The First Turn-On

Rating:
Summary: Turned On Yet?
Review: "The First Turn-On!" is a teen sex-romp camp/beach comedy that skirts the edges of soft-core porn, making it perfect viewing material when you're absolutely convinced you have the house to yourself.

Here's the situation: Michelle, a counselor at Camp Big Tee Pee (Ha ha!), is leading her campers on a nature walk when Mitch, Annie, Danny, and Henry decide to head off to a cave to smoke a joint. I know, that's a lot of folks to be sharing one little reefer. Doesn't really matter, because Michelle finds them and scolds them for a while until there's a cave in, and they all get trapped. What to do?

Well, this being 1983, they talk about sex. Specifically, they each tell the tale of their first times, which are then reenacted for the lucky viewers. So, we get to see Mitch, the greasy punk who keeps flexing his bicep (despite the fact that he doesn't really HAVE a bicep) make out with a blonde hooker, Henry get it on with a young socialite while surrounded by donuts, Annie do the deed with a farm boy, Danny suck face with a Penthouse Pet, and, finally, Michelle herself with a couple of twins. Meanwhile, we cut back to the camp here and there for some more hijinx, which generally involve the humiliation of a male camper or two.

It's pretty standard early 80s teen-sex-comedy stuff, except for a few things. One is the surprisingly huge cast - new people keep showing up all through the flick, which is pretty rare for a micro-budgeted movie like this. Better, though, is that except for the Pet, none of the women fit the conventional teen-sex ideal of beauty. They all have unique features and bodies. Lloyd was clearly interested in casting anyone who was willing to bare a breast or two, and the results are refreshing for a teen-flick. I'm now a big fan of Heidi Miller, who played Annie, and I can't imagine her unconventional looks being featured in any other moron movie. Playboy fans won't like it, but those of us who appreciate diversity will.

Sex-wise, "The First Turn-On!" goes a little farther than your average teen sex-romp. Which is odd, because otherwise it seems pitched at your basic 10-year-old boy. But the sex scenes, which include an extended orgy that has a touch of homoeroticism, go on longer than you might expect. Not sure that's to the movie's credit or not, but hey, there it is.

So what else does "Turn-On!" have to offer? Well, lots and lots of gags. Some will offend you. Some will make you groan. Some will, despite your best intentions, make you laugh. And there are the 80s fashions to make fun of (look how high they wear their tube socks!). Hey, there are worse ways to kill 90 minutes. But again, make sure the house is empty and the shades shut tight. You really don't want to anyone to catch you enjoying it.

Rating:
Summary: Great Troma sex comedy classic
Review: The fourth film in the first four Lloyd Kaufman(aka Samuel Weil) /Michael Herz directed Troma films (preceeded by Squeeze Play, Waitress, and Stuck on You). It has all of the originality, comedy and a sex that is known for in Troma films and is more entertaining and shocking then any modern sex comedy. This was film was made right before Troma made the classic Toxic Avenger. The DVD release of this film features one of the best Lloyd Kaufman commentary tracks, aswell as other extra material which reveals Maddona auditioned for the film, and begged to be in a Troma movie but was turned down and shortly after became famous. The picture quality is good, although it could use color correcting, and has some minor scratches. Definetly a great Troma film, and a great Troma DVD.

Rating:
Summary: Awful!
Review: This is a bad bad bad movie that flip-flops between icky juvenile toilet humor and icky juvenile soft-core porn. A group of teenagers and their counselor get trapped in a cave and tell stories about how they lost their virginity. And....that's it. And it's told in the most tasteless and disgusting way possible. The only reason this movie is seeing the light of day is because it features a young and mortified Vincent D'Onofrio in his film debut. If you want to Vincent, watch a rerun of Law & Order: Criminal Intent and skip this piece of sludge.

Rating:
Summary: Demented and incredibly hilarious
Review: This is an absolute gem, and one of the very best films in the extremely uneven Troma ouevre. A twisted parody of every bad teenage sex movie, it will appeal to fans of subversive, raunchy humor. Imagine a really well-made porn film, with good acting, a brilliant script and decent production values, minus most of the explicit sex, and you'll get an idea of this film's greatness.

Rating:
Summary: Demented and incredibly hilarious
Review: This is an absolute gem, and one of the very best films in the extremely uneven Troma ouevre. A twisted parody of every bad teenage sex movie, it will appeal to fans of subversive, raunchy humor. Imagine a really well-made porn film, with good acting, a brilliant script and decent production values, minus most of the explicit sex, and you'll get an idea of this film's greatness.

Rating:
Summary: Awful!
Review: This is great American cinema.
A classic, deserves a remake.

Rating:
Summary: The Citizen Kane of Troma films
Review: This is great American cinema.
A classic, deserves a remake.