!) Was the ending satisfying? (Certainly as satisfying as any other tragedy.) I've seen ratings of this movie that stressed "Strong sexual content." I assume they were referring to the full male and female nudity. Interestingly, I don't recall any sexual acts -- maybe they were just irrelevant among the multitude of overwhelming visual delights. Try to see this on a big screen (home theater) as its sweep is almost comparable to "Prospero's Books" -- although much less dense in detail. While Prospero leaves you gasping from sensory overload, "The Cook..." will widen your eyes to take in the beauty of individual scenes.
Rating: 
Summary: The Adolescent the Adolescent His Adolescent Her Adolescent
Review: It's interesting to note that if a dozen monkeys typed randomly on a dozen typewriters for a few weeks, you could put it all together as a screenplay that reviewers would give four stars to - and then each of those reviewers would say it means something entirely different. This movie is the peak of the "urine in a glass is art" movement. All you have to do as a filmmaker is to hire good actors, an excellent costume designer, an innovative cinematographer (even if he only has one innovative idea), and a musical score composer who is instantly identifiable because any 10 seconds of his score is identical to any other 10 seconds, and then people will think - "there must be some profound idea here". It just has to look "artsy". Well, I'm sorry, but as someone who has seen a majority of the more well known "art films" (and some of which are excellent), I haven't the slightest doubt that there is nothing going on here, except an adolescent being allowed to make films. The small skeleton of a plot is stolen from "Born Yesterday (1950)", except that here the gangster's wife is not uplifted by her association with her lover - in fact, there is no evidence that any of the characters, or the filmmaker himself for that matter, has a clue what "uplifted" means. A reviewer elsewhere put it very well: "Was it some sort of social commentary or social criticism? If it was, it was pretty shallow. It may well have been chock full of cinematic and literary allusions, and had erudite style and sophistication oozing out its pores - but to what end? What story did it tell me? What aspect of our world did it illuminate? What did it show about, say, evil that I didn't already know before?"
Rating:
Summary: Jet Black Humor that Sometimes Defies Belief.
Review: Let face it, to thoroughly enjoy this film, you have to be a little sick, I'm not trying to offend, I thoroughly enjoyed it. (anyone who is a fan won't be the kind of person who offends easily) It is a Visual Feast that has to be seen to be believed, theres has never been a film like it, and there probably won't be again. It is just too hard for most people to stomach, (understandably) which is a shame because for all the ugliness, there is also alot of beauty, tremendous performances abound, and a truly one-of-a-kind cinema experience. It does lose some of it's power off the big screen, but it will still knock your socks off. If your an open minded film fan who hasn't even heard of this film before, you people are the lucky ones. Don't read into it, just see it... Now, before the feast is revealed.
Rating:
Summary: disgusting and sickening
Review: Hey, I'm not some rube. I've watched my share of art films, and Dumb and Dumber is not on my fave movie list. I'm sorry but this is the most sickening, disgusting, and repulsive movie ever made. I curse the precious time in my life that I wasted on this putrid trash.
Rating: 
Summary: Deliciously grotesque
Review: If you want a film that will churn your stomach, make your eyes water and have you flinching in a way you never thought possible then this film is DEFINATELY for you. I didn't think I would like it at all, but it is one of the best offbeat films I have ever watched. Helen Mirren is superb as the down trodden wife of a vicious gangster played to perfection by Michael Gambon. Set in a restaurant we are treated to a visual feast of decadence galore as each night Gambon and his cohorts meet in the same restaurant to enjoy the culinary delights of Richard Bohringer who plays the restaurant's cook. It's not long before Helen Mirren finds comfort in the arms of a fellow diner, and their first encounter is in the ladies toilet where they succumb to their passion. It's not long before they enjoying more than just the food in the restaurant each night, and the Cook and his staff discreetly ignore their illicit meetings. However the deception cannot last and Gambon finds out that his wife is being unfaithful and extracts a horrific revenge on Helen's lover. But Helen has found in herself a strength she never knew she had and with the aid of the Cook, she organizes a counter revenge that is shockingly outrageous but totally appropriate. Peter Greenaway has created a masterpiece in "The Cook, the Thief, his Wife and her Lover," it is visually stunning, utterly grotesque, totally disgusting in parts and so outrageous it is no wonder that people walked out of the cinema before the film had ended. However, if you want something that shocks the socks off you then get buy or rent this film. It's deliciously grotesque and it is a shame this film is not yet available on DVD.
