Rating: 
Summary: Woody's weakest film? Say it ain't so!
Review: I love Woody Allen. In fact, he's probably my single favorite director, a great writer, and an artistic hero all around. But this is the weakest film I've ever seen of his. It only warrants a two. It has some nice moments, some good jokes, some cute scenes, and EXCELLENT cinematography, but as a whole it is weak.
Woody is getting too old to be a believable romantic hero (along with Clint Eastwood: who'd ever think I'd get them together in one thought!), Helen Hunt is an overrated actress at best and wooden at worst, but not as wooden as Charlize Theron. And I question the logic of taking a brilliant, brilliant comedic actor like Dan Aykroyd and giving him the dullest character in the piece.
maybe twenty years of more serious films has eroded Woody's ability to do a straight comedy like the slapstick bits of brilliance he began with.
Though Hollywood Ending was much funnier.
Rating: 
Summary: Woody Allen Is Back!
Review: I loved this movie. The plot was new, the script was halarious, and the acting was amazing. I won't give away any of the movie because I want you to see this for yourself. If you love comedies, Woody Allen, or both, this movie is for you. Even if you don't get all the jokes (and there are a lot of them), just think a little and you will laugh till you cry. This movie is a must-see!
Rating:
Summary: One of Woody's Least Accomplished Comedies
Review: In Allen's latest period piece and thirty-second film as a director, he copies but can't capture the spirit and nostalgia of Radio Days or The Purple Rose of Cairo. Watching him struggle as C.W. Briggs, an insurance investigator who falls for an efficiency expert played by Helen Hunt, he finally proves that certain roles he could have pulled off in the 1980s are now simply out of his league. Even the writing and direction here are passable at best--the whole film is a disappointment. Some of Allen's best work is adept at summoning up that smoky, forties richness (Radio Days comes instantly to mind), but watching him waltzing through the insurance office, trying to look dogged, brings the whole thing to a standstill. Even Hunt seems at a loss in the big-blonde role with her dolled-up hairstyle--even when she's not supposed to be a cold fish, she acts so bitchily that she isolates everyone. As usual, the music--a selection of jazz standards, "Sophisticated Lady" and the like--is chosen and employed well. They can't keep the 103 minutes from feeling twice as long.
Rating: 
Summary: the gags are a little forced
Review: This is not one of Woody Allen's best movies, yet it delivers enough humor and witty exchanges to satisfy his fans. Helen Hunt spars with Woody throughout; he is the one she loves to hate, and becomes the one she initially hates to love, until she gives in and romance triumphs. The gags are a little forced, not free-flowing as we expect from Allen, and---as many critics have mentioned--the age difference between the two is a little disconcerting. Although not vintage Allen, this movie is funny enough.
Rating: 
Summary: Witty dialogue
Review: Not being a Woody Allen Fan myself, I opted to take a chance on this one. I was surprisingly pleased. This movie was extremely funny, and has dialogue that is sharp and cuts right through. The movie has a hypnotic twist that is quite amusing. Jewel theft, romance, and dialogue that will keep you in stitches makes for a great movie to watch. This movie is sharp enough to allow you to watch this one more than once.
Rating:
Summary: Woody on cruise control, but that's still good entertainment
Review: It's pretty obvious that Woody Allen is not reaching for the stars these days. Long gone are the days of "Annie Hall" and "Manhatten", where he tried to be a "serious" comedian. These days he seems to be content to make simple comedies with some kind of creative twist to them. As long as they reach at least the quality of this film, that's ok by me. For one thing, even though he doesn't produce blockbusters, actors clamor to get into his films, which is one reason to see them. Yes, he has his old favorites such as Wallace Shawn, but each movie he directs usually has a cast of pretty recognizable actors to make it interesting. In this one we get Dan Aykroyd and David Ogden Stiers on the male side, plus the tantalizing trio of Helen Hunt, Charlize Theron, and someone I'm glad is still hanging around movies in Elizabeth Berkley. This movie takes us back to the 1940's, a time Allen seems to like to visit. These are the times of his boyhood, and, while idealized, probably have some merit as to how things were in those days. Which, take away today's technology, is probably how we would act. The creative twist here is that Allen, as an insurance investigator, and his office rival Helen Hunt both get hypnotized at an office get-together. While under hypnosis, these two fall in love, which could almost have been a movie on it's own. But Allen advances the plot by having the hypnotist, played by Stiers, keep control of them. This way, he can call them in the middle of the night, and have them burgle the homes of the company's clients, as they know the security systems. I will admit I was taken in by this, and did wonder how Allen was going to write himself out of the mess he gets in, especially when he is caught red-handed with booty (Booty having a different meaning in the 1940's than it has today). Throughout the story, we are treated to some great sparring between insecure girl-chaser Allen, and tough but vulnerable Hunt. Some of their lines are keepers to be used by the viewer when the right time comes. My only problems were that the ending is just a bit weak, and despite a handful of good zingers, I wish he could have upped the bar overall with more jokes. But it's still many cuts above your average comedy today that depends on bodily functions to get laughs.
