Rating: 
Summary: Insanity At Its Best
Review: Manos: Hands of Fate makes all other B movies look like Oscar material. This thing is so bad, the viewer is nearly left feeling sorry for the people who made it. Home movies are easily better than this. In one sense, Manos seems worthy of some kind of reward because of its consistency in utter nonsense. So look no further. Manos WAS honored with a reward. It received the glory of resurrection by none other than the epitome of cinema sarcasm. And naturally the MST3K staff show no mercy on this flick. Pacing down the highway at about five miles per hour is a family of three on vacation. Joel opens the commentary: "This is the slowest car chase I've ever seen." Mixed up with his directions, Pop makes a wrong turn somewhere and the good guys end up lost in a desert where they happen upon some decrepit motel. The camera focuses on some weirdo standing on the porch known as Torgo. This guy is quite simply beyond any hope of description. He appears to be so low on the evolutionary scale that it is perhaps best to imagine him as a hillbilly without a brain. The character, played by John Reynolds, dons some sort of padding in his trouser legs to add excessive bulge to his knees. He exaggerates this appearance with a sloppy, staggering walk on his tiptoes in short, rapid steps. This ridiculous strut is accompanied by a comical music riff trying to sound like the Twilight Zone theme. I think the idea here was to give the impression that Torgo possessed the hind legs of a cloven-hoofed beast. This was, no doubt, to make him extra scary. Joel apparently interpreted his appearance differently: "Uh. . . Torgo, that is NOT where you're supposed to wear your Depends." Meanwhile down the road a piece, a couple of young hot teens are parked at the side of the highway in a sport coupe convertible, and working overtime on some serious tongue activity! Servo's immediate response is, "Whoa! Manos takes it up a notch!" Joel is equally startled: "Go Speed Racer!" Alas, a couple of cops drop by to clean up the moment and put the family values back into the movie. And boy can these cops act! Back at the ranch, Pop (also known as Mike) decides the family needs to hit the road, but he and his wife, Maggie, suddenly realize that their little daughter is missing! It turns out she's discovered a basement where Frank Zappa's twin brother and about six women are residing in suspended animation. Then the scary stuff unfolds. First, The Master and his wives wake up from their nap, and he decides that Maggie will be his next wife. But the ladies bicker over the fact that a little girl is involved. They decide to settle the matter with a cat fight in their nighties! To hell with the tonguing couple in the convertible; this scene is, as Crow observes, "Probably the reason the movie was made." Meanwhile, Torgo bonks Mike on the head because he wants Maggie for his wife too. This is Maggie's lucky day! The Master is not particularly pleased with that idea, however, so he orders Torgo killed during a sacrificial rite. The Master's wives respond by giving Torgo a massage. Poor Torgo ends up sacrificing one of his hands in a fire ritual, and then runs away with both legs working better than ever! Making sense so far? MST3K selected to capitalize on the character of Torgo. Mike Nelson makes his first appearance in this very episode as none other than Torgo the pizza delivery boy, complete with that ridiculous stagger and musical accompaniment. It's a riot. Also in this episode is a film called Hired. Occasionally, MST3K preceded their featured movie with a budget industrial film, otherwise known as a "short." This one is a customer service motivator by the Jim Handy Organization designed for Chevrolet sales representatives. It was made sometime in the early 1940s. The quality of Manos is so bad that Hired actually gives it a run for its money. For any newcomer, it is worth noting that MST3K is a cult program. It is alternative satire with a touch of slapstick. For those who relate to its approach, MST3K is splendid comedy. It's a nice escape from the excessive sitcom environment that bombards the airwaves. It is simple, direct, in-your-face humor. MST3K isn't for everyone, but if you're curious enough to look into it, this episode ranks among one of the favorites. Viewing under the influence should serve to enhance the ride. Enjoy!
