Rating: 
Summary: Stupidity is not funny
Review: Like some of the other reviewers, I picked up this movie because of the cast, particularly Woody Allen. The one good thing about it is that it wasn't very long, and that I didn't buy it, but rent it cheaply from my local library. Everything else about it is bad. The premise is not bad as far as it goes. Tex, a NY butcher (hopefully a kosher/halal one?) living in Texas marries a floozy who cheats on him at every turn. He kills her, dismembers her and drives over to the New Mexico town of El Niño to bury her corpse. In the way, he loses a hand. A blind woman stumbles over the hand and regains her vision. The hand is delivered to the local church where, in spite of the opposition of the priest, it is displayed as the Virgin's hand. It quickly confirms this reputation and transform's the windswept town into a tourist mecca. One of the dead woman's lovers, an irritating Texas ranger, find out about the murder an tries to arrest Tex and confiscate the missing hand. The local townspeople rebel, kill the ranger, release Tex, and keep the hand. A parallel plot concerns the priest who has lost his faith and is in love with one of the local hookers. The hooker first attempts to become celibate and then marries the priest. So what's wrong with this picture? Virtually everything. It's not being away from New York that has killed Woody Allen's jokes, but the fact that he is no longe allowed to take center stage or to roam freely across his multiple obsessions. Sharon Stone, as his adulterous wife and murder victim, must have been so stricken by the mediocre result that her name has been stricken from the marquee: one looks in vain for her name as the credits pass by (at the movie's end, rather than the beginning, which was surely no accident). David Schwimmer is utterly unrealistic as a priest, instead playing again the bumbling and incoherent character that made him rich at "Friends". Maria Grazia Cucinotta, as the obligatory hooker with a heart of gold is OK, although one wonders why she should fall in love with such a bland character as Schwimmer's priest. Of course it's possible (beautiful women are notorious for their rotten taste in partners) but it doesn't make for a funny movie. Kiefer Sutherland, as the Texas ranger, is even good rather than OK, since he conveys a sense of menace and aggression whenever he appears on the screen. Contrary to the rest of the cast, he stands for something, and has a personality, a rare commodity in this movie. Three actors who play a priest, a nun and a Franciscan monk on a mission from the archbishop to authenticate the supposed holy relic are ludicrous rather than funny. Stupidity is not funny. Clumsiness may be funny (witness Laurel and Hardy), but only when redeemed by some endearing trait (such as friendship or loyalty). These characters are cyphers. They are nothing more than authority figures to mock, and not even that at times. Other reviewers have commented on the film's disrespect for religion and priesthood. That's not the problem. Humour, like love, forgives all. The movie just isn't funny, and so its vulgarity and crudeness are unjustified. With no less than 3 major actors (Allen, Stone and Sutherland) and a great or at least distinguished support cast (Cucinotta, Schwimmer, Drescher, to name a few) it is much less than the sum of its parts. Vulgarity and lewdness are not funny by themselves, but only as part of a reasonable portrayal of human foibles. In this movie genitalia, breasts, profanity and lewdness are in fact substitutes for a plot or for well-rendered characters. This sort of thing may work (more or less) in "gross-out" films intended for the 13-year old set (such as "American Pie", "Dumb and Dumber" or the "Scary Movie" series) but it doesn't in a movie intended for adults. You'd have more fun drinking yourself blind while reading P.J. O'Rourke.