Rating:
Summary: Why am I giving this such a high rating?
Review: Yes, it's light comedy. Yes, it's a deliberately retro period piece and possibly irrelevant to "modern" film audiences (whatever that means). But, like so many of Allen's films, there is so much more to "Jade Scorpion" than meets the eye. Study it just a little more closely, and rich shades of meaning will uncover themselves from its lightweight covers. The difference between hypnosis and self-hypnosis, dream and reality, innocent man and theif, conscious and subconscious is all beautifully and cleverly interwoven in a script which contains almost perfect dialogue. They just don't write one-liners like this anymore; Hunt and Allen exchange zingers with lightning-fast rapidity, and that alone is worth the price of admission. But along the way one is treated to a plot containing many surprising twists and turns; there is also one hilarious moment where Akroyd and Hunt are describing Allen's character, Biggs, exactly as they would Allen and then add that he was "previously married to some tramp"...the oblique reference to Mia Farrow did not escape my attention, and I was giggling for five minutes afterward. Do not let the light tone of this film fool you; like most of Allen's pure comedies, it will be dismissed by some as insubstantial, which is a shame. His recent artistic renaissance ("Deconstructing Harry", "Sweet And Lowdown", "Everyone Says I Love You") has been questioned by some, for what reasons I still cannot fathom--but there will always be those who are jealous of a functioning genius. Indeed, it is the light tone of this film which makes it so
enjoyable; it passes by in no time at all (always the mark of something highly watchable), and when it's over you are left to ponder the deeper meaning behind the facade. And it *is* there.
Rating: 
Summary: Please, enough already...
Review: Woody Allen... My lord... You used to be funny... And creative... Between this dreck and "Celebrity"... Please. Stop.
Rating:
Summary: It's the Egg in the Plant that matters
Review: After years of abuse by Sticky's friend Mr Eurotrash (affectionately known to his closer friends as Scampie), the Sticky decided that to become a more rounded human being he would try different experiences; different cuisine. And that meant trying the one thing he dreaded; eating an eggplant. But after some successful experiments with eating his favourite foods with bad films and actually enjoying the movie, he decided what about trying the other way round? So it was with a nervous heart that the Sticky decided to eat some roasted eggplant with his fav director, the Woodster and his latest opus; the Curse of the Jade Scorpion! As the Sticky bit into the eggplant he was reminded of the things he hated about the eggplant. The evil and leathery skin, the squishy insides and that foul smell. But with the Woodster weaving his magic in front of his eyes, all that melted away as the Sticky chopped on his eggplants and became entranced with movie. In a way the Sticky felt like the Woodster character as the Sticky was also thought of as an old fogey for championing the Sticky. The way the Sticky had to endure his most hated food eggplant was like the Woodster battling it out with the Huntster. But sitting in the cinema, feeling the eggplant juices dripping down his chin, the Sticky was held spellbound by the movie, just like the Woodster, and by the end of it, the Sticky realised that sure, his initial reactions to the eggplant might have been valid, but in the end, the Sticky realised he would be inseparable to the eggplant, just like the Woodster and the Huntster!!
Rating:
Summary: You Will Read This..The Power of the Jade Scorpion Makes You
Review: Woody Allen was just some old guy who makes movies to me before I saw this film.I never got to see it in theatres and I finally did see it on pay per veiw and thought it was an excellant...excellant film.I bought the DVD weeks later and am still watching it.The comendy and one liners are excellant and the plot is engrossing.The cast was pretty talented:Woody Allen(Manhatten Murder Mystery,Annie Hall,Sleepers,Bananas,Small Time Crooks,Manhatten,Husbands and Wives,Hollywood Ending,Hannah and her Sisters)Helan Hunt(As Good As It Gets) Dan Akroyde(Evolution,Ghostbusters)and Charlize Thearon(The Legend of bagger Vance,Sweet November)had a talent that few movie cast have. The Story:Meet CW Briggs.New York's top investorgator.He had been working at his office of 20 years and his newest rival Mary Ann Fitzgerald has been there for 6 months and already she is changing the company around all because of her affair with the boss Chris Magruder.CW and Mary Ann get hypnotized at a party for co worker George Bonds birthday by a hypnotist who is there just to entertain the audience.He hypnotizes them to believe that they are madly in love with each other untill they are broken out of the trance.CW's word is Constaople.But later that night CW gets a call from a mysterious caller who says Constaople and all of a sudden tells CW to go to the Kensington esate and takes are the jewels in the safe and hide them in his house.Unknown that he is the one that is stealing all of the jewels CW invesagates the case.Untill they find a footprint of his shoe....a fingerprint of his.....and a hair of his.....as by the jewel safe. Now the fun begins in THE CURSE OF THE JADE SCORPION. ENJOY!!
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