Rating: 
Summary: PROOF THAT SATAN EXISTS AND WALKS AMONG US
Review: I'm not a religious man, but after masochistically suffering through this vile piece of cinematic drek, I was enlightened that God must exist because only Lucifer himself could have allowed this bile to be made. Remember Kevin Spacey in "The Usual Suspects"? -"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist". Well, sorry Verbal, but he made it abundantly clear he is real with "Manos: Hands of Fate" (literally, "Hands: Hands of Fate). I had to rate it one star merely out of technicality; there is nothing here that deserves one star. True, this film was made on a bet by a Texas fertilizer salesman who committed suicide 2 weeks after it was released. Lucky S.O.B. got off easy, for were he alive today I'm sure Congress would federally mandate his execution. I felt it necessary to apologize to my retinas and started taking self-hypnosis exercises to hopefully expunge my memory of this horrid non-film. Thus far, I have succeeded in forgetting my phone number and how to drive, but these are minor consequences in the fact that I would lovingly erase every memory in my head just so long as the twisted recollection of Manos went with them. My review doesn't cover the aspects of the movie, but merely to serve as a warning to those with morbid curiosity interested in viewing it. If it's pain you want, put a fork in the toaster; skin will regenerate, but your mind will be scarred forever. The retched souls who made it couldn't have been sober for more than about 39 seconds at a time, for it would take massive consumption of just about every kind of illicit substance to make anyone think that #1: this film was worth making, and #2: that anyone would bother to watch it. I would say avoid Manos like the plague, but I would lovingly embrace the plague and every other pathogen as an alternative to maiming myself further by watching it again. I have become a vastly better person for I fear my punishment in Hell would be to watch this movie for eternity with the director at my side, for he truly resided there. God have mercy on those who share my pain; for the rest of you, use the gift God has given you, and never let this movie cross your mind again.
Rating:
Summary: A painful film and a favorite episode
Review: Manos is often referred to as the worst film ever done on MST3K by many fans and some of the show's writers and seeing is believing no matter how many times you watch it. It's an amazing piece of, er, uh, cinema, that will leave you wondering how and why it was made. However, you'll be glad the film's "star" and producer decided it was his dream to make a movie because the MST3K cast and writers do such an amazing job turning this movie from a waste of film into a hilarious comedy (see the Psychotronic Film Guide by M. Weldon for more info on the movie itself). The short before the film, "Hired", is also hilariously handled. The bonus inclusion of the "Poopie" out-takes reel is also something every fan of the show should see and is a great extra feature.
Rating:
Summary: How dare they lampoon this modern classic?
Review: Equaled in clarity of vision and flawless execution only by the greater works of Orson Welles and Alfred Hitchcock, brilliant independent film auteur Hal Warren's Manos: The Hands of Fate transcends its genre to do everything that it should and even more. Not only is it riveting edge of your seat entertainment, it also boasts a psychological depth unequaled by any other horror movie, achieved mostly through John Reynold's Oscar-worthy, divinely subtle performance as the tormented, tragically misshapen caretaker Torgo. Part Quasimodo, part Hamlet, this gentle soul's noble end, in which he is massaged to death by a group of terrifying succubae in luscious robes, is unarguable one of the most poignant in motion picture history - it is both a tragedy and a triumph of the human spirit. Oh, was I alone with a tear in the eye at the end! Indeed, Hal Warren's masterpiece achieves the perfect balance between the heartrendingly sad, the refreshingly sardonic, and the chillingly satanic. The Master and his hellbeast are as much evil personified as Margaret is the embodiment of goodness and chastity. In a way, this is the definitive modern-day equivalent of Goethe's Faust, though even more sublime in the simple poetry of its dialogue. When Torgo describes his master as being "not dead the way you know it" and "with us always" he is speaking for all of us, how we truly live on through the memory of our words and deeds in the minds of those who follow us, be they righteous or malevolent. Hal Warran not only changed the face of the Texan film industry by encapsulating such a grand story in less than 75 minutes, it also helped usher in a whole new perspective of looking at film, discovering different forms which never would have been conceived. Also, it's obviously a very personal film for Warren, who allows us to share his love and devotion to the project, and it is a truly moving, cathartic experience. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry, and maybe - just maybe - you'll learn a little bit about yourself.
Rating:
Summary: Too horible to make fun of
Review: I've seen a fair number of MST3K episodes, but this has to be the worst movie they have ever tried to make fun of. In order to be funny, the movie has to be remotely watchable. But this thing was such an amateur backyard project there wasn't enough to poke fun at. This is one for the scrap pile.
Rating: 
Summary: One of MST's very best
Review: Watching a movie like "Manos: The Hands Of Fate" without Joel, Tom Servo & Crow along for the ride, would have been about as much fun as getting a corkscrew in your eye. This is one of the most bizarre films ever made, and makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. And therefor, it gives Joel and the boys ample comic fodder...and they certainly go to town with it. Some of the best lines in MST history can be found during this film, and is definitely one of my all-time favorite episodes. Right up there with "Cave Dwellers" and "Pod People". The Satellite Of Love was never the same (IMO) when Joel Hodgson left, and this episode proves why he was so sorely missed.
