The Fat Spy

Rating:
Summary: just plain-bizarre
Review: A just plain-bizarre hotch potch of crap, THE FAT SPY is an often-funny film thanks to the comic stylings of Phyllis Diller and Jack E. Leonard, but falls flat due to a slow pace and outrageous plot, not to mention a sorely-miscast Jayne Mansfield.

The real standout in the otherwise-lacklustre cast is Phyllis Diller, who totally camps it up as the hilarious Camille Salamander.

However, the real reason why the film bombs is that is can't decide what it is - one moment you are rolling on the floor with laughter, the next minute the screen is bursting with dancing, bikini-clad teenagers. Is it a comedy or a beach party film? I have no idea, and I don't think the director did either.

Then there is the sorely-miscast Jayne Mansfield doing her best Marilyn Monroe impersonation, cooing sweet nothings into Jack E. Leonard's ear. This film just does not make sense, although it would be fantastic on Mystery Science Theatre.

Buy this film, if only for the fantastic Phyllis Diller.

Rating:
Summary: BURNT!!
Review: Campy it may very well be, but it is hard to watch this video. BE WARNED: This tape is recorded in the dreaded EP mode. I should have put 2 and 2 together because of the cheap price, but I burnt myself. Don't make the same mistake. Tracking adjustment will correct the sound but the picture goes out. Correct the picture and the sound 'buzzes.' Frustrating, exasperating!! EP dupes should be abolished. Don't buy this tape and wait for DVD release in January 2002....or get it on some other brand other than Parade Video.

Rating:
Summary: My new favorite movie
Review: Describing this movie is like describing the love of a child or incense smoke rising, but I will do my best. The Fat Spy is a story as old as time itself, the ongoing search for the Fountain of Youth. Only this time our heroes discover that the Fountain is not actually a fountain of water, but two black twin roses growing from the same stem.

Well I'm sure everyone buys or sees this movie for one reason, Jayne Mansfield, so let's talk about her. I've never seen her as heavy as she did in this movie. Granted she is still beautiful and stunning, but the hourglass figure is gone as she is a bit thick in the middle. By modern spaghetti-thin model standards, she could even be described as fat, but to me who can appreciate a fine woman, she looked great. One scene has her wrapped in only what can be described as the happiest towel in Hollywood. You get some great cleavage and chest shots as she dries herself. She also sings a number to her love interest 'Irving'. Unfortunately, this film will not cement Jayne's acting abilities for immortality. Let's face it, she was what she was. A great body and a rival (ha ha) to Marilyn Monroe. Jayne seems to go out of her way to act just like her with the dreamy, whispery voice and dumb blonde routine that Marilyn found inescapable as her career went on. In one scene where Jayne is tied to an AC unit she screams for help. She suddenly pauses and turns to the camera and pathetically starts doing the Marilyn pout and blowing kisses.

This film which was probably filmed on a budget that couldn't drive a car across the country was shot on a lake which was supposed to be a beach. This film is actually a musical and any excuse possible is used to throw in bad singing and worse dancing. Take for instance the song sang before the opening credits even start. "When people got money, they sure act funny". One scene has the teenage group on the beach deciding they need to go to Cape Coral after 'discovering' a sign posted by a Florida Tourist attraction. All the girls swim out to the boat to start it up, while the guys all make their way to the dock, where quite handily, drums and guitars are found. They sing a number while waiting for the girls to pull up with the boat. Another song is sung by Phyllis Diller. She mostly talks words to music rather than singing, so there is some mercy here. However the drop on the floor and laugh until you cry scene is the 'Everybody do the Turtle' song. The song is so terrible, it will linger in your head for days.

There are some loose ends that don't quite tie up as the movie ends. One kid goes fishing in a rubber raft (he sings a song while fishing of course), and catches a mermaid. Well after going back to shore he decides he loves her and wants to go find her. He starts moping around and the last mention of him is his clothes are found on the shore. Reckon he swam out naked to find his love.

The film quality is terrible, even on DVD. The picture is grainy and the sound is horrible. At times you can't hear the lines because the surf is too loud. Then there are the cartoon balloons that try to move the movie along and attempt to assist the viewer in the progress of the film. Just before the ending credits there were promises of upcoming movies: The Return of Fat Spy, Bride of Fat Spy, and Son of Fat Spy. I'm still looking, but haven't found them yet.

All in all this movie rules. My wife's quote "Oh you owe me big for making me sit through this."

