Gigli

Rating:
Summary: A big fat turkey
Review: It would be difficult to find a movie more loathsomely, hilariously bad than "Gigli." Despite the tabloid buzz about its two photogenic yet stiff stars, interest in Gigli was generally restricted to the repulsed excitement of watching a train zooming toward a stalled car.

Gigli (Ben Affleck) is a minor-league thug without much in the way of brains or talent. He's ordered to kidnap and imprison the mentally-challenged brother of a federal prosecutor, and he does so. After he's stashed Brian (Justin Bartha), in his apartment, Gigli gets a shock: His boss has sent Ricki, a hitwoman (Jennifer Lopez) to keep an eye on him.

Lacking a brain, Gigli immediately begins pursuing Ricky, only to be semi-rebuffed by the announcement that she's a lesbian. Of course, he doesn't give up, and eventually despite her disgust for the male anatomy, Ricki starts to reciprocate his attraction. But things go haywire again when Gigli's boss decides to play nasty.

Given the number of plot holes, "Gigli" should not be compared to Swiss cheese -- it should be compared with a fishing net in the advanced stages of decay. Through most of the film, it seems like the director just started direction, then walked off the set and said, "Seeya! I'm sure you know what to do next."

"Gigli" doesn't know whether it wants to be a crime movie, a drama, a romance, or a black comedy. So it tries to be everything, and accomplishes nothing. Needless gore, stupid plot twists (Gigli sawing off a corpse's thumb with a plastic utensil?), and completely unfunny material (the lesbian lover slashing her wrists) deprive this of all humor. But it might have struggled its way to mediocrity, if it weren't for the ghastly dialogue. (And that horrific shot of Mrs. Gigli's butt)

I can only conclude that whoever wrote this movie was either on crack, or possesses a level of ineptitude on par with the title character's. "Gigli" contains some of the worst dialogue ever, including the insane "bull and cow" discussion, Lopez's bizarre "turkey time, gobble gobble" seduction, and the hideously embarrassing and frighteningly written argument about the pros and cons of male and female genitalia. It'll make you laugh or cry, or both.

Affleck clearly has no idea what he's doing, and so wings it with an over-the-top, drawling imitation of Tony Soprano. Yet somehow he doesn't go over-the-top enough to make fun of himself (now THAT would be funny). Jennifer Lopez, with her perfect makeup, provocative yoga and baby voice, can't make her character even halfway convincing. You can't believe she's a thug, a lesbian, or that she could gouge someone's eyes out. Bartha might be good if he weren't retreading "Rain Man." Cameos by Christopher Walken and Al Pacino can't save the story, although they are briefly entertaining to watch, being the only actors of worth that we get to see.

There are one or two moments of actual humor in "Gigli," such as the moment where the all-but-illiterate Gigli reads the tabasco sauce bottle. But a few flickering moments can't even begin to save the horrendous turkey that is "Gigli." Gobble gobble.

Rating:
Summary: Everybody's a f***in' critic these days...
Review: It really... is a good movie. Don't listen to all the bad the bad critics!! They are wrong! Maybee, it's not her best movie, but it is definetely worth praises. It really is a watchable, funny, exciting, movie! It is DEFINETELY not as bad as "glitter" or "crossroads" like many people say. It is a good movie to pass the time. It is original, and hilarious. Even though i did not like Ben in the movie, J.Lo's acting was superb! All the bad publicity towards "gigli" is because of an earlier screening which was much more improved fopr the theater release. So if that is Your excuse for not seeing the movie, then your missing out. But, go see "Gigli" because you'll laugh and have a great time. I highly recomend it!!!!!!!!!!!

Rating:
Summary: Luminosity
Review: "Gigli" will go down as 2003's film that everyone hates to love or one that everyone enjoys hating. Is it a muddle? Yes. Are there script holes large enough to drive a 1974 Chevy Impala Convertible through? Yes. Are there whole scenes that can and should have been cut? Yes. Will Gay Women fundamentally object to some of the plot and motivation points? Yes. And will they be correct? Yes.
But with all that said and agreed upon, "Gigli" is not a total failure due to the charm of it's leads; though Affleck's Guys and Dolls portrayal of a hood is definitely one he will never live down.
But Lopez saves the day with her innate humanity and charisma. Say what you like about her, Jennifer Lopez is luminous on screen in the same way that Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz are: they all glow from within with an inextinguishable fire that lights up the screen.
Al Pacino and Christopher Walken make cameo appearances that shoot through and, like gigantic thunderbolts, demolish all in their paths. But in what movie are they acting?
The music is particularly irritating, imposing itself when it should be quietly underlining a scene.
Yes, there is a lot wrong with "Gigli" but it is still a success on a modest scale. So, do not be afraid there is some truth and a lot of humanity to be found here. It's just too bad you have to dig so deep to find it.

Rating:
Summary: Much better than I expected.
Review: Larry Gigli (Ben Affleck) is hired to kidnap a young man. He has no problem doing this (unlikely in most movies). Then Ricki (the best performance ever by Jennifer Lopez) shows up to keep an eye on him. Then a cop (Christopher Walken) arrives to ask questions he is sure Gigli can answer. Affleck and Lopez are great. I even liked all the minor characters (those who appear in one scene in order to explain more about the leads). There are few plot holes that bother viewers...but they are smaller than one might think. This movie is fun, at times dark, and more intelligent than most of the stuff out there. (R: Language, brief violence, sex talk.)