Rating:
Summary: Artsy-Fartsy John Waters
Review: Man-O-man, what a movie - if you've got a warped sense of humor and a cast iron stomach. I do, and I loved it! A non-stop surreal feast of vulgarity, vicious cruelty and foraging feral dogs, starkly contrasted with rich, sensual eroticism. Helen Mirren gave me righteous wood, and the cast of criminals gave me raw, cruel belly laughs. The shock factor of much of what goes on in this film is in the vein of the early John Waters epics, yet this film is has real artistic depth, and genuine eroticism. I can take the rough stuff, so this is a keeper for this rauchy film buff. Not always pleasant, this movie is utterly unique and powerful. Don't bring a date.
Rating:
Summary: Beautiful
Review: Peter Greenaway's The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen. The great tragedy about cinema today is that the beauty of sex is demonized while glamorous violence is embraced. You can watch James Bond shoot down waves of men and fondle young women and rent it at any ..video.. outlet, yet this film, where sex and nudity are beautiful, is denied the wide spreed release it rightfuly deserves. They had the audacity to release a censored version (now that is offensive). As of this writing the film is currently unavailable. Yet now comes news that the film will be released in a new remastered, uncut, widescreen version by Anchor Bay Entertainment. Great!
Rating:
Summary: Color, COLOR, C-O-L-O-R-!
Review: These reviews remind me of the divided attitudes about Bill Gates and his Microsoft monopoly. If your perspective is broad enough and deep enough, then you "get it". Otherwise, you can't understand what all the fuss is about. Obviously, I agree with the other reviewers who gave this movie five stars. It would not be possible to compare TCTTHWAHL with any other movie, in terms of the lasting effect it had on my understanding of what a motion picture can truly be. In my opinion, everyone else (including those who walked out on a screening) just didn't "get it". The only observation I would add is about the significance of Greenaway's use of COLOR in the sets and the costumes. It represents such an incredibly unique innovation! And yet I can't describe it, for fear of ruining your joy at discovering it for yourself. I didn't make the connection in my own mind, until I was watching it for the third time. At that point, I was simply STUPEFIED, and had to watch it from the beginning yet again! Until then, I had only thought how wonderful it was that the colors were so vibrant. For those who've been fortunate enough to pick up on this incredible twist, it's like "inside knowledge". For everyone else, it just may be enough to overcome other features which might give them pause.
Rating:
Summary: The cook,the thief,his wife and her lover
Review: I have never seen a movie that effected me more than this movie. It was both wonderful and horrifying at the same time. The minute the movie ended, I wanted to buy a movie theatre just so I could watch it over again and again, but since I couldn't, I did the next best thing by purchasing the wide screen version of it on video. I can't wait to get it on DVD, which I hope will be soon. I highly recommend this movie to anyone, but be prepared for one of the most unforgettable experiences, good and bad, you'll probably have in your life.
Rating:
Summary: Absolutely awful yet enthralling
Review: Released as an "artistic" foreign film, this movie is disgustingly vile, unbelieveably violent and something that will not leave your memory soon. Yes there were set design awards...blah blah blah...at its core it appears to me to be the work of a creative and demented mind. I saw it 10 years ago and it is still one of the most horrific movies I have ever seen. Still, I cant not recommend it as it does have appeal to a widespread audience for some reason. View at your own risk is my suggestion.
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