Gigli

Rating:
Summary: Is it Thanksgiving already? I smell a turkey!
Review: How bad is this? Think "Glitter," "Ishtar," "Heaven's Gate," "Showgirls," and "Waterworld" all rolled into one. This film is an incomprehensible mess, a lugubrious blend of bad acting, bad dialogue, and just plain bad characters. The plot (such as it is) concerns a hitman (Affleck, whose laughable Brooklyn accent is even worse when one considers his character is from L.A.) who falls for a lesbian yoga instructor (Lopez, just as bad). Somehow, Al Pacino makes an appearance (your official nadir, Al), and Christopher Walken shows up for a short while (his small role is the only thing worth watching in this mess). The dialogue is just awful, especially when the characters attempt to engage in sexual double-entendres (a sample, while a turkey--how ironic!--is being prepared: JLo: "Gobble, gobble.") There's a plethora of foul language (I stopped counting the "F" word at around twenty-five, and the film was still relatively young), lots of stilted sexual content (the sex scenes involving the pair have zero chemistry and are uncomfortably voyeuristic); there's also a terrible segment in which JLo describes lesbian sex while doing yoga. I know Martin Brest is a capable--if not great--director (he helmed "Scent of a Woman."), but the way he tracks over JLo's body as she relates her experiences makes me think he came to this project straight from adult films. Despite all the sexual content, the film is desperately unerotic, probably due to the fact that we A: do not care about these characters, and B: they have absolutely no redeeming features. That's pretty much all you need to know, as further detail would simply be beating a dead horse. If you must see it, I have a couple of suggestions: Rather than waste seven to ten dollars on this turkey at the theatre (I was lucky enough to be offered a free pass if I would review it for another website), I suggest waiting for home video--but don't rent it immediately! Wait until it's in the ninety-nine cent section. Or better yet, wait for it to appear on cable. The less you spend to see this mess, the better!

Rating:
Summary: gobble gobble
Review: Unlike other reviewers who apparently haven't ever met a Jennifer Lopez film they haven't liked, I profess to more than a little discomfort sitting through this monstrosity. Let's just say it would probably be more entertaining and enjoyable to sit through a double feature of the Care Bears Movie and the Teddy Ruxpin Movie (1999) than this heap. Why? Acting, plot, chemistry.. shout out of anyone spots these, they do a great job hiding. The only nominal performances go to Walken and Pacino, aptly chagrined at the display of their talents like guys who mistakenly wear tuxedos to a monster truck rally. I've seen this film compared to 'Glitter' and 'Crossroads' and that's pretty accurate; it's an awkward derivative ego piece ironically showcasing all the wrong aspects of its purported stars. Joanie and Chachi had more chemistry, and probably will have had longer staying power. Here's hoping Hollywood's next reigning couple shows up sooner rather than later.

Rating:
Summary: Stay Away!
Review: Why do I get the feeling that Shade 123 is a flack for Sony Pictures? You don't see too many people who put exclamation points in their reviews--when you see them in newspaper blurbs, they've usually been added there by the publicity department even though they weren't present in the original review. It's done to make it sound like the reviewer thinks that this is THE greatest film ever put on God's green earth. It's also a ploy generally reserved for stinkers to stave off the unmistakable scent of flop sweat. And ladies and gentlemen, flop sweat is coming off of this thing like river torrents. It's a King Kong-sized load. This is yet another attempt to blend cool, hip-gangster-type indie flicks with more mainstream film and you know how often that works (NEVER).
One reason it's inherently flawed is the presence of Jen and Ben. Look, it's difficult enough to suspend belief in half the product Hollywood puts out due to the fact that you've seen the same people a dozen times previous. But when the movie in question features an off-screen couple that's on the verge of having a 24-news channel devoted exclusively to their every move, it's even worse. Not once, ever, during this film was I ever able to connect with the characters. I was never able to think I was watching anything except two huge red-carpet/tabloid stars. (to be fair, the film was made before they became a couple offscreen)
I wish I could say they do the best with what they're given, but the plot is so DOA, cobbled as it is from a half-dozen cop comedies, that nobody can do anything with it. This is one of those films where you're just waiting for it to prove itself to you, to give you a reason for being. And you'll wait and wait and wait and wait...
Let's sum it up: too talky, too many ridiculous plot contrivances, too many people acting []to support the ridiculous plot contrivances, ("Idiot Plot" Roger Ebert) there's no suspense, no action, no humor and no romance. It's dull, dull, dull. This is Martin Brest's second worst movie, right after Meet Joe Black. Really really bad. PS for the guys: Rent the DVD to see Lopez' do some downright carnal yoga moves.

Rating:
Summary: Jealous-Hearted Reviews for a Damn Good Movie
Review: I think the people that don't like this movie are just mad because they didn't like the actors in the first place. Now I wouldn't call this movie GREAT or STUPENDOUS but it was good. I would buy it and watch it many tymes just for the fact that it kept me laughing and I love both actors. But these reviews that basically talk about "Bennifer" and how much they hate them...probably didn't like the movie because they couldn't see past the people playing them. Those people failed to see the real movie. They only got mad because Jenn's azz was bigger then theirs and Ben actually did a good job, like in the rest of his movies. Plus...the whole Bennifer thing is so lame, they are two different people. For the people that didn't like this movie, get a freakin life. Watch the movie for the movie...the actors are a part of it. But don't judge the actors because of their lives OFF screen.

Rating:
Summary: No Really, Believe The Hype
Review: Again, Pogo's stupidity is fluent. This movie blows, and I do mean blows. JLo pisses me off, she has a fat ass, she is loud, and she is a bitchy prissy girl. Another MTV relationship story that finally ended after a long hay-day. There will never be a Gigli 2 because it had the problem of never making money, even TRL fans knew this was a sad piece of film, even for most of Hollywood's garbage. I really think people are sometimes kidding when they give good reviews like some you'll see.

Rating:
Summary: better than hustle and heat
Review: yes this movie was alot more better than hustle and heat. since vivica a fox's acting isn't as good as her prior movies.

Rating:
Summary: it ain't the worst
Review: what the critics were saying claiming that this movie was the worst of 2003 is false. this movie really was good. since this movie has superb acting from ben affleck and the whole movie is funny and clever.

Rating:
Summary: whoa
Review: oh snap this movie is one of the best i have ever seen. since the acting from this movie is outstanding.

Rating:
Summary: It was fun
Review: I had alot of fun when I was watching this movie. Which made me laugh from beginning to end. So if your fans of Ben Affleck go get this movie.

Rating:
Summary: hot movie
Review: gigli was a pretty funny movie that has ben affleck and jennifer lopez. i can see that this movie had alot of potential. and is the best romantic comedy of 2003.