Rating:
Summary: Lighten up guys! It wasnt directed by Hitchcock!
Review: With all the negative reviews I read both here and also on the IMDB of this movie, I just had to get it! And I decided, after watching it at least a dozen times, that it is far from the worst movie ever made. (I use John Waters' Pink Flamingos as the standard to judge all others by) First, realize that this movie was made by a fertilizer salesman. It is strictly an amateur movie. It would have never made it out of the limelight of El Paso, if not for our robot friends. From reviews I read about it from other sources, when it played briefly in El Paso, It got laughed at, rather than put down. It does have redeeming qualities. First, it was filmed in color. The color and picture quality are exactly the quality shown on old Bonanza episodes on a 1962 RCA round screen color TV. Second, ToRGo shows what your legs and thighs will look like if your cat uses them as a scratching post. Thirdly, it shows that The Master can't be killed. He is already undead. And fourthly, it shows the glorious countryside around El Paso, and each scene is different, you can tell that if you look at each repetitive scene closely. Could it be that the whole countryside is just a repetition of farmlands planted with the same crops? I think so. Sure, the print is blurry. Sure, the music is drab and repetitive. Sure the same narrator uses his voice on most of the characters. exCEPT oF couRSE fOR tORgo! My favorite part was when tHE maSTer BurNs thE hANd OfF oF tORgo! What a scene! And the 'bot's riffing of that hand is a hoot! I can imagine what ToRGo was thinking as he ran off, with the stump on his arm on fire! But Geez, all it is is an amateur movie! It can't compare with the torrid tripe that is offered in The Creeping Terror! And, after all, it is a mythical story. It is nothing as tragic and pathetic as the actual trashing of once great has-beens as is done in monstrosities like "Angel's Revenge!"...
Rating:
Summary: Brilliant
Review: Yes, even though the actuall movie, "Manos: The Hands of Fate" is hands down (no pun intended) the worst thing ever to be concieved on the silver screen, or small screen for that matter, the jokes have to be by far the most funny I have ever seen on MST3K. My favorite of which is at the end when it's day time again and we see the same scenery we did in the beginning, I believe it's Crow exlaimes, "The movie lapped itself." I about died. Buy this video if you love the hysterical jokes of MST3K, that's why you watch the show in the first place, not to actually watch a movie.
Rating:
Summary: The Worst of the Worst
Review: I've watched Troll 2 and always thought it was the worst movie I've ever seen. Then I decided to watch Manos, the Hands of Fate. If you're a fan of bad movies (Plan 9 type bad movies), then you need to watch this one. Joel and the Bots are in rare form as they skewer this piece of garbage. You know you're in trouble when the first 10 minutes is just stock footage of various landscapes. Or when the same 2 people are making out in a car and are seen by the same 2 cops over and over again. Or when Torgo talks and acts like someone who was probably drunk (can you blame him?) the whole 2 days of filming. And the final skit of Torgo's pizza delivery had me in tears. Look, I can't fully describe the magnitude of how bad this film really is. If you're an MST3K fan, and you haven't seen this yet, this is must viewing.
Rating:
Summary: Delightfully Funny Suffering!
Review: I didn't know what to expect when I first watched "Manos: Hands of Fate". I had heard in other reviews that this has to be probably the worst movie ever made, and that makes it perfect for Mystery Science Theater 3000! The plot for "Manos: Hands of Fate" is rather confusing, sparse, and ridiculous. A vacationing family gets lost and find themselves at a house run by an extremely strange, vacant, and odd man named Torgo who runs the home for "the master". Torgo, for some very strange reason, has the scariest legs I have ever seen. The way they bend is just not human. But back to the story. The family ends up staying at this house, the whole time given clues to leave immediately, but of course they don't. More odd behavior ensues, including the emergence of "the master" and his harem of wives who seem as though they're dead but we don't really know for sure (the ladies' fight scene is incredibly funny thanks to the commentary from Joel and the robots). Pretty soon lives are being threatened and in the end you're left thinking, "Why did I watch this?" This is the absolute perfect movie for the MST3K crew. Their hilarious comments miraculously get you through this horrible movie. I don't know what the director was thinking, but at least he gave us something to laugh and cringe at...however, I doubt that was his ultimate goal. I would definitely suggest this DVD to any MST3K fan. It's a must have!
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