Rating:
Summary: Possibly the worst movie I've seen
Review: I purchased this movie without reading the reviews, based only on my fondness for older movies and the other movies I've seen the two main stars in. This movie was awful, and the sad part is, there were sooooo many opportunities to save the movie all throughout. The acting was obviously overdone on purpose, I just wish I knew why - it didn't come off as funny or as a satire if that was the intent. In the end - I threw out the DVD so as not to accidently subject someone else to it.

Rating:
Summary: Blecch Blanket Bingo!
Review: It's funny that American-International is commonly thought of as the low-budget, bottom of the barrel studio of the '60s, when watching something like "The Fat Spy" immediately proves that A.I.P.'s movies were the archetype or model for any number of obscure regional productions like this one. The thing is - the Texas or Florida knockoffs have an entirely different and much better feel to them.

"The Fat Spy" takes the "Beach Party" model of healthy, squeaky-clean All-American teens and populates its landscape with raggedy, locally-recruited Florida kids. Hardly "Annette" caliber, they sport excessive tattoos, withering bouffants, dribbling cat-eye makeup and all seem to smoke incessantly. Instead of frolicking on the blue Pacific beaches, they gently tread on the seaweedy, brown water shores of Cape Coral, Florida, which is actually on the Caloosahatchee RIVER. Why they didn't just drive another 30 miles to Ft. Myers or Sanibel Island is beyond me. It's fun for people familiar with this area to see it before it devolved into another strip-mall wasteland.

The plot is totally incomprehensible. I've watched it three times and have no idea what is happening. The songs are earache-inducingly bad. But it is incredibly hypnotic, with the aforementioned oddball locations and a cast (Mansfield, Diller) who are already a bit surreal-looking to begin with. Points especially to Jayne who ticked off "beach party" in her expanding list of exploitation genres during this period, including countryploitation (Las Vegas Hillbillies), sword-and-sandal (The Loves of Hercules), mondo movies (Primitive Love), and finally her post-mortem JAYNEploitation (Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield). Too bad she never did a straight-up horror movie.

As for the DVD - big points off for the cruddy packaging, featuring misspelled names of both Diller and Jack Leonard on the cover (!) and an unrelated photo of Jayne which was easily taken ten years before this movie was made. No extras and a sub-par full-frame mastering with lots of artifacting, although it is easily better than VHS copies. At least it is bargain-priced.

Rating:
Summary: SO Horrible It's Fantastic!!!!!
Review: Okay, so I bought this DVD for $1.99 cause I've worked with Phyllis Diller and love her and thought - "I have to see this!" - Oh no! This is possibly the worst film ever made - songs out of nowhere, dialog out of sync - horrible lines and worse delivery, but I had a FABULOUS time watching it. If you love early John Waters and Ed Wood, you'll love this. This is worse than any performance I ever gave on film! Jack E. Leonard, Ms. Diller, the beautiful Ms. Mansfield (even fat she's more interesting to watch than these walking corpses on TV now) - music and performances by Johnny Tillotson (remember him?) and the Wild Ones, who look like hustlers - all of this mess adds up to great fun. See it with friends - they'll think you've lost your mind! I'm buying every copy I can find and sending it to film critics for Christmas! This film is worse than ANY Brady Bunch episode! Buy this horrible thing, you won't regret it!

Rating:
Summary: So bad that it's good!
Review: This is one of those low-budget movies that is so bad that it actually is good. It's in the usual '60s teen-beach-bikini-party genre of old Elvis movies, but with much less taste and quality. I love it, though, because it's obscure and pure '60s in style, the music is good and pure '60s, it has Jayne Mansfield & some decent gags, and there is some passable Florida scenery. What a pity: with a few changes in scenery and story and camera angles it could've been a classic.

Rating:
Summary: It's bad and that's not good.
Review: This movie is just plain awful.The combination of Jayne Mansfield, Phyllis Diller,a low budget,and rock and roll beach parties sounded like a sure bet.Instead,it's a real loser. The film is so self consciously "hip" that it ends up being entirely devoid of humor.There are zero laughs,intentional or otherwise.This is most definitly NOT some under appreciated "camp classic" If I made this film, I would disown it too.(Amazon needs to add a zero stars option)

Rating:
Summary: For Camp Fun: The Fat Spy
Review: Unbelievable bad movie. However, movie is so unintentionally funny it is a must for people to see. The funniest member of the cast is not Jack Leonard, Jayne Mansfield or Phyllis Diller but Lauree Berger as one of the miscast teenagers with her awful singing and smerky dancing. Jayne Mansfield is cute as a modern day Daisy Mae trying to get Jack Leonard to marry her. Phyllis Diller is also amusing as Camille Salamander. Jack Leonard does well in dual roles. So, if you appreciate bad movies then see this one. Everyone do the Turtle.