Rating: Summary: Actually painful to watch Review: Don't get me wrong. I love Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and have been watching it for about 9 years. But this is not only the worst movie ever mocked on this show, it is actually painful to watch, even with commentary. It will blow your mind that a movie this bad could ever be made. Take one horrific plot, throw in some of the worst acting ever seen in a feature film (this makes Keanu Reeves look good), and then make the movie incredibly boring. Oh, and then to top it all off, have it make no sense at all. That is pretty much the formula followed here. I have given this movie 4 stars only because you can show this to your friends when they come over if they are interested in seeing the worst movie of all time. The DVD actually allows you to watch Manos without commentary if you really want to inflict suffering on yourself or others. The short, although not the best one ever, is definitely the highlight here. It is a terrible feature about motivating your employees set at a car dealership. "You! Put a towel over your head. You! Swat at invisible elves!" I could go on for hours about how bad Manos is, but I'll spare you. Watch it for yourself. You'll laugh. You'll cry. Mainly cry though.
Rating: Summary: Hands...Hands of Fate Review: Y'know, I've met the guy who wrote and directed this thing. I've met the guy who plays the race-car/make-out guy. I've been to the little shack that they filmed it at. This isn't because I've traveled cross-country, but because I live in El Paso, Texas, where it was filmed. Lemme just say this:Manos: The Hands of Fate, did NOTHING to help bolster the El Paso movie scene, but it's perhaps one of the most cherished MST3K's in my possesion. I saw it on its first airing, and have purchased the DVD copy the MINUTE I knew it was available just to see the unedited version that comes with the DVD. It didn't help, but did give me a chance to show my astute skills of memorization in that I quoted EVERY line. Maybe I'm just a fan of MST3K (very true), or Manos: The Hands of Fate strikes a chord deep in my El Pasoan psyche (I hope and pray that aint true). In any event, were you to begin purchasing MST3K products, either on VHS or DVD, make EVERY effort to secure this harbinger of cinematic doom for your collection. And please, as was said in the MST3K guide and companion book, don't give away the secret ending to Manos: The Hands of Fate.
Rating: Summary: A scathing look at mid-60s social mores Review: A summer vacation ... a wrong turn down a desert road ... a mysterious big-kneed manservant. THIS MOVIE HAS IT ALL. You'll gasp in horror as Torgo & Co. weave their intricate web of evilness. The film is a daring expose of stuff that goes on somewhere.
Rating: Summary: "Big knees! Good, let's go with it!" Review: This episode of MST3K is called by many the best ever. While I like this one very much, I don't think it is the best ever. It may, however, be the worst actual film that the MST crew has ever had to endure. In what amounts to no more than a snuff film, a family consisting of aa incompetent father, worry-wart mother, annoying kid and a poodle are going on vacation to the "Valley Loogie" (Lodge). They get lost after a drive through the country that seems to take no less than 19 hours, and end up at a charming little bed and breakfast with a delightful host. Actually, it's a rundown shack with big-kneed, man-goat torgo as their host. Torgo works for the charmingly named "The Master" who has a very poorly painted portrait of himself hanging above the charred body parts on the mantle. While they are there, Torgo freaks everyone out with his odd behavior and Shatner-esque speaking style. Meanwhile, the poodle gets killed by a hellbeast and good ole Torgo unsuccessfully attempts to seduce the mother, using the ole "fondle-her-hair-and-then-stare-through-the-window-at-her" technique. Then "The Master," who's name is Manos apparently (Spanish for "hands"), wakes his brides of Satan who set about wrestling in outfits made of mosquito netting for the rest of movie, after first killing Torgo. In the end everything works out fine, as Torgo gets resurrected, has his hand burned off by Manos, is killed again, the father becomes the new Torgo (minus a few pounds in the knee region) and the mother and daughter are added to Manos' growing legion of wives. Well, I guess it didn't really work out fine, but it felt like it did since I was so happy the movie ended at all, I didn't really care what happened. The jokes throughout the episode were pretty funny for the most part, but I think what held this movie back from being a true classic is the fact Joel and Bots resorted to a lot of "woe is me" jokes, as I call them. That means that they just kind of sit there and whimper about how bad the movie is without ever really getting around to making specific jokes. Still, it is pretty funny for the most part, and the host segments where Frank and Dr. F apologize for the movie were pretty funny. I would definitely recommend getting this episode, but only after you've seen some other ones first (such as Pod People, Mitchell, Red Zone Cuba and Cave Dwellers).
Rating: Summary: rock! Review: The movie being ridiculed is....quite possibly..the absolute worst movie ever created... And in the grand tradition of MST3K, they SOMEHOW manage to make the movie watchable ;) This movie had me rolling on the ground laughing hysterically, I was crying, my friends were crying and we were laughing about the movie for a good hour after it was over. EXCELLENT movie to own ;) Factoids aobut the movie, Manos, "the hands of fate": * the film festival that helped produce the movie does not have it listed in their archives. they've disavowed knowledge of it...
