Rating: 
Summary: Bottom of the barrel
Review: This movie deserves zero stars. It is honestly one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Don't waste your precious hours on earth watching this poorly written, acted, shot, and edited feature. I've seen a lot of low, no-budget movies before; I've even worked on some, and this one getting all the recognition that it has gotten just astounds me. As every movie I choose to view they are given 20 minutes to grab me with something, be it the plot, the cinematography or other. There is simply nothing good to say about it. Get your thumb ready if you rent this one because it will work overtime on the fast forward button.
Rating: 
Summary: Freakin' hilarious!!!
Review: This movie is the most enjoyable thing I've seen in a very long time!!! The acting varies from hammy to terrible (although the narrator is brilliant!!!); the picture quality is shoddy; the kung-fu, well it's not Jet-Li standard, but it's focus is more on the comedy than the action; the lipsynch is wonky; the script is brilliant; the music is fantastic and well integrated; and it's really well directed! And it truly is chock full of laughs!Le Demarbre could be the next Peter Jackson for all we know, so enjoy this movie, pay it the homage it deserves, and maybe one day you'll be able to say you witnessed the start of a stellar directing career!
Rating: 
Summary: Move over, Fellini.... NOT!
Review: Watching the first two minutes of this film, you get the impression that the whole production was put together by a couple of undergraduate film students and paid for on someone's Discover card. You wind up rooting for these underdogs, who don't take themselves or anything seriously. The cast wear their lack of acting talent on their sleeves; every frame screams "indie and proud!" Even the fact that the overdubbed dialogue doesn't match the actors' lips is endearing. Camp is raised to a whole new level, and you find something funny in every scene. "JCVH" is not driven by plot developments so much as by what the screenwriter and director thought would be "cool." Like, it would be COOL to shoot a fight scene in a junkyard, with a motorcycle jumping over wrecked cars! It would be COOL to have the heroes crawl through hospital ventilation ducts! So they do it, even though (or maybe because) it's completely gratuitous, and you have to admire their moxie. Then, upon doing a little research, you find out that in fact the director has made other films, that this one has been shown at major festivals (Cannes, for God's sake!) and that it cost an inexplicable ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. Okay, granted, it was Canadian money. But still--what did they spend it all on? The motorcycle stuntman? It sure didn't go to the cast--those guys probably paid to take part. So in that sense it's kind of a letdown. "JCVH," nonetheless, has plenty of funny moments, and I gotta say that the soundtrack is awesome. The Hammerheads' anthem "Everybody Gets Laid Tonight" (listen to it at www.odessafilmworks.com/jcvh/everybody.mp3), clearly inspired by Journey, is one of those songs that you can't get out of your head. The funky "Steppin' Out With Jesus" is almost as unforgettable. Be sure to keep watching through the closing credits for the outtakes and bloopers.
Rating:
Summary: 5 stars is not enough!
Review: What is wrong with you guys? 5 starts? I should be 12, one for every province in the best country in the world...Canada!
Or make it 13 as Florida should be a provibce for just liking our film soooo much! Not to mention all the frost-backed pensioners that escape the clutches of the cold like I escape the Blue Demon's Cobra Clutch!
Anyway, it's a great film, almost as great as Harry Knuckles and the Pearl Necklace, coming this fall!!!!
maybe to a theatre near you, if your lucky and nice to Lee.
Rating:
Summary: Great premise, terrible excecution
Review: When you hear the title, Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter, you think Jesus Christ, in full linens, Hunting Vampires. Instead of this, I watched 90 minutes of pure crap! Jesus only looks like Jesus for the first few scenes, and then runs around Vancouver like a punk rocker, (By the way, a Canadian Punk is absolutley impossible)plus Jesus fights more Athiests than Vampires! The Movie had the chance to be raw and hilariously offensive, but intead the Writer/Director played it safe, thus losing the humor. This movie is Garbage, the creator should take this story and sell it to someone who could do something great with the idea, Like Trey Parker.
Rating:
Summary: Sick fun humor!
Review: Wow...this was incredible. Probably the WORST movie ever made, which makes it too damn funny! The title theme "Everybody Get Laid Tonight" sticks in your head, and all the kung fu fighting from our Lord and Savior makes it a hoot :) I'm a Christian, and it was alot of fun to be able to laugh at movies such as this. Not nearly as good as Dogma, but considering the budget of this movie, it was worth buying :)
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