Rating:
Summary: Stupidity is not funny
Review: Like some of the other reviewers, I picked up this movie because of the cast, particularly Woody Allen. The one good thing about it is that it wasn't very long, and that I didn't buy it, but rent it cheaply from my local library. Everything else about it is bad. The premise is not bad as far as it goes. Tex, a NY butcher (hopefully a kosher/halal one?) living in Texas marries a floozy who cheats on him at every turn. He kills her, dismembers her and drives over to the New Mexico town of El Niño to bury her corpse. In the way, he loses a hand. A blind woman stumbles over the hand and regains her vision. The hand is delivered to the local church where, in spite of the opposition of the priest, it is displayed as the Virgin's hand. It quickly confirms this reputation and transform's the windswept town into a tourist mecca. One of the dead woman's lovers, an irritating Texas ranger, find out about the murder an tries to arrest Tex and confiscate the missing hand. The local townspeople rebel, kill the ranger, release Tex, and keep the hand. A parallel plot concerns the priest who has lost his faith and is in love with one of the local hookers. The hooker first attempts to become celibate and then marries the priest. So what's wrong with this picture? Virtually everything. It's not being away from New York that has killed Woody Allen's jokes, but the fact that he is no longe allowed to take center stage or to roam freely across his multiple obsessions. Sharon Stone, as his adulterous wife and murder victim, must have been so stricken by the mediocre result that her name has been stricken from the marquee: one looks in vain for her name as the credits pass by (at the movie's end, rather than the beginning, which was surely no accident). David Schwimmer is utterly unrealistic as a priest, instead playing again the bumbling and incoherent character that made him rich at "Friends". Maria Grazia Cucinotta, as the obligatory hooker with a heart of gold is OK, although one wonders why she should fall in love with such a bland character as Schwimmer's priest. Of course it's possible (beautiful women are notorious for their rotten taste in partners) but it doesn't make for a funny movie. Kiefer Sutherland, as the Texas ranger, is even good rather than OK, since he conveys a sense of menace and aggression whenever he appears on the screen. Contrary to the rest of the cast, he stands for something, and has a personality, a rare commodity in this movie. Three actors who play a priest, a nun and a Franciscan monk on a mission from the archbishop to authenticate the supposed holy relic are ludicrous rather than funny. Stupidity is not funny. Clumsiness may be funny (witness Laurel and Hardy), but only when redeemed by some endearing trait (such as friendship or loyalty). These characters are cyphers. They are nothing more than authority figures to mock, and not even that at times. Other reviewers have commented on the film's disrespect for religion and priesthood. That's not the problem. Humour, like love, forgives all. The movie just isn't funny, and so its vulgarity and crudeness are unjustified. With no less than 3 major actors (Allen, Stone and Sutherland) and a great or at least distinguished support cast (Cucinotta, Schwimmer, Drescher, to name a few) it is much less than the sum of its parts. Vulgarity and lewdness are not funny by themselves, but only as part of a reasonable portrayal of human foibles. In this movie genitalia, breasts, profanity and lewdness are in fact substitutes for a plot or for well-rendered characters. This sort of thing may work (more or less) in "gross-out" films intended for the 13-year old set (such as "American Pie", "Dumb and Dumber" or the "Scary Movie" series) but it doesn't in a movie intended for adults. You'd have more fun drinking yourself blind while reading P.J. O'Rourke.
Rating: 
Summary: Watch a Great Film that Never Made it to the Big Screen
Review: Mexican Director Alfonso Arau provides an exquisite movie. We could say it's a "mystical comedy", that mixes magical reality with fearless satire. An ironic piece, mainly about religion in a small town in New Mexico. With an extraordinary cast that includes David Schwimmer ("Friends"), MarÃa Grazia Cucinotta, Cheech Marin, Kiefer Sutherland, Angélica Aragón, Alfonso Arau, Sharon Stone and Woody Allen, "Picking Up the Pieces" provides really cutting edge humor, not for everybody's taste. Due to distribution problems, the movie was not released in theaters. It was shown on Cinemax for a few months, but it was originally intended for the big screen. Therefore, this DVD version is actually the closest chance for the public to enjoy it as it was conceived. This independent film was produced by the Kushner-Locke Company, and it's about a kosher butcher (Woody Allen playing as Woody Allen) sick and tired of his unfaithful wife (Stone), up to the point where he kills her and cuts her into pieces. On his way to bury her remains he loses a hand, that is found by a blind woman that recovers sight. From then on the hand performs all kind of miracles among the unhabitants of "El Niño". A very original "piece" you should "pick up".
Rating:
Summary: Watch a Great Film that Never Made it to the Big Screen
Review: Mexican Director Alfonso Arau provides an exquisite movie. We could say it's a "mystical comedy", that mixes magical reality with fearless satire. An ironic piece, mainly about religion in a small town in New Mexico. With an extraordinary cast that includes David Schwimmer ("Friends"), María Grazia Cucinotta, Cheech Marin, Kiefer Sutherland, Angélica Aragón, Alfonso Arau, Sharon Stone and Woody Allen, "Picking Up the Pieces" provides really cutting edge humor, not for everybody's taste. Due to distribution problems, the movie was not released in theaters. It was shown on Cinemax for a few months, but it was originally intended for the big screen. Therefore, this DVD version is actually the closest chance for the public to enjoy it as it was conceived. This independent film was produced by the Kushner-Locke Company, and it's about a kosher butcher (Woody Allen playing as Woody Allen) sick and tired of his unfaithful wife (Stone), up to the point where he kills her and cuts her into pieces. On his way to bury her remains he loses a hand, that is found by a blind woman that recovers sight. From then on the hand performs all kind of miracles among the unhabitants of "El Niño". A very original "piece" you should "pick up".
Rating: 
Summary: Surprise! The film was SUPPOSED to be absurd!
Review: No, not every joke works, but many do. And yes, it's completely irreverent, a bit disrespectful and a hair gross at times. The language is kind of rough. But it's still an enjoyable, if not constantly funny film. And it was definitely supposed to be lopsided and offbeat, with, I think, some intentional miscasting to a degree. The problem is, I tried to order this twice, and it got cancelled both times! I had to buy an import. Amazon... can you really buy this now????
Rating:
Summary: Utter stupidity
Review: One could easily bear the fact that this movie seems to fullfill the whole range of mexican-related stereotypes, after all it has happened before in Hollywood, but casting Woody Allen, Cheech Marin, Maria Grazia Cuccinota, David Schwimmer, Lou Diamond Philips for delivering these superficial caracthers in the context of an absolutely stupid story is sacrilege.I am glad this movie never made it to the big screen.I hope that Woody never gets to see it, or he'll need another 50 years of therapy.We see jokes failing helplessly one after another.As the pythons would put it: a complete waste of time!! If you want to see some real Mexican point of view, I reccomend Amores Perros.A little darker, perhaps.
Rating:
Summary: EXELENTE
Review: THIS MOVIE IS GREAT, WODDY ALLEN IS GOOD. AND THE HISTORY IS BETTER..FIVE STAR.
Rating: 
Summary: old faithful
Review: This movie is made in typical Woody Allen splendor. David Schwimmer is adorable as a priest who has little respect for his vows, and though I'm not much of a Sharon Stone fan, she was enjoyable as an unfaithful wife with a supposedly holy middle finger. I recommend this movie for all Woody Allen fans. You won't be disappointed.
Rating: 
Summary: Not what one may expect from the cover
Review: This movie starts with a man (Woody Allen) trying to dispose of the remains of his wife (Sharon Stone) in a small town in New Mexico. He cut her into seven pieces when raged by her continuous cheating. Everything would have gone well, if he didn't lose his wife's hand on the way. The people from the village found this hand and it started to perform miracles for anyone who asked... I was much disappointed by this movie. The cover makes one expect a light comedy. It was not so, Picking Up the Pieces was at times very slow and overall not really funny. There was too much packed all at once but, in my opinion, the biggest fault of the movie was the sound effects: the dialogues and monologues were quiet and unclear. So were the relationship and morals of people. I liked the character portrayed by Maria Gracia Cucinotta. Nevertheless, despite the fact that she was good for it, it should have been developed more in the movie. She is a prostitute who decides to change her profession and that decision is a bigger miracle than any performed by the hand at the same time to people surrounding her. This miracle came from within and the things done by the hand were all physical. The idea of this movie had a lot of possibilities that were wasted. I would not recommend paying money for watching this movie.
Rating:
Summary: Woody at his worst
Review: This was just a very bad film. It was rarely funny and downright painful to watch at times. Woody is way out of his element in New Mexico where this idiotic film is supposed to take place. There is no question in my mind as to why this film never made it into theaters. It would have bombed in a big way. Even though there is a great cast, they don't have a good script to work with so the film falls right on its' face. Don't waste a second watching this huge disappointment.
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