Rating: Summary: rock! Review: The movie being ridiculed is....quite possibly..the absolute worst movie ever created (and I've seen a crapload). And in the grand tradition of MST3K, they SOMEHOW manage to make the movie watchable ;) This movie had me rolling on the ground laughing hysterically, I was crying, my friends were crying and we were laughing about the movie for a good hour after it was over. EXCELLENT movie to own ;) Factoids aobut the movie, Manos, "the hands of fate": * the film festival that helped produce the movie does not have it listed in their archives. they've disavowed knowledge of it. * one actor killed himself and two actors died after it was all over. * the cast attempted to mutiny multiple times and had to be persuaded that the movie was worth going on with.
Rating: Summary: MAKE THE PAIN STOP!!! Review: OK, 1st... right off the bat, let me explain the 5 rating i gave this. if you're a fan of Mystery Science Theater, then you'll understand that a high rating means the movie is bad. wait... really,really,really bad.... you know what? words can't even begin to convey the feelings of complete and utter dread this movie seems to convey. THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER. period. end of line. i don't say this lightly. it is voted the #1 worst movie ever made by the Internet Movie Database. you can feel honored if you make it through a sitting of this movie, that you've seen THE worst movie ever made. now i will just touch on a few 'highlights' of this movie. Right from the begining you'll notice the editing and pacing of the movie is beyond amatuer... like the director (who also stars in the movie) gave the editing duties over to his 9 year old son who had no idea what 'cutting' some scenes meant. there are moments in this movie that will boggle your mind.. like why do they keep showing scene after scene of NOTHING!! no dialog or anything. just long scenes where you get to see what was filmed when they accidently left the camera on while driving to the next shoot location. you somehow feel you've lost a good portion of your soul after watching this monstrosity. Then there is the infamous and legendary Torgo.. the mis-shapen inbred hick with Parkinson's and bee hives for thighs who stares into the camera wondering why he agreed to be in the movie. he even comes with his own soundtrack like a video game character everytime he walks on camera (please research the now famous Torgo's Theme). Torgo speaks as if he is holding back a colon full of burning excrement. next is the scary and ominous Master... this freakshow of a bad magician gone worse is constantly mugging the camera trying to look and sound evil. it is apparent he has no idea why he's in the movie either. in fact, ALL the actors look like they are improvising every scene... there couldn't possibly have been a script for a movie this bad. along the way you get to meet several other odd characters thrown in as favors, but the ones to watch are Torgo and The Master. interestingly enough...3 people involved in this movie had committed suicide.. Torgo for one, before it was even released. he must have seen the final cut and went straight home to do what any self respecting man would do after being a part of this movie... end his life. and you too will feel like ending your life trying to understand how a movie like this got made in the first place.... but alas... you will never get those precious 97 minutes of your life back... for you have forever been scarred by Manos: Hands of Fate.
Rating: Summary: Classic MST3K Review: This one is a must for any MST3K fan.
Rating: Summary: Worst Movie Ever! Review: Oy. You know, the whole point of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is to find incredibly bad movies and make fun of them. This time, they outdid themselves. They found a movie SO bad that even the evil Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank APOLOGIZE to Joel and the 'bots for making them watch it. I mean... THAT'S bad. Joel and the 'bots make a nasty pill easier to swallow, but even they can't save "Manos." This is a film for the hardcore Mistie only. On the plus side, this DVD contains the GREAT MST3K blooper reel, "Poopie," which would be worth buying even on its own. A lot of broken robots and blown lines make for a nice half-hour or so of laughs.
Rating: Summary: "Manos" : The Movie of Fate Review: "Manos": The Hands of Fate - was there ever a more painful piece of cinema inflicted upon a poor, unsuspecting piece of celluloid? I'd wager the answer is a resounding "no". Yes, this movie is as bad as you've heard - if not worse. For Joel and the 'Bots, this is cruel and unusual punishment. Alot of people laud this as the best episode of MST3k ever, and while I think its definately funny, I wouldn't go so far as to say its the best. But you can't blame the SOL gang: they didn't really have much to work with. Still, I'm giving it five stars for three reasons: 1. The movie "Manos" itself. This is the hands down, undisputed, worst movie that the show has ever featured - it has to be seen to be believed. The plot is indecipherable, the acting makes Ed Wood movies look like Shakespere, and I don't have a clue as to why some of the characters were even in the movie. The camera work make it look like you're seeing through the eyes of a Glaucoma victim. According to the Internet Movie Database (which ranks this as the worst movie of all time), this film was made on a dare by a fertilizer salesman, and it shows. 2. The DVD includes as a special feature the entire Poopie Reel - an hour long collection of outtakes so hilarious that I actually watch it more often than I do the movie proper. This more than balances the palatte against Manos (I think the DVD designers were feeling guilty) and easily justifies buying the DVD. 3. Its got Torgo! What else needs to be said? The bottom line: No MST3k collection will be harmonious without this DVD added. Take the "Manos" challenge.
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