Rating:
Summary: ZERO STARS!! ..... Please pass the EX-Lax!!
Review: Although this movie I give ZERO stars, I give it one because it is so stupid it makes you laugh at least. As sick as I am of "Ben & Jen", I had to see this puke-o-rama of a movie to see what was so special about these two over-exposed 'plastic' actors, and guess what i found.....NOTHIN! This movie is so bad, I saw people walking out of the theater...or calls of "this is [baloney]!!" behind me.. I gave the movie the benefit of the doubt, cuz I don't always agree with critics, I have to see things for myself.. but they were right.. this crappy movie was horse[droppings]!!. Enough said.

Rating:
Summary: No Chemistry
Review: What was Jennifer Lopez thinking of. It was absolutely bad enough that she is engaged to Ben Affleck, but unfortunately it seems just like a publicity stunt to see how much they are in love. Even the movie seemed as if it was a bigger joke, and it is a big joke. I really didn't like Gigli. There was absolutely no chemistry the couple had in the film.The film was really just awful, and I'm glad I didn't pay anything to see it. To be honest with you, I think it is just a shame that Jennifer Lopez oxerexposed herself too much within her movie career. She had better try for a better movie role next time. I think they should've given the role to Halle Berry and her husband, Eric Benet instead. Don't bother seeing this flick. You'll really regret spending the ten spot.

Rating:
Summary: One of the most original crime thrillers in years
Review: What can I say, this has to be the best crime thriller I have ever seen since Pulp Fiction or Resevoir Dogs. I am a huge fan of Quentin T and I have to say that this film might even surpass his films. When I saw the trailer,I knew instantly that this would be one of those rare movies that work as both an action film and a great thinking person's thriller. This movie takes a highly original concept, and turns it into a great film. It is rare nowadays to see a summer movie that does not follow the same by-the-numbers formula of a typical no brains action movie. This film features great cinematography and mize-en-sene from director Martin Brest who will surely get an oscar nomination. Jennifer Lopez turns in a great perfomance as usual. She has to be the hottest woman ever to set foot on planet earth. She is what really ties this film together with her unreal beauty. Ben Affleck gives a very poetic performance.

This has to be one of the best films I have seen in a long time and it will surely become an instant crime classic. It will probably spawn many imitations, but I am certain none of them will be as magnificant as this film.

Rating:
Summary: False Advertising!
Review: This film was erroneously billed as what looked like a light romantic comedy -- instead, thanks to a script which seemed to be penned by a hormone engorged, Cosmo-reading, 13-year-old, it is a sexual cliche-ridden, slow moving, improbable, ghost of what it should have been. Beginning with the silly New York tough guy accent (for his character Larry Gigli, who was supposedly a native Los Angeleno), Ben Affleck's completely wasted here, with his repetoire of facial expressions limited to two -- dumb awe and clenched-jawed bravado. Jennifer's limited to one -- her warm winning smile -- even in the face of a friend's attempted suicide. The overuse of the f--- word grates; even Lanie Kazan, the fabulous character actress with chops, as Gigli's mother, couldn't overcome the inane script. If you want to see the movie as eye candy -- both Ben and Jen are gorgeous, and at the top of their appeal -- fine. Just don't expect anything more. This is the only movie I walked out on this year.

Rating:
Summary: Should Never Have Been Greenlighted, But Did
Review: Who really cares about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez's Hollywood marriage, and how well they are working together on screen or if it works. Of course they're no Paul Newman and Joan Woodward. Who really cares how long their marriage last, and what will be said in US or People magazine For or I care Jennifer Lopez can have 9 divorces with in the next five years, so what.

On with the movie, what is this movie supose to be about, any way. Is it a movie about two person, who falls in love, and how it came about, a mob movie, a romantic comendy along the lines like Sleepless In Seattle, Pretty Woman and What A Woman Wants or a Quentin Tarantino type wanabe. The answer is all the above, in my view, which it 100% does not work. If it wants to be a mob movie, it should have been a drama like the docudramas Donnie Brasco and Gotti. Who has ever heard of a female mob enforcer, which Jennifer Lopez is in the movie. In the history of the Mafia, there has never been one in Capone's, Gotti's or any other. If it was ment to be a romantic comendy it should have left the mob story line out, and only have it as Ben Affleck's character's background. If ie was surpose to be a Tarantino type movie, where is Tarantino, he's not the director or writer of the movie. The story of kidnapping the mentally retarded brother of a federal prosecutor, can work, if the movie made as a drama or if Tarantino is the writer and director, all else it fails big time. One to note, it is rare to see a mob movie that is also a comedy, and Analyze This and Analyze That is just that and it works with no problem, but not Gigli at all.

Rating:
Summary: don't ever see it!
Review: This movie was not good at all. I don't think that Jen and Ben should ever do a movie together.They CAN'T act together. And Ben Affleck is overrated. He doesn't act as good as people think he does and Jen is okay! But this movie was stupid and boring! I suggest u don't waste ur money and time on it!