Rating: 
Summary: Stop Making Sense
Review: After reading the Robbins novel my sophomore year in high school, I was fortunate enough to see this movie three times in the theatre shortly after it got released. Watching it again tonight reminded me of how much it blew my mind back then. Granted, the whole thing is gratuitously symbolic, and most of the actors speak as if they'd just skimmed their lines for the first time seconds before going on camera. Still, Even Cowgirls has a fun, campy quality to it that shouldn't be overlooked. If you like Tom Robbins then you'll appreciate the narration and the way Van Sant has the characters talk to one another. Plus the story is lovable ("greater freedom of movement"), the cast is all-star, the costumes are a riot, and William Burroughs is in it! Just relax and enjoy.
Rating: 
Summary: YIPES!!
Review: Certainly one of the dozen or so worst movies ever released in any form, featuring a bizarrely abominable performance by Rain Joan of Arc Phoenix (River's sister, inevitably), as Bonanza Jellybean plus inconceivably awful voiceover narration by Tom Robbins, the author of the novel, which had/retains its peculiar sweet/loopy charms.
Rating: 
Summary: A brave project from the director of Good Will Hunting
Review: Gus Van Sant is a bold film maker. He experiments with unusual ideas and occasionally hits the jackpot. Most would agree that Good Will Hunting and Finding Forrester were successful in every way, but this picture generates violent disagreement. Sadly the majority would dismiss this film as a failed experiment to bring an odd 1970s lesbian cowboy novel to the big screen. There is however a vocal minority who absolutely love the quirkiness of this film. Its difference is at the heart of its charm, and together with Uma Thurman's star quality and k.d. lang's score this movie rises above the everyday action comedy dramas or romances most film-makers are producing.I have read the book and Van Sant's adaptation is very faithful. The sexuality is only hinted at and this is carried forward in the film in the brief scenes of touching between Rain Phoenix and Uma Thurman. Despite being twenty years old, Rain still manages to look like a young teenager, and this perhaps undermines the intention of the scenes with her. If there is such a thing as perfect casting it is that of k.d. lang as the soundtrack composer and performer, which fits as perfectly as you would expect. John Hurt almost reprises his Quentin Crisp in his role as The Duchess, a much louder performance than I imagined from the book, but nevertheless funny and well-observed. All in all, there are some enjoyable and interesting bits and pieces in this film, even if it doesn't quite hit the high tide mark of Van Sant's other achievements.
Rating:
Summary: Induced a blinding rage deep withing my soul!
Review: How could this "film" be credited with trying to capture the essence of the novel?!? Do not even attempt at THINKING of this film, let alone watching it, as it may cause you to doubt any faith you had in the human brain's capacity for creativity and artistic vision. The characters protrayed in the film are nothing like the ones you meet in the novel. Every facet of this movie is horrible. It's uncomfortable to watch. Maddening even, if you are a Tom Robbins fan. Do yourself a favour and read the book. Then read it again. If you ever come across this movie (in any form) run, duck, cover, do ANYTHING to avoid it!!! I'd rather watch the fermentation process of pudding than this abomination!
Rating:
Summary: Some kinda awful
Review: I can't believe the actors who lent their talent to this no-talent film.
Rating:
Summary: Bored Me Half to Death
Review: I give the movie one star for effort. I have nature films of cranes of all types and prefer to watch those. My partner has this movie and loves it. I really did my best to keep my mind open and enjoy the movie but was met with deep disappointment. First of all it was boring! I never knew what they were getting at. It was horrible to watch them spinning chickens in the air, I presume a live tranquilized one. And the bit with the big thumbs so she could hitch hike better than anyone. Give me a break! The flock of birds flying to freedom was a nice touch. That's the reason I gave it one star. The birds outshined the movie. I know everyone likes different movies but in my opinion, save your money. Maybe you can play it the next time you have difficulty sleeping at night and catch a snooze. I'm glad I didn't have to sit through it at the theatre.
Rating:
Summary: GEEZ!!!
Review: I love gus van sant movies and although i had read just how bad this movie really is i thought i would go against all the comments and see it for myself...but now i wish i hadn't...this movie is truly terrible and has no REAL storyline that is either meaninful or either to follow...it is a mess from beginning to end..and although it did have great potential and much much much much much more could have been done with it..i was greatly dissapointed and would not recomended it to anyone...his other movies are much more inventive and enjoyable.
Rating:
Summary: Original, Quirky, Funny But Not For Everyone
Review: I really enjoyed this movie. It is based on the Robbins book and keeps the same daring, quirkiness. WHile in theaters this movie was not a success. Most people find it too strange, but it has grown a cult following. I recommend this movie to anyone with an open mind and a love of movies that are trying to do something different and not just dole out the usual "hollywood plot" that has been done over and over again.
Rating:
Summary: Some kinda awful
Review: I was terribly excited when I learned of the film version of the first Tom Robbins novel I read. Learning of Gus Van Sant, Uma Thurman, Keanu Reeves, John Hurt, and even Rain Pheonix excited me even more. However, I was severly let down. This is, without question, the worst movie I have yet to see. As tavision so eloquently put it, "It is so bad, it isn't even good for being bad." The plot is an abbreviation of the novel, to say the least. Granted, some cuts are to be expected, but some characters were reduced to such a shred of their literary counterparts it raises the question why Van Sant included them at all. The character of Dr. Robbins is completely absent, and the brevity with which the Chink is represented reduces him to a fortune-spewing, mountainman horndog. Pheonix is unbearable as Bonanza Jellybean. Her monotonous tones, lack of presence, and persistent lack of any cuteness destroy what could have been an excellent role. The character of Dolores Del Ruby is also disappointing; she lacks the wildness and distinction from the other cowgirls that the novel provides. This is despite an annoying soliloquoy directly to the camera and all too abundant whip-cracking. Uma Thurman would be the film's saving grace, but salvaging anything from this bastardization is akin to making sno-cones in hell. Hurt's Countess is fair, but again, the rest of the film drags it down. The voice-over by Robbins isn't spectacular, but his prose does carry some charm over. At the end of the film, if K.D. Lang's original soundtrack hasn't been associated with the most painful cinematic experience of your couch's life, you are "treated" to a music video of the most played song in the movie, K.D. Lang's "Movement." Do yourself a favor and spend the time reading some Robbins or praying if he attempts a film again he finds a director who can do his work justice.
Rating:
Summary: Re-Defines how bad a movie can be.
Review: There are movies like "Plan 9" that are so bad they have a charm about them, there are some like "Waterworld" that have the same inexplicable draw as a car accident, and there are some like "Desperate living" that you hate to admit you love. Cowgirls have none of these redemptions. The cast assembled has enough talent to make almost any plot watchable, and from what I've been told, the book is enjoyable. How then could this movie be so intolerably bad? To begin with, it seems the director brought together a cast of names with no other tie than what will bring in the 20 somethings. Then tell them to do their best Kevin Costner imitations. Open the book at random and start shooting whatever is on the page making sure to keep the wide expanses of America from being interesting in any way. Finally give the editing job to your brother-in-law, because the meat packing plant just laid him off. He does have twenty years of cutting experience. This movie now defines the basement for me. It is so bad, it isn't even good for